Tag Archives: relationships

P*ussy Is Already Magical

First it was vaginal rejuvenation, then it was vaginal steaming, now it is vagina glitter.

What the entire f….

All of these products and services doctors are warning women to stay away from because they can be very harmful to women and our reproductive systems. Not to mention they are completely unnecessary to our vaginal health. They are constantly trying to tell us women we’re unworthy and need to fix our vaginas or other physical attributes.  And for what?  So they can get our money (women have a combined $5.2+ Trillion dollars in buying power), damage our bodies (glitter in your pussy is dangerous for so many common sense reasons), lower our self esteem (because if we love ourselves we must be stupid) & make us compete with each other for the attention of men (who wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for our pussies to begin with).

#issatrap

There’s this silent but deadly war against women’s reproductive systems being waged and only noticed when the topic of abortion comes up. This selling of rejuvenation, steaming and glitter for women, is the part of that war that no one notices; the fake out marketing of unhealthy products that tells women tofix your pussy”I love all things shiny, pretty and shimmery, but I will not put herbs, lasers or glitter bombs in my pussy.

I want to know where the penis rejuvenation, steam and glitter products are for men? Oh, wait, that’s right, they don’t exist because men’s penises are ‘perfect the way they are’ in spite of the number of men who never go to the doctor. Not to mention all the community penises out here that need to be rejuvenated, fixed and altered that are sliding into women’s DMs daily that should be kept hidden.

Men don’t have the most beautiful penises, but they’re not targeted to get them fixed, changed or altered nearly as much as women are.  Men get to choose what they want to do with their penises, but women need “permission” from their husband, doctor, priest or some member of society (usually a male politician) to decide what to do with their own vagina.

I read an article published on blackdoctor.org and and I’ve seen a lot of other articles recently about doctors warning against vaginal steaming and rejuvenating, and about how much money companies have made off both. It saddens me how gullible some women are when it comes to our vaginas. Pussy is already magical. These steam and rejuvenating entities are making nearly as much money as companies selling legitimate feminine products are, from trying to convince women that our pussy is “wrong”.

Pussy brings life into the world. You can’t get more magical than that. 

I was partially raised by my aunt who was a RN (Registered Nurse, for those stuck on Urban Dictionary for their vocabulary) and even back then everything she taught me about my vagina is exactly what my OB/GYN says about it today:

Wash with mild soap and water, don’t put dirty things in it, don’t let dirty men touch it.

So simple.

These processes and products for vaginas are not beauty products. They’re not feminine care or feminine hygiene products either. They are a scam to get women to hate the way their vaginas look and feel.  There are so many natural  and healthy ways to clean, rejuvenate and shimmer your vaginas that don’t require sitting on pots with herbs, inserting capsules with glitter and going into plastic surgeons’ offices.

To help  women who don’t know any better, here are 10 ways to keep your pussy magical without causing it unnecessary harm, in no particular order.  Feel free to share with others who need to know.

1 . Get a regular physical exam from your OB/GYN that includes a pelvic exam, pap smear and STD screening. Visiting your doctor is vital to keeping your pussy magical and it helps other women in the community by decreasing the potential spread of bacterial infections and STDs due to sharing sexual partners over time. Even if you’re celibate, getting your pelvic exam and pap smear is necessary because you want to detect and avoid issues such as fibroids and cancer. Consider diseases and cancer as zombies trying to suck the magic from your pussy. If they aren’t slain, they will spread.

2. Wash your hands before your touch your pussy, and after. Germs are spread from hand contact more than kissing. Carry a small pack with your feminine hygiene products, vaginal washes/wipes, hand sanitizer (low alcohol and quick drying) and hand soap with you so that you will be less likely in need of them in public restrooms or at work.  Door knobs, handles and dispensers all have someone else’s germs on them. You don’t want those strangers’ germs getting into your magical pussy.

3. Wash your pussy with mild soap and water. The soap you use to wash your hands isn’t necessarily the best soap to wash your pussy with. Neither is the soap you use on your face due to the age defying, acne preventing ingredients etc. etc. that are in a lot of them. Invest in something milder to use to keep your pussy magical. One of my favorites is from The Honey Pot (BTW, this is not a paid endorsement, but it should be).  The Honey Pot is sold in Target stores nationwide. If you visit their website they have a store locator for those who don’t want to shop online and wait for delivery.

