Tag Archives: model

A (Motion) Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Why Do Men Cheat? That’s not a rhetorical question nor is it one being posed to start a debate, so please don’t email me all of your answers or opinions♥. Why Do Men Cheat?  is a movie. Yes, I said a movie. The movie is written, directed by, produced by and starring Detroiters and guests stars Alex Thomas, Sandy “Pepa” Denton, Cherie Johnson, Bobo Lamb, and Damon Williams. The writers of the movie are Ken Baker, Jr., Tamekia Dobbs, Lauren Johnson and the movie is based upon some of the life experiences of the Executive Producer, Delano Glass. I attended the movie premiere and I was very impressed. I’m not easily impressed.

Before you call the movie man-bashing, don’t judge a movie by its title. The movie delves not only into the excuses men give for cheating, it shows the enabling behaviors of the women, the consequences of their actions and even shows what positive outcomes are available for men who decide not to cheat to remedy their relationship issues. The movie is funny when it needs to be, heartfelt when it needs to be, and relatable no matter what side of the debate you sit on. It’s a story that you may say you’ve already heard, or think you know, but maybe you really don’t. Maybe you’re too biased, depending on your opinion to look at a different viewpoint. After all, every man who cheats has an excuse that he thinks validates his actions, and every woman who knows her man is cheating has an excuse for enabling him. But I digress.

The film stars the very talented and very handsome Wynn SardenWhy Do Men Cheat? is Wynn’s first starring role in a feature-length film [I’m going on record by saying that Wynn Sarden may very well follow the path of his favorite actor (and mine), Mr. Denzel Washington, if he continues to study his craft and take advantage of the blessings and opportunities coming in his direction. Wynn also has a role in Sparkle being released on August 17, 2012]. The first time I saw Wynn was on an in store poster for my stylist Mark England. I didn’t know he was an actor until recently and I didn’t know he was good at it until I saw Why Do Men Cheat? Again, I’m not easily impressed, and I was impressed. Without giving away the movie, Wynn stars as a professional athlete who is faced with the outcomes of his behaviors and the decisions he makes with regard to his relationships with women [a brief interview I conducted with Wynn follows this review]. There are two additional stories included in the movie and you need to pay atttention or you’ll miss something very clever.

Whether you are a man or a woman, single or married, there is something in this movie that might hit home for you. It may not cause all the cheaters of the world to have a come to Jesus moment… but then again, anything is possible. Before you assume that the movie premiere took place in a theater full of angry women with pitchforks and torches, let me dispel that thought. The theater was full… of women and men… a lot of men. Therefore, if you were a single woman, this would have been a good place to go. A single woman in the audience could pay attention to the reactions of the single men during the movie, therefore assessing those who are guilty of similar behaviors, those who have gotten all of the fuckery out of their systems and learned to do better, or those who don’t cheat because they just know it’s not worth it to do so. The only men who could be angry about this movie are those same men who are mad at Steve Harvey for Think Like A Man; the men who don’t want women to know what they do because they have something to hide. If you’re not the cheating type, you won’t be offended by the film. Also, how can you be offended by something you haven’t even seen yet?

There were also some come to Jesus moments for women in the film. Why Do Men Cheat? depicted some of the behaviors that women are guilty of that contribute to men cheating as well; the groupie behavior, the starved for attention behavior, the I want him for myself behavior and other destructive acts that women commit. After all, the men who cheat, need a woman to cheat with. So for every guilty man, there is a woman who was wrong too. More often than not, she knows it or finds out later, but goes along for the ride anyway. Regardless of the excuses that men use, and whether you agree with them or not, Why Do Men Cheat? was an excellent film and I’m looking forward to seeing Why Do Women Cheat?

 

View the video of my interview with

the movie’s star, Wynn Sarden by clicking here  

 

 

The WRONG One

In this economy people are willing to do a lot of things they normally wouldn’t do to make ends meet. Some people look for creative ways to make money. Some people look for enterprising ways to make money. Some of those things may even be considered morally wrong. Some people even stoop to doing things that are illegal. Some people are predatory and offer “options” to people and take advantage of their need to make more money. A person’s individual boundaries are their own to live with and so are the ramifications of their choices. My boundaries are firmly set. Regardless of how much I need money, there are just certain things I’m unwilling to do. I will not rob an old lady of her social security benefits. I will not attempt a Nigerian bank scam (why do they even continue to try?) and I will not take my clothes off for men I don’t know. I have the tendency think about my future goals and aspirations and how doing certain things can deter those goals and aspirations. That allows me to keep a reasonably cool head even in the face of stupidity.

