Tag Archives: work ethic

Enjoy Your Success Today

Sometimes I wonder if people want to be successful, or if they just want to be famous.

There are times in someone’s life when they can’t have one without some of the other. However, I observe people who are very successful and they don’t seem to realize it at all. They are seemingly chasing fame instead of celebrating the success they already have and the added success coming their way. The level of success they currently have is spectacular and impressive, and they are already accomplished and awesome, but they are constantly minimizing it themselves and their success because they desire to have fame and a lot fans. Having fame and fandom on any level isn’t at all what it’s cracked up to be. Being famous involves a lot of responsibility that many people truly can’t handle. Sometimes being famous can actually destroy your success.

Success requires work, sacrifice and maintenance. Remember all of those college classes you took and that student loan debt for those degrees? That was work. Remember all of the friends you lost and relationships that failed because you were studying or working? What about the long days and nights you spend striving towards meeting a deadline? Those are sacrifices. Think about your continuing education or leadership classes, conferences and networking events you attend. That is maintenance.

Fame is fleeting and unpredictable; it can help, but it can also hinder. Fame also has limitations. Everyone has different gifts and talents when they come into this world that makes them unique and contributes to the quality of their lives. When you are aware of what your gifts and talents are you can use them towards being a success, instead of trying to emulate others. Everyone won’t be a famous author. I know this because I receive phone calls and emails from people who haven’t completed a manuscript. Everyone won’t be a YouTube sensation overnight or at all. Yet daily people invest a great deal of time in doing so. Every woman with curves won’t become the next Kim Kardashian or Amber Rose, but on a daily basis women strike a pose on Instagram in hopes of being discovered. Becoming famous for most people who do isn’t about their gifts or talent. They are dependent on societal trends and timing. Without that fame formula coming in to play for them, we’d never have heard of them at all. Years from now we won’t remember most of those famous individuals for anything meaningful, if we remember them at all.

I’ve learned that you can’t reach the next level of anything in your life or career if you don’t appreciate where you are currently at. Appreciate the success you have today, no matter how small you may think it is. There’s something to be said for having gratitude in your current situation. There’s a lesson in this moment of your life that you need to learn in order to elevate to the next level.

Even if your name is never in lights on a marquee, strive to be success in your life, not famous. Success comes in various forms. For many people success is being able to pay their bills on time, feed their children and help others in their communities. Success for some people is never going before a judge or having their children go to college. Success for some people is having an opportunity to go a job they love everyday. Success is what the people who matter in your life will remember you for when you are gone.

Gratitude is extremely powerful and pushes you closer to your purpose in this world. Be grateful for what you have in your life and career today. Change your perspective and begin working towards improving upon the success you have without expecting to become famous for it. Your life will be more fulfilling and you will be happier when you do.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Robert Brault

Productivity Is Addictive

I don’t smoke.

I only drink when I’m happy and my limit is two.

I’ve been celibate and I haven’t been on a single date by choice for seven….wait, eight months now.

I admit that if I have any one addiction, it is that I’m addicted to doing things well and being productive in my life and career.

It is an addiction that has cost me friends and relationships for several years. However, I’m not willing to go to rehab to trade-off being productive in exchange for making other people happy. I don’t know if this addiction is genetic or if it was learned behavior; both of my grandparents were hardworking people. Maybe I’m just highly ambitious or I’m aware that having the ability to do what I’d like to do in life isn’t free in the sense that some people think it is. Regardless, I’m an addict. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is check to see if I received any important emails while I was asleep. I quickly try to get replies out, often while squinting my eyes as the adjust to the light of the smart phone in the dark. To some people, that may be an annoyance and I’ve had people say to me “you get up early”. Well, I figure if someone can email me late at night, I can reply early in the morning.

I have my ‘to-do list’ like the planner I am, but I try to allow flexibility in my list for the Master’s Plan. I’ve learned that the plans I make will often need adjustment for one reason or another, particularly this year. I hired an assistant and she is amazing. That helps me to remain calm, focused and productive and people who know me very well can see the improvement. I now have exactly fifteen minutes extra every day that I can use to work on whatever I’m working on of importance that day. And when the day is over, I feel really good. There are events and commitments on my agenda up through December 2014 already and I’m looking forward to each and every one of them. The sacrifices I’ve made are well worth the blessings and opportunities I have received thus far. Sometimes you have to give up something you wanted to receive something you need.

I have goals that include expansion of the Super Woman Brand on a global level and I’m taking the small, yet necessary, steps to achieve those goals. I view each collaboration as an opportunity to introduce more people to the Super Woman Brand and its value. I couldn’t do half of what I’ve done, or a third of what I’m going to do in my career this year without my addiction.

It keeps me going. It wakes me up in the morning. It hugs me close in bed at night. It’s why complete strangers say I’m successful.

My journey hasn’t been without its challenges but I can truly say, my addiction (need) to be productive is definitely paying off.

 

Upgrade Yourself

I’ve been reading a lot from both men and women complaining about the kind of people they are meeting and dating. Women are complaining about men not having jobs, money and ambition. Men are complaining about women being gold diggers, lazy and expecting too much from them. I find it all comical, yet very sad. I find it comical because the majority of the people complaining don’t have their lives together, yet expect others to tolerate it. Some of the people complaining also have extremely low standards, meet a person that meets those low standards but they expect the person to exceed them, as if by magic.

