Tag Archives: lifestyle

P*ussy Is Already Magical

First it was vaginal rejuvenation, then it was vaginal steaming, now it is vagina glitter.

What the entire f….

All of these products and services doctors are warning women to stay away from because they can be very harmful to women and our reproductive systems. Not to mention they are completely unnecessary to our vaginal health. They are constantly trying to tell us women we’re unworthy and need to fix our vaginas or other physical attributes.  And for what?  So they can get our money (women have a combined $5.2+ Trillion dollars in buying power), damage our bodies (glitter in your pussy is dangerous for so many common sense reasons), lower our self esteem (because if we love ourselves we must be stupid) & make us compete with each other for the attention of men (who wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for our pussies to begin with).

#issatrap

There’s this silent but deadly war against women’s reproductive systems being waged and only noticed when the topic of abortion comes up. This selling of rejuvenation, steaming and glitter for women, is the part of that war that no one notices; the fake out marketing of unhealthy products that tells women tofix your pussy”I love all things shiny, pretty and shimmery, but I will not put herbs, lasers or glitter bombs in my pussy.

I want to know where the penis rejuvenation, steam and glitter products are for men? Oh, wait, that’s right, they don’t exist because men’s penises are ‘perfect the way they are’ in spite of the number of men who never go to the doctor. Not to mention all the community penises out here that need to be rejuvenated, fixed and altered that are sliding into women’s DMs daily that should be kept hidden.

Men don’t have the most beautiful penises, but they’re not targeted to get them fixed, changed or altered nearly as much as women are.  Men get to choose what they want to do with their penises, but women need “permission” from their husband, doctor, priest or some member of society (usually a male politician) to decide what to do with their own vagina.

I read an article published on blackdoctor.org and and I’ve seen a lot of other articles recently about doctors warning against vaginal steaming and rejuvenating, and about how much money companies have made off both. It saddens me how gullible some women are when it comes to our vaginas. Pussy is already magical. These steam and rejuvenating entities are making nearly as much money as companies selling legitimate feminine products are, from trying to convince women that our pussy is “wrong”.

Pussy brings life into the world. You can’t get more magical than that. 

I was partially raised by my aunt who was a RN (Registered Nurse, for those stuck on Urban Dictionary for their vocabulary) and even back then everything she taught me about my vagina is exactly what my OB/GYN says about it today:

Wash with mild soap and water, don’t put dirty things in it, don’t let dirty men touch it.

So simple.

These processes and products for vaginas are not beauty products. They’re not feminine care or feminine hygiene products either. They are a scam to get women to hate the way their vaginas look and feel.  There are so many natural  and healthy ways to clean, rejuvenate and shimmer your vaginas that don’t require sitting on pots with herbs, inserting capsules with glitter and going into plastic surgeons’ offices.

To help  women who don’t know any better, here are 10 ways to keep your pussy magical without causing it unnecessary harm, in no particular order.  Feel free to share with others who need to know.

1 . Get a regular physical exam from your OB/GYN that includes a pelvic exam, pap smear and STD screening. Visiting your doctor is vital to keeping your pussy magical and it helps other women in the community by decreasing the potential spread of bacterial infections and STDs due to sharing sexual partners over time. Even if you’re celibate, getting your pelvic exam and pap smear is necessary because you want to detect and avoid issues such as fibroids and cancer. Consider diseases and cancer as zombies trying to suck the magic from your pussy. If they aren’t slain, they will spread.

2. Wash your hands before your touch your pussy, and after. Germs are spread from hand contact more than kissing. Carry a small pack with your feminine hygiene products, vaginal washes/wipes, hand sanitizer (low alcohol and quick drying) and hand soap with you so that you will be less likely in need of them in public restrooms or at work.  Door knobs, handles and dispensers all have someone else’s germs on them. You don’t want those strangers’ germs getting into your magical pussy.

3. Wash your pussy with mild soap and water. The soap you use to wash your hands isn’t necessarily the best soap to wash your pussy with. Neither is the soap you use on your face due to the age defying, acne preventing ingredients etc. etc. that are in a lot of them. Invest in something milder to use to keep your pussy magical. One of my favorites is from The Honey Pot (BTW, this is not a paid endorsement, but it should be).  The Honey Pot is sold in Target stores nationwide. If you visit their website they have a store locator for those who don’t want to shop online and wait for delivery.

