Tag Archives: exercise

P*ussy Is Already Magical

First it was vaginal rejuvenation, then it was vaginal steaming, now it is vagina glitter.

What the entire f….

All of these products and services doctors are warning women to stay away from because they can be very harmful to women and our reproductive systems. Not to mention they are completely unnecessary to our vaginal health. They are constantly trying to tell us women we’re unworthy and need to fix our vaginas or other physical attributes.  And for what?  So they can get our money (women have a combined $5.2+ Trillion dollars in buying power), damage our bodies (glitter in your pussy is dangerous for so many common sense reasons), lower our self esteem (because if we love ourselves we must be stupid) & make us compete with each other for the attention of men (who wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for our pussies to begin with).

#issatrap

There’s this silent but deadly war against women’s reproductive systems being waged and only noticed when the topic of abortion comes up. This selling of rejuvenation, steaming and glitter for women, is the part of that war that no one notices; the fake out marketing of unhealthy products that tells women tofix your pussy”I love all things shiny, pretty and shimmery, but I will not put herbs, lasers or glitter bombs in my pussy.

I want to know where the penis rejuvenation, steam and glitter products are for men? Oh, wait, that’s right, they don’t exist because men’s penises are ‘perfect the way they are’ in spite of the number of men who never go to the doctor. Not to mention all the community penises out here that need to be rejuvenated, fixed and altered that are sliding into women’s DMs daily that should be kept hidden.

Men don’t have the most beautiful penises, but they’re not targeted to get them fixed, changed or altered nearly as much as women are.  Men get to choose what they want to do with their penises, but women need “permission” from their husband, doctor, priest or some member of society (usually a male politician) to decide what to do with their own vagina.

I read an article published on blackdoctor.org and and I’ve seen a lot of other articles recently about doctors warning against vaginal steaming and rejuvenating, and about how much money companies have made off both. It saddens me how gullible some women are when it comes to our vaginas. Pussy is already magical. These steam and rejuvenating entities are making nearly as much money as companies selling legitimate feminine products are, from trying to convince women that our pussy is “wrong”.

Pussy brings life into the world. You can’t get more magical than that. 

I was partially raised by my aunt who was a RN (Registered Nurse, for those stuck on Urban Dictionary for their vocabulary) and even back then everything she taught me about my vagina is exactly what my OB/GYN says about it today:

Wash with mild soap and water, don’t put dirty things in it, don’t let dirty men touch it.

So simple.

These processes and products for vaginas are not beauty products. They’re not feminine care or feminine hygiene products either. They are a scam to get women to hate the way their vaginas look and feel.  There are so many natural  and healthy ways to clean, rejuvenate and shimmer your vaginas that don’t require sitting on pots with herbs, inserting capsules with glitter and going into plastic surgeons’ offices.

To help  women who don’t know any better, here are 10 ways to keep your pussy magical without causing it unnecessary harm, in no particular order.  Feel free to share with others who need to know.

1 . Get a regular physical exam from your OB/GYN that includes a pelvic exam, pap smear and STD screening. Visiting your doctor is vital to keeping your pussy magical and it helps other women in the community by decreasing the potential spread of bacterial infections and STDs due to sharing sexual partners over time. Even if you’re celibate, getting your pelvic exam and pap smear is necessary because you want to detect and avoid issues such as fibroids and cancer. Consider diseases and cancer as zombies trying to suck the magic from your pussy. If they aren’t slain, they will spread.

2. Wash your hands before your touch your pussy, and after. Germs are spread from hand contact more than kissing. Carry a small pack with your feminine hygiene products, vaginal washes/wipes, hand sanitizer (low alcohol and quick drying) and hand soap with you so that you will be less likely in need of them in public restrooms or at work.  Door knobs, handles and dispensers all have someone else’s germs on them. You don’t want those strangers’ germs getting into your magical pussy.

3. Wash your pussy with mild soap and water. The soap you use to wash your hands isn’t necessarily the best soap to wash your pussy with. Neither is the soap you use on your face due to the age defying, acne preventing ingredients etc. etc. that are in a lot of them. Invest in something milder to use to keep your pussy magical. One of my favorites is from The Honey Pot (BTW, this is not a paid endorsement, but it should be).  The Honey Pot is sold in Target stores nationwide. If you visit their website they have a store locator for those who don’t want to shop online and wait for delivery.

4. Use feminine hygiene products related to your period as recommended. Don’t leave tampons or cups inside of your pussy longer that the timeframe listed on the packaging. Toxic Shock Syndrome is a thing. From what I understand it isn’t a good thing either, so don’t keep tampons in for 8 hours if they should be changed every 4. If you’re a traveler like I am, and you know it’s going to be difficult to change your tampon on a plane or train, or in an automobile, Soft Cups are an alternative because they can be worn longer (again, not a paid endorsement, but it should be).

