Tag Archives: comfort zone

Comfort Levels

We all have an idea of what makes us comfortable; the ideal weather conditions for our favorite activities, the perfect temperature for our favorite beverages, the number of people in our inner circle. This is our comfort level. It is similar in theory to our comfort zones, but not quite the same. Comfort levels adapt more quickly based on external factors or experiences and it can be a positive experience. Our comfort zone is where we retreat to when those factors are not in agreement with what we want, or with what we think we want, and it’s often based on fears of the unknown.

My comfort level is changing. What was once something that made me happy has come to the point where it is no longer enough. I want more. It’s not enhancing my life, business or purpose. It has run its course and is coming to its conclusion. I have lived in the same city for forty years and I’ve spent the last seven years building my brand in this city. There is only so much I can accomplish in this location. So what am I to do since I recognize this?

Some people would be willing to fight to keep things exactly the same so that they wouldn’t have to concern themselves with the unknown. I am clearly not like some people. I’m very interested in finding out what the unknown has to offer. I want a challenge to learn from. I want to broaden my consumer base. I want to expand my network. I want to make more money. I want more opportunities. I want warmer weather. And the beautiful part is that I don’t have to dismantle my company to do it. Because I stepped out of my comfort zone years ago and made a decision to use technology to operate Super Woman Productions and Publishing, I can effectively remain in business in one city, and reside in another city that is more in line with my comfort level.

When and where this change will take place isn’t known as of yet, but the steps are being taken in the direction I want to go towards….and some bags and boxes are already packed. When the time comes I will be ready to accept the opportunities.

Has your comfort level changed?

Are you willing to step out of your existing comfort zone to be happier?

Younger Horizons

I’m not ready. I know I’m not. I’m not ready to stay at home ALL the time. I still want to travel, learn, grow and do many, many things. I’ve been dating men ten to fifteen years older than me for awhile. My friends tease me and say that men I date are all AARP members. They are older, but still sexy and in pretty good physical condition. In my experience, older men are (usually) more mature, more financially stable, and more gentlemanly; they no longer desire to have children and don’t require training in the lovemaking department. As I’m getting older (and the men are, too), I am really encountering some hotmess.com with older men. It’s making me consider shifting my gears even more towards men younger than myself.

Remember the date from hell I had a couple of months ago? He was in his early forties. The noncommittal, success seeking, Mr. Big in my life? He is in his mid-forties. Then there was the amateur photographer that I dated briefly, who once the involvement ended had the audacity to tell me that I’d never meet a man that would buy me Coney Island for breakfast like he did (in his early forties) and the man that contacted me via Facebook to tell me I was his “type of woman” and he had “I like freaks” in his bio (in his mid-forties). All of these men have made me ask this question:

Has the world gone completely crazy?

I’m very particular about who I spend my time with. It’s the number one reason why I’m single. I’m not getting any younger (I’ll be 37 years old this year), and although I’m still hot, I don’t like having my time wasted. Time is money. I refuse to give my time to someone who will take it for granted or treat it as if it holds no value. So, I keep the standards high, yet reasonable. For the last few years, I apparently have been under the mistaken idea that older men also don’t want to waste time, and would be better potential husbands because they’re ready to settle down and get married. That is so not the case. Older men are more scared, and scarred, when it comes to relationships than men in their twenties are. Although, they should really have their minds, hearts and finances together at their age, many of them, actually do not. So, what options are left for me and women like me?  

One option is younger men.

Not “teenage” younger, or college younger…just younger. And that doesn’t make me a cougar, regardless of what others think. I’m often mistaken for a twenty-something year old woman out on a date with a Sugar Daddy. I seriously doubt that if I dated a man slightly younger than I am anyone would even notice. So, I’m broadening my horizons. This is something I often tell women who ask me for dating advice to do. [Broaden your horizons. Step out of your comfort zone. Do something different.]You will never say I’m a hypocrite, because I live what I say. I will not necessarily give every younger man a chance to date me. I don’t currently give every man the chance to date me at all, regardless of his age. However, I will give men slightly younger than I am, the opportunity to show and prove more than I have in the past. That is something I’m more than capable of doing.

Only time will tell if dating younger men will result in me meeting my true Superman, or just another Bizarro.