Tag Archives: necessity

Russell Simmons Doesn’t Know My Name

Sometimes I forget all of the things I’m capable of writing. Even though I constantly receive rejection from online news publications and magazines who claim they are looking for writers who are able to write about a variety of subjects or one subject specifically, I know that I’m a damn good writer. I know how to research a subject thoroughly. I know how to add statistical information without making the work boring and I can add humor when needed to keep it from being too serious. I know how to make people think, whether they agree with me or not. I know things about writing that you don’t learn in school. Things you can only learn from experience and by being given the gift.  

I’m working so diligently at trying to find a place to showcase my abilities to the rest of the world, that I forgot that I’ve already been published by GlobalGrind.com. I wrote two articles in 2010 in hopes of acquiring a long term freelance position as a blogger with the company. Unfortunately, GlobalGrind.com has since decided to no longer enlist the aid of “average” individuals to write blogs and have recruited celebrities to write blogs about themselves and each other. In a way, some would argue that I still qualify (as a celebrity), but Russell Simmons doesn’t know my name, therefore, I’m not a celebrity (yet). But that doesn’t bother me at all.  

That’s pretty much how it is. If people don’t know you, they aren’t often willing to take you seriously. They won’t meet with you and they won’t take the time to find out about you. You have to be “popular”, like a Kardashian. It’s called name recognition. I’m concentrating more on Brand recognition. I think that is better in the long run. It lasts longer and is often missed more if it disappears. I don’t want to be known for just one thing (writing erotic fiction), which is why I blog on this website. I want to be known as the masthead for a diverse media brand. The more exposure I’m able to obtain the better it is for The Brand, but at the same time, everything isn’t a part of the Master’s Plan. My route to success if going to be harder than that of someone who happened to fall into success overnight or by being discovered.

I’ve started on my novel “He’s A Problem” and on “The Goodie Bag II“. But I’m taking a short break from literary fiction to write spec scripts for television shows. I will pick up where I left off on “He’s A Problem” and “The Goodie Bag II” soon. That the power of being the boss; I can change my own deadlines. I’ve got a ton of ideas for stage plays and movie scripts as well. Plus a notebook full of book topics. There’s enough talent and creativity bottled up inside of me to keep Super Woman Productions and Publishing in business for years and years to come. I’m just waiting on people to notice. I’m also waiting for us to begin to use the technology that we buy to do more than update our Facebook status.  

As I read the “rejection” emails from entities like Examiner.com, I realize that I’m not being rejected by them. They are being rejected by me. They aren’t ready for me. They aren’t the catalyst necessary to further my purpose. They will one day become nonexistent because they are not an example of diversity. They are the same thing, recycled in a slightly different package. A year ago, I attended a technology conference where there were only three African Americans in the whole room. And we were all women. The conference gave highlights and previews of what I’m seeing come to fruition in today’s technology marketplace and online environment, including the implementation of Google+. I integrated Google+ into this website even prior to having my Google account upgraded. That’s called forward thinking.   

Instead of being the next trending topic or dying fad, I’m striving to break the molds. All of them. Repeatedly. From the screen on your smart phone to the motion picture screen. I encourage people to open their minds as they follow me on this journey. The Super Woman Brand will become more than what you’ve seen so far and more than you’ve seen from others in the industry. Russell Simmons doesn’t know my name today. But one day soon, he will want to.

In the meantime, check out the two articles I wrote for GlobalGrind.com last year by clicking the links below.  

I Ain’t Mad At Nicki Minaj  

The Case for King James

 

The Flower Doesn’t Dream of the Bee

There comes a time when you think about what you want to do, and what it takes to do those things. I’m in the midst of a huge storm in my life. I’ve been weathering it – barely, but I’ve still been weathering it. It is taking a toll on me because I lack patience. I also only have so much control over it and I don’t like not having control. Even limited control is the same as no control to me. But I press forward anyway. Everyday a small step. Even when my small step gets stepped on by someone else’s agenda. I press on. I move forward. I keep doing and working towards fulfilling my purpose.