I find it sad because it’s making men and women more divisive than we already are. We no longer seem to appreciate the good things about people and overlook them in exchange for superficial, temporary characteristics that we like, then we don’t understand why our relationships fail. People no longer strive to build friendships that turn into relationships. People just want to have sexual relationships that turn into…well, a hot mess later on. Everything that looks good to you, isn’t always good for you.

First Law of Attraction: You attract who and what you are. There are exceptions to this rule, of course, because there are so many people who pretend to be someone they are not in an attempt to impress a person when they meet them. But for the most part, if you’re looking for a person with wealth, you will need to be wealthy or aspiring towards wealth yourself. If you’re looking for a person who is employed, you will need to also be employed. If you’re looking for someone educated, same should be true of you. If you want someone ambitious, you should make sure that you are as well. Point of clarification: ambitious doesn’t mean you talk about all the things you’re going to do “one day”.

Second Law of Attraction: There will always be at least one quality you’re looking for that a person lacks, so you have to decide if it’s a nonnegotiable (i.e. deal breaker) or not. No one is perfect and no matter how compatible you are with someone, you will always find that there is one thing that person is incapable of giving you. Some of those qualities you seek may be superficial and therefore, you should be able to live without them. But if there are flaws in a person’s character, work ethic and integrity, or they negatively impact that person’s health and freedom (you know what I mean), you may want to reconsider dating them.

Third Law of Attraction: The more you upgrade yourself, the more likely you are to meet someone who is of equal or greater caliber. I’ve learned that the more you upgrade yourself, the more options you have, and the more you can say no to people who aren’t on the same level that you’re on when they approach you. It’s also not about a person’s occupation. Whatever they do, if they don’t have the desire to do it well, there may be an issue with their self motivation. Beyoncé couldn’t upgrade Jay Z had she not already accomplished certain things herself as an individual. You can’t expect to take a person who has never had anything, never been anywhere, doesn’t possess any drive or ambition and lacks basic common sense and turn them into a multi-millionaire. If a person has never given birth to a good idea and had the desire to make it on their own, you coming into their lives won’t change that. Self motivation is a key factor in everyone’s lives. It’s the same part of a person that tells them they need to work in order to pay bills and eat, that determines how successful they will or won’t become.

Fourth Law of Attraction: Be the person you want to have and do it for yourself, not to get a man/woman. This means you need to already have some of the aspects of the life that you want to share with someone else. If you’re in debt, and you don’t want someone broke, get out of debt. If you enjoying traveling, and you want someone else who does, get yourself a passport, some frequent flier miles and go somewhere. If you want someone who is successful, become successful yourself. What happens if you don’t meet someone after you’ve done these things? You will have lived a blessed, successful, enjoyable life on your own terms. You will have had experiences that you can share with your grandchildren. You will have rocking chair memories in when you’re older and can no longer do those things. You will be happy as an individual, regardless of whether you had someone there to share it with or not.

You can’t wait for someone else to come along and upgrade you. That’s not a logical expectation. If you don’t have anything to offer someone else other than your good looks, you’re not going to obtain the person you want to attract.

Men, if a woman has a job, a career, aspirations, children, a car, a mortgage, insurances to pay, and she’s keeping herself groomed (which isn’t cheap),  it’s not likely that she’s going to want a man who adds more bills to her plate, unless she lacks self-esteem or is controlling. If you’re not a provider, you won’t last long in her life because she doesn’t need you. That doesn’t make her a gold digger; that means she believes in self-preservation. You also can’t expect her to lower her standards to accommodate you. You can’t expect her to give you everything you want or need, but you can’t relieve some of the burden or responsibilities she already has. Why should she when she can have what she wants and needs without you? It is true that a woman can do bad all by herself. So if you’re not on her level, upgrade yourself or leave her alone.

Women if you’re always dating men that have nothing to offer, in exchange for orgasms, all you will ever get is orgasms. If the most important thing to you is how a man puts it down in the bedroom, instead of his accolades in the boardroom, you will always have the man who is good in bed, but bad for you emotionally. If he didn’t have a job when you met, him, you can’t expect him to become employed if you’re taking care of him. That’s the truth. I believe that if you don’t work, you don’t eat. If you want a man who is a provider, show him that you can compliment him by being responsible and independent [read Miss Independent for a better understanding of independence and how we don’t use the term appropriately]. If you want a man to respect you, have respect for yourself. This means you will need to have boundaries (like not posting naked pictures of yourself on Facebook), and not allow yourself to be persuaded to let men cross or ignore your boundaries. Men may like to have the girl that’s hot, cute and always down for whatever to play with, but they never want her to be their wife. A man who knows his worth, wants a woman who does also.

Upgrading yourself isn’t easy. It’s a step by step process, that first begins with self assessment and admitting that there are characteristics about you that you can improve upon. These characteristics may span from your attitude to your bank account, from your job to where you live. It may require that you step out of your comfort zone, make new friends or acquaintances or even get a complete makeover. But if you do it for yourself to improve your life and well-being, you will see that the type of people you attract will also improve. There will always be the occasional opportunist looking for someone to take advantage of, leach off of or otherwise take their kindness for weakness. Becoming a better person will allow you to avoid those types of people as well. You don’t have to take my word for it. Try it for yourself and see what happens.

~ “You don’t do it for the man, men never notice; you just do it for yourself, you’re the f*cking coldest” – Drake, “Fancy