Tag Archives: woman

Get Your Happy -An Open Letter to Single Women 

If you’ve been following my journey, you know that I’m not the luckiest woman when it comes to romantic relationships or dating. Although I’m accustomed to being committed, because that’s been the majority of my experience, I’ve had some bad relationships that I had to overcome. Although I enjoying going out, dating has been a serious challenge for me as well. After a couple of stalkers, and too many men who put up facades, it was determined that online dating just isn’t my thing and meeting men in general isn’t always pleasant. 

Instead of doing the “woe is me” single dance, I started intentionally focusing on just being happily single/married to my career. My desire for male companionship has become the last thing I think or care about. Marriage isn’t a goal, it’s an option. And I won’t date a man, or chase a man just to say I “have a man”. I don’t even mind when men assume I’m already in a relationship or married, preventing them from even attempting to date me. I have begun to look at that as a compliment….it means I’m identified as wife material and it helps keep the men who aren’t for me away when they’re unsure of if I’m “taken”, or not. 

I literally can turn men down and not feel any regret. I’ve been doing it for a long time now. I’ve gotten very good at it. I’ve politely said “no thanks” to trips, gifts, dinners, and hotel room keys from a slew of very successful, good looking, and some very famous men, and felt perfectly fine about my decision. *Here comes the grown folks convo.* While other women may think I’m crazy for turning these men away, I know why they show interest in me and more importantly, my p*ssy isn’t what makes me a good woman, therefore, I don’t feel the need to give it to every man who wants it, regardless of his status. Even if a man is genuinely interested in me, it doesn’t change the way I already feel about myself. I know my worth, and no matter how successful, good looking, or famous a man is, my worth isn’t predicated on what he thinks of me at all. I’m not hesitant to let any successful, good looking, or famous man know that “you can Google me, too, bro”, which often, they know already; that is one factor that attracts them to me. 

I can go many of the same places they go and I’m on the same guest lists, so their access doesn’t impress me. I travel, eat at very nice restaurants and wear designer clothes, so offers of plane tickets, handbags and clothes won’t impress me either. Men in my circles grow accustomed to women who fawn over their money, status and material possessions, so when they meet a woman who doesn’t need those things from them, it changes the game and sometimes intimidates them. I’m okay with that. I’m enjoying my life regardless. I’ve found my happy.

I bring this up to say, as women, we have to stop allowing how much we enjoy living life to be determined by how much attention or affection we receive from men. Women “wait” to do things, like traveling, buying jewelry, building/changing their careers, going back to school and buying property, until they “get a man/husband”, while men do whatever they want to do before they get a woman/wife. Too often women will say things like “I want my future husband to buy me a ring/watch/car like this” instead of buying it herself. But a man will see a ring/watch/car he likes and work towards buying it for himself. A woman will say things like “I want to go to Paris/Milan/Ibiza for my honeymoon”, but a man will go to Paris/Milan/Ibiza by himself or with the fellas without hesitation anytime he can afford to. 

Too many women limit the amount of living they do because they prioritize having a relationship with a man above living happily. Those same women often become resentful and envious of other women who have learned to live boldly and happily single, doing everything they want to do…. without waiting for a man to join them or facilitate it for them. That creates a strain in the sisterhood when a woman is unhappily single around her friends who are happily single or happily married. Ladies, you are guaranteed to lose a friend, or two, when you’re not happy because you’re single. 

Life is too short to wait on someone else to live it with you. If you don’t start embracing where you are today and start living life fully, as a single woman, you’ll wake up one day regretting all the things you didn’t do or deferred simply because you were single. Get your happy. Most women meet their Boaz while doing something productive and positive to enhance their own happiness in the first place.  

Devon Franklin posted this picture on Instagram, and it inspired this open letter. 

The Gift of ME

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to YOU! 

Happy Birthday to ME! 

I am so happy to be alive to celebrate the many achievements I’ve had over the years. First, a moment of transparency: I didn’t give any Christmas gifts this year.

From where I sit, I AM the GIFT.