I need to weed my garden again. Someone recently opened my eyes to that. It wasn’t something they said or did. It was simply a physical manifestation of what I was already thinking. Having someone look me in the eyes and tell me what I already knew in my heart and soul only solidified it. There’s nothing wrong in my world except for what I allow to be wrong. And there’s nothing wrong with me doing everything by myself. I’ve been doing it for a very long time. It’s just a part of the Master’s Plan and I need to trust that. As long as I don’t give up, I will get to where I want and need to be.

I have days when I really wonder if what I’m doing matters at all. I’ve said that before. And just like before, someone I didn’t even know was paying attention to me will tell me that I am making a difference. They tell me that my words have helped them. That they have had similar experiences and can relate. They reinforce that I’m fabulous in every way. They encourage me to keep going because I’m encouraging them.

In spite of all the difficulties I’m going through right now, it is necessary for my growth as a person in general and as a woman in particular. I will be the Queen of All Media if I continue on the path set before me. I will achieve all of my dreams and put all of my fingers into various areas of media and entertainment if I continue to persevere. If a person who only knows me from Facebook, Twitter or has only spent a few hours in my presence can see it, then surely I can see it also. It’s not the money I seek. The money only pays the bills. And although I have too many bills and this year I’ve had a hard time paying them, it’s still not about the money. It’s not about becoming a celebrity either. It’s not about popularity. I still have a shy side who likes to stay at home and watch action movies. Becoming a “celebrity” might not afford me the serenity to do that. I want to make my dreams come to fruition. The same dreams I’ve had for over fifteen years.

Here’s what I’ve discovered: A dream deferred dies. A dream pursued is realized. I’m deciding to continue to pursue my dreams regardless of who notices or who doesn’t: regardless of who cares or who doesn’t. My dreams aren’t about anyone else. They are about me and how I plan to utilize my talents and knowledge to influence and potentially alter the face media. They are about how I can help others transform and improves their lives and heal their hearts. True enough, others will benefit from my dreams, however, they are not responsible for my dreams. Only I can be responsible for my dreams. Only I can take the necessary steps towards achieving those dreams. Only I can fulfill my purpose.  

The same is true of you and your dreams. Do not let anyone distract you from your dreams. Plan and pray over the work you put into it, and embrace the Master’s Plan. Don’t get too involved in the “end result” or how much money you want to make in pursuit of your dreams. It’s not about the money. It’s about fulfilling your purpose. A purpose driven life equals a dream realized.

~ The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. The flower blossoms and the bee comes.   

Opportunities in Work Clothes

This year I’ve been going through a lot. Everything I attempt encounters an obstacle. This is almost the fifth month into the year and I’m just not where I want to be. Building my brand is a struggle. Businesswise, it is a struggle because I don’t have access to the finances to utilize certain resources that I need to take myself to where I need and want to be. Yes, I have been blessed to meet and associate with a few influential people, however, they don’t offer their assistance to facilitate my career growth. Their major concern is themselves, and rightfully so. After all, everyone isn’t capable of supporting other people’s careers. Plus, some people believe that I can be successful without them – positive thinking [“That girl’s going to be somebody one day”].

Often my struggle is internal between my wants and needs, my successes and my failures. Being Super Woman is not easyI just make it look like it is. Everything associated with my brand is strategically planned, but not necessarily by me. Some aspects of this plan are in Divine Order and they happen when they should and how they should. Sometimes I don’t like it, but I deal with it regardless. I’ve learned that when we pray for something, God isn’t just going to give us exactly what was prayed for. Instead, He will often give us the opportunity to obtain what we’ve prayed for. It’s just like giving your child a toy they want. Sometimes we have to tell our children they need to earn that toy by getting good grades or cleaning their room. The work makes the reward more valuable.

