Tag Archives: naked

Here I go fighting with Facebook…again

Over the last few years, I developed a small following of individuals on Facebook and on some other social networking sites.  A lot of it is solely for the purpose of networking for The Brand, some of it is entertaining and some of it is actually social. Of my current 1,800 Facebook friends, I probably know 10% of them personally and another 10% I’ve met casually or are acquainted with outside of Facebook. Over the past several months, Facebook has implemented their own form of “Community Standards” that allow people to anonymously complain about people’s pictures and wall posts that they find “offensive or inappropriate”. It covers things such as harassment and (Facebook) identity theft also. What I’ve found is a) it’s just another tool for haters to hate, and b) it’s not protecting anyone from actual harm. Young adults are still being bullied via Facebook and there are still hate mongers, racists and plenty of inappropriate and offensive things slipping through the cracks because the haters only care about reporting what they think needs to be reported, not what protects society as a whole.

Recently, for the second time, someone reported one of my photos as “sexually explicit” and “inappropriate”. The photo they were referring to is actually the back cover of “The Goodie Bag”. In the photo I’m wearing a bra and panties, with black stilettos while laying across and bed with a gorgeous male model holding one of my legs. My breasts, my behind and my vagina are not visible at all. There’s no kissing, touching or hugging taking place in the photo. My body is barely touching the male model’s. It’s a beautiful picture of me. The photo is sexy without being overtly sexual and it speaks to the tone of “The Goodie Bag”, while it leaves something to the imagination. If someone thinks the photo is more than that, it’s their opinion and they are entitled to it. Just like I’m entitled to look fabulous in the photo. The truth is, the pictures inside of “The Goodie Bag” are a lot sexier and the language is completely sexually explicit. It’s erotic fiction; it’s supposed to be. I know that it was likely a hater who reported the photo because they don’t have anything better to do. I can’t wait to see how they will react when the pictures forThe Goodie Bag II” come out.

***yes, there are haters everywhere…including on Facebook***

Once again I find it completely hilarious, and hypocritical, that someone thinks that one of the best pictures of me on Facebook is “inappropriate” with all the near naked women in thong-kinis all over that very same social network. Some of these other women go so far to gain attention that they actually “tag”  people in their photos forcing innocent people to have someone else’s nakedness displayed all over their wall for all of their friends and relatives to see without prior knowledge or consent. You have to be a “friend” to see my pictures, unless you “like” my fan page. If you “like” my fan page, you know what the purpose of it is and there’s no need to report anything because you’ve made a conscious choice to be included in the content by willingly clicking the button. No one forced you into it. No one “tagged” you into it without your knowledge of consent. You made a choice. If you don’t like it, don’t look. Pun intended.

We have the freedom of choice. Or so I thought. But Mark Zuckerberg and his Facebook developers seem to think that they have more freedom of choice than the users of Facebook. Now that Zuckerberg is a gazillionaire, you can’t add him as a Facebook friend. You can’t send him a message to his inbox, you can’t tag him in a post or picture, you can’t write on his wall or ask him to join a group. He has been stalked into hiding from the rest of us. But he hasn’t done much to protect users like us from being stalked. He has made himself completely untouchable via the social network that he created (or stole, depending on which version of the story you decide to believe). However, he’s constantly making decisions for Facebook users that compromise our right to choose for ourselves. What’s with people being able to add you to a group without you knowing what the group is about? According to Facebook, only your friends can add you to a group. But it’s hell to remove yourself from these groups. The option isn’t even available for mobile Facebook users. It must be done from a computer. That’s not fun.

I’m am constantly and randomly being added to groups by my “friends”. Usually it is the “friends” that I don’t actually know personally or am not acquainted with outside of Facebook or they’d know I don’t want to be a member of a group I know absolutely nothing about. There’s nothing wrong with creating a group to market your product of service, supporting your beliefs or charity, but the beautiful thing about consumerism is that people get to select where they go for their products and services. The beautiful thing about America is that we can all have our own beliefs and support our own charities without being forced to participate in someone else’s.  As a consumer you get to opt out of unwanted emails or be placed on “do not send” lists. Facebook groups are not like that. The creator or any member of a group can “add” any of their Facebook friends to that group without any forewarning.  You find out you’re a member by notification. It’s like walking into a game of Russian Roulette that you didn’t know was taking place, and someone puts the gun to your head, pulls the trigger and *bang!* you’re a member of their group. Every time I get an email notification from Facebook I feel like I got jumped into an online gang. I get bombarded with other people’s opinions, thoughts and ideas through my personal assistant at all times of day and night. Some stuff is interesting, but for the most part it’s an overload of information that I don’t have the time or patience to read or understand. I don’t get to turn it off  immediately. No, that would be too convenient. I have to go to my computer and click “Leave Group”. Then I get threatened again with a message that says if I leave the group I’ll have to be invited in order to return to it. Doesn’t that sound a lot like a gang? Or even the mafia?

I don’t know which is worse, how Facebook allows haters to harass people using their “Community Standards” as a tool of suppression, or how they allow groups to target people at random for mandatory participation. All I know is that if I created a group and forced people to participate, someone, somewhere would complain and I’d be threatened by Facebook – again. Well, while Mark Zuckerberg sits in his Ivory Tower away from us peasants, passing his Facebook laws, I will continue to do whatever I like and post my pictures on my Facebook page, regardless of who does or doesn’t like it. You do not have to be my Facebook friend. It is your choice. I, unlike others, won’t force anyone to participate by adding them to a picture or group that they aren’t actually in or want to be a part of. I respect everyone’s right to choose for themselves, whether I agree with their choices or not. 