4. Use feminine hygiene products related to your period as recommended. Don’t leave tampons or cups inside of your pussy longer that the timeframe listed on the packaging. Toxic Shock Syndrome is a thing. From what I understand it isn’t a good thing either, so don’t keep tampons in for 8 hours if they should be changed every 4. If you’re a traveler like I am, and you know it’s going to be difficult to change your tampon on a plane or train, or in an automobile, Soft Cups are an alternative because they can be worn longer (again, not a paid endorsement, but it should be).

5. Exercise yourself into a good sweat and do it more than once a month. I don’t want to preach about women needing to get more exercise, but a lot of us do.  A regular, consistent, exercise routine is good for anyone.  Sweat from exercising is good for your pussy. It has pores on the outside of it just like the skin you have everywhere else. Sweat is detoxifying. Your pussy also has blood circulating around it and exercising helps to keep your blood flowing properly throughout your body. After you sweat, shower to get your skin clean and prevent bacteria from attaching to you.

6. K is for kegel. Speaking of exercising, if you don’t know how to do kegel exercises, you’re really missing out on the magic of your pussy. There are devices (such as ben wa balls) that can help you to tighten and strengthen your pussy walls, or you can just use the same motion you would use to contract your muscles to keep you from urinating on yourself.  Seriously.  It’s that simple. Contract, release, contract, release. It’s the exercise you can do anywhere without anyone even knowing. Do it while sitting, standing in line, getting a pedicure, driving your car, updating your status on Facebook or talking on the phone. I did thirty while typing this paragraph.

7. Eat your fruit and veggies. “You are what you eat”  has never been truer.  Even if you’re not vegetarian or vegan, it’s a good practice to consume a lot of servings of fruit and vegetables to help keep your pussy magical.  Some fruit and veggies (and a few dairy) that are highly recommended include cranberries, sweet potatoes, kimchi, greek yogurt, apples, avocados, leafy greens (kale, chard, spinach, collard greens), guava, kiwi, oranges, lemons, pineapples, green bell peppers, broccoli, carrots and strawberries.  Minimally processed soy products including edamame, tofu, miso and tempeh are really good for women over the age of 40.  In addition, fish that contain omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, mackerel, herring, albacore tuna, lake trout, sardines) and oysters are very good for your pussy. No, they don’t make you smell like fish, regardless of what that clown dude you dated told you. If you have a fishy odor coming from your pussy, please refer to #1 on this list immediately.  Garlic and nuts are also good for keeping your pussy magical. Just be mindful with garlic, because too much of it can seep out of your pores and sweat, which can make you smell like garlic. Avoiding a lot of processed and sugary foods also helps improve the smell and health of your pussy. Eat some dark chocolate when you want sugar.  Reach for plain or flavored black tea or kombucha instead of pop or carbonated sugary drinks.

8. Drink half of your body weight in ounces of water DAILY, no matter what other beverages you consume. Never skip water to have a beer, wine, coffee or a smoothie. Water is life. Drink it filtered if you don’t like the “taste” of tap water. Drink it room temperature for easier digestion and start your day with one glass when you wake up in the mornings. Water also reduces your water weight, which reduces bloating during your period.  If you consume water more than any other beverage you will have magical pussy.  Plus it’s a good excuse to practice your kegels.  Add fresh lemon and/or ginger and/or mint to one or two of those glasses of water each day.  This combination consumed cold, room temperature or as a hot tea has many benefits, including helping to reduce body fat, reduce pain and swelling in your limbs and reduce muscle soreness (after exercising). The fact that it helps keep your pussy at its most magical is a bonus gift from nature.

9. Masturbate. Do I really need to explain this? If you don’t know how magical your pussy is firsthand (pun intended), you will easily fall for any trap, scam or sponsored ad telling you that it needs to be fixed because it’s not good enough the way it is. If you don’t masturbate you won’t know what your own pussy is supposed to feel like, so you won’t notice any changes to it that you should.  Masturbate so you know if those kegels are working. Masturbate so you’ll know what you like sexually and what you don’t (men could use some instructing at times). Masturbate so that you will know why they want you to believe that your pussy isn’t already magical. You can’t be fooled into thinking it’s not something perfect and special when you’ve held the proof of its power in your own hands.  And if you need help finding something to make you more comfortable with masturbation, check out these options from Lelo (kind of a paid endorsement) that I have tested personally. 