When I pray for wealth, God doesn’t give me the winning lottery numbers. Instead He gives me the opportunity to do certain things that will put me on the path to becoming wealthy. When I pray to be a blessing to others, God gives me a project instead of a halo, so that I have the opportunity to be a blessing to someone else. When I pray for strength or courage, God gives me the opportunity to be strong in the face of adversity or show courage in times when I feel fear. When I pray for patience, God sends a man into my life who is just like I am – stubborn, headstrong, determined and ambitious – so that I have the opportunity to exhibit patience. I never said God didn’t have a sense of humor in His approach to our prayers.

Although this struggle is both external and internal for me, I believe there will be a time when I look back on everything and feel a sense of accomplishment because I was given the opportunity to achieve my goals. I am trusting in God’s plan; it’s better than anything I can design, stronger than anything I can shape and bigger than anything I can imagine. Where it will take me is where I’m meant to be.

Failure is not an option.

“A set back is just an opportunity in work clothes” – Melvin Van Peebles

This Woman’s Work

This woman’s work is never done.  That is why I’m Super Woman. 

I give a lot to others and I expect a lot in return.  I don’t believe in putting my name on, or behind anything or anyone that can not stand and deliver, regardless of the amount of money involved.  I believe in protecting The Brand.  The Brand will be my legacy.

I do a lot of this on my own.  I am the talent, the  publisher, the CEO, the marketing rep and the publicist.  However, I credit several aspects of making Super Woman come to life to those Super individuals I surround myself with.  They inspire me to do more and reach higher.  They also keep me on solid ground and realistic.  They protect my sanity so that I can protect The Brand.  I am the responsible party in this endeavor.  This is my work.

This woman’s work isn’t always easy.  In fact, it is often very challenging and not always rewarding.  I’ve had to eliminate people from my life because they didn’t want the best for me or because they didn’t believe in me.  I’m constantly being tested with unexpected circumstances.  This year has held several tests for me so far and it’s only February.  My car was stolen, my books were stolen as a result, which resulted in some financial pressure for my household.  I had to operate my business with less and still maintain my household.  Once that hurdle was jumped,  I was immediately faced with another unexpected financial circumstance because of human error on the part of a tax preparer from two years ago.  I managed to get that resolved within a couple of days without acting “out of pocket”.  However,  it will take up to four weeks for me to receive reimbursement.  In the meantime, I still need the money.  Today, I had a minor issue with my printer and the copies of The Goodie Bag I just received.  Hopefully, that will be resolved today, as well and without me having to act “out of pocket”.  The good news is that the event that I was supposed to present The Goodie Bag at this weekend was postponed to a later date. 

Someone I care for told me today that this woman, is being “tested”.  I fully agree.  I believe that I am being tested.  I don’t know if it is God testing my faith and resilience or if it is Satan testing my belief  in God.  Either way, I know I am being tested.  This woman’s work is a test.  Who better to be tested than Super Woman?

In retrospect, I don’t really mind the test.  I believe that everything happens for a reason.  Even the things we don’t want to happen have a purpose. I also believe that I am blessed and highly favored.  I believe that anything worth me having will take hard work and perserverance on my part.  I don’t expect this journey to be easy.  I am not naive in the expectation that life and all that it includes will ever be easy.  My life has never been easy.  I’ve been through all kinds of bumps and bruises in my life thusfar.  The beautiful thing is that bumps and bruises do heal.  Some last a little longer than others, but they heal with prayer and strength.  

Because my life hasn’t been easy, I actually expect challenges along the way.  Without those challenges I wouldn’t know how to recover.  Without those challenges, I wouldn’t know how to move forward.  Without those challenges I wouldn’t be the woman that I am today.  I wouldn’t be Super Woman.  And this woman’s work would be in vain.

So I do what I always do. I resolve the issues to the best of my ability, I ask for help resolving the issues, if necessary, and I keep it moving forward.  I don’t pity myself.  If I feel the need to cry, I cry and get it over with.  I pray over the issues and ask for God’s hand and guidance in the resolution of any challenges that I may face.  I thank God for him adjusting my life to fit His plan, so that I can achieve the greatness that I am built for.  Then I look forward to the next day… and the day after that… and the day after that.  It is in divine order for me to do this, or it wouldn’t have come to fruition.  Why do I do it? Because this woman’s work isn’t easy.  If it were easy,  everyone could do it, but everyone can’t.  So I do it.  Because it’s what I do.

