Tag Archives: happy

Comfort Levels

We all have an idea of what makes us comfortable; the ideal weather conditions for our favorite activities, the perfect temperature for our favorite beverages, the number of people in our inner circle. This is our comfort level. It is similar in theory to our comfort zones, but not quite the same. Comfort levels adapt more quickly based on external factors or experiences and it can be a positive experience. Our comfort zone is where we retreat to when those factors are not in agreement with what we want, or with what we think we want, and it’s often based on fears of the unknown.

My comfort level is changing. What was once something that made me happy has come to the point where it is no longer enough. I want more. It’s not enhancing my life, business or purpose. It has run its course and is coming to its conclusion. I have lived in the same city for forty years and I’ve spent the last seven years building my brand in this city. There is only so much I can accomplish in this location. So what am I to do since I recognize this?

Some people would be willing to fight to keep things exactly the same so that they wouldn’t have to concern themselves with the unknown. I am clearly not like some people. I’m very interested in finding out what the unknown has to offer. I want a challenge to learn from. I want to broaden my consumer base. I want to expand my network. I want to make more money. I want more opportunities. I want warmer weather. And the beautiful part is that I don’t have to dismantle my company to do it. Because I stepped out of my comfort zone years ago and made a decision to use technology to operate Super Woman Productions and Publishing, I can effectively remain in business in one city, and reside in another city that is more in line with my comfort level.

When and where this change will take place isn’t known as of yet, but the steps are being taken in the direction I want to go towards….and some bags and boxes are already packed. When the time comes I will be ready to accept the opportunities.

Has your comfort level changed?

Are you willing to step out of your existing comfort zone to be happier?

Beautiful People Don’t Need Stuff

This is just my opinion, but the most beautiful people aren’t the ones with the biggest houses, most expensive cars, designer shoes and handbags. The most beautiful people aren’t the ones with the most lavish lifestyles, who take spa days in the middle of the week at tropical destinations. The most beautiful people aren’t chronicled by People Magazine or by Barbara Walters once each year. The most beautiful people aren’t starring on Basketball Wives or Real Housewives of <insert city/county here>.

The most beautiful people in the world are happy people.

How does one correlate beauty with happiness? It’s not a hard connection to make when you consider it. When it comes to physical beauty, people who are happy tend to smile more, therefore, they have less wrinkles. People who are happy, enjoy life, get exercise and rest, therefore extending their longevity and youthfulness. People who are happy, and I mean truly happy, are less argumentative, less nosey and less petty resulting in them having lower stress levels. 

When it comes to happiness from a social standpoint, people who are happy with themselves as individuals as more successful and they are also more encouraging of others. People who are happy know that they aren’t the only people allowed to be happy. These happy people are the motivators, innovators and advocates for better living. They themselves may have gone through ups and downs, had adversity stare them in the face: they stared back and overcame it.

Happy people aren’t happy because they have money either. Happy people don’t live or work for money. Money is a by-product for them because they need it to survive in society, but it’s not their only motivation. Happy people also use their money for more than purchasing superficial material possessions. Some of the most miserable people have money and material possessions. They’re miserable because those material possessions only fuel one thing – the need for more material possessions. Don’t get me wrong – stuff is nice. Having stuff is nice. But life isn’t about stuff and how much of it you can accumulate before you die.

Life is about living.

We’ve gotten so caught up in accumulating stuff just to try to make other people jealous, that we’ve birthed a generation of entitled, spoiled, lazy children that think life is all about stuff. They haven’t been taught that happiness is a byproduct of good relationships. They don’t know that happiness is doing something you love and doing it well. They don’t understand that there are certain things expected of them that may not always make them happy today, but will make them productive in society so that they can pursue happiness with minimal hindrances tomorrow. Our youth lack self-love, self-esteem and, unfortunately, moral fortitude. They think being happy and beautiful means having stuff. They believe that designer labels and expensive cars determine the value of a person.  However, that’s not the reality of life.

Being beautiful on the outside may get you in the room, but being smart and talented will keep you in the room.

Being knowledgeable and driven will earn you respect. Having designer labels isn’t what it once was. You can buy a lot of designer labels from TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Burlington Coat Factory and one of my  personal favorites, Loehmann’s. And if you’re really smart, you know when the sales are and the best times of year to shop so you can really clean up. I’m not knocking designers, I own plenty of attire from many of them myself. I’m knocking the importance we put on having someone else’s name on our bodies, in our hands and own our feet every single day. So much of my designer clothing and footwear (I’m known for my “shoe-icide“) is considered nondescript. Most often you wouldn’t have any idea who I’m wearing unless I either told you, or you were a connoisseur of them yourself. Thus, making me look fashionable, without being trendy. I have my own style, and my own idea of what makes me beautiful.     