4. Use feminine hygiene products related to your period as recommended. Don’t leave tampons or cups inside of your pussy longer that the timeframe listed on the packaging. Toxic Shock Syndrome is a thing. From what I understand it isn’t a good thing either, so don’t keep tampons in for 8 hours if they should be changed every 4. If you’re a traveler like I am, and you know it’s going to be difficult to change your tampon on a plane or train, or in an automobile, Soft Cups are an alternative because they can be worn longer (again, not a paid endorsement, but it should be).

5. Exercise yourself into a good sweat and do it more than once a month. I don’t want to preach about women needing to get more exercise, but a lot of us do.  A regular, consistent, exercise routine is good for anyone.  Sweat from exercising is good for your pussy. It has pores on the outside of it just like the skin you have everywhere else. Sweat is detoxifying. Your pussy also has blood circulating around it and exercising helps to keep your blood flowing properly throughout your body. After you sweat, shower to get your skin clean and prevent bacteria from attaching to you.

6. K is for kegel. Speaking of exercising, if you don’t know how to do kegel exercises, you’re really missing out on the magic of your pussy. There are devices (such as ben wa balls) that can help you to tighten and strengthen your pussy walls, or you can just use the same motion you would use to contract your muscles to keep you from urinating on yourself.  Seriously.  It’s that simple. Contract, release, contract, release. It’s the exercise you can do anywhere without anyone even knowing. Do it while sitting, standing in line, getting a pedicure, driving your car, updating your status on Facebook or talking on the phone. I did thirty while typing this paragraph.

7. Eat your fruit and veggies. “You are what you eat”  has never been truer.  Even if you’re not vegetarian or vegan, it’s a good practice to consume a lot of servings of fruit and vegetables to help keep your pussy magical.  Some fruit and veggies (and a few dairy) that are highly recommended include cranberries, sweet potatoes, kimchi, greek yogurt, apples, avocados, leafy greens (kale, chard, spinach, collard greens), guava, kiwi, oranges, lemons, pineapples, green bell peppers, broccoli, carrots and strawberries.  Minimally processed soy products including edamame, tofu, miso and tempeh are really good for women over the age of 40.  In addition, fish that contain omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, mackerel, herring, albacore tuna, lake trout, sardines) and oysters are very good for your pussy. No, they don’t make you smell like fish, regardless of what that clown dude you dated told you. If you have a fishy odor coming from your pussy, please refer to #1 on this list immediately.  Garlic and nuts are also good for keeping your pussy magical. Just be mindful with garlic, because too much of it can seep out of your pores and sweat, which can make you smell like garlic. Avoiding a lot of processed and sugary foods also helps improve the smell and health of your pussy. Eat some dark chocolate when you want sugar.  Reach for plain or flavored black tea or kombucha instead of pop or carbonated sugary drinks.

8. Drink half of your body weight in ounces of water DAILY, no matter what other beverages you consume. Never skip water to have a beer, wine, coffee or a smoothie. Water is life. Drink it filtered if you don’t like the “taste” of tap water. Drink it room temperature for easier digestion and start your day with one glass when you wake up in the mornings. Water also reduces your water weight, which reduces bloating during your period.  If you consume water more than any other beverage you will have magical pussy.  Plus it’s a good excuse to practice your kegels.  Add fresh lemon and/or ginger and/or mint to one or two of those glasses of water each day.  This combination consumed cold, room temperature or as a hot tea has many benefits, including helping to reduce body fat, reduce pain and swelling in your limbs and reduce muscle soreness (after exercising). The fact that it helps keep your pussy at its most magical is a bonus gift from nature.

9. Masturbate. Do I really need to explain this? If you don’t know how magical your pussy is firsthand (pun intended), you will easily fall for any trap, scam or sponsored ad telling you that it needs to be fixed because it’s not good enough the way it is. If you don’t masturbate you won’t know what your own pussy is supposed to feel like, so you won’t notice any changes to it that you should.  Masturbate so you know if those kegels are working. Masturbate so you’ll know what you like sexually and what you don’t (men could use some instructing at times). Masturbate so that you will know why they want you to believe that your pussy isn’t already magical. You can’t be fooled into thinking it’s not something perfect and special when you’ve held the proof of its power in your own hands.  And if you need help finding something to make you more comfortable with masturbation, check out these options from Lelo (kind of a paid endorsement) that I have tested personally. 

