Tag Archives: ready

Been There, Want That

We’ve all heard the term “been there, done that” in one form or another. It’s a shorter way of explaining to others that you’ve already had that experience previously. We all have a “been there, done that” associated with both good and bad experiences in our lives. Unfortunately, we usually say this when the experience was bad and one that we would prefer not to repeat again in our lives. My “been there, done that” is always connected to relationships with men. I have literally been in almost every situation imaginable. I’ve been in an abusive relationship, I’ve been lied to, manipulated and had my kindness taken for granted. I’ve been stood up, I’ve been let down and I’ve even had men attempt to break me down. I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been the other woman, and I’ve been one of many women.

Been there, done that.

The only experience I have yet to have has been that of the only woman. I’ve yet to experience the love, understanding, partnership and romance that I associate with having a healthy relationship.

Being me seems like a lot of fun to everyone on the outside looking in. I’m told I have “so much going for me” and people always want to know why I’m single. Although I’ve had some men who were less than stellar come into my life [and not last very long], I’ve also dated many very attractive men. I’ve traveled and had a lot of life learning that you can’t get in a classroom. I’m beyond book smart as a result and I’m proud to possess common sense and street smarts as well.  I have a fabulous wardrobe accompanied by a very sexy shoe collection. I’ve worked tremendously hard for everything I have; material, and intangible. And I’ve been told that one day I’m going to be an old lady with a bangin’ body. I’ve always had really great sex, but what I want to have is a really great love affair. I want that connection with just one man, for the rest of my life.

Being Super Woman is a lot of hard work. I have to always be “on” and “ready”. Some men can’t handle that. My beauty is natural, but requires some work on my part to maintain it. Some men feel I’m intentionally seeking too much attention and that makes them insecure when it comes to me. I want someone who can love and accept my most vulnerable self – the woman who wears no makeup, a t-shirt and just her panties around the house – and still find me beautiful and worthy of his heart, his time and his affection.

Ideally, I want someone I can go home to the Fortress of Solitude with and just be myself. I need someone that is capable of being my shoulder to lean on when I need them to be. Someone who supports me and my goals through the bright lights, photo shoots and public appearances, but also supports me when my feet hurt because of shoe-icide. I want a man who doesn’t have any fear of losing me because he knows he put in the necessary work to get and keep me in the first place. I want a man who is proud to let me shine and isn’t ashamed to tell the world he’s with me. I need a man who knows what being a man is about and has what it takes to play the role of Superman in my life story.

That’s what I want.

Until that day comes, I’ll continue to write this chapter in my life –  solo.

Getting Ready

This weekend is a big weekend for me.  I’ll be having a book signing  for “The Goodie Bag; The Erotic Fiction Collection” at the First Fridays After Work Affair on Friday, March 4, 2011at Ambiance Lounge, 211 W Congress, Downton Detroit, from 5:30 pm to 9:30 pm.  I’ll also be presenting my business to the public at the I’m Every Woman Expo on Saturday, March 5, 2011at the Silver Garden Event Center, 24350 Southfield Road, Southfield, MI from 10 am to 3 pm.  Needless to say, I’m a little nervous.  I’ve been getting ready; from hair to clothes, to making sure I have my brochures, books, and information together.  Of course Murphy’s Law is coming into play.  Anything that can go wrong, will.  But I’m working through it.  These last few weeks have been full of “tests” and I’m determined to pass them all.

Super Son was recently accepted to attend Clark Atlanta University in the Fall.  He’s been blessed tremendously since he didn’t work the plan I set out for him.  He still has three other colleges we hope to hear from before he makes a final decision – which is based solely on who is offering the most scholarships to him for his attendance.  However, he hasn’t been as proactive as I would have liked for him to be when it comes to getting ready for college.  It’s been stressful on me because I trusted him to get ready for this transition in his life.  I thought he’d be looking forward to it.  I might have been wrong.  But his options are few. He won’t have the opportunities that I had because my path is my own, and his is his own.  At the same time, I do expect great things from him, because he is Super Son.  And to whom much is given, much is required.  I expect him to do his due diligence and prepare himself for his future.  He can’t expect Super Mom to always be there to instruct him or remind him of his responsibilities.  After all, to be fair, I have additional responsibilities that I will have to maintain long after he has left for college.

So last night, I spent  quite a bit of time explaining to Super Son why he should’ve gotten ready last summer, like I told him to.  I also showed him how he has inflated the stress in his life by not being proactive and doing what was asked of him several months ago.  As I was doing this, I was going over his acceptance package and his financial aid with him.  I don’t know how much the Fed will expect me to contribute towards his education yet, but I do know that I will need to sale a whole lot of books to pay my share of the $18K per year college tuition at Clark Atlanta University… or any other school that may accept him between now and May. 

The plan was changed. Now we have to adapt to a new plan.  We have to get ready…again.

It could be a lot worse.  Super Son has never been a problem child, he’s never spent a minute in handcuffs or used drugs.  He isn’t chasing girls more than he’s doing homework and his teachers don’t seem to have a problem with him.  I think he’s realizing how important it is for him to get ready ahead of time, instead of waiting until the last minute, hoping that by osmosis things will go his way.  I think he got a reality check.

While I was preaching to him, I still had my own “to do list” to complete for this weekend.  This weekend isn’t all I have to get ready for.  I have another expo in Chicago at the end of March, and another expo in April in Metro Detroit.  I have to get my finances together because I need my marketing materials ordered and reordered, my hotel room reserved, additional books printed, hair appointments made, clothes selected and I have to inform as many people as possible of my upcoming appearances. 

How do I manage it all? It’s not easy. But I was built for this.  So, I chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, while I put the work in. 

For to whom much is given, much is required. 

It’s time to get ready.