I have given my friendship, loyalty, knowledge, encouragement throughout this year to others, without expecting anything in return and often without any reciprocation from the receivers. I have invested my own personal funds to provide opportunities and programming for the community in which I reside. I have volunteered my talents. I have given of my time and had it wasted, and I consider my time to be very valuable. I have done a great deal more and sometimes I haven’t even been told ‘thank you‘. In spite of whatever I did or didn’t receive in return, I keep doing for others because I believe in being a blessing to someone else, because I have been blessed. Even those who have been ignored by me were being given the Gift of ME.

As a society, we have gotten so accustomed to working hard all year-long just to put ourselves in debt to make other people happy, that we have lost so much of the meaning of Christmas in the process. Yes, it’s nice to give, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to give on one day a year. If you give of yourself throughout the year to others, whether you know them personally or not, you have done well. I have literally watched people operate under pressure as if they absolutely must buy someone in particular a gift and it must be wrapped and in their hands on Christmas day or the world will come to a screeching halt. I refuse to live my life that way. Anyone who doesn’t appreciate the Gift of ME, doesn’t have to be bothered with me. To me, it’s really that simple.

When you decide that you’re not going to spend your hard earned money for the sole purpose of making others happy, a few things will happen:

1. You’ll have more money 

2. You’ll find out who your true friends and loved ones are

3. Because of 1 and 2 you’ll have less stress in your life 

4. Because of 3 you’ll be happier and healthier

You’re more than welcome to continue to brave the malls and stores throughout the month of December in an effort to get the best deals, if that is what you want to do. I actually have some investments in those stores, so I thank you in advance for your contribution to my dividends. However, before Christmas comes in 2014, I encourage you to examine more closely WHY you spend the money on the gifts you buy and the people you buy them for. If the purpose is to say ‘thank you’ to someone, there are cards for that and I’ve heard some people are very partial to hearing the words. If the purpose is to impress others, please understand that they may not be impressed or like you because you bought them something anyway. If the purpose is to make yourself feel good, you won’t be feeling so great when that credit card bill comes, or an unexpected bill comes and you don’t have the funds to pay it because you spent money on gifts to give to others.

The best gifts I ever received were items I actually needed, could use to make my life simpler, that would save me money over time, or related to an experience I wanted but might not have had the money or time to get for myself. When shopping for someone next year, keep that in mind: What do they need? What could they use to make their life better or save them time? What might help them save money over time if you buy it for them? What would they like to experience? Gifts that make people’s lives better or even saves them time could be you hiring a house or carpet cleaner for that person. A closet organizer (person or system) is also a great option. A example of product that a person can use to save money would be a drinking water filtration system for someone who buys bottled water or an at home soda machine for someone who drinks soda. I have both and they work great. I love gifts that provide an experience. A gift certificate for the movies, tickets to a play or concert tickets are thoughtful gifts because they provide an experience for a person and often don’t cost a lot of money. Your time is a great gift to give to anyone. Because we have such busy lives and so much technology at our hands, we often let time rush by us and use ‘quick’ means to communication. Calling someone instead of texting them so that you can actually have a conversation with someone is a great gift to give. It shows that you took time out for them and that they matter to you.

I’m 39 years young today. I almost didn’t make it to this age. So I’m thankful just to be here and hearing ‘Happy Birthday‘ is an awesome gift to receive for me today. Today also marks my personal countdown to my next milestone birthday in 2014 when I turn #FabLife40. I don’t want any gifts then either. I just want some of my friends and family to celebrate with me in St. Maarten. Those who can attend, will. Those who can’t attend will miss a fabulous Christmas celebration full of margaritas, palm trees and sandy beaches. Either way, next Christmas, just like this Christmas, everyone will receive the Gift of ME.

By the way, Super Woman Productions and Publishing is the official Media Sponsor for Finding My Way Home on Saturday, February 15, 2014 at Royal Oak Library.

Looking Forward – New Year, New You

There was a time in my life when I was deeply depressed during the holidays. I felt terribly alone and dreaded the entire experience. I realized later in life that those feelings of depression were brought about because I didn’t know my purpose and therefore couldn’t fulfill it. Now I love the holidays. For me it signifies a renewal process. As much as I don’t like snow, or ice, or salt trucks, I know seeing them is a sign of progression of the seasons and the years. Every holiday for the last few years, I have set attainable goals for myself, both personally and professionally. I have achieved each and every one of those goals, along with some I didn’t expect to achieve, such as becoming the 2013 Confident Woman Award recipient.