10. Use condoms when having sex with men who are not your husband. This goes back to my aunt telling me not to let dirty men touch mine. Sadly more and more men want to use condoms less and less, while they are out here being community dick. As a result they are both catching and spreading STDs and bacterial infections to all the women they are having sex with. Dick isn’t magical, entitled men just want women to think it is.  Dick isn’t self-cleaning or life bringing. If a dick gets dirty it needs immediate medical attention and lots of antibiotics.  As a result, any pussy it touches while dirty will need medical attention and antibiotics also. Condoms also limit the exchange of oxytocin during sex, which is the hormone that can trick you into thinking that community dick was special, when it really wasn’t. Men sleep with whoever they can (usually anyone available at that moment) and confident women only sleep with who they want to.  So choose your sexual partner carefully, don’t play with community dick and make all dicks who don’t put diamonds on your fingers, provide for and protect you, use condoms every time.

That’s it. You don’t need glitter or steaming or rejuvenation. Spend that money on a vacation somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Now go forth, and embrace your magical pussy, naturally and safely.

The Carters

They did it again.

Jay Z and Beyonce have excellently executed a brilliant work of art and imagery for the world to witness.

This isn’t the first time, yet it’s interesting to see how some people seem to think that it is.

Both Jay Z and Beyonce are strong artists in their genres and make a great team when performing together. They compliment and elevate each other flawlessly, on stage and off. They are #goals… in my personal opinion. You may disagree, but I won’t care.

I sat in my rented condo in South Beach, Miami recently, and I listened to “pop culture subject matter experts” on a popular day time television show, speak of how Everything Is Love was everything from a visual reenactment of Jay Z and Beyonce’s past marital issues, and proof that Beyonce doesn’t need Jay Z and she should have released another solo project instead, to how neither of them have been on tour in years. Clearly these three show hosts had very short memories, and an unknowledgeable show producer, because both Jay Z and Beyonce have had very successful individual tours just in the last two years. Beyonce toured for Lemonade throughout 2016 and Jay Z toured for 4:44 in 2017.  It’s 2018 and they are now touring together for OTRII, which they began prior to the release of Everything Is Love. Again, I don’t know who the producer of this show was, but they haven’t been fact checking very well. In an interview with the New York Times (November 2017), Jay Z stated that he and Beyonce had worked on a joint project together and decided to delay the release of it until after their individual projects were released.

News Flash: Everything Is Love IS that joint project.

There are levels to this. 

Beyonce and Jay Z marketed the release of their joint project subliminally and strategically. They are relevant enough and have the longevity to do so, while not disappointing their fans in the process by keeping new music releases on the low. To new artists who see the success of this approach to releasing music, I say, do not try this at home. As a new artist, you must first build a loyal fan base of consistently paying customers before you can “surprise” them with new music or impromptu free performances (such as J. Cole and Bruno Mars). There’s levels to this. By skipping ahead to what you see more established artists doing without putting in the same type of work to build a strong foundation for yourself, you are risking more than necessary.

There are many things that can be learned about social media marketing, cinematography and performance value from Beyonce and Jay Z for those who are paying attention and seeking the knowledge. They are methodical and have mastered the fine art of “don’t talk about it, be about” in a very impressive and entertaining fashion. They are a well written dissertation in motion, particularly for those who have the desire to advance in entertainment and music careers. If studied, the levels they elevate to can give you a degree that no university can offer.

I’m inspired.

I’m excited to see what The Carters will give us next.

In the meantime, everything is love.

Predators Are Not Sexy

There’s a screenshot of an alleged message from a man to a woman circulating around social media. In the message the man is demanding that the woman spend time with him. ICYMI :

Men, first of all, if you have to threaten, stalk, harass or intimidate a woman into going out with you, you’re a predator. If you are messaging women repeatedly trying to guilt, shame or demean them into going out with you, you’re a predator. If you think it’s perfectly acceptable to disrespect a woman and her boundaries because you want her attention focused on you, you’re a predator. If you think you have the right to have a woman’s time, attention, and body at your disposal simply because you have a penis, you’re a predator. If you are sleeping with a lot of women then emotionally hurting them, knowingly spreading STIs to them and trying to control them with sex, you’re a predator. If you become so angry that you would physically harm or kill a woman for rejecting your advances, you’re a homicidal sociopath….and a predator. If you are a man who cosigns this kind of behavior when conducted by other men, you’re a predator.