10. Use condoms when having sex with men who are not your husband. This goes back to my aunt telling me not to let dirty men touch mine. Sadly more and more men want to use condoms less and less, while they are out here being community dick. As a result they are both catching and spreading STDs and bacterial infections to all the women they are having sex with. Dick isn’t magical, entitled men just want women to think it is.  Dick isn’t self-cleaning or life bringing. If a dick gets dirty it needs immediate medical attention and lots of antibiotics.  As a result, any pussy it touches while dirty will need medical attention and antibiotics also. Condoms also limit the exchange of oxytocin during sex, which is the hormone that can trick you into thinking that community dick was special, when it really wasn’t. Men sleep with whoever they can (usually anyone available at that moment) and confident women only sleep with who they want to.  So choose your sexual partner carefully, don’t play with community dick and make all dicks who don’t put diamonds on your fingers, provide for and protect you, use condoms every time.

That’s it. You don’t need glitter or steaming or rejuvenation. Spend that money on a vacation somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Now go forth, and embrace your magical pussy, naturally and safely.

Give Yourself Credit

I’ve always been intelligent and proud of it. Since I was a child I was a nerd and preferred compliments towards my brain and talents above anything else. I was never really the definition of pretty to a lot of people, but I could leave the board on Jeopardy and I flexed my brain.

For 2018 I set goals to learn more about myself and my industry so that I can be as successful as I truly want to be and can be. I have no interest in being what other people think or want me to be for their own agendas, therefore being good at using my God given talents is all I strive for. I want my business to be worth billions of dollars, I want to travel more, own more real estate and a plethora of other things that I have yet to experience. I want to accomplish all of my career and financial goals without needing to marry and possibly also divorce a rich man.

In order to accomplish my goals, I had to reach my own breaking point to realize my breakthrough. In the process, I learned that I know more than I have given myself credit for. I know more about film and television, the music business, the entertainment industry and myself as a woman than I thought I did. But there was this tiny piece of me that has been too worried about making people proud of me when those same people don’t know me, value me or even like me enough for me to care about what they think of me in the first place. Some of these people are relatives, some I thought were friends, some are merely associates. They are people who will never support my brand, my business, my goals or my decisions for my life. I don’t even care why because reasons are completely irrelevant now that I realize that I don’t need that energy in my life. They are nonfactors and no longer an attachment for me. The power I gave to them, I have reclaimed for myself. I have the power.

As I go into a new year, I have a new outlook on my life and the world, time and space that I occupy and what I truly want and need. The exact outcome is yet unknown but I won’t go backwards in search of what doesn’t help or serve me. I encourage you to take stock in yourself and give yourself credit for what you bring to the world, in spite of what other people say to or about you. Grow within yourself for yourself, not for other people’s approval or love. Reclaim your power. Use it to build your legacy and share it with your children.

You Winning or Naw?

Black Twitter is outraged at Amanda Seales, who portrays Tiffany DuBois on the hit HBO series “Insecure“, for pointing out a few of the ways in which you’re either winning or losing in life. I personally agree with her Tweets, particularly these:

Yes, that is a screenshot from my phone. Yes, that is my reply to her tweets.

If you’re mad at Amanda Seales’ tweets, welllllll…. do better, get out your feelings, then watch “Feel Rich” on Netflix. It’s a similar concept, but directed towards our health and eating habits versus our spending habits.

Fact: We spend too much money on the wrong shit, usually material possessions, because we’ve been taught a lie that we need that shit to feel good, look good, be successful, have sex, have friends and be happy.

Wake up.

After we buy that shit and we don’t feel better, look better or get anything else we were promised, we just go out and buy more shit, then complain about all the money we don’t have, so we can’t do things like travel, eat right, exercise or learn something new.

Wake up.

