Tag Archives: marriage

P*ussy Is Already Magical

First it was vaginal rejuvenation, then it was vaginal steaming, now it is vagina glitter.

What the entire f….

All of these products and services doctors are warning women to stay away from because they can be very harmful to women and our reproductive systems. Not to mention they are completely unnecessary to our vaginal health. They are constantly trying to tell us women we’re unworthy and need to fix our vaginas or other physical attributes.  And for what?  So they can get our money (women have a combined $5.2+ Trillion dollars in buying power), damage our bodies (glitter in your pussy is dangerous for so many common sense reasons), lower our self esteem (because if we love ourselves we must be stupid) & make us compete with each other for the attention of men (who wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for our pussies to begin with).

#issatrap

There’s this silent but deadly war against women’s reproductive systems being waged and only noticed when the topic of abortion comes up. This selling of rejuvenation, steaming and glitter for women, is the part of that war that no one notices; the fake out marketing of unhealthy products that tells women tofix your pussy”I love all things shiny, pretty and shimmery, but I will not put herbs, lasers or glitter bombs in my pussy.

I want to know where the penis rejuvenation, steam and glitter products are for men? Oh, wait, that’s right, they don’t exist because men’s penises are ‘perfect the way they are’ in spite of the number of men who never go to the doctor. Not to mention all the community penises out here that need to be rejuvenated, fixed and altered that are sliding into women’s DMs daily that should be kept hidden.

Men don’t have the most beautiful penises, but they’re not targeted to get them fixed, changed or altered nearly as much as women are.  Men get to choose what they want to do with their penises, but women need “permission” from their husband, doctor, priest or some member of society (usually a male politician) to decide what to do with their own vagina.

I read an article published on blackdoctor.org and and I’ve seen a lot of other articles recently about doctors warning against vaginal steaming and rejuvenating, and about how much money companies have made off both. It saddens me how gullible some women are when it comes to our vaginas. Pussy is already magical. These steam and rejuvenating entities are making nearly as much money as companies selling legitimate feminine products are, from trying to convince women that our pussy is “wrong”.

Pussy brings life into the world. You can’t get more magical than that. 

I was partially raised by my aunt who was a RN (Registered Nurse, for those stuck on Urban Dictionary for their vocabulary) and even back then everything she taught me about my vagina is exactly what my OB/GYN says about it today:

Wash with mild soap and water, don’t put dirty things in it, don’t let dirty men touch it.

So simple.

These processes and products for vaginas are not beauty products. They’re not feminine care or feminine hygiene products either. They are a scam to get women to hate the way their vaginas look and feel.  There are so many natural  and healthy ways to clean, rejuvenate and shimmer your vaginas that don’t require sitting on pots with herbs, inserting capsules with glitter and going into plastic surgeons’ offices.

To help  women who don’t know any better, here are 10 ways to keep your pussy magical without causing it unnecessary harm, in no particular order.  Feel free to share with others who need to know.

1 . Get a regular physical exam from your OB/GYN that includes a pelvic exam, pap smear and STD screening. Visiting your doctor is vital to keeping your pussy magical and it helps other women in the community by decreasing the potential spread of bacterial infections and STDs due to sharing sexual partners over time. Even if you’re celibate, getting your pelvic exam and pap smear is necessary because you want to detect and avoid issues such as fibroids and cancer. Consider diseases and cancer as zombies trying to suck the magic from your pussy. If they aren’t slain, they will spread.

2. Wash your hands before your touch your pussy, and after. Germs are spread from hand contact more than kissing. Carry a small pack with your feminine hygiene products, vaginal washes/wipes, hand sanitizer (low alcohol and quick drying) and hand soap with you so that you will be less likely in need of them in public restrooms or at work.  Door knobs, handles and dispensers all have someone else’s germs on them. You don’t want those strangers’ germs getting into your magical pussy.

