Tag Archives: cultivate a relationship

10 Things That Are Better Than a D*ck Pic

As a mature woman with life goals, I’m still astounded by how many men over the age of 25 believe it’s sexy, attractive and appreciated when they randomly send a pic of their penis to a woman completely unsolicited. For too many men this occurs immediately after receiving a woman’s phone number or her acceptance of their friend request on Facebook. It’s the introduction instead of the bonus round.

Well, men I have to tell you what some women won’t:

The minute you send your d*ck over data transmissions, you make it known that your penis is the only thing you value about yourself and the only thing you have to offer is sex. That immediately puts women into a mind frame of how you should be treated. A mature woman isn’t going to take you seriously as a dating prospect and she’ll likely believe you are a heaux. After all, sending unsolicited d*ck pics is heaux-havior. It screams “look at me, I need attention, because I’m insecure and my penis is my best quality”. Women who are wife material and who have had experience in life aren’t here for that. You’re nothing but potential drama and a waste of hair and makeup for them.

If you’re realizing that you’re not an immortal man, and that life is more than sex and a bunch of women liking your pics and seeing your penis, and you want a wife and family before you need Viagra, you have to present yourself like a man who knows better, so he does better.

For the men who want to date for the purpose of finding a wife and life partner, here’s a list of items you can send pics of that will be more impressive to a woman who is dating for the purpose of becoming a wife.

  1. College degree or professional certification. Being intelligent and/or having skills is sexy and says you’re goal oriented, able to complete what you start and you have the ability to plan what you do in life. Throw in a pic of you using your tool box and a woman will know you can fix stuff.

  2. Bank statement. If you’re still going to the check cashing place on payday, you might as well send that d*ck pic bro. A man who is relationship ready has a bank account and direct deposit. If you have more than one bank account with balances above the minimum, you are even more likely to impress a woman who is wife material.

  3. Investment statements, 401k, REITs. Knowing how to make money is one thing. Knowing how to invest it for your future is next level. A man who understands that multiple streams of income isn’t just working more than one job or operating more than one business, is a man who is ready for the responsibility of a wife and family. A man who invests also knows that time is valuable and he’s less likely to waste it playing games. He’s dateable for a woman who is wife material.

  4. A pic of you working out. You can also send a video on leg day. Healthy is wealthy. Keeping yourself physically fit isn’t just about your appearance, it’s a method of self care. If you can take care of yourself, you can also take care of a family because you will have less serious health problems if you exercise regularly. Dating and relationships can’t be going to movies and dinner all the time. Being physically fit opens the door for more fun, interesting and adventurous dates, like bowling, bike riding, skydiving….just to name a few.

  5. A pic/video of you cooking healthy meals. If you go out all the time, or to your mother’s house for meals because you can’t cook, you need to purchase a cookbook and a slow cooker before you send another d*ck pic. Men should know how to sustain a healthy lifestyle by preparing healthy meals for themselves. Even if you cook the same thing every time, it’s better than waiting on a woman to cook for you or bring you a menu. Even learning to cook shows that you are possibly a good man to date.

  6. You actively participating in your hobbies and interests. What do you do when you’re having fun? Where do you go in your spare time? What is your routine? Do you mentor or volunteer in your community? Do you have a life or naw? This matters because being married doesn’t mean being boring and women who want husbands consider what compatibility they may have socially with you. If all you do is drink and smoke, hang with the fellas or play video games, you’re not relationship ready so I see lots of d*ck pics in your future.

  7. Passport, CLEAR Access, TSA Pre-check or Frequent Flyer Account Statements. A well traveled man is sexy, even if it’s for his job or career. If you can also bypass the long lines at TSA when you travel, you’re a Boss. If you speak another language, even conversationally, you’re a real winner. Show off your travel experience to that woman you like, so that she can see the lifestyle you lead. You might find she has the same interests and you can build a rapport and lay the foundation for a relationship off of it.

  8. You wearing a properly tailored suit. This is a treat to a woman, whether you wear a suit daily for work or not. Women who are wife material own outfits for different occasions. To date, and eventually marry, that kind of woman, you have to be able to do the same as a man. If your wardrobe isn’t representative of a man who can go different places for different occasions, you have been spending too much time sending d*ck pics and not enough time getting your life together.

  9. Your version of your vision board. A man who is ready for a relationship, leads and plans. If love and marriage are goals for you as a man, there has to be some planning around that. You also have something to keep that plan in mind and what it includes for you; house, cars, kids, pets, travel, etc. Show it to the woman you’re interested in seriously dating. If her interests aren’t the same as yours, you’ll find out this way and then you can move on to someone else.