5. Exercise yourself into a good sweat and do it more than once a month. I don’t want to preach about women needing to get more exercise, but a lot of us do.  A regular, consistent, exercise routine is good for anyone.  Sweat from exercising is good for your pussy. It has pores on the outside of it just like the skin you have everywhere else. Sweat is detoxifying. Your pussy also has blood circulating around it and exercising helps to keep your blood flowing properly throughout your body. After you sweat, shower to get your skin clean and prevent bacteria from attaching to you.

6. K is for kegel. Speaking of exercising, if you don’t know how to do kegel exercises, you’re really missing out on the magic of your pussy. There are devices (such as ben wa balls) that can help you to tighten and strengthen your pussy walls, or you can just use the same motion you would use to contract your muscles to keep you from urinating on yourself.  Seriously.  It’s that simple. Contract, release, contract, release. It’s the exercise you can do anywhere without anyone even knowing. Do it while sitting, standing in line, getting a pedicure, driving your car, updating your status on Facebook or talking on the phone. I did thirty while typing this paragraph.

7. Eat your fruit and veggies. “You are what you eat”  has never been truer.  Even if you’re not vegetarian or vegan, it’s a good practice to consume a lot of servings of fruit and vegetables to help keep your pussy magical.  Some fruit and veggies (and a few dairy) that are highly recommended include cranberries, sweet potatoes, kimchi, greek yogurt, apples, avocados, leafy greens (kale, chard, spinach, collard greens), guava, kiwi, oranges, lemons, pineapples, green bell peppers, broccoli, carrots and strawberries.  Minimally processed soy products including edamame, tofu, miso and tempeh are really good for women over the age of 40.  In addition, fish that contain omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, mackerel, herring, albacore tuna, lake trout, sardines) and oysters are very good for your pussy. No, they don’t make you smell like fish, regardless of what that clown dude you dated told you. If you have a fishy odor coming from your pussy, please refer to #1 on this list immediately.  Garlic and nuts are also good for keeping your pussy magical. Just be mindful with garlic, because too much of it can seep out of your pores and sweat, which can make you smell like garlic. Avoiding a lot of processed and sugary foods also helps improve the smell and health of your pussy. Eat some dark chocolate when you want sugar.  Reach for plain or flavored black tea or kombucha instead of pop or carbonated sugary drinks.

8. Drink half of your body weight in ounces of water DAILY, no matter what other beverages you consume. Never skip water to have a beer, wine, coffee or a smoothie. Water is life. Drink it filtered if you don’t like the “taste” of tap water. Drink it room temperature for easier digestion and start your day with one glass when you wake up in the mornings. Water also reduces your water weight, which reduces bloating during your period.  If you consume water more than any other beverage you will have magical pussy.  Plus it’s a good excuse to practice your kegels.  Add fresh lemon and/or ginger and/or mint to one or two of those glasses of water each day.  This combination consumed cold, room temperature or as a hot tea has many benefits, including helping to reduce body fat, reduce pain and swelling in your limbs and reduce muscle soreness (after exercising). The fact that it helps keep your pussy at its most magical is a bonus gift from nature.

9. Masturbate. Do I really need to explain this? If you don’t know how magical your pussy is firsthand (pun intended), you will easily fall for any trap, scam or sponsored ad telling you that it needs to be fixed because it’s not good enough the way it is. If you don’t masturbate you won’t know what your own pussy is supposed to feel like, so you won’t notice any changes to it that you should.  Masturbate so you know if those kegels are working. Masturbate so you’ll know what you like sexually and what you don’t (men could use some instructing at times). Masturbate so that you will know why they want you to believe that your pussy isn’t already magical. You can’t be fooled into thinking it’s not something perfect and special when you’ve held the proof of its power in your own hands.  And if you need help finding something to make you more comfortable with masturbation, check out these options from Lelo (kind of a paid endorsement) that I have tested personally. 

10. Use condoms when having sex with men who are not your husband. This goes back to my aunt telling me not to let dirty men touch mine. Sadly more and more men want to use condoms less and less, while they are out here being community dick. As a result they are both catching and spreading STDs and bacterial infections to all the women they are having sex with. Dick isn’t magical, entitled men just want women to think it is.  Dick isn’t self-cleaning or life bringing. If a dick gets dirty it needs immediate medical attention and lots of antibiotics.  As a result, any pussy it touches while dirty will need medical attention and antibiotics also. Condoms also limit the exchange of oxytocin during sex, which is the hormone that can trick you into thinking that community dick was special, when it really wasn’t. Men sleep with whoever they can (usually anyone available at that moment) and confident women only sleep with who they want to.  So choose your sexual partner carefully, don’t play with community dick and make all dicks who don’t put diamonds on your fingers, provide for and protect you, use condoms every time.