3. Wash your pussy with mild soap and water. The soap you use to wash your hands isn’t necessarily the best soap to wash your pussy with. Neither is the soap you use on your face due to the age defying, acne preventing ingredients etc. etc. that are in a lot of them. Invest in something milder to use to keep your pussy magical. One of my favorites is from The Honey Pot (BTW, this is not a paid endorsement, but it should be).  The Honey Pot is sold in Target stores nationwide. If you visit their website they have a store locator for those who don’t want to shop online and wait for delivery.

4. Use feminine hygiene products related to your period as recommended. Don’t leave tampons or cups inside of your pussy longer that the timeframe listed on the packaging. Toxic Shock Syndrome is a thing. From what I understand it isn’t a good thing either, so don’t keep tampons in for 8 hours if they should be changed every 4. If you’re a traveler like I am, and you know it’s going to be difficult to change your tampon on a plane or train, or in an automobile, Soft Cups are an alternative because they can be worn longer (again, not a paid endorsement, but it should be).

5. Exercise yourself into a good sweat and do it more than once a month. I don’t want to preach about women needing to get more exercise, but a lot of us do.  A regular, consistent, exercise routine is good for anyone.  Sweat from exercising is good for your pussy. It has pores on the outside of it just like the skin you have everywhere else. Sweat is detoxifying. Your pussy also has blood circulating around it and exercising helps to keep your blood flowing properly throughout your body. After you sweat, shower to get your skin clean and prevent bacteria from attaching to you.

6. K is for kegel. Speaking of exercising, if you don’t know how to do kegel exercises, you’re really missing out on the magic of your pussy. There are devices (such as ben wa balls) that can help you to tighten and strengthen your pussy walls, or you can just use the same motion you would use to contract your muscles to keep you from urinating on yourself.  Seriously.  It’s that simple. Contract, release, contract, release. It’s the exercise you can do anywhere without anyone even knowing. Do it while sitting, standing in line, getting a pedicure, driving your car, updating your status on Facebook or talking on the phone. I did thirty while typing this paragraph.

7. Eat your fruit and veggies. “You are what you eat”  has never been truer.  Even if you’re not vegetarian or vegan, it’s a good practice to consume a lot of servings of fruit and vegetables to help keep your pussy magical.  Some fruit and veggies (and a few dairy) that are highly recommended include cranberries, sweet potatoes, kimchi, greek yogurt, apples, avocados, leafy greens (kale, chard, spinach, collard greens), guava, kiwi, oranges, lemons, pineapples, green bell peppers, broccoli, carrots and strawberries.  Minimally processed soy products including edamame, tofu, miso and tempeh are really good for women over the age of 40.  In addition, fish that contain omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, mackerel, herring, albacore tuna, lake trout, sardines) and oysters are very good for your pussy. No, they don’t make you smell like fish, regardless of what that clown dude you dated told you. If you have a fishy odor coming from your pussy, please refer to #1 on this list immediately.  Garlic and nuts are also good for keeping your pussy magical. Just be mindful with garlic, because too much of it can seep out of your pores and sweat, which can make you smell like garlic. Avoiding a lot of processed and sugary foods also helps improve the smell and health of your pussy. Eat some dark chocolate when you want sugar.  Reach for plain or flavored black tea or kombucha instead of pop or carbonated sugary drinks.

8. Drink half of your body weight in ounces of water DAILY, no matter what other beverages you consume. Never skip water to have a beer, wine, coffee or a smoothie. Water is life. Drink it filtered if you don’t like the “taste” of tap water. Drink it room temperature for easier digestion and start your day with one glass when you wake up in the mornings. Water also reduces your water weight, which reduces bloating during your period.  If you consume water more than any other beverage you will have magical pussy.  Plus it’s a good excuse to practice your kegels.  Add fresh lemon and/or ginger and/or mint to one or two of those glasses of water each day.  This combination consumed cold, room temperature or as a hot tea has many benefits, including helping to reduce body fat, reduce pain and swelling in your limbs and reduce muscle soreness (after exercising). The fact that it helps keep your pussy at its most magical is a bonus gift from nature.