  10. Your smile 😁. ….Not the fake smile you post on Instagram for likes. Your genuine smile. Your “my life is good and I’m a happy person” smile. If you’re not happy as a single man, you’re not ready to be a committed or married man. Happiness doesn’t come from outside of you, it radiates from within you. Happiness isn’t found in your ego being stroked or in having multiple women in your bed. Plus men who are genuinely happy don’t try to ruin women’s lives. If you don’t have a nice smile, or if you have to edit your smile in pics, or you don’t smile at all, find out why and fix it. Visit your dentist and/or your therapist immediately and get your smile together, brother.

There are several other things that women would prefer, but this should be a start for any man who is seriously interested in a relationship that isn’t rooted in sex. If you are older than 30 years of age, and you can’t find at least 8 things on this list to send to a woman instead of a d*ck pic, you have a great deal of growing and maturing to do, and you probably shouldn’t date anyone for awhile. My son is 24 and he can send 8 of these already. Your income isn’t a deterrent, neither is your environment. A man who isn’t ready for a relationship, will get himself ready for the woman he wants to be with. It’s really that simple. Keep that in mind the next time you strike a pose and your d*ck is the main focus.

10 Things That Are Better Than a D*ck Pic

As a mature woman with life goals, I’m still astounded by how many men over the age of 25 believe it’s sexy, attractive and appreciated when they randomly send a pic of their penis to a woman completely unsolicited. For too many men this occurs immediately after receiving a woman’s phone number or her acceptance of their friend request on Facebook. It’s the introduction instead of the bonus round.

Well, men I have to tell you what some women won’t:

The minute you send your d*ck over data transmissions, you make it known that your penis is the only thing you value about yourself and the only thing you have to offer is sex. That immediately puts women into a mind frame of how you should be treated. A mature woman isn’t going to take you seriously as a dating prospect and she’ll likely believe you are a heaux. After all, sending unsolicited d*ck pics is heaux-havior. It screams “look at me, I need attention, because I’m insecure and my penis is my best quality”. Women who are wife material and who have had experience in life aren’t here for that. You’re nothing but potential drama and a waste of hair and makeup for them.

If you’re realizing that you’re not an immortal man, and that life is more than sex and a bunch of women liking your pics and seeing your penis, and you want a wife and family before you need Viagra, you have to present yourself like a man who knows better, so he does better.

For the men who want to date for the purpose of finding a wife and life partner, here’s a list of items you can send pics of that will be more impressive to a woman who is dating for the purpose of becoming a wife.

  1. College degree or professional certification. Being intelligent and/or having skills is sexy and says you’re goal oriented, able to complete what you start and you have the ability to plan what you do in life. Throw in a pic of you using your tool box and a woman will know you can fix stuff.

  2. Bank statement. If you’re still going to the check cashing place on payday, you might as well send that d*ck pic bro. A man who is relationship ready has a bank account and direct deposit. If you have more than one bank account with balances above the minimum, you are even more likely to impress a woman who is wife material.

  3. Investment statements, 401k, REITs. Knowing how to make money is one thing. Knowing how to invest it for your future is next level. A man who understands that multiple streams of income isn’t just working more than one job or operating more than one business, is a man who is ready for the responsibility of a wife and family. A man who invests also knows that time is valuable and he’s less likely to waste it playing games. He’s dateable for a woman who is wife material.

  4. A pic of you working out. You can also send a video on leg day. Healthy is wealthy. Keeping yourself physically fit isn’t just about your appearance, it’s a method of self care. If you can take care of yourself, you can also take care of a family because you will have less serious health problems if you exercise regularly. Dating and relationships can’t be going to movies and dinner all the time. Being physically fit opens the door for more fun, interesting and adventurous dates, like bowling, bike riding, skydiving….just to name a few.

  5. A pic/video of you cooking healthy meals. If you go out all the time, or to your mother’s house for meals because you can’t cook, you need to purchase a cookbook and a slow cooker before you send another d*ck pic. Men should know how to sustain a healthy lifestyle by preparing healthy meals for themselves. Even if you cook the same thing every time, it’s better than waiting on a woman to cook for you or bring you a menu. Even learning to cook shows that you are possibly a good man to date.

