Tag Archives: I Feel Good Mind Body and Soul Conference

Refocus and Stay Focused

After the dawn of a new year, with the Republican primaries and the birth of Jay Z and Beyonce’s baby girl, some people have already begun to lose focus on what is important. Of course the Republican primaries are very important; particularly because we need to know who will be running against President Barack Obama. But the birth of Jay Z and Beyonce’s daughter has been the entire focus of many individuals. Yes, they are pop culture and music icons. Yes, we love them dearly. Yes, they are entertainers who entertain and give back. But, seriously, some of it is going too far. There were already so many people doubting (and hating) on Beyonce’s pregnancy, that the mere act of turning on any entertainment television program gave me a near migraine headache. But now that she has given birth, people are still finding reasons to doubt (and hate). Now people want to know why she had a caesarean instead of a vaginal birth. People want to know why she had a midwife instead of an ob/gyn. People want to know did they really rent out the whole floor of the hospital to keep people from being nosey. Yet, these same people have probably not made any steps or headway towards achieving their own goals. Some of them probably haven’t set any goals at all.

Since I’m working on a major event for 2012 called the I Feel Good: Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference (∞), completing my first magazine article due to the editor in a few days (∞) and completing a television spec script (∞), I’m going to give you these words quickly, and then move on to my own tasks, goals and life.

I greatly admire Beyonce and Jay Z as people and entertainers. I often say that I’m a Beyonce looking for a Jay Z , because I admire their relationship and partnership. But I don’t let their lives consume mine. At the end of the day, what they do has very little baring on my life, goals or lack thereof. I have a laundry list of my own talents, issues and goals to focus on this year. Therefore,  if there is something you want to do, but it isn’t getting done, or if you are not achieving your goals, or if you are not improving your community, or yourself as a person, but you have time to decipher the alleged meaning of little Blue Ivy Carter’s name, you should immediately refocus your energy into your own direction and do something more positive for yourself. The same energy that is being put into playing word games with a child’s name and making assumptions about the origin of her name based on (in my opinion) fictitious religious beliefs, is the same energy that can be used to go back to school, start a business, mentor a child in need, volunteer at a nonprofit and many other useful and productive tasks. Jay Z and Beyonce are already multimillionaires and no amount of gossip or innuendo is going to change that. Instead, allow their work ethic and marriage to be motivational and encourage you to strive for higher heights. After all, some of you have named your children stranger names than Blue Ivy and no one referred to you as evil for doing so.

Smooches!

When You Know Better, You Do Better

I’m a champion for women’s empowerment. I believe we need to embrace our diversity, our beauty, our image and our sexuality. I believe we do not need to feel ashamed or embarassed by our differences. I believe we need to love ourselves because we are amazing. I believe that at every stage of growth in a young woman’s life she should be learning about herself so that she can grow to become the best woman she can possibly be. Sex is not dirty. Sex isn’t nasty. Sex is what allows all of us to exist – unless you exist by osmosis.

Having said that – this new craze of young women aged 18 – 22 posting pictures of their (literally) naked bodies all over Facebook is getting out of hand. Their only goal is to get more “friends” on Facebook. They want “celebrity” status overnight just for being naked. They aren’t selling a product or service that is related to sex. They are “wanna-be” models who for some strange reason think their behavior will lead directly to that. They are naked, just to be naked. They are showing as much skin as in any men’s magazine in a bookstore (adult or otherwise). I’m not kidding or exaggerating. The difference between them and the women in the men’s magazines is that the women in the men’s magazines aren’t doing it for free and they are often well over the age of 21. Does that matter? To a degree it does. The women in the men’s magazines have control over how they are seen. The have contracts and are allowed to make decisions about their poses, clothing, etc. They have managers and lawyers representing them and their images can’t be used without their permission. These young girls on Facebook don’t have that. They are “following” a sad trend because they obviously have a misconception about what it means to be a woman. And they’re doing it to get more Facebook “friends”.

These young girls aren’t singers, actors, or legitimate aspiring models. If you asked one to sing, she probably couldn’t hold a note. If you asked one who Shakepeare is, they’d probably say “some boring English guy”. They are misguided young girls. They are someone’s daughter, niece and sister. They are starved for attention so they feel like they need to garner attention in the vast world of social media, just so they can feel good about themselves. They don’t understand that with sex and sexuality comes responsibility, not just power. If you don’t utilize your power wisely as a sexual being, it can be stripped from you and used against you.

Maybe it’s just the society we live in now. People are more famous for having sex tapes and who they sleep with than they are for having actual talent [when someone has talent they get overlooked]. Everyone is pimping themselves out for fifteen minutes of fame. Then they do whatever is necessary to stay famous. I posted my vent onto my Facebook status today. One man said it is all the sex in the books the girls read and the tv they watch that is encouraging their behavior. I disagree. I write erotic fiction and not one of those girls has read my book. How do I know? If they had read my book, they would know that their “goodies” are only for their husband – not for strangers on Facebook. None of these girls are married women; they are barely out of high school as indicated by their birthdates. Any younger and what they are doing would be considered child pornography. Plus they are too busy taking pictures of themselves naked and posting them onto Facebook to watch any television. We can’t constantly blame the media for people’s actions and poor decisions. The media is just a reflection of what is going on in the world we live in.

And why isn’t the media covering this as a story? I can’t be the only person who sees this as a societal issue with  ramifications.

For two days in a row, I woke up to a girl’s butt in my news feed on Facebook. Yesterday, one girl had tagged about fifty or more people (men in particular) in her picture. She added the caption “add me up”, which means to make her your Facebook friend. She had less than 175 friends at the time. I sent a message to her and suggested that if she has aspirations in life that don’t include becoming a porn star, she might want to be more selective about which pictures of herself she decides to post. I also explained to her that a lot of people Google people prior to hiring them or deciding to do business with them, and that she will not be taken seriously if those are the pictures that people first see of her. She replied that she appreciated my concern, but she didn’t remove the pictures of herself. And she probably won’t. She thinks those pictures will open doors for her to become an overnight celebrity. She is wrong. I bet her parents aren’t her Facebook friends. I’m sure they have no idea what their daughter is trying to do while she’s supposed to be at college studying. And she’s not the only girl behaving in this manner. Everyday my news feed has several girls’ butts on it because my friends are getting tagged in these pictures and a lot of them don’t even know it. This is becoming a trend in social networking now. They even do it on Twitter. The difference is that Twitter will remove the pictures and Facebook will not – unless you are ME. If you are ME, Facebook will threaten to delete your account. But I digress.

This is one of the topics I plan to cover in the I Feel Good; Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference next year. I pray that God send good financial sponsors to partner with me in this endeavor. We have to take back our worth. We have to learn the difference between being a brand and being a joke. We have to show girls that we can control our image and how we are seen. We have to stop giving ourselves away in exchange for nothing that will nourish us as women. We have to think smarter, work together better and show girls that being a woman is not the sum of the size of your breasts and butts. We have to teach them that they don’t have to beg for attention from strangers in order to feel good about themselves. We have to do something. We have to do better.

When you know better, you do better.

To help sponsor the I Feel Good; Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference please email Super Woman at info@superwomanproductions.com with subject SPONSOR. You’ll be added to the sponsorship packet mailing list that will provide you with information about the conference and sponsorship options once the information becomes available.