This holiday isn’t any different. I’m writing my third book. I’m producing and creating more video content. I’m making myself available for speaking engagements going into 2014. We officially have a BBM Channel as of December 2013, we have a mobile app being developed for release in 2014, a Vimeo Channel, an official YouTube Channel (that’s not new, but it’s still cool), and we’ll be producing more online content starting next year. We’re also already scheduling our guests for The FabLife Radio Show, which reached over 43,000 listens and had over 50 subject matter experts and celebrity guests in 2013. We will resume live shows the first Friday of January. I’m growing the Super Woman Brand and I’m looking forward to another new year of growth and progress.

I’ve come a long way and I want to be an example to others that life is truly what you make of it. Many of us have had experiences that haven’t been pleasant, some of us more than our fair share. But instead of looking at every situation as a tragedy, I now look to discover what I’m meant to learn from it. And sometimes what I think is a tragedy is actually a blessing for me. As we go into the holiday season which will close out this year, I’d like for you to look back on some of the situations you’ve experienced this last year. Look at what your role was in the situation, but don’t blame yourself, just accept responsibility for what you did or didn’t do so that if you’re ever in that situation again, you will know better. Apologize to those you have wronged, forgive those who have wronged you, while keeping in mind that you’re not obligated to include them in your life going forward, but closure can be healing. Healing allows you to grow and move forward.

Don’t regret anything for any reason. I’ve learned that regret will hold you hostage if you’re not careful. Everything happens and yes, sometimes we let opportunities pass us by, but if you know you did you best, you shouldn’t  have any regrets. If you know that your regret comes from the fact that you didn’t do your best and you could have done something better, you actually have time to rectify that if you choose to. Sometimes the fear that an opportunity has completely passed us by is the main reason we don’t try. Not trying is the only regret I condone. If you don’t at least try, you will never know if you are able to do better or obtain closure.

Look forward. The past is behind you for a reason. It’s not coming back. So concentrate on the present and the future. Be realistic in your endeavors and goal setting. Everyone can’t be a super model or a professional athlete. Take the time to discover what the Master’s Plan for your life is that includes your talents and abilities, and strive towards cultivating that. Trying to be something other than what you were meant to become is a complete waste of time and energy. Trying to be what someone else is out of envy is also a complete waste of time and energy. Instead put in the work to be the absolute best version of yourself that you can be in 2014 and beyond. Discover what you do best and do that. 

That’s my focus  – to be the best version of myself, today, tomorrow and everyday after. It’s my own personal New Year, New You project. I didn’t necessarily plan any of this, and I’ve had to make some very unexpected sacrifices to get this far. I know that more sacrifices will be required of me but in the end, the life I’m meant to live will be well worth it because I will have been a blessing to others in the process.

Thank you for your support of Super Woman Productions and Publishing and I will have a lot more for you in 2014.

Happy Holidays! 

 

Be The Change You Want To See

There’s a saying “you should be the change you want to see in the world”. That is never easy to accomplish. I Feel Good! Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference was a huge success on August 17th 2013 at Wayne State University. Super Woman Productions and Publishing received a great deal support and accolades for that event. Our goal was never to make money,  but insteaf to positively impact the lives of young women and adult women across Metro Detroit. Although there were some situations beyond our control, we still rolled with the punches as best we could to carry on the best event possible, to the degree that we set out to do.

As with any situation there is always that one person that sets out to make the event or accomplishment look bad. Those people are the ones sometimes referred to as crabs in a barrel. They are people who are unhappy in their own lives so they make every effort to criticize and make other people unhappy too. You’ve met people like that, I’m sure; they are always looking at the glass as half empty. They are fault finders. Nothing you do will ever please them. One person could consider a situation perfect, but a person like them will always find something wrong no matter what. There’s nothing you can really do about people like that, except to expect them to eventually show up. IFGMBS had such a person show up.