Improving yourself is possible at every income level. No excuses. No debate. You either want it or you don’t. But don’t get mad at the spoken truth. Don’t get mad at Amanda Seales because you think she’s talking about you. Get mad at yourself because YOU FEEL LIKE SHE’S TALKING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE DOING THE SHIT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT.

It’s true that a person’s life experiences (traveling for instance), are of greater value to their lives than buying material things (houses, shoes, cars), regardless of race, gender or socioeconomic level. And if you can afford Jordans you can also afford to travel simply by saving the money you would have paid to buy those Jordans.

“But traveling is too expensive, let me count the ways…”

Planes aren’t the only form of transportation. There’s MegaBus, Amtrak, Greyhound and they all cost less than a pair of Jordans. Google it. If you can’t afford a 5 star hotel, there’s AirBNB options that are affordable. Hell, I’ve used AirBNB and could afford a 5 star hotel, but I just like getting more bang for my buck when I travel. Let’s also keep in mind that Living Social and Groupon are in the travel business now and have great destinations and inexpensive deals.

Traveling can be spontaneous, but it can also be planned, like a goal, and give you something to look forward to, which is something that also adds value to your life. Look at places that interest you now, pick a place and save up for the cost, then go. You always plan on buying those Jordans, so you can plan a trip, too.

“Only rich, black people from the suburbs can travel and have passports.”

I’m from Detroit. Not Detroit adjacent, not Detroit proper. Detroit. Born, raised and educated. The “hood”, and I’m proud of it. I own 2 pair of basic Nike’s that retail for less than Jordans and I still bought them on sale, so they cost me less than $100 each. I own a passport. In 2016 alone I traveled away from my state by plane or car a total of ten times. In 2017, while at the airport, I enrolled in CLEAR. I’ve already paid for my hotel stay in Miami for my 7th trip there in 2018. I’ve also started my plans to return to New Orleans for Essence Fest in 2018, which has become an annual trip for the last 6 years, regardless of where else I go. I’ve been traveling since I was in the first grade, so maybe I’m not the typical black person from the hood. However, I’ve been more places than some people I know who make more money than I do and have more education than I do and live in suburban anywhere. I can honestly say I’m surprised by how many successful, affluent black people I’ve met that don’t travel, but own expensive shit. It would he nice if more black people in general set their priorities better and strived to do more than impress people by buying Nike’s or Louboutins, especially if the greatest distance they ever traveled was either on someone else’s dime or only one state away from home.

You can’t convince me that traveling is hard to do if you wear expensive shoes, that you waited on for months and stood in line for hours to buy. But if that helps you sleep at night and gives you a false sense of winning, by all means, enjoy yourself.

Personally I’d rather stand in line at TSA and at my designated gate…..but that’s just me winning.

Lead By Example….Or Fail

As much as I would love to say that every experience I have with other business owners is positive, that isn’t the case. Approximately 20% of the business owners I encounter are a terror to work with.  Sadly, they have no idea. They have the best of intentions, with the worst outcomes. They consistently do the same things and expect different results. When they don’t get the results they expect, all hell breaks loose. It would be easy to act like I don’t see the issues, but I’d be contributing more to the problem, than the solution if I sat silent.

Here are the top areas where business owners fail to lead by a positive example:

1. Communication Style: 

I constantly encounter individuals with poor communication techniques. They don’t know how to address situations in a positive way so everything becomes a misunderstanding or argument when you interact with them. They talk three times as much as they listen and you often have to repeat yourself to make your point, let alone gain their attention. These individuals are very difficult to work with and often aren’t very successful, because they don’t listen well and therefore, don’t learn much.

 

2. Checking Voicemail: 

In an age where we have the best technology available to us to communicate with each other right at our fingertips, many people don’t even know how to check their voicemail. Their voicemail is full. They don’t listen to any messages left for them. And God forbid they delete messages. What’s the point in having a voicemail, or a phone, if you’re never going to use the simplest function on it?  Not checking your voicemail and/or allowing your voicemail to fill up is the easiest way to lose customers and money. It’s unprofessional and no one is that busy. Not even me.

