Tag Archives: down the river named denial

The Old College Try

I tried the relationship thing recently. It didn’t work. Now he’s stalking me. I’ve never understood how a person can decide they don’t want to be with someone, walk away from the relationship and then stalk the very person they said they don’t want to be in a relationship with. Is that the definition of insanity or bi-polar? I’m not sure, however I can rest assured that I was not the cause of the demise of the relationship. I put forth effort, I was open minded, I was committed – I gave it the old college try. And just like in college, if a major I’ve decided to study isn’t working out in my best interest,  it’s time for me to change my course schedule.

I could say a whole lot of things about him that are ALL true, but it’s not necessary because I’m the prize and he already knows it. I don’t have to tear him down to prove my worth, like he’s attempting to do to me. I know that the best revenge is to be fabulous. And fabulous, I am.  A man didn’t give me my self esteem and a man can’t take it away from me. Particularly one who isn’t the man God made for me, or even half of that. In a couple of days he’ll still be mad and I’ll be working on my upcoming media projects. In a few months he’ll still be talking about me in a derogatory manner while I’m in and on magazine covers (bragging that he knows me). In a few years he’ll be trying to capitalize off the imaginary sex tape that he claims he has and has threatened to post on Facebook and Twitter (who does that?). In a few years, I’ll still be fabulous and he’ll be a distant no one that meant nothing in my past. One day he’ll be an old man with no companionship because he alienated everyone with his poor attitude. And I’ll be the reigning Queen of All Media. The deepest truth is that I was just trying something different. I didn’t love him. I barely liked him. I only wanted what he claimed he would do for me. He didn’t produce any of what he said he’d do. That made me unhappy so I sought satisfaction within myself and in someone else. This man put on the facade that he thought I wanted, like some men do, then his real self started to leak out. He couldn’t plug the leak, so it all burst forth. Now he’s gone. *happy dance*.

Now I have yet another interesting life experience to add to my vast collection of fiction based loosely on my real life. I smell a best seller. Regardless of whatever flaws he thinks I have and tries to “out”, at the end of the day I already know I was the best thing he never had. The minute he exited my life, my life improved. Business picked up. I actually wish he really did have a sex tape or pictures of me. Do you know how many people make money off of that? I have bills to pay so I could use the extra money from the scandal. Plus, I can handle it because I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done – in or out of the bedroom. Anyone who knows me, knows that my brut honesty begins within. I know where I went wrong (I wanted the financial assistance he claimed he could provide – which is against my independant character), but I also know that he created many more wrongs than I did and forced the relationship downhill like an avalanche. The difference is that I can change my error because I know what it is. Ask him what he did wrong and he’ll say ‘nothing’. He’s on a lonely boat sailing down the river named denial.

I actually take this experience as God’s way of telling me I was working outside the Master’s Plan. I’ll take that as a grown woman should and get back on the path laid out for me. God has someone else in mind for my life companion. Maybe I haven’t even met him yet. And I’m okay with that. I’m a work in progress and whomever he is, he is also a work in progress. When we finally do come together we will be the best for one another – emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially. When my husband comes into my life, we will be true partners – not two people taking advantage of one another.

In the meantime, I will marry my shoes, build my brand and enjoy the company of the most amazing, talented and gorgeous men I know. Enjoying the fabulous single life (#fabsinglelife) is a lot better than stress and drama perpetuated by someone else’s issues any day.

The life lesson for today is:

love the life you are in to the fullest. It’s the only one you get and don’t let anyone take that from you.

Class dismissed.