Some days I am divided between the human woman that I am inside, and the superhuman woman I have become. The expectations are great. These are two conflicting sides always at battle for balance in my life. They need each other. They can’t survive without the other. They are co-dependant entities in one body with one entity born from the other. It’s not the same as having multiple or split personalities. It’s a dualism that a lot of people who are entertainers and creatives have. It’s that dualism that allows us to be “on” and able to entertain people one moment, and become quiet and shy the moment that curtain closes.
In spite of my internal struggle with my duality, I recognize that I’m so blessed to have friends around me. This keeps me from being “alone” in this world. I have very close, understanding friends that I have relationships with. Some of my friends I’ve known since high school. Some I’ve known only for a few weeks. Some are “super” women like Kimberly Swift, Charmaine Fuller, Kimberly Cooley and Regina Nyatui. Some are “super” men like Michael Burnett and Lloyd Parchment who are both intelligent, sexy, strong, good men that remind me that men like them do exist in this world. Without their perspective and encouragement to live my single life fully, I’d drown in heartache. There are a few more people that are on my list and they know who they are. They are the people outside of my bloodline that I can confide in and trust with my authentic self without fear of judgement. They make me laugh, comfort me when I cry and have an understanding of me as a person that others don’t. I trust that they won’t sale any stories to the tabloids and they always have my best interest in mind. They don’t allow me to fall and lay down. They don’t allow me to be right when I’m wrong. They know I’m crazy but they don’t discourage my brand of crazy because they know it has its benefits. They make me get up and keep going, even when I don’t feel like it. They remind me of my worth and never let me leave the house looking a hot mess. They protect me and I feel safe with them in my life. I don’t think they even realize the impact they have on my life. I pray that I can repay them for their unconditional friendship one day soon.
There’s a reason why these particular people are my friends and have outlasted many of my intimate relationships. To someone on the outside looking in, the friendships might seem like a fluke. I’ve had men I’ve dated even verbally challenge the strength and validity of my friendships because they couldn’t believe I have these amazing people in my life. Well, amazing people, have amazing friends. My friends are all different people with different personalities and different talents. My friends keep me balanced and they keep me sane. They help and encourage me to be Super and they still love me when I’m not. They give me tough love when I need it and allow me to be vulnerable also. Some of my friends are near me and some are far away. What demonstrates genuine friendship is that no matter how many days, weeks, months or years go by, with one phone call, we can catch up. The positive energy doesn’t vanish if we’re in different cities, timezones or states. I appreciate them for that. They are my heroes. Superheroes need heroes, too.
I will always need, love, appreciate and value them all, even the ones I didn’t name. I am ME because of THEM. I am Super Woman because I have Super Friends. If you want to know who I am, look at my closest friends. They are a direct reflection of me, and I of them.
What about your friends?