 

3. Surrounding Themselves with “Yes” People:

Look at your team and your staff. Is everyone afraid of you? Do they all agree with everything you say? Do they sit back while you make decisions and then mysteriously have a new job working elsewhere the next day? If so, you’re surrounded by “yes” people and you’re a poor leader because of it. If you don’t have someone on your team with the courage to challenge you when you aren’t making wise decisions, you don’t have a strong team. A real leader can accept constructive criticism, listens to sound ideas based on information and data and makes decisions that empower themselves and those who work for them.  A good leader knows they aren’t always the foremost authority and they seek guidance from others with different perspectives, experiences and knowledge bases. A good leader is responsible for the failures and successes of their brand, but knows they are likely to be more successful and fail less when they have strong, decisive people on their teams who may not always agree with them.

 

4. Having Unrealistically High Expectations of Others:

Everyone’s journey to success is different. What one person deals with may or may not be similar to someone else’s experiences. Some people also have it easier than others due to the factors in their lives; parenting, environment, lifestyle, finances, etc.  A person’s gifts and talents can be recognized and appreciated by others who have been in their shoes before them. Those who recognize someone else’s gifts can also motivate and encourage them towards their purpose in life and their career. However, there are some people who believe that whatever “level” they currently are on is the same level someone else should start at or aspire towards. That’s completely unrealistic. People need time and space to grow into their gifts, and that requires nurturing, understanding and sometimes it may also require leaving a person alone to learn on their own.

 

5. Putting All their Money on One Horse In the Race: 

This is also commonly referred to as “putting all of their eggs in one basket”. I use betting on a horse instead to further drive the example home. The trifecta in horse raising is when you bet on more than one horse in the race, to place first, second and third. When a person puts all their money on one horse in the race, they are solely dependent on that horse to win. If the horse doesn’t win, the person loses. Here’s an example in business terms:

You are an independent movie producer. You’re casting a production with lesser known or amateur actors and actresses. You want someone who will attract movie goers to see your film and help you recoup your $10 million dollar budget. You can either cast one successful actor/actress in a starring role in hopes of gaining their fans (betting on one horse) or you can cast three or more successful actors/actresses to costar in the film (hitting the trifecta) and gain all of their fans. 

Not only is the trifecta a better business decision, but you will also have talented individuals in roles that can help improve the quality of performances by your lesser known actors and actresses instead of expecting one big name star to carry the entire film on their own.

 

6. Name Droppers: 

There are a lot of people who brag about who they know and who they have or can work with. Big deal. Watch those individuals closely and see if the same people they name drop are actually involved in their business when it’s time for them to show up. Chances are great that they are not around when it matters most to the business owner user their name to impress you or others.  When a celebrity believes in you, your business or your brand, you don’t have to use their name to grow, because they’re telling people all about you.  They’re sharing what you post on social media. They are giving referrals to you. They are introducing you to people who may want or need what you have to offer. They endorse you without monetary compensation. They want to be connected to your brand on more than one occasion. Remember: you can take pictures with all the celebrities in the world, but if you’re difficult to work with, unprofessional or have any of these other negative traits, they aren’t going to be bothered with you. Celebrities have a lot of other opportunities they can take advantage of that are less stressful than dealing with you.

 

7. Fakers/Instafamers/Fronters 

The only thing I can think of that is worse than a name dropper is a person who is lives by the “fake it til you make it” credo. That once worked in our lives, but it has gone entirely too far. With the growth of social media, almost anyone can call themselves anything and create a facade of being someone they are not. You know the type.

The person who is always posting their money and material possessions on Facebook and Instagram and their entire following is based on them doing so. The person who is always at an airport, but not really going anywhere impressive or didn’t pay for the trip themselves.  The person who works extremely hard to discredit others who are actually working hard to get to where they are but not bragging about it all the time. The person who tries to attach themselves to more successful people in an effort to either use them or try to demean them to make themselves feel good. The person who is always talking about what they are going to do “one day/one year/next time”, but they never do. The person who gives shout outs to celebrities that they don’t have relationships with but want to “work with”.

I call these types of people The Coming Soons and what they are doing is commonly known as frontin’. If you don’t know at least one person that fits into this category, you’re probably the one that is guilty of this behavior. Frontin’ has become nearly an epidemic. The cure is karma because the person frontin is always discovered to be a fraud sooner or later.  It’s better to live a life of positive experiences and slowly grow into success, than surround yourself with material possessions (whether fake or on credit) to make others believe you’re a success. The latter has led to the death, demise and imprisonment of a lot of people.