 

You’re a predator.

And until you raise your own self esteem and lower your male entitlement, you will always be a predator.

You’re the Harvey Weinsteins of the world. Lording your perceived power over women in the workplace, at the nightclubs, at the parks, churches, schools and on social media because you think your manhood makes you special. You forget that without women, you wouldn’t even exist. Your only existence is because of a woman giving birth to you. Yet you repay womankind by preying on us for your own pleasure. Deep down you know you’re insignificant, but instead of improving yourself, your self hatred spills over into how you speak to and treat women. Your self loathing isn’t repaired by the money in your bank account, the designer clothes you hide yourself in or the expensive car you drive.

In fact, a lot of predators have no significant financial means or career achievements to boast about. All they have is a penis. Because of that, these predators feel like women should die for their attention because that’s all they think women live for – getting a man.

A lot of predators that I’ve encountered think women are so desperate for attention from men that we should drop our lives, goals, kids, friends, family, plans & careers to be in their company. For what? What are you going to do with my time? Take me to a movie? Buy me a meal? Expect to have sex with me afterwards? Boy bye. Life is about so much more than some insecure, low self esteem having dude with too much time on his hands that wants to control women because he can’t control himself. Dates should be mutual and both parties should want to be together, otherwise it’s not special. It’s definitely not worth being threatened over.

What was most outrageous about the comments were ones from women saying they’d get dressed and leave the house with this man when he arrived. Very few women thought his language was a red flag of danger. In fact, they thought it was romantic because “he must’ve made important plans”. Plans? Really? To do what exactly? Why sit in a car, at a restaurant or movie theater with someone who clearly has anger issues while you feel uncomfortable? This is the kind of person that will kill you in an abandoned house, then go home to his wife like nothing happened. There’s nothing romantic about his message.

It’s disrespectful.

Then there are the men claiming a woman they don’t know (the recipient of the message) is a stuck up bitch because she’s playing games.

News Flash: being busy isn’t playing games.

Being busy is either actually being busy or trying nicely to tell you that there’s no interest in seeing you because just flat out saying that no longer works. I wonder how many of the men who commented in agreement with talking to women like this would also say it was OK for their daughter or sister to agree to going somewhere with this predator? Or does that change things for them? Why? I’m someone’s sister and daughter too; so is she…and so is she. If it was their daughter, sister or mother, receiving this type of message, those same men would want that other man dead or in jail because then it would be wrong. Predators with this mindset towards women lack overall respect for women until it happens to a woman they feel it shouldn’t happen to, like mom, sister and daughter, not realizing that mindset is exactly why it happened to mom, sister and daughter in the first place. That’s that “it’s OK for me to rape, stalk, harass, torment, disrespect your woman, but you can’t do it to mine” thought process that is a root cause to the problems of violence towards women.

Why can’t a woman’s boundaries be respected regardless of who she is? Some of us really have better things to do with our time than spend it with men we don’t want to be with. Why can’t men understand these complete sentences when spoken by a woman?

  • I’m busy.
  • No thank you.
  • No.
  • Don’t contact me anymore.

If a woman sent that kind of message to a man, she’d be called crazy and dangerous by both men and women.

Stalking isn’t the equivalent of romance. Threatening a woman is not the equivalent of making plans for a date. Predatory behavior is not acceptable. It never has been. It never will be. Pay attention to how many predators are losing their power. If you conduct yourself in this manner, eventually you will be next.

Get Your Happy -An Open Letter to Single Women 

If you’ve been following my journey, you know that I’m not the luckiest woman when it comes to romantic relationships or dating. Although I’m accustomed to being committed, because that’s been the majority of my experience, I’ve had some bad relationships that I had to overcome. Although I enjoying going out, dating has been a serious challenge for me as well. After a couple of stalkers, and too many men who put up facades, it was determined that online dating just isn’t my thing and meeting men in general isn’t always pleasant. 