9. Masturbate. Do I really need to explain this? If you don’t know how magical your pussy is firsthand (pun intended), you will easily fall for any trap, scam or sponsored ad telling you that it needs to be fixed because it’s not good enough the way it is. If you don’t masturbate you won’t know what your own pussy is supposed to feel like, so you won’t notice any changes to it that you should.  Masturbate so you know if those kegels are working. Masturbate so you’ll know what you like sexually and what you don’t (men could use some instructing at times). Masturbate so that you will know why they want you to believe that your pussy isn’t already magical. You can’t be fooled into thinking it’s not something perfect and special when you’ve held the proof of its power in your own hands.  And if you need help finding something to make you more comfortable with masturbation, check out these options from Lelo (kind of a paid endorsement) that I have tested personally. 

10. Use condoms when having sex with men who are not your husband. This goes back to my aunt telling me not to let dirty men touch mine. Sadly more and more men want to use condoms less and less, while they are out here being community dick. As a result they are both catching and spreading STDs and bacterial infections to all the women they are having sex with. Dick isn’t magical, entitled men just want women to think it is.  Dick isn’t self-cleaning or life bringing. If a dick gets dirty it needs immediate medical attention and lots of antibiotics.  As a result, any pussy it touches while dirty will need medical attention and antibiotics also. Condoms also limit the exchange of oxytocin during sex, which is the hormone that can trick you into thinking that community dick was special, when it really wasn’t. Men sleep with whoever they can (usually anyone available at that moment) and confident women only sleep with who they want to.  So choose your sexual partner carefully, don’t play with community dick and make all dicks who don’t put diamonds on your fingers, provide for and protect you, use condoms every time.

That’s it. You don’t need glitter or steaming or rejuvenation. Spend that money on a vacation somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Now go forth, and embrace your magical pussy, naturally and safely.

The Carters

They did it again.

Jay Z and Beyonce have excellently executed a brilliant work of art and imagery for the world to witness.

This isn’t the first time, yet it’s interesting to see how some people seem to think that it is.

Both Jay Z and Beyonce are strong artists in their genres and make a great team when performing together. They compliment and elevate each other flawlessly, on stage and off. They are #goals… in my personal opinion. You may disagree, but I won’t care.

I sat in my rented condo in South Beach, Miami recently, and I listened to “pop culture subject matter experts” on a popular day time television show, speak of how Everything Is Love was everything from a visual reenactment of Jay Z and Beyonce’s past marital issues, and proof that Beyonce doesn’t need Jay Z and she should have released another solo project instead, to how neither of them have been on tour in years. Clearly these three show hosts had very short memories, and an unknowledgeable show producer, because both Jay Z and Beyonce have had very successful individual tours just in the last two years. Beyonce toured for Lemonade throughout 2016 and Jay Z toured for 4:44 in 2017.  It’s 2018 and they are now touring together for OTRII, which they began prior to the release of Everything Is Love. Again, I don’t know who the producer of this show was, but they haven’t been fact checking very well. In an interview with the New York Times (November 2017), Jay Z stated that he and Beyonce had worked on a joint project together and decided to delay the release of it until after their individual projects were released.

News Flash: Everything Is Love IS that joint project.

There are levels to this. 

Beyonce and Jay Z marketed the release of their joint project subliminally and strategically. They are relevant enough and have the longevity to do so, while not disappointing their fans in the process by keeping new music releases on the low. To new artists who see the success of this approach to releasing music, I say, do not try this at home. As a new artist, you must first build a loyal fan base of consistently paying customers before you can “surprise” them with new music or impromptu free performances (such as J. Cole and Bruno Mars). There’s levels to this. By skipping ahead to what you see more established artists doing without putting in the same type of work to build a strong foundation for yourself, you are risking more than necessary.

There are many things that can be learned about social media marketing, cinematography and performance value from Beyonce and Jay Z for those who are paying attention and seeking the knowledge. They are methodical and have mastered the fine art of “don’t talk about it, be about” in a very impressive and entertaining fashion. They are a well written dissertation in motion, particularly for those who have the desire to advance in entertainment and music careers. If studied, the levels they elevate to can give you a degree that no university can offer.

I’m inspired.