  6. You actively participating in your hobbies and interests. What do you do when you’re having fun? Where do you go in your spare time? What is your routine? Do you mentor or volunteer in your community? Do you have a life or naw? This matters because being married doesn’t mean being boring and women who want husbands consider what compatibility they may have socially with you. If all you do is drink and smoke, hang with the fellas or play video games, you’re not relationship ready so I see lots of d*ck pics in your future.

  7. Passport, CLEAR Access, TSA Pre-check or Frequent Flyer Account Statements. A well traveled man is sexy, even if it’s for his job or career. If you can also bypass the long lines at TSA when you travel, you’re a Boss. If you speak another language, even conversationally, you’re a real winner. Show off your travel experience to that woman you like, so that she can see the lifestyle you lead. You might find she has the same interests and you can build a rapport and lay the foundation for a relationship off of it.

  8. You wearing a properly tailored suit. This is a treat to a woman, whether you wear a suit daily for work or not. Women who are wife material own outfits for different occasions. To date, and eventually marry, that kind of woman, you have to be able to do the same as a man. If your wardrobe isn’t representative of a man who can go different places for different occasions, you have been spending too much time sending d*ck pics and not enough time getting your life together.

  9. Your version of your vision board. A man who is ready for a relationship, leads and plans. If love and marriage are goals for you as a man, there has to be some planning around that. You also have something to keep that plan in mind and what it includes for you; house, cars, kids, pets, travel, etc. Show it to the woman you’re interested in seriously dating. If her interests aren’t the same as yours, you’ll find out this way and then you can move on to someone else.

  10. Your smile 😁. ….Not the fake smile you post on Instagram for likes. Your genuine smile. Your “my life is good and I’m a happy person” smile. If you’re not happy as a single man, you’re not ready to be a committed or married man. Happiness doesn’t come from outside of you, it radiates from within you. Happiness isn’t found in your ego being stroked or in having multiple women in your bed. Plus men who are genuinely happy don’t try to ruin women’s lives. If you don’t have a nice smile, or if you have to edit your smile in pics, or you don’t smile at all, find out why and fix it. Visit your dentist and/or your therapist immediately and get your smile together, brother.

There are several other things that women would prefer, but this should be a start for any man who is seriously interested in a relationship that isn’t rooted in sex. If you are older than 30 years of age, and you can’t find at least 8 things on this list to send to a woman instead of a d*ck pic, you have a great deal of growing and maturing to do, and you probably shouldn’t date anyone for awhile. My son is 24 and he can send 8 of these already. Your income isn’t a deterrent, neither is your environment. A man who isn’t ready for a relationship, will get himself ready for the woman he wants to be with. It’s really that simple. Keep that in mind the next time you strike a pose and your d*ck is the main focus.

I Don’t Believe in Leprechauns, Purple Elephants and Spotted Unicorns

I’ve never seen a leprechaun, a purple elephant or a spotted unicorn walking around. Much like I’ve yet to meet a wonderful, available, single man that people keep telling me exists and that I should “wait for“. Let me define available in my own terms: he’s not someone else’s boyfriend, husband or fiance pretending to be a single man. He is completely heterosexual. He’s not having a physically, intimate, sexual relationship with the mother of his children or some other woman that he desires to maintain. He’s not still in love with, infatuated by, heartbroken over or stalking his ex-wife, ex-girlfriend or mother of his children. He is emotionally available to cultivate a relationship. He doesn’t have a fear of commitment, an Oedipus complex or violent tendencies towards women. He is ready, willing, able and capable of making spending time with me a priority in his life and wants to get to know me as a person. That’s what I consider available.

Available is the number one requirement. After that, a man must also be compatible. I have yet to meet someone who conquers available, so compatible is a different task altogether. Which is why I’m eternally married to my shoes, and later this year I will marry a Blackberry® Playbook. Don’t judge me. Both my shoes and the Blackberry® Playbook will enhance my life in a way that a man hasn’t been able to do my entire adult life. They are money well spent and time worth giving.

I’ve learned something about myself that I don’t think anyone else knows. My creativity becomes hindered when I’m giving myself to someone else. I’m happier by myself than I am in a relationship with a man. I’m also tired of “trying” when the man I’m in a relationship with refuses to. I’m tired of giving and not receiving anything in return. It’s too much work without any return on investment. Aren’t relationships supposed to be mutual? I didn’t realize that everyone was taking, taking, taking and believed that giving was not necessary. But that is how it seems to be with the men I meet. So I prefer to be single.