Instead of doing the “woe is me” single dance, I started intentionally focusing on just being happily single/married to my career. My desire for male companionship has become the last thing I think or care about. Marriage isn’t a goal, it’s an option. And I won’t date a man, or chase a man just to say I “have a man”. I don’t even mind when men assume I’m already in a relationship or married, preventing them from even attempting to date me. I have begun to look at that as a compliment….it means I’m identified as wife material and it helps keep the men who aren’t for me away when they’re unsure of if I’m “taken”, or not. 

I literally can turn men down and not feel any regret. I’ve been doing it for a long time now. I’ve gotten very good at it. I’ve politely said “no thanks” to trips, gifts, dinners, and hotel room keys from a slew of very successful, good looking, and some very famous men, and felt perfectly fine about my decision. *Here comes the grown folks convo.* While other women may think I’m crazy for turning these men away, I know why they show interest in me and more importantly, my p*ssy isn’t what makes me a good woman, therefore, I don’t feel the need to give it to every man who wants it, regardless of his status. Even if a man is genuinely interested in me, it doesn’t change the way I already feel about myself. I know my worth, and no matter how successful, good looking, or famous a man is, my worth isn’t predicated on what he thinks of me at all. I’m not hesitant to let any successful, good looking, or famous man know that “you can Google me, too, bro”, which often, they know already; that is one factor that attracts them to me. 

I can go many of the same places they go and I’m on the same guest lists, so their access doesn’t impress me. I travel, eat at very nice restaurants and wear designer clothes, so offers of plane tickets, handbags and clothes won’t impress me either. Men in my circles grow accustomed to women who fawn over their money, status and material possessions, so when they meet a woman who doesn’t need those things from them, it changes the game and sometimes intimidates them. I’m okay with that. I’m enjoying my life regardless. I’ve found my happy.

I bring this up to say, as women, we have to stop allowing how much we enjoy living life to be determined by how much attention or affection we receive from men. Women “wait” to do things, like traveling, buying jewelry, building/changing their careers, going back to school and buying property, until they “get a man/husband”, while men do whatever they want to do before they get a woman/wife. Too often women will say things like “I want my future husband to buy me a ring/watch/car like this” instead of buying it herself. But a man will see a ring/watch/car he likes and work towards buying it for himself. A woman will say things like “I want to go to Paris/Milan/Ibiza for my honeymoon”, but a man will go to Paris/Milan/Ibiza by himself or with the fellas without hesitation anytime he can afford to. 

Too many women limit the amount of living they do because they prioritize having a relationship with a man above living happily. Those same women often become resentful and envious of other women who have learned to live boldly and happily single, doing everything they want to do…. without waiting for a man to join them or facilitate it for them. That creates a strain in the sisterhood when a woman is unhappily single around her friends who are happily single or happily married. Ladies, you are guaranteed to lose a friend, or two, when you’re not happy because you’re single. 

Life is too short to wait on someone else to live it with you. If you don’t start embracing where you are today and start living life fully, as a single woman, you’ll wake up one day regretting all the things you didn’t do or deferred simply because you were single. Get your happy. Most women meet their Boaz while doing something productive and positive to enhance their own happiness in the first place.  

Devon Franklin posted this picture on Instagram, and it inspired this open letter. 

Don’t Let the Likes Fool You

We live in an age where social media is prevalent. It’s not going away no more than the Internet it lives on is, and everyday it becomes larger than the previous day. Social media is truly embedded into our culture and how we communicate with each other. That can be both good and bad. It can be good because social media allows us to communicate with people that we may normally have not had access to because of distance and language barriers. There are also many other benefits to social media; such as the ability for businesses to reach a global consumer base and relatives to stay in contact from miles away.

Unfortunately, one of the down sides to social media is the impact it has on individuals and their self-esteem. A lot of people, adults included, use social media to validate their self-worth in society. Many people only have interaction with others by way of their social media accounts and the strive on a daily basis to make other people “like” them. What they fail to realize is that some of those people liking their content, whether it is photos, memes or statuses, don’t really know or like them as a person and would not ever support their endeavors in the real world where it matters.