Being beautiful isn’t a personal goal for me. As a super girl growing up I didn’t say, “When I grow up I want to be beautiful”. It honestly didn’t cross my mind that I can recall. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to be wealthy. I wanted to have a family. But I don’t remember wanting to be beautiful. Even today, it’s not a goal of mine. My goals (all one hundred zillion of them) are more about me being happy – personally and professionally.  I receive compliments on my physical beauty on a daily basis. Compliments are flattering, but they don’t do anything for me. They affirm that my exercise routine is working and that I have good DNA. Other than that, compliments don’t go to my head. They don’t win anyone brownie points for giving them to me either. As beautiful as anyone may think I am, I’d like to think that they think I’m beautiful on the inside just as much, if not more so, than I am on the outside. Hopefully, they don’t attribute my beauty to how many material possessions I own (or don’t).  Hopefully, people find my intellect a quality that also makes me beautiful. Hopefully, they respect my craft and how hard I’m working to reach my goals. And if not, oh well, that’s their superficiality and their loss, not mine. When I die, I don’t want people to say “Super Woman was beautiful, but she didn’t have enough stuff. It would’ve been nice if she had more stuff“. When I die, I want people to say “Super Woman was beautiful, she gave of herself and her talents, and she was happy“.

 – The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” (Allan Chalmers)

Living Without Regrets

With everything that has transpired in my life recently, I can honestly say that I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret the relationships that went sour, I don’t regret the business risks or decisions I made, regardless of the outcome. I find a certain amount of indescribable peace in my life. I don’t know if it is a result of maturation, age, wisdom, or a combination of them. But I don’t regret a single second.

I’ve decided to grab opportunities and moments as they arrive. About two weeks ago, I met someone I was extremely attracted to. And with the full knowledge that time with him would be limited, I enjoyed every second I spent with him. And I did so without regret. I ended a relationship that was unhealthy and unproductive. It was short lived. I don’t regret enterting into that relationship and I don’t regret ending it. Recently a business opportunity has come my way. It makes sense and will have long term benefits for me. I’m taking advantage of the opportunity and I will do so without regret. Life is too short to not live. Life is also too precious to dwell on the bad decisions we make and live fearful of taking chances. God doesn’t grant us the spirit of fear. That’s not to say we shouldn’t be cautious or knowledgeable in our decision making process. But we only have a certain amount of control over what other’s do or don’t. Therefore, decisions made shouldn’t be based on what someone else will or won’t do, can or can’t do, said or didn’t say. Decisions should only be made based on what’s within you as an individual and what you know, think, feel and care about. Decisions should be based on your own character and agenda. Not someone else’s. That is how you guarantee that you live without regrets and live life fully. Don’t fear being open to change. Change is good. I’ve said before that it promotes growth. Change also isn’t always directed specifically at you. The change you experience may also be to benefit, adjust or impact someone else involved. When that happens you are being used as an instrument of change in the Master’s Plan. There’s nothing to regret about that.

I’ve got so many plans. Places to go, things to do and many people yet to meet. Everyone comes into your life for something. Although people don’t always enter your life for the right reasons, I’ve made a conscious decision to judge each person, male or female, based on their own merits, not those of others. Therefore, there isn’t any regret. If a person falls short,  it’s not due to me expecting them to fall short because of the previous person’s actions, or inaction. If a person disappoints me, it’s not because I expected them to disappoint me because the last person disappointed me. If the relationship dies, it won’t be because my last one did. I can’t change other people, I can only change how I react to and accept them. I can either accept them as they are or not deal with them at all. Either way, it is without regret.

Holding onto regrets doesn’t change the situation, change the past or set the future on a different path. Holding onto regret only burdens the holder. When you release  regret, you also release the fears that were born of those regrets. When you release that fear you live a more open, honest and forgiving life. Forgiveness begins within. If you can’t forgive yourself for the plans that went awry, the relationships that went to the left (to the left, everything you own in the box to the left) or the opportunities you let slip away, you will not be able to live your life to the fullest. You will always be shackled by those regrets. That’s not a purpose driven life. That’s not how I choose to live. I don’t expect everyone to understand what I mean in this post. Experiences are like noses – everyone has one and people make judgements based on their own. I personally have a peace of mind about everything that I do, have done and will do, as well as any experiences I have had –  good, bad or ugly. I don’t have any regrets.  

So today, I will relax, relate, release, renew, refocus and not regret.

Life is too beautiful to do anything other than that.