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I’m Mad About It – I Want The Goodie Bag Back

They got me – again.  And I’m mad about it.  I can’t believe someone had the audacity to steal my car – again.  And I’m mad about it.  What angers me more than the theft of my vehicle (again) is the fact that copies of The Goodie Bag were in a box on the back seat that I had yet to sale to people anxiously awaiting it.  That sent me over the edge.  I went from Super Woman to She-Hulk in less than sixty seconds.  Now, they are messing with my business.  Now they are hindering my goals.  Now I’m getting angry.  And you won’t like me when I’m angry.  There are two things in this world you should never mess with; my child and my money.  Their thievery has impacted both.

They stole my little ten year plus old Chrysler that I’ve had for a little under a year now.  They took the little Chrysler car that Super Son was to inherit, and take to college with him in a few months.  They took the source of transportation for all of the things that Super Woman has to do.  Yes, they didn’t take my life; but I truly hope that car ruins theirs.  More important to me is the copies of The Goodie Bag that were on the back seat.  I want my books back.  They contribute to the security of my family’s finances.  They are my intellectual property.  They are my creativity personified.  They belong to me until I sale them to you.   

Why do thieves think they deserve to be in a car, that they didn’t pay for, when it’s less than 20 degrees outside?  What makes them think they can just take from people without ramifications?  Well, the joke is kind of on them – for a few reasons.  The car is in need of repairs.  The windshield wipers and fluid don’t work so it will be hell for them to drive in any precipitation.  The front wheel had to be recently replaced because I caught a flat, so the wheel alignment is off.  But the tire was only good enough to last a few days according to the man I bought it from.  Not good for slippery winter weather conditions.  And the spare tire is also no good so if they get another flat, they will have three tires instead of four.  Did I mention that the heat doesn’t work? I’m just saying.  They stole a bigger headache than they bargained for.  I just want The Goodie Bag back. 

I have a couple copies that people can still buy, and I plan to order more to fill any online orders that are placed.  I assure you that I’m not out of business because of this – never that.  It takes a lot more than ignorant street thieves to deter me.  It’s just a set back.  A set back is just an opportunity in work clothes (Melvin Van Peebles).  In the end I will be the one laughing at them.  If the police happen to catch and arrest them, they will go to jail.  And they could be facing civil charges as well, just because I feel like it.   Yes, I know they obviously don’t have any money or they wouldn’t have to steal.  That’s not the point.  The point is to let them know that they can’t steal from people and assume there won’t be consequences or repercussions for their actions.  And no, I don’t care about how old they are, their “situation” or their “problems”.  They apparently weren’t thinking about mine when they stole my property.   And they won’t be thinking about your’s if they come after you.

Everything happens for a reason.   I don’t know what this one is yet.  And eventually I won’t be as mad; but for now,  I want The Goodie Bag back.

I’m offering a cash reward for any legitimate information leading to the return of the remaining copies of The Goodie Bag in sellable condition.  The reward starts at one hundred dollars ($100), but will decrease every two days that go by that I don’t have The Goodie Bag in my possession.  Tweet me the info at twitter.com/BestSuperWoman.  If the information provided leads to me getting The Goodie Bag back, you’ll receive the cash.  But the longer it takes for the books to be returned, the less valuable they are to me.             

In the meantime, I’m hoovering somewhere between Super Woman and She-Hulk.  I just want The Goodie Bag back.

Evolution…

One definition of evolution is a pattern caused by movement. Another is the gradual development of something into a more complex or better form. There are many stages to evolution for an individual. Some people evolve slowly and consistently, others have spurts of evolution. Evolution can take place in our minds, our hearts, our bodies, our finances, our careers, and our relationships. We are ever-changing as people. How you accept and adapt to those changes make the difference in the quality of your life.

If we do not evolve, what is the alternative? What happens to people who do not evolve? We all know someone whose life is stagnant and depressing. They have been saying and doing the same negative, unproductive things for years. Some are in abusive relationships; some have addictions but do not believe in recovery or redemption. Some have extreme financial problems, or are not growing in their careers or improving their personal relationships. They have been unhappy for years. Yet, they don’t make changes in their patterns of behavior or accept changes that occur naturally that can make their lives better. They are constantly complaining about what they don’t have, but they aren’t working towards changing their circumstances. They are waiting for someone else to come along and “rescue” them from themselves. The best evolution is not a forced evolution by others, but one that is initiated by self.

Ted Williams is a recent example of this to a degree. The man has had a tremendous amount of hardship in his lifetime. However, some of it he is personally responsible for. No matter what anyone does for him at this time in his life, he has spent many years of his life not evolving. He has not been the best example of a father or husband. He also has suffered from addiction. He’s been homeless for a number of years and was “discovered” singing while panhandling on a street corner.