I prefer to travel alone than have someone telling me how much they aren’t having a good time, complaining about where we are, or hating on the people around. I prefer to go where I want to go and do what I want to do without someone else telling me why I can’t or why I shouldn’t. I prefer to have peace of mind and quiet in my home more than having someone who wants to argue or nag about everything. I prefer to cook for myself and eat meals alone than have someone tell me what they don’t like or don’t eat. I prefer to be myself versus being with someone who is trying to control me because they think I need controlling. I prefer to be in my own little existence in this world than have someone who is unhappy with themselves constantly pointing out my flaws to make themselves feel better, as if I don’t already know what my flaws are. I’d rather be single than try to please someone who will never be satisfied, regardless of what I do for them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for any and everyone who has a good relationship and marriage. I just realize that I will not be one of those people. I admit that I don’t appreciate those happily committed and married people who constantly tell me that I need to “wait for“, “be patient“, “have faith in“, “pray for” “don’t give up on“, “believe in” men that they claim exist, but themselves can’t seem to find so that they can introduce me to them. I don’t appreciate the men that I know who tell me that I’m a great woman and that they know single, available men, however they refuse to introduce me to these single, availble men because of their own egos or hidden agendas. I don’t appreciate people who tell urban legends of people they know in their senior years who magically found their soul mates, as if I have to wait until I’m ninety years old to be loved and have companionship. I don’t appreciate people who treat single women like we’re single because there ‘must be something terribly wrong’ with us if we can’t snag one of these wonderful (imaginary) single men. I don’t appreciate people who believe that there are equal amounts of single men and women, therefore everyone should be paired up two by two as if we’re boarding Noah’s Ark into marital bliss.

The stories of love lost and found, love shared over millions of miles, love in a nursing home and what not, are romantic, but they are not the standard. They are the exception to the reality that everyone is not going to be with someone forever. People come and go everyday for a reason or a seaon. Some people come into a person’s life with good intentions but that doesn’t mean they are good for that person. I refuse to live a life expected of me by others because they are afraid that I’m going to die alone. I’m not alone. I just live a singular life without a man to share it with. That’s not a reason to pity me or try to feed me false tales of “a man that’s waiting for me somewhere in the universebut I just can’t see him. I have friends, relatives and someone who will bury me once I’m dead. That’s all that I really need.

There once was a time in our society when people introduced single and available men and women to each other. People had children, friends, relatives, etc. that they knew were looking for someone compatible, so they “screened” men and women to potentially match them up with each other. That’s how Tamia and Grant Hill met. Anita Baker introduced them to each other and they’ve been together ever since. Some of the most successful relationships are a result of someone playing match maker out of genuine love and concern for the two single people. They know the character, intergrity, interests, goals and desires of each person and that they might, just might, make a good couple if introduced. If nothing else, they might make good friends. That doesn’t happen anymore. People are either afraid their matchmaking skills will result in disaster, they’re selfish and too egotistical to see someone else happy, or they don’t know any quality individuals to match each other with, although they pretend that they do. I’ve asked several individuals over the years to introduce me to a man, if they know of anyone. Some of them have agreed. I still haven’t been introduced to anyone. But I’m such a great woman. A man once said that there’s a good man somewhere waiting for me, but he’s sorting through all the women without substance. I asked that same man, if that good man is sorting through all the women without substance, how will he ever find me? I never got an answer to my question.

It’s possible that I may not be meant to be with someone. It may not be in the Master’s Plan. God has other things He wants of me as I live today and everyday. He knows that a man might just be an attractive distraction that I don’t need. As much as my heart would like for that to not be the case, I have accepted that everything ain’t for everybody and a relationship may not be for me. I just need everyone else to accept that, too. And even those who disagree with my theory of the Master’s Plan aren’t able to prove me wrong. That’s because these same people can’t seem to find any available, single men for me to meet. They are afraid of making an introduction, setting me up on a blind date or even telling these (imaginary) men that I exist to spark some interest in me. I’m open to all of of those things. These same people can’t even tell me where to go so I can accidentally run into these (imaginary) men by chance. Therefore, until someone introduces me to one of these (imaginary) men, I’m perfectly happy being single.  #FabSingleLife.

If you are a single woman, and you’re always being bombarded by the hopefully romantic, wishful thinking people in your world telling you that the man for you, is just around the corner and you just have to be patient, because they know he exists, tell them to put their money where their mouths are and take you around the corner, point that man out and introduce you to him. When you do this, watch their faces change and their excuses come in abundance.

*Excuse me, can you tell me which one is easier to find: an available man or a leprauchaun, a purple elephant and a spotted unicorn?