For instance, being a radio show host I offer independent artists the opportunity to have their music played on my show. I did this because I was constantly receiving messages with links to YouTube videos from artists asking me to watch, like and share their videos. However, many of those artists weren’t generating revenue from their video content on YouTube. So what’s the point in me liking your art when my ‘like’ is not helping you to make money from your art? To me it was a waste of time. So I offered artists another, more traditional method, by which they could be heard, not just liked. A many of them have stated that they have seen an increase in the number of PAID downloads of their music as a result.

Artists and musicians aren’t the only people impacted. Aspiring models, actors and others are in the same boat. People love the way they look on Instagram and like their pictures on Facebook, but that doesn’t help if those same people aren’t going to see the actors in plays, movies or aren’t watching their television shows, and…. well…. everyone wants to be an Instagram model nowadays, so you can imagine how stiff that competition is. Getting a lot of likes on Instagram doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be booked for the next Dolce & Gabbana, or Macy’s campaign anymore than for the local county fair at this point.

Part of the issue is the façade that big brands portray to consumers as well. When big brands seek partnerships or endorsements, outside of professional athletes and well-known celebrities, they often seek individuals in large part due to the quantity of their social media following more than the quality of their followers, the person’s power to influence those that follow them or their own loyalty to the big brand as a consumer.  This makes everyday social media users and those with dreams of success and stardom believe that they only way to be successful is to have a huge following on social media.

What’s the use if your followers can’t be converted into consumers?

For instance, reality show stars are now being cast in movie roles that actors/actresses fight and train for, simply because they have a larger social media following, but they don’t actually do anything. The movie studios do this because they hope that the reality show star will give them free advertising for their movie. True enough, the advertising is free, but what movie studios fail to realize is that everyone that follows that reality show star on social media isn’t really a loyal fan who would buy a ticket to see them star in a movie.

Being in media has afforded me the opportunity to hear what everyday people honestly think about others. I don’t know what it is but me, but people love to talk to and confide in me. I hear it all the time “I just follow them because I think they are funny/I want to see what people are saying about them; but I’d never spend my money going to see them perform/sing/dance, etc.” And that’s the hard truth that a lot of people don’t know when they have dreams and goals of Instafame.

Consider the newest social media darlings, The Westbrooks. They are being called the black version of the Kardashians. I wouldn’t consider that a compliment personally, but maybe they do. They have millions of combined followers on Instagram and a reality show on a popular cable network. On the show, we get to witness the sisters attempt to do what their father (a successful businessman), suggests they do; monetize their social media following. We also get to see their friends either support their attempts (backyard pool parties) or try to use them for their own attempts at gaining clientele (club openings). Which is probably where the Kardashian comparison comes into play. It seems that the “power” their wield over their social media minions could be used more productively than to endorse hair extensions and pop bottles in nightclubs. They all seem to be intelligent young women, with guidance from their hardworking parents, who didn’t always have it easy, so they understand building success in a more traditional way to acquire longevity.

So why shouldn’t The Westbrooks be able to do something bigger and more impactful with their branding than what everyone else on Instagram is doing?

Time will only tell when it comes to how far things will go for The Westbrooks. They’ll either make change, make waves or be replaced by the next hot group of pretty sisters on the internet. In the meantime, I hope that they serve as a lesson on how fleeting and intrusive Instafame without strategic preparation can be. I also hope that at some point we move away from the façade of what makes people successful and show examples of more men and women using their influence on social media for more than monetization. Those people exist. They may not have millions of followers, but they have quality followers, who are positively impacted by them, myself included. Big brands aren’t paying attention to those types of social media influencers….yet. But that is something that I also hope will change so that being attractive isn’t the only talent left for people to have in order to become successful.
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Real Women Won’t Hold You Back

There’s something terribly wrong with this picture. Women, especially the younger ones under 35, are always crying about men lacking ambition, drive, focus, determination and commitment, but those same women do everything possible to undermine, discourage and sabotage the men who do. They think that being a real woman means having a man. They think that being a good woman means chasing a man. They are even so foolish to think they can get and keep a man by threatening and harassing other women. It never works in their favor, yet they are determined to try.

I feel bad for men who are surrounded by women who themselves don’t want anything more out of life  other than to be “hood”, “liked”  and “ratchet”.