I’m excited to see what The Carters will give us next.

In the meantime, everything is love.

Relationship Goals

There’s been a lot of cute memes and videos circulating on the internet with #RelationshipGoal(s) examples. Everything from hugging and holding hands, to being handcuffed and wearing matching shoes. Being a woman who has had a multitude of bad relationships that included hugging, holding hands, wearing matching shoes and the occasional handcuffs (please reference some of my blogs or short stories if you don’t know what I mean), those things just aren’t a relationships priority for me.

Although the idea of a relationship lasting for a decent period of time is a foreign concept for me, if I were ever afforded the opportunity to have a healthy, successful partnership with a man who loves and respects me, my relationship goals would include honesty, communication, building wealth and leaving a legacy behind for our grandchildren. We can have great sex, of course, and dress nice, live a comfortable lifestyle, travel and such, however having mutual respect, admiration and support for each other’s professional endeavors, talents, ideas and ambition would be what separates the good from the best, in the way that I view a successful relationship for myself now.

Having someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself in spite of what others say about you, can make a difference in your self esteem as well as in your bank account balance.
Someone who encourages you to take care of yourself, mentally, physically and emotionally, so that you can look and feel good, as well as combat stress that comes from obstacles you can’t control, can be the difference between you being happy and having a heart attack. Having someone who respects your sacrifices and struggles to grow within your purpose, instead of someone trying to change who you are to fit their agenda, can be the wind beneath your wings.

But that’s not how a lot of people view relationships anymore.

A lot of people look at relationships as something they need to make them whole and happy. That isn’t the case. Relationships are meant to enhance who you already are and increase the happiness you that already have as an individual. Seeking happiness from someone else in a relationship will not make you a whole person. And if, because it happens, the relationship ends, then what do you do? Sadly, some people resort to extremes because they can’t let go of the person they believed made them happy. That’s not healthy for anyone involved.

A lot of people also hold a lot of bitterness when their relationships end. It’s normal. It’s human. But you have to let it go so that you can move forward and have the opportunity to do it better the next time around. Try to refrain from wishing ill towards someone when the relationship ends. That only creates a void within yourself. When you genuinely care for someone else you want them to be happy, healthy and whole, not because of you, but even without you around.

I’ve always admired power couples. Personally that is what I’d like to have if and/or when I get involved with someone again (yes I’m cynical about the possibilities. Again, reference my past blog posts).  Power couples are typically two separately successful individuals who come together and complement each other’s drive, ambition, talent, focus, etc. etc. etc. There are thousands of said power couples in the world. Some more successful and popular than others, but all equally beautiful to me.

These couples probably wouldn’t have the relationships they have if they depended solely upon each other for their success or their happiness. They came to the table as two people with a lot to offer as individuals and saw that in each other, made a decision to combine together and grow towards something they wanted. That is what I think it takes to reach your #relationshipgoals.

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Embrace Reality

Never in a million years did I expect my life to turn out as it has. Five years ago I just wanted to write a book and not be told what I should write about. Today, I have a lot of “titles” behind my name related to what I have accomplished. I’m a blogger, I have written articles, I have had articles written about me. I’m being contacted to speak at events, attend events, cover events as a member of the media. In a few days I will share a magazine cover with two other amazing professional women. I was recently contacted by one of the leading social media platforms because they want to feature my professional profile.

People want to take pictures of me and take pictures with me. Every time I look up someone is stealing my company logo to use for some purpose completely unrelated to Super Woman Productions and Publishing and I must have it removed for trademark infringement. I’ve met so many celebrities, I’m already starting to lose count, and I have yet to meet Oprah. My radio show, The FabLife Radio Show is completing its first year of broadcasting online in a few short days. We’re celebrating with a Google On Air Hangout. I’ve been honored to have over fifty celebrity and subject matter experts give me a few moments of their time for live interviews. I get so many invitations to events that I have to decline the majority of them because my schedule is constantly full and I lose sleep as a result. This isn’t what I imagined at all. This wasn’t my goal five years ago, ten years ago or when I was a child.

This is better.