The best part about a fault finder is that they usually are so emotionally disturbed, angry and unhappy to begin with that they trip over themselves and lose sight of the facts. They try to mislead people into believing they are the victim. They make threats against people that they can’t carry out. And when the smoke finally clears you find that everything they said was a lie. There’s always the truth and having the truth helps to counteract a lie. Especially when the truth is documented in writing. When you know that negativity will eventually show up in the form of an unhappy person at some point during your attempt at doing something positive, it allows you to do something they cannot. Be prepared.

Because I know that my good efforts will always be challenged by people who don’t believe in me or what I do or what I’m trying to do, I’m always prepared to deal with people like that. it comes from experience, persistence, and discernment. I can pretty much tell when someone is trouble from the very first time I interact with them. And I was right. This particular woman’s attempt to damage the reputation of Super Woman Productions and Publishing immediately failed.

Other people in a similar situation would probably give up and never want to do something like this again. Fortunately I’m not like other people. I know that doing the right thing is sometimes the most difficult thing to do because it is met with opposition and criticism. I do not let that stop me and neither does my Super Team. We have already set a date for next year’s IFGMBS Women’s Conference. I encourage you to continue to do whatever it is that you do that is positive in your life and for the lives of other, in spite of any opposition you receive. Do not let other peoples’ negative mindset, unhappiness or low self-esteem deter you from your purpose. When you strive to be the change you want to see in the world, like minded people will step up and support you. And if you ever need help trying to counteract the negativity of other people in your pursuit to be the best you possible, feel free to reach out to us here at Super Woman Productions and Publishing. Simply send your question or concern to ask@ superwomanproductions.com, and if we know of any resources that will be helpful to you we will gladly share them. Now go forth and be the change you want to see in the world.

Look For Inspiration In Everything

People often seek inspiration in the hope that something will hit them like a bolt of lightning and catapult them into greatness. When people don’t find the inspiration they seek, they then become defeated, never realizing that inspiration was all around them the entire time, but they were too focused on seeking it somewhere particular. When I’m interviewed or even sometimes in general, people will ask me what has been my inspiration. I don’t recall all of the answers I may have given over the last five years, but at the core, I’m inspired by life. I’m inspired to live a purposeful life, whatever that may be. I don’t have a definition for it. And there honestly isn’t a deep explanation either. But because I’m inspired to live purposefully, I don’t seek to find inspiration in a magic pill or miraculous experience.

My life before many of you knew who I was, was often filled with experiences that were sometimes devastating. I’ve had more than my fair share of near death experiences and drama. Where some of those situations would have driven other people completely crazy, they strengthened me to want to do better, live better, be happier and not rely on other people to help me get there. Not to say that I don’t have the occasional obstacle, but I have a lot less of them than I would have had otherwise. I’ve embraced my inner strength and made it an essential part of my life and my career. As a result I now have more options that I can use.

My journey has also brought me to a place where I see inspiration in everything. Everything?! Yes, everything. I don’t seek inspiration solely from other people. I find it all around me on a daily basis. Inspiration is in the sunrise every morning. Inspiration is in Jill Scott’s “Golden“. Inspiration is sometimes even in a color palette of eyeshadow on Sephora.com. I’m serious. I look for inspiration in everything I see, hear and experience on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes, inspiration is present and sometimes it isn’t. When it isn’t I don’t get upset, defeated or worried either. I acknowledge that instance was a second in time that will pass and life goes on. I’ve been inspired to reach out to different people to express interest in business with them. Sometimes I get a positive response from that person and sometimes I get a completely negative response such as a rude email. If it’s the latter, so what. Life goes on and I keep it moving. It doesn’t diminish or tarnish my inspiration. I just know that is one person I will not consider for any future possibilities. They go on the “do not associate with” list. I’m not exaggerating either, I really do have such a list. I have that list because it inspires me not to put myself in uncomfortable or compromising situations with individuals I know I can’t do business with.  Which also eliminates the potential for drama. See, inspiration can be in everything.

