Tag Archives: embrace

Embrace Reality

Never in a million years did I expect my life to turn out as it has. Five years ago I just wanted to write a book and not be told what I should write about. Today, I have a lot of “titles” behind my name related to what I have accomplished. I’m a blogger, I have written articles, I have had articles written about me. I’m being contacted to speak at events, attend events, cover events as a member of the media. In a few days I will share a magazine cover with two other amazing professional women. I was recently contacted by one of the leading social media platforms because they want to feature my professional profile.

People want to take pictures of me and take pictures with me. Every time I look up someone is stealing my company logo to use for some purpose completely unrelated to Super Woman Productions and Publishing and I must have it removed for trademark infringement. I’ve met so many celebrities, I’m already starting to lose count, and I have yet to meet Oprah. My radio show, The FabLife Radio Show is completing its first year of broadcasting online in a few short days. We’re celebrating with a Google On Air Hangout. I’ve been honored to have over fifty celebrity and subject matter experts give me a few moments of their time for live interviews. I get so many invitations to events that I have to decline the majority of them because my schedule is constantly full and I lose sleep as a result. This isn’t what I imagined at all. This wasn’t my goal five years ago, ten years ago or when I was a child.

This is better.

I woke up one day and realized that the difficulties I have had adjusting to my changed environment are because of my desire to have something that isn’t for me. I wanted to be married with children. I felt that being in a relationship was very necessary for me to have complete happiness and fulfillment in my life. Now I answer to the name Super Woman like it’s my government name. And I’ve learned to let go of what I thought I was supposed to be, and supposed to have, and embrace what and who I am. Along the way, I have back slid. I’m person enough to admit it. But the more I accomplish, the more I’m realizing that what is mine, is not for me or anyone else to question, agree with or even understand. This isn’t the life I planned for myself.

This is better.

Sometimes in life we’re unhappy because we want a fantasy. Everyone’s fantasy is different. Some people may want to be professional athletes but incapable of throwing or catching a ball. Some people may want to be a professional model so they post selfies of themselves online all day, just hoping to get discovered. Just like everyone can’t be a doctor, everyone can’t be a celebrity. I wanted to be married. It was the one thorn in my side. I was feeling pressured to be in a relationship because I’m approaching 40 and everyone I know and love are married and happy. So after one last unsuccessful attempt at a commitment, I realized that my fantasy would not bring me happiness or make me complete. If anything it seemed to cause drama. Wake up call: Marriage is not included in the life that I’m meant to have.

This life is better.

I’m much too busy for a committed relationship. Being in entertainment has its own level of complications that will only distract me from my short and long-term goals. Add marriage into the equation and it could be very stressful. It takes a special kind of person to deal with what I do and how busy I am. That’s not going to slow down anytime soon. Each year gets busier and busier for me. I’ve even had married people tell me that I don’t need a husband, I just need to date men with money and make sure they understand their role isn’t to try to change my relationship status; but to keep me company when I need them to. Don’t get me wrong. Just because marriage isn’t for me, that doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in the value of it. I love to see people in love and loving one another. It’s a beautiful thing. But in my life, I’m married to me, and the Super Woman Brand. And what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

If there is something in your life you feel that you need to have to be happy and whole, I encourage you to reexamine it today. Determine is it a fantasy or a goal. Goals can be accomplished by working towards them. Fantasies can’t. Goals lead to other goals. Fantasies don’t. Are you pretentious? Are you living a false existence because you have a fantasy of a life you want based on material possessions or what you see celebrities having or doing? Keep in mind that to whom much is given, much is also required. You will always have to trade or lose something to make a fantasy come to fruition. But if you find out what your reality is, embrace it and learn to maneuver in it, you can be extremely happy no matter what happens. All of that wishing for something else is keeping you from having the success you could have.

Learn to love your reality, instead of wishing for your fantasy. All the time you put into the latter wastes time you could be spending enjoying your life in all of its glory.

This isn’t the life I thought I’d have. But I’m glad it’s my life. It’s my reality.


It is said that in order to rebuild something, first you have to tear it down. I’ve been feeling that lately. Anything that can go wrong, does. Every step I take leads me into a wall. Every investment I make fails to result in a return. Or so it seems as I look out the window of my world. No one can ever tell me that God  doesn’t have a sense of humor. He laughs at me regularly. He gives me hurdles and when I jump them, He makes the next ones higher, just to see if I can jump those, too.  

I know that everyday isn’t easy. It isn’t supposed to be. Often the things worth having take the most work and are the hardest to acquire. No matter who you are, how much money you make, or where you live, there are days when you feel tested. Some days we are tested heavily, and other days, not as much. It’s the growth that comes afterwards that you can look forward to and then appreciate.

It is better not to fight the change, the challenge or the test. Embrace it. Embrace it fully and face whatever fears you have about it. When it is all done, you will be blessed, even if you can’t see it. We aren’t given tests or challenges in our lives to break us down. We are given them to build us up and make us able to face the next challenge and appreciate the blessings we receive in return. If life was easy all the time, we wouldn’t live it completely. We’d become complacent and bored. We’d become too comfortable. The challenges and the triumphs are what make living worth living.

As you are going through your challenges, don’t seclude yourself from others. Don’t reject your friends and those who care for you. When we go into hiding because we are facing adversity, others don’t see the adversity, they only feel the rejection from us. Your friends and loved ones may understand you better than you know. But if you don’t give them the chance to be in your corner, they won’t know you need them. Also, having someone to confide in helps to relieve some of the stress you feel from the test you’re facing. Holding emotions inside often creates more stress and problems in the long run. Plus, some tests aren’t tests specifically just for us. Some tests help to reveal who around you should or shouldn’t remain in your life by testing their resilience in your time of difficulty. Admitting you need help, love and support from others does not make you weak. The admission reaffirms your strength. When you are able to trust in others, you prove yourself to be trustworthy.

Going through challenges in life makes you human. Embrace your humanity.