I woke up one day and realized that the difficulties I have had adjusting to my changed environment are because of my desire to have something that isn’t for me. I wanted to be married with children. I felt that being in a relationship was very necessary for me to have complete happiness and fulfillment in my life. Now I answer to the name Super Woman like it’s my government name. And I’ve learned to let go of what I thought I was supposed to be, and supposed to have, and embrace what and who I am. Along the way, I have back slid. I’m person enough to admit it. But the more I accomplish, the more I’m realizing that what is mine, is not for me or anyone else to question, agree with or even understand. This isn’t the life I planned for myself.

This is better.

Sometimes in life we’re unhappy because we want a fantasy. Everyone’s fantasy is different. Some people may want to be professional athletes but incapable of throwing or catching a ball. Some people may want to be a professional model so they post selfies of themselves online all day, just hoping to get discovered. Just like everyone can’t be a doctor, everyone can’t be a celebrity. I wanted to be married. It was the one thorn in my side. I was feeling pressured to be in a relationship because I’m approaching 40 and everyone I know and love are married and happy. So after one last unsuccessful attempt at a commitment, I realized that my fantasy would not bring me happiness or make me complete. If anything it seemed to cause drama. Wake up call: Marriage is not included in the life that I’m meant to have.

This life is better.

I’m much too busy for a committed relationship. Being in entertainment has its own level of complications that will only distract me from my short and long-term goals. Add marriage into the equation and it could be very stressful. It takes a special kind of person to deal with what I do and how busy I am. That’s not going to slow down anytime soon. Each year gets busier and busier for me. I’ve even had married people tell me that I don’t need a husband, I just need to date men with money and make sure they understand their role isn’t to try to change my relationship status; but to keep me company when I need them to. Don’t get me wrong. Just because marriage isn’t for me, that doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in the value of it. I love to see people in love and loving one another. It’s a beautiful thing. But in my life, I’m married to me, and the Super Woman Brand. And what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

If there is something in your life you feel that you need to have to be happy and whole, I encourage you to reexamine it today. Determine is it a fantasy or a goal. Goals can be accomplished by working towards them. Fantasies can’t. Goals lead to other goals. Fantasies don’t. Are you pretentious? Are you living a false existence because you have a fantasy of a life you want based on material possessions or what you see celebrities having or doing? Keep in mind that to whom much is given, much is also required. You will always have to trade or lose something to make a fantasy come to fruition. But if you find out what your reality is, embrace it and learn to maneuver in it, you can be extremely happy no matter what happens. All of that wishing for something else is keeping you from having the success you could have.

Learn to love your reality, instead of wishing for your fantasy. All the time you put into the latter wastes time you could be spending enjoying your life in all of its glory.

This isn’t the life I thought I’d have. But I’m glad it’s my life. It’s my reality.

A Disturbance In The Force

It always amazes me how you can know a person for a very long time, then wake up one day and realize that you barely know them at all. Then there are the people who, no matter how much time or distance is between you and them, they ALWAYS know when something isn’t right with you or in your world. During those instances when someone or something has disrupted my flow or thrown something in my life out of balance, even slightly, Super Son will say “I sense a disturbance in the Force“, which for those of you familiar with Star Wars (1977), you know that is in reference to a classic line said by Obi Wan Kenobi. It may be my body language, my tone of voice or my overall mood he’s picking up on, but he’s rarely incorrect. Right now, there is definitely a disturbance in the Force.

Everyone has a least one person with the innate ability to access when you’re not 100% yourself or at your best. Everyone has that one person who is in tune with them to the degree that they can easily sense a disturbance in your Force. Whether you had a hard day at work, encountered a difficult person in the grocery store (it can’t just be me) or had a disagreement with someone you love. That ability is also referred to as empathy. It is completely natural, but not often utilized in our society because we’re often too self-centered to notice what others may be dealing with.

Lack of empathy is why some people are so quick to say that people should “get over” the verdict in the Zimmerman trial, because it wasn’t their child that was murdered. Lack of empathy is why some people are able to watch an elderly man being brutally beaten at a gas station and not make any attempt to help him or even dial 911. Lack of empathy is why some people don’t have any respect for human life. Until…they become a victim and want someone to help them.