Days Like This I Need a Cloning Machine

Life is full of changes.  I’m excited by all of the opportunities coming my way, but there are some days, like today, when I wish that I had a cloning machine.  I’m preparing for a lot of different things all at the same time.  To add pressure to the pot, I’m suffering from a cold.  I earned the name Super Woman because I’m always multi-tasking and I’m able to do it seamlessly.  It’s my dream come true and more than I imagined.   However, there are days when I wish there were at least two more exact duplicates of myself whom I could delegate tasks to.  Since I’m meticulous in my approach and everything I do must be done to the best of my ability, it’s difficult for me to delegate tasks to others who may not treat my ideas with the same sense of priority.  For me everything is a priority – even if it has to be delayed, it never really is.  It’s just re-prioritized to another level to be revisited later after something else is completed.  That’s the method to my madness.

I’m not alone in my need for a cloning device.  There are women like me everywhere who have a ton of things that need to get done and who would also like to have a clone of themselves capable of helping them.  They are mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, counselors, chauffeurs, coaches, teachers, physiologists, referees and chefs; everyday all day long.  Women – we do it all and we do it well.  A cloning device would help a lot of us in our day to day lives.  Unfortunately, the technology has yet to catch up with the need.  Or has it?  That’s the beauty of supply and demand.  If you build it, they will buy.   

I have been blessed to have a tightly knit team of Super friends who are very supporting of my endeavors and they help to keep all of this crazy that is I, in check.  But I can’t take advantage of them because they also have their own families, careers, goals, and endeavors that they need to apply their own energy to as well.  That is the common thread that explains why they are my Super friends. 

On days like this I have to plan, plan, and plan some more to get things done.  I call on those who are able, and have to time to do something for me.  I barter and negotiate to get things done.  I try to remember to eat, squeeze in some meditation and prayer and try to exercise also.  I plug into my mp3 player for focus because I can’t work in dead silence.  I drink my green or chai tea and take by vitamin B12.  I operate on as much sleep as I possibly can get and vow to rest when I’m rich; preferably in the Caribbean.  Then when all is said and done I thank God, get up and do it all over again the next day.  

Until cloning technology is available, and harmless, I will continue to do what I do; put all of myself into my tasks to turn out a good product/service.  I will continue to lose sleep, forget to eat, do too much too often in an effort to do it all.  It’s what I do.  It is who I am.   After all, I am Super Woman and to whom much is given, much is required. 

…but a cloning device would really help. ♥

Prioritizing Love

Priority – somebody or something that is ranked highly in terms of importance or urgency; the state of having preceded something else.

Prioritize – to order things according to their importance or urgency; to regard something as most important or urgent.

Temptation – a desire for something considered wrong; the incitement of desire or craving in somebody.

Necessity – something that is essential; a basic requirement; water, food, shelter, clothing, love and acceptance; the condition of being needed or required.  

Blessing – something to be glad or relieved about; a favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness.

Someone recently told me that a relationship is not a priority for them.  I’ve heard this a million times.  I believe that anything that someone wants badly enough becomes a priority to that person.  A person’s lack of desire for something doesn’t make it less important in life, just less important to that particular person.  According to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, our human needs are, in order of importance from most to least, (1) physiological, (2) safety, (3) social, (4) esteem, and (5) self-actualization.  Physiological includes what we know as basic human needs; food, shelter, sex, and breathing.  Safety includes security of body, employment, resources, morality, family, health and property.  Social includes love, friendship, family and sexual intimacy.  Esteem includes confidence, achievement/success, and respect of and by others.  Self-actualization includes morality, creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, lack of prejudice and acceptance of facts. 