That’s it. You don’t need glitter or steaming or rejuvenation. Spend that money on a vacation somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Now go forth, and embrace your magical pussy, naturally and safely.

Beautiful People Don’t Need Stuff

This is just my opinion, but the most beautiful people aren’t the ones with the biggest houses, most expensive cars, designer shoes and handbags. The most beautiful people aren’t the ones with the most lavish lifestyles, who take spa days in the middle of the week at tropical destinations. The most beautiful people aren’t chronicled by People Magazine or by Barbara Walters once each year. The most beautiful people aren’t starring on Basketball Wives or Real Housewives of <insert city/county here>.

The most beautiful people in the world are happy people.

How does one correlate beauty with happiness? It’s not a hard connection to make when you consider it. When it comes to physical beauty, people who are happy tend to smile more, therefore, they have less wrinkles. People who are happy, enjoy life, get exercise and rest, therefore extending their longevity and youthfulness. People who are happy, and I mean truly happy, are less argumentative, less nosey and less petty resulting in them having lower stress levels. 

When it comes to happiness from a social standpoint, people who are happy with themselves as individuals as more successful and they are also more encouraging of others. People who are happy know that they aren’t the only people allowed to be happy. These happy people are the motivators, innovators and advocates for better living. They themselves may have gone through ups and downs, had adversity stare them in the face: they stared back and overcame it.

Happy people aren’t happy because they have money either. Happy people don’t live or work for money. Money is a by-product for them because they need it to survive in society, but it’s not their only motivation. Happy people also use their money for more than purchasing superficial material possessions. Some of the most miserable people have money and material possessions. They’re miserable because those material possessions only fuel one thing – the need for more material possessions. Don’t get me wrong – stuff is nice. Having stuff is nice. But life isn’t about stuff and how much of it you can accumulate before you die.

Life is about living.

We’ve gotten so caught up in accumulating stuff just to try to make other people jealous, that we’ve birthed a generation of entitled, spoiled, lazy children that think life is all about stuff. They haven’t been taught that happiness is a byproduct of good relationships. They don’t know that happiness is doing something you love and doing it well. They don’t understand that there are certain things expected of them that may not always make them happy today, but will make them productive in society so that they can pursue happiness with minimal hindrances tomorrow. Our youth lack self-love, self-esteem and, unfortunately, moral fortitude. They think being happy and beautiful means having stuff. They believe that designer labels and expensive cars determine the value of a person.  However, that’s not the reality of life.

Being beautiful on the outside may get you in the room, but being smart and talented will keep you in the room.

Being knowledgeable and driven will earn you respect. Having designer labels isn’t what it once was. You can buy a lot of designer labels from TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Burlington Coat Factory and one of my  personal favorites, Loehmann’s. And if you’re really smart, you know when the sales are and the best times of year to shop so you can really clean up. I’m not knocking designers, I own plenty of attire from many of them myself. I’m knocking the importance we put on having someone else’s name on our bodies, in our hands and own our feet every single day. So much of my designer clothing and footwear (I’m known for my “shoe-icide“) is considered nondescript. Most often you wouldn’t have any idea who I’m wearing unless I either told you, or you were a connoisseur of them yourself. Thus, making me look fashionable, without being trendy. I have my own style, and my own idea of what makes me beautiful.     

Being beautiful isn’t a personal goal for me. As a super girl growing up I didn’t say, “When I grow up I want to be beautiful”. It honestly didn’t cross my mind that I can recall. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to be wealthy. I wanted to have a family. But I don’t remember wanting to be beautiful. Even today, it’s not a goal of mine. My goals (all one hundred zillion of them) are more about me being happy – personally and professionally.  I receive compliments on my physical beauty on a daily basis. Compliments are flattering, but they don’t do anything for me. They affirm that my exercise routine is working and that I have good DNA. Other than that, compliments don’t go to my head. They don’t win anyone brownie points for giving them to me either. As beautiful as anyone may think I am, I’d like to think that they think I’m beautiful on the inside just as much, if not more so, than I am on the outside. Hopefully, they don’t attribute my beauty to how many material possessions I own (or don’t).  Hopefully, people find my intellect a quality that also makes me beautiful. Hopefully, they respect my craft and how hard I’m working to reach my goals. And if not, oh well, that’s their superficiality and their loss, not mine. When I die, I don’t want people to say “Super Woman was beautiful, but she didn’t have enough stuff. It would’ve been nice if she had more stuff“. When I die, I want people to say “Super Woman was beautiful, she gave of herself and her talents, and she was happy“.

 – The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” (Allan Chalmers)