I hope this gives you something to think about as you go into your day-to-day lives and careers interacting with people. You can’t really avoid meeting these types of people. The only things you can do is recognize them for who they are and try not to become like them yourself.

 

Stop Body Shaming

There’s too much fat/skinny shaming among women. Everywhere I look women are pointing out each others physical flaws; from Instagram to comments on websites and blogs, there is shade between women who are on either side of the weight scale.

Skinny vs. Plus Sized

I’m neither skinny or plus size, standing at 5’10” in a size 10 dress, size 12 (sometimes for comfort) jeans. I’m in the middle of the debate looking at both sides like Really? I wonder why we can’t just strive to be the HEALTHIEST version of ourselves, regardless of our varying body types or stereotypes associated with them? There are some ‘skinny’ women that can’t walk a half mile without becoming out of breath, just like there are some plus sized women that can run a mile effortlessly. There are people on both sides of the scale eating unhealthy and not getting enough exercise. Why not look in the mirror, go to your doctor and decide what’s best for you personally and work on that? For some women, getting healthier may result in weight loss (smaller), muscle gain (bigger or more toned), improved breathing, better stamina AND a more youthful appearance. And if any of that happens, don’t go sit on the other fence throwing shade and taking shots at other women because they are thinner or bigger than you are. I know what it’s like to be plus sized and struggling to lose the weight. Believe it or not, I had a medical condition at one time in my late 20s and I was a size 16. It took me over 2 years to lose weight and go to a size 12. The one thing I didn’t lose was something I have always had; the curves that create my booty and thighs. I learned to embrace those attributes, instead of making excuses for them or trying to minimize them. My thighs may not rub together as much as someone else’s, but they look good on me. My breasts may not be as big as someone else’s, but they also look good on me. My stomach may not be as flat as someone else’s but it looks good on me, and it’s looking better because I want it to, not because some magazine article, or pretend model on Instagram or a man who isn’t worthy of my attention told me I needed to change it. I’m working to make that personal change because a smaller waist helps me avoid a heart attack with all of the stress in my life and business. That’s my motivation at 40 years old – to avoid dying because of something preventable.

Exercise is for more than looking good.

Exercise reduces stress and the adverse effects of the daily traumas we experience when racists go out and shoot up churches, or people around us are losing jobs and hope. Exercise isn’t a badge you hold over your sisters head because she’s not with you at the gym. All of us as women, need to have better relationships with food, water, exercise, health, and each other. I encourage you to stop letting the Kardashians and other Instafamous nobodies tell you what you should look like, what to inject into or remove from your bodies. Instead, get to know the healthiest version of yourself, not to compete with other women, but because it’s going to improve the quality of your life.

Love yourself and be the healthiest you can, for your own quality of life and longevity. The healthier you are the more you’ll appreciate your individuality, regardless of your shape or size.

Get Into the Game

It’s the end of January. Thirty days have already passed in this New Year. 

What have you started that is going to take you where you’d like to be in your life or career? What have you completed that will move you one step closer towards your dreams? What have you continued to do better that is within your purpose? 

If you can’t answer those questions definitively today, you are losing valuable time. That goal you have, will not be attained with proactive action on your part. That dream you have for your future and your life will continue to haunt you until you begin to put in the necessary work to make it a reality.

Life is your Super Bowl! Life is your World Series! Life is your Championship Game! And you are the MVP. 

But you have to work towards it. Even the smallest step is better than taking no steps at all. Athletes train their entire lives to get the opportunity to play in the highly anticipated event in their field. Regardless of your industry, you should be willing to do exactly the same to play at the top level of your field.

Invest the necessary time, energy, money and passion into YOURSELF, so that you can be the best version of yourself that you share with the rest of the world.

Do you need additional encouragement to boost yourself? It’s right here and available to you. Tap into the services and products offered right here at Super Woman Productions and Publishing. Attend our events this year so you can become empowered and informed. Many of them will be online so that people worldwide can benefit from them. Stop talking about what you’re going to do one day, because one day is not a day of the week. Today is the day you start working towards making your dreams come to fruition.

Today is your Super Bowl. Get into the game.