If you understand the Maslow Hierarchy principle, then you know that social includes relationships with others both related to us by blood and by emotion.  Our esteem is connected to our achievements and status in society.  If this is true, then why do so many of us look at love as less of a priority than career?  Why do we put our goals and desires to succeed and make money above having someone to share those achievements with?  Why do we prioritize love as the least important element in our day to day life?  Why do we view love as a temptation instead of a necessity? 

The happiest people I’ve ever met are not the wealthiest financially.  However, they are considered very wealthy because they have mates.  They have taken the time to cultivate strong and resilient relationships that include emotional bonds with their mates.  They have families, friendships and great sex.  They have prioritized love into their lives.  Then there are the single people who strive to make more money, gain more position, and obtain more respect from people whom they don’t share any emotional connection with.  They already possess the physiological and safety needs, so they feel that they can overlook the social needs and continue on to the esteem and self-actualization needs.  Do they ever go back and try to capture the social aspects?  Yes.  And sometimes they fail to do so because since it was not a priority to them, they passed on every opportunity for love that came their way.  In their minds when the opportunity arose, it was not the “right” time.  They had other priorities to concern themselves with that took precedence over love. 

Then there are the single people like myself who want everything.  We want to fulfill all five of the human needs in Maslow’s Hierarchy.  We believe that we can have balance, just like many of our married predecessors.  We may have even failed at love previously but we still believe it to be a necessity.  Unfortunately, we often find ourselves in encounters with the single, success-seeking individuals who do not view love as a priority.  They desire the money, status and respect of others, but do not desire to come home to the love and respect of a mate.  One of my biggest fears is being extremely successful, but not having anyone to share my experiences and success with.  Not having anyone to encourage my steps when I’m moving in the right direction.  Not having anyone to catch me when I fall or wipe my tears when I fail.  How lonely life could be with a huge bank account and no one to share life with.  No matter how much money I make, I can’t take it with me when I die [no one’s tombstone says “He made a lot of money”].  But I believe that I can share a love that lasts an eternity.     

People often throw themselves into their careers as a defense mechanism against love.  They fear love and the requirements of it.  Love requires commitment, focus, decisiveness, self awareness, honesty, and selflessness, among other things.  These requirements are often more difficult for a man, because in society men aren’t always celebrated for the wife they have, but instead for their professional achievements.  Love isn’t leisure, it is work.  You can’t take a vacation from love.  When love hurts, it can be debilitating.  There is no cure for love when it hurts.  When love is presented with problems, you can’t walk away from it, tear it down and start all over.  As a result some people opt to take the easy way out and decide not to include love.  Some people literally choose not to prioritize love into their lives.  They’re afraid of the work more than potential failure or pain.  In spite of our fears about love, under Maslow’s Hierarchy, without love, a human being is not “whole” in life.  A life without love isn’t living; it is just existing.     

So, the “timing” isn’t right when you meet someone.  When did humans become powerful enough to control “time”?  Everything happens for a reason, and it happens when it should, not necessarily when we want it to.  If an opportunity presented itself unexpectedly for your career, you would view it as a “blessing”, not an obstacle or a temptation.  You would do whatever was necessary to take advantage of that opportunity.  You would fear losing the opportunity and never getting another.  You would conquer your fears, travel long distances, empty your bank account, sale your car, change your routine or schedule, you would change your plans, and you would even disappoint others in order to accept the “blessing”.  You would pray about it, increase your tithe offering, burn sage and anything else necessary for that blessing.  Sometimes people are also a blessing in our lives.  They are brought to us for many reasons.  Some people come into our lives for a season, some for a reason and some for a lifetime.  Someone who comes into your life that you feel a connection to may also be the one you are meant to love.  But if you are unwilling to take advantage of the opportunity, it will pass you by.  That person will then become a blessing to someone else who was unafraid of love.  I heard Steve Harvey say that more love songs have been written by men about lost love because men fail to see what they have until it is gone.  They don’t view love as a priority.    

Time waits for no one and some opportunities only come around once in a lifetime.  If you are willing to make sacrifices for achievements and material possessions, why would you not also make sacrifices for love?