I encourage everyone to start looking for inspiration in everything around you, where you go, the color of the sky, that day’s experiences…everything. Do it for about two weeks and see if it changes your life even a bit. I’m not saying the all the inspiration will feel good. Some of what you begin to see inspiration in will cause you to see some things differently or make some hard choices about your life, your relationships or your career. But hard choices that you are willing to make to improve who you are as a person are never a bad thing, no matter how hurt you may feel in that moment. But first you have to recognize inspiration in different forms instead of hoping for it to come down from heaven like a dove. God puts messages in small places. We have to just be open to them.

I recently added Super Woman Productions and Publishing to Pinterest. As I was pinning and creating boards for current and future public viewing, I found images that were inspirational to me for different reasons. This prompted me to create a board titled Look For Inspiration In Everything. I hope you will check out my boards, and that you will begin to look for inspiration in everything too.

 

Super Woman Brand On Pinterest

 

This Woman’s Work

This woman’s work is never done.  That is why I’m Super Woman. 

I give a lot to others and I expect a lot in return.  I don’t believe in putting my name on, or behind anything or anyone that can not stand and deliver, regardless of the amount of money involved.  I believe in protecting The Brand.  The Brand will be my legacy.

I do a lot of this on my own.  I am the talent, the  publisher, the CEO, the marketing rep and the publicist.  However, I credit several aspects of making Super Woman come to life to those Super individuals I surround myself with.  They inspire me to do more and reach higher.  They also keep me on solid ground and realistic.  They protect my sanity so that I can protect The Brand.  I am the responsible party in this endeavor.  This is my work.

This woman’s work isn’t always easy.  In fact, it is often very challenging and not always rewarding.  I’ve had to eliminate people from my life because they didn’t want the best for me or because they didn’t believe in me.  I’m constantly being tested with unexpected circumstances.  This year has held several tests for me so far and it’s only February.  My car was stolen, my books were stolen as a result, which resulted in some financial pressure for my household.  I had to operate my business with less and still maintain my household.  Once that hurdle was jumped,  I was immediately faced with another unexpected financial circumstance because of human error on the part of a tax preparer from two years ago.  I managed to get that resolved within a couple of days without acting “out of pocket”.  However,  it will take up to four weeks for me to receive reimbursement.  In the meantime, I still need the money.  Today, I had a minor issue with my printer and the copies of The Goodie Bag I just received.  Hopefully, that will be resolved today, as well and without me having to act “out of pocket”.  The good news is that the event that I was supposed to present The Goodie Bag at this weekend was postponed to a later date. 

Someone I care for told me today that this woman, is being “tested”.  I fully agree.  I believe that I am being tested.  I don’t know if it is God testing my faith and resilience or if it is Satan testing my belief  in God.  Either way, I know I am being tested.  This woman’s work is a test.  Who better to be tested than Super Woman?

In retrospect, I don’t really mind the test.  I believe that everything happens for a reason.  Even the things we don’t want to happen have a purpose. I also believe that I am blessed and highly favored.  I believe that anything worth me having will take hard work and perserverance on my part.  I don’t expect this journey to be easy.  I am not naive in the expectation that life and all that it includes will ever be easy.  My life has never been easy.  I’ve been through all kinds of bumps and bruises in my life thusfar.  The beautiful thing is that bumps and bruises do heal.  Some last a little longer than others, but they heal with prayer and strength.  

Because my life hasn’t been easy, I actually expect challenges along the way.  Without those challenges I wouldn’t know how to recover.  Without those challenges, I wouldn’t know how to move forward.  Without those challenges I wouldn’t be the woman that I am today.  I wouldn’t be Super Woman.  And this woman’s work would be in vain.

So I do what I always do. I resolve the issues to the best of my ability, I ask for help resolving the issues, if necessary, and I keep it moving forward.  I don’t pity myself.  If I feel the need to cry, I cry and get it over with.  I pray over the issues and ask for God’s hand and guidance in the resolution of any challenges that I may face.  I thank God for him adjusting my life to fit His plan, so that I can achieve the greatness that I am built for.  Then I look forward to the next day… and the day after that… and the day after that.  It is in divine order for me to do this, or it wouldn’t have come to fruition.  Why do I do it? Because this woman’s work isn’t easy.  If it were easy,  everyone could do it, but everyone can’t.  So I do it.  Because it’s what I do.