I’ve also decided that regardless of how many haters complain, I’ll remove my incredibly beautiful photos from“The Goodie Bag” when Facebook bans all of the haters, pedophiles, porn stars, naked wanna-be-models, racists and bullies from Facebook. So take your time and enjoy the photos. And if you want to know what all the fuss is about, purchase a copy of “The Goodie Bag” here.

Abuse of Power

I rarely forget what men say to me. A man once told me that if I knew the power I have over men, I’d be dangerous. What’s interesting to me is that I do know that power.  I know it as well as I know myself. I know my own weaknesses, vulnerabilities and strengths. When it comes to the power this man was referring to (my sex appeal) I am very much aware of what I’m capable of. However, I choose not to abuse the power. I choose not to manipulate men. I choose not to play games. I choose not to utilitize everything I have in my womanly arsenal to tempt, deceive or destroy. Even though I could.  I could post pictures of my body in full profile here on my website or on Facebook. But I choose not to. I could post pictures of myself many places on the internet in nothing but a thong with my booty right in the camera. But I choose not to. I could do a lot of sexually explicit things. I have the body for it, men like it, but it would defeat the purpose of what I’m striving to do.

People have different opinions of nudity and the extent of what should/could be shown. I recently posted a picture on Facebook attached to an event to promote my first time hosting a friend’s radio show in his absence. The picture is inside my book “The Goodie Bag”, on page 61. Someone, named Jan Davis, allegedly reported the photo as pornographic and I was asked to remove it. What’s funny is that the only thing you can see in the picture is the male model’s back, my arms and one of my legs. No breasts, no booty, no nothing else.  Yes, we appear to be nude in the picture and we’re locked in a sensual embrace. But there’s nothing pornographic about it. The other thing I found funny is that there are women all over Facebook with little to nothing on with their booties bent over, spread wide and up high. Some of them are wearing merely dental floss and pasties, if that. There are thousands of “big booty girl” groups on Facebook that men ogle over daily.  I’ve been asked to provide pictures for them, but I’ve refused. Some of these groups literally feature porn actresses and male magazine models who pose completely nude all the time.  It’s how they make their money. But my picture is pornographic and not deemed suitable “for a family oriented website like Facebook” (quotation from Jan Davis,  who allegedly reported my one photo, while other people run sexually rampid on Facebook).  I wonder if Jan Davis polices everyone on Facebook, or just me.  Either way, she’s not very good at it (allegedly). But I digress.

My point is this. There’s a lot of things I could do. Yes, my book is erotica. It is very sexual in nature and the language could definitely be considered “written porn”. In some of the stories I get downright raunchy and if you have the imagination for it, you could truly find yourself discombobulated by it.  That’s what makes it good erotica. But the visual aspects are a tasteful, sensual enhancement to the written words. I could’ve gone way, way, way to the left and flat out put in photos that were beyond anything used to promote the book on Facebook, but I didn’t. If I had, I’d probably have three or more Facebook profile pages as a result of the overwhelming friend requests from men that I’d receive. That would be an abuse of womanly power. I personally think the photos of me I have are already more than enough. They are professional photographs, not PhotoShop enhanced and are for the purpose of marketing “The Goodie Bag“, not to get a man.  I believe in leaving something to the imagination. I think it’s actually more sensual and sexy to do so.  The slightly sexier photos are included inside the book “The Goodie Bag” and you have to be eighteen years old to buy it.  The photos of other women on Facebook are often their profile pictures, taken in their bathrooms, with their camera phone.  I’m just saying.

Now, I’m not saying I’ve never taken male magazine type photos; I’m not a hypocrite. I’m just saying the public may never get to see them and if they do, it wouldn’t be anything shocking or disturbing to young children.  As a woman, who is a Brand and has aspirations beyond being pretty, I think that my talents should outweigh my sex appeal. I know that’s not going to ever happen. Men look at me first and hear me last, if at all. That’s the way things are. But once a man listens, I want him to be able to see beyond the sex appeal and then hopefully find the intelligence to be equally sexy to him. I want my work ethic to shine as much as the patent leather on my stilettos. I want my mental brilliance to overshadow my curves.  I want my work to be less about what’s between my legs or below the small of my back and more about my entrepreneurial skills and vision.  

I want my self confidence to grab a man by his…

Although I can get attention so many other ways than by being smart, I choose not to. I choose not to abuse the womanly power I possess over men. I prefer to use it to motivate women to be sexy in a way that doesn’t compromise the virtues of being a woman. And I might sometimes decide to do so in a sexually overt manner  –

*pause*

[Public Service Announcement: The Goodie Bag II” is coming this fall and the pictures will be more sexually graphic“The Goodie Bag; The Erotic Fiction Collection” will be available on the Kindle app for iPad, iPhone, Android and Blackberry THIS week so put the kids to bed early.] *resume*

– I can make that decision because I control this Brand. If that also makes people jealous, angry or even causes Jan Davis to (allegedly) report me again, that’s okay too.

If I have your attention, maybe you’ll actually hear me.  With great power comes great responsibility (to whom much is given, much is required) and I take my responsibilities seriously. All women should. And we shouldn’t use our power against men… or each other.