The last boundary I previously mentioned, is the subject of this blog. This week, I received a message from a man on Facebook asking me if I’d be interested in burlesque dancing with a blues shows in a downtown Detroit bar. Instantly, I was offended. I didn’t know this man from Adam. He wasn’t a Facebook friend, an acquaintance or anyone that I’d had any interaction with at all. He obviously didn’t know anything about me. I replied to him, “Nothing on my Facebook profile, or website says I’m a burlesque dancer, a stripper or exotic dance, so why would you ask me that?” That question was actually rhetorical. I already knew that he assumed I would “strip” for money because of whatever his misogynistic ideas are related to women, along with the stereotypical belief that an attractive woman  doesn’t have any brains. He also believed that women in general are willing to take our clothes off for money because times are hard. Therefore, anything he said, would definitely not surprise me.

His response was “I apologize if that sounded rude. Burlesque is classy entertainment. I thought you were affiliated with modeling or some form of entertainment”. To me that was hilarious. Here’s why. Of course asking a woman you don’t know to take her clothes off for men she doesn’t know is RUDE, I don’t care if it’s burlesque or ballet. Secondly, being ‘affiliated with modeling or some form of entertainment’ doesn’t mean getting naked for men you don’t know. We don’t all have to resort to that and many of us don’t. I told him that what I found “rude” was that for some reason he assumed that the entertainment I’m involved in relates to taking my clothes off at a bar. Obviously this small minded man thought that in order for a woman to be involved in modeling or entertainment, she must either be naked or nearly naked, in order to be considered a “model” or “entertainer”. Last I checked serious models and entertainers don’t have “I will take my clothes off in a bar” on their resume.  

I told my boyfriend about this exchange. His first response when I told him the man’s initial words to me was “Uh, oh. He picked the wrong one”. What my boyfriend knows is this; I’m not that caliber of woman and I don’t accept men saying offensive and disrespectful things to me, simply because they think they can. I don’t believe what a woman is wearing defines her character or her worth. It’s that woman’s actions that matter most. Therefore, if a woman isn’t behaving like a hooker, you can’t call her a hooker because you think she’s dressed like one. It might be Halloween or a bad fashion choice, not a profession that she’s exhibiting in her attire. The truth is, as women, it doesn’t matter what we wear or don’t. There’s always some idiot who thinks women are only good for what’s between our legs because that’s the limitation of their braincells. Yes, there are pictures of me that are sexy and sensual related to the marketing of “The Goodie Bag“, but I could have been completely covered up from head to toe in a  berka and that man would’ve still sent me the same message. Because that is what he thinks women are worth – dancing at bars without clothes for men that they don’t know.

By the way, I also told him had he done his due diligence prior to sending me that message in the first place, he would’ve discovered that I am an entrepreneur, publisher and author and the picture he was looking at was related to “The Goodie Bag” and nothing more. But that would’ve been too much like right. I think he knows I’m the wrong one. Maybe he learned his lesson. Maybe not. I do know he won’t be sending me anymore messages. After all, he wouldn’t have sent that message to Oprah and gotten away with it. There are a lot of women who would’ve been offended that probably never would’ve responded to him at all. So I spoke up for them. And there are probably some women who gleefully signed up to burlesque dance for him when he messaged them. They will probably make $250. In this economy he can’t afford to pay a woman thousands of dollars to take her clothes off. And he knows that some women don’t have the boundaries I have. That’s what makes him a predator; lurking and waiting for someone to become desperate.

Lastly, I told him he can’t afford my rates so I’ll gladly burlesque dance for my boyfriend in the privacy of our bedroom. At least I know what I’m getting into and what I’m getting out of it. I also know, it won’t deter my goals, cause me to be posted naked on YouTube or give him anything to sale to the Enquirer when I become the next Queen of All Media. That’s a boundary I can live with –  and that is priceless.