Being empathetic towards others doesn’t make a person appear weak. If anything we have the capacity for empathy because it makes us stronger. Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for a brief period of time, can actually help you to make better decisions for yourself longterm. Knowing, even through empathy, what it is like to lose a child, a spouse or a parent can improve how you deal with others in a similar situation. Knowing, even through empathy, what it is like to have cancer, depression, dementia or even a broken heart, can help you to help others, and yourself, in the same or similar situation. Knowing, even briefly through empathy, someone else’s struggle, pain or tragedy makes for a more compassionate and understanding human being and human experience. I think we could all use a little more empathy in our lives.

This disturbance in the Force that I’m experiencing will soon be resolved and I’ll be back to my normal. Nothing lasts forever and I’m very resilient. Plus I have a lot of positive distractions I can focus my energy on. But now I know what this feels like and so does Super Son. Now, if a day ever comes and he goes through a similar experience, he will likely have this time to reference back to in order to help him through his disturbance. And may the Force be with him.

 

 

 

 

What I Learned In Therapy

I completed my relationship therapy. *Happy Dance* Now I’m a lot more comfortable with everything going on in my life. I’m more comfortable being single. I’m more comfortable doing business with men. I’m more comfortable with who I am. Although I had a fear of being alone, in the end there isn’t anythingwrongwith me. In fact, my career is my “husband” for now; and contrary to what others may think, right now my career treats me very well. It doesn’t lie to me. It doesn’t cheat on me. It doesn’t blame me for its problems. It gives me a warm glow that people find attractive. It puts a smile on my face and gives me something to look forward to. Sounds like I’m already in a good, healthy and fulfilling relationship.

I still don’t like or appreciate people who are dishonest. But that just shows that I have character and will not allow people to insult my intelligence with their lies. I’m still hardworking and ambitious to a fault, but I’ve learned that it is perfectly fine for me to enjoy my mini-accomplishments just as much as I enjoy my BIG ones. I discovered that is okay for me to occasionally pat myself on the backmean it and not apologize for it. I just needed confirmation from someone on the outside looking in, with a truly unbiased viewpoint, who would not tell me what they thought I wanted to hear, that I am not “crazy”, “insecure”, “delusional” or “full of trust issues” that are “preventing me from having good relationships”. In fact, I’m not the person with the problem at all. I just don’t believe in unicorns, and I refuse to allow others to convince me that unicorns exist when I’m well aware that they do not.

I like reality. I accept change. I embrace the truth, no matter how painful.

I’m just fine, regardless of what other people, who believe in unicorns, may think.

Now I’ve spread my wings even more. I now have my radio show called The FabLife Radio Show. The first week’s show that aired on Friday, October 12 had almost 400 listeners (at last count). *Happy Dance* This week I’d like to see that number increase tremendously. But even if it goes to just 401, I’ll still be happy. And I think all of my Super Fans for making those numbers possible. {Make sure you check out the current Super Fan Offers for my token of appreciation}

I had to let some things and people “go” in the last few days. I just don’t have the time or patience for people who don’t see the BIGGER picture. I like forward thinking people. Those are the people I want to collaborate and do business with. Those are the people who understand growth and marketability. During my therapy I learned that having realistic standards is a good thing. I learned that listening to your instincts is a good thing. I learned that having goals is a good thing. And I learned that along this path in life, there will be many times when others just won’t understand that. I learned that as a result, I have to be ready to say “good-bye” and sometimes “good riddance” to those people, in order to allow people who do understand to have the opportunity instead.

It’s actually very simple when you think about it. 

So I’m forging ahead. I have a great deal of work ahead of me and a great deal of success to enjoy. God speed to those I had to leave behind, cut ties with and delete. I hope that they will find their way to whatever they are searching for in life… It just won’t be with me.

 

~ When you truly know your worth, you don’t need to lower your standards to make others happy. If they can’t step up, tell them to step aside. #MogulMindset – Super Woman