Prior to the World learning of Ted Williams, he worked in radio in Columbus, Ohio for a period of time. I’m sure people in and around Columbus, Ohio may remember him and have even wondered what happened to him, not realizing that they were driving past him as he stood on the street. But how much was Ted Williams working to do on his own to change his situation? Why hadn’t his family welcomed him back home if he was clean and sober? Would he still be on that street corner if Doral Chenoweth hadn’t spotted him and pulled out his Flip Cam? These are just a few questions that come to my mind. A lot of people are talented. They work very hard to get to where they want to be and never receive the types of “offers” that Ted Williams has. Why do we celebrate him, more than he celebrates himself? We love an underdog, but isn’t a young man struggling to pay for college on his own, also an underdog?

The reality is this: Until Ted Williams wants to evolve, all of the job opportunities, television interviews, accolades and compliments will not change his life for the better. He could easily regress back into his addiction (allegedly he already has) and go back to panhandling on that same street corner. We can sit in awe of his amazing voice as much as we want to. We can pray for him daily, offer him opportunities, money and support. However, until Ted Williams prays for himself, and becomes self-motivated to change his life for the better, then takes the steps necessary himself, he will soon be forgotten about and be replaced by the next “discovery”. While the young man struggling to pay for college, will graduate and become successful because of his self-determination and the World won’t even notice.

Change and Choices – Part 1

Personal change begins within.  Often we seek to change the minds and hearts of others without realizing that the heart and mindset of another person is based upon their personal experiences and what they have learned from their families and friends.  Those experiences, whether good or bad, have shaped their perspective.  Their personal perspective dictates their actions and reactions to situations and relationships.  Any change that takes place in a person’s heart or mind therefore is the result of a personal choice made by that individual.

We all choose whether or not we want to have a successful relationship, or not.  We choose whether or not we want to follow in the footsteps of those who had toxic relationships also.  You are a product of your environment but you also have the power as an individual to overcome any circumstance that you may have encountered.  If you come from a broken home, you do not have to create a broken home situation for your own children.  If you had an absentee parent, you do not have to be absent from your children’s lives.  If your parents divorced, you do not have to fear marriage, commitment or experience divorce in your own relationship.  If your household was abusive, you do not have to be a victim or victimizer of abuse.  You are not a slave to your past or that of your family.  You are free.  Free to make choices for yourself.  You are free to be better than what you’ve seen, been taught or witnessed.  You are free to make changes to improve your situation and provide a safer life for your children so that they will see a positive example that they can refer back to.        

Statistically more than 70% of Black women in America are single, and approximately 40% of those women have never been married.  However, more than 40% of Black men in America are also single and have never been married either.  This means that just as many Black men as Black women have never been married.  Why is that? Logically you could say that if the 40% of Black women and the 40% of Black men meet, they could get married.  Maybe they just reside in different areas of the country so it’s a factor of distance more than anything else.  Realistically it means that a large percentage Black men do not have the desire or goal to become married.  This means that the 40% of single and never married Black women have to explore other options, such as crossing racial divides, in order to find a mate.  And with there being an overabundance of single and desperate women willing to share a man for the sake of not feeling lonely, many men do not feel it necessary to commit to one woman when they can have a different woman everyday.   

In my own dating experience I meet a lot of single Black men who “do not want a relationship”, don’t consider it a “priority” and do not want to be committed to just one woman.  They are fearful of the possibilities of failure in their relationships because of their past experiences (marriages and divorces) and the situations in which they were raised (single parent homes without their fathers present), or they have so many women pursuing them that they feel they’d be “giving up” something (ego) in order to commit to just one woman.  These men make a choice, regardless of it being conscious or subconscious.  It’s sad, but true.  It’s the reality of dating in the world we live in.      

People are very cynical and negative about personal relationships.  However, that negativity can be overcome through positive experiences and examples.  In spite of some of the bad relationships I’ve had, I recall the ones that were healthy and positive.  Those set an example and developed a standard for me as I move forward in life.  The good relationships taught me that there is hope and the possibility of love.  Those relationships reiterated to me that all men are not dogs, or trifling, or useless.  Those relationships allowed me to value and respect my authentic self and understand what positive attributes I bring to a relationship.  Those relationships also allowed me to improve myself as an individual and as a woman.  I have made a choice that I will have a healthy and successful relationship.  I have made a choice that I want to be married.  I have made a choice that when the day comes, I will work to have the type of marriage I want and deserve.  The only thing I’m missing is a like-minded and like-hearted man who also has the same desire, goals and resolve that I have. 

To be continued…