To put it bluntly, there’s a THOT TAKEOVER in progress in this world, and they are doing their best to try to take our promising men down with them. Yes, the thotish behavior of women is negatively impacting the success of men of every generation and will for generations to come if it’s allowed to spread. It’s difficult enough to lay the foundation for our sons to grow up and become strong, decisive, productive members of society, but when you add a thot to the equation, you make the mathematics impossible to solve for any man.

I’m a feminist, who also loves men. No matter how much heartache I’ve had in past relationships, I have a tremendous amount of affection towards the male gender. I have learned a lot about myself and men specifically in many areas of my life because of the men who are and have been apart of it.  It’s not always easy to do, but I can say that because I am not bitter and angry,  like some women, I have built awesome rapports with men personally and professionally. I have the respect of these men because of the kind of woman I am, and the way I conduct myself; not because of how many fans I have, or don’t, and not because of sex.

When it comes to sex, I have no problems being celibate. Keep in mind that I’m not practicing celibacy because I can’t get a man. The problem I’ve always had is that my sex appeal attracts too many men and often they aren’t the kind of men I’d want in my life. It’s the combination of pheromones and the long legs that start at the floor and come all the way up to make an ass out of themselves, that causes me problems with men… or so I’ve been told.

Celibacy is a character, esteem and strength builder.

Celibacy helps me to focus on myself on a deeper level and have a clearer mind so that I will have better discernment when I do decide to date a man. Celibacy shows that I can be sexy without having to have sex. Because of celibacy, I can tell which men are worthy of my time, attention and energy, and which ones are not. Further, because I don’t chase men, I don’t hate on women who have a man, and I don’t compete with thots, I’m self-assured, confident, successful, and I don’t share my body with every good-looking, charming man who wants it. Those are just some of the many characteristics that men actually find attractive about me and other good women in the world. Thots don’t have those qualities going for them. Thots are selfish. They are attention whores who need to be validated at every turn. They like to use a lot of words and can’t say anything meaningful or valuable. They can’t bring anything to the table, not even a pitcher of water because they concentrate more on how cute they are than being smarter or successful. They are braggadocious about their sexuality, and overly aggressive towards men that have absolutely no interest in them because of it.

Men are comfortable with women who don’t try to manipulate them,  who can speak to them like they are adults and allow them to make informed decisions for themselves. Any man who has ever said he didn’t want to pursue a relationship with me wasn’t harassed or belittled. He was set free to do whatever he thought was best for him at that time. Any woman he decided he did want to be with or even showed him attention after me wasn’t harassed by me either. Why? Because I don’t need to prove myself or my womanhood to any one. What does that resolve? Nothing.

In my personal relationships, sometimes men later realize that I may have been the better woman and sometimes they don’t, but they can never say I wasn’t a good woman towards them when they were with me and they can’t say I’m crazy because I can’t handle rejection either. Thots hate rejection. It hurts their feelings because they lack maturity and self-esteem. Thots are quick to attack the next woman in a man’s life, while real women know that they have other options that they can take advantage of.

I learned early on how to be a motivating factor and a supportive woman to a man. It’s not hard, but not everyone can do it either. It’s not about the material things. It’s not about being loud and making it rain in the clubs. It’s not about proving you’re the baddest bitch in a room (that woman doesn’t have to prove anything because everyone else already knows she is). It’s not about cooking a struggle meal or giving good sex either. That’s how thots think.

Real women, grown women, know better.  Grown women know that men mature at different stages, ages and for different reasons. We as women can’t always motivate and nurture men throughout every one of these phases, but we do know that when a man seeks something better for himself of his own accord, he will find and want the woman who will help him accomplish that. He’s not going to give his attention to the woman who is telling him he can’t, he shouldn’t, she doesn’t want him to, or the woman trying to sabotage all of his opportunities and relationships because she fears losing something that wasn’t truly hers to begin with – him. After all, if he was hers, they’d be married and supporting each others dreams and goals.

There’s a vast difference between a good woman who knows how to have a man’s back and a thot who only wants to hold a man back. A thot knows that him moving forward in his life, growing, maturing and becoming successful in spite of her, means that she has no power over him.

Real women don’t seek to have power over men.

Not our husbands, not our sons, not our brothers. We seek to co-exist and partner with men so that we can have a stronger dynamic in this world. There’s so many forces against us already as women, we don’t need to be anymore combative with each other or over any man.

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