Tag Archives: choice

P*ussy Is Already Magical

First it was vaginal rejuvenation, then it was vaginal steaming, now it is vagina glitter.

What the entire f….

All of these products and services doctors are warning women to stay away from because they can be very harmful to women and our reproductive systems. Not to mention they are completely unnecessary to our vaginal health. They are constantly trying to tell us women we’re unworthy and need to fix our vaginas or other physical attributes.  And for what?  So they can get our money (women have a combined $5.2+ Trillion dollars in buying power), damage our bodies (glitter in your pussy is dangerous for so many common sense reasons), lower our self esteem (because if we love ourselves we must be stupid) & make us compete with each other for the attention of men (who wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for our pussies to begin with).

#issatrap

There’s this silent but deadly war against women’s reproductive systems being waged and only noticed when the topic of abortion comes up. This selling of rejuvenation, steaming and glitter for women, is the part of that war that no one notices; the fake out marketing of unhealthy products that tells women tofix your pussy”I love all things shiny, pretty and shimmery, but I will not put herbs, lasers or glitter bombs in my pussy.

I want to know where the penis rejuvenation, steam and glitter products are for men? Oh, wait, that’s right, they don’t exist because men’s penises are ‘perfect the way they are’ in spite of the number of men who never go to the doctor. Not to mention all the community penises out here that need to be rejuvenated, fixed and altered that are sliding into women’s DMs daily that should be kept hidden.

Men don’t have the most beautiful penises, but they’re not targeted to get them fixed, changed or altered nearly as much as women are.  Men get to choose what they want to do with their penises, but women need “permission” from their husband, doctor, priest or some member of society (usually a male politician) to decide what to do with their own vagina.

I read an article published on blackdoctor.org and and I’ve seen a lot of other articles recently about doctors warning against vaginal steaming and rejuvenating, and about how much money companies have made off both. It saddens me how gullible some women are when it comes to our vaginas. Pussy is already magical. These steam and rejuvenating entities are making nearly as much money as companies selling legitimate feminine products are, from trying to convince women that our pussy is “wrong”.

Pussy brings life into the world. You can’t get more magical than that. 

I was partially raised by my aunt who was a RN (Registered Nurse, for those stuck on Urban Dictionary for their vocabulary) and even back then everything she taught me about my vagina is exactly what my OB/GYN says about it today:

Wash with mild soap and water, don’t put dirty things in it, don’t let dirty men touch it.

So simple.

These processes and products for vaginas are not beauty products. They’re not feminine care or feminine hygiene products either. They are a scam to get women to hate the way their vaginas look and feel.  There are so many natural  and healthy ways to clean, rejuvenate and shimmer your vaginas that don’t require sitting on pots with herbs, inserting capsules with glitter and going into plastic surgeons’ offices.

To help  women who don’t know any better, here are 10 ways to keep your pussy magical without causing it unnecessary harm, in no particular order.  Feel free to share with others who need to know.

1 . Get a regular physical exam from your OB/GYN that includes a pelvic exam, pap smear and STD screening. Visiting your doctor is vital to keeping your pussy magical and it helps other women in the community by decreasing the potential spread of bacterial infections and STDs due to sharing sexual partners over time. Even if you’re celibate, getting your pelvic exam and pap smear is necessary because you want to detect and avoid issues such as fibroids and cancer. Consider diseases and cancer as zombies trying to suck the magic from your pussy. If they aren’t slain, they will spread.

2. Wash your hands before your touch your pussy, and after. Germs are spread from hand contact more than kissing. Carry a small pack with your feminine hygiene products, vaginal washes/wipes, hand sanitizer (low alcohol and quick drying) and hand soap with you so that you will be less likely in need of them in public restrooms or at work.  Door knobs, handles and dispensers all have someone else’s germs on them. You don’t want those strangers’ germs getting into your magical pussy.

3. Wash your pussy with mild soap and water. The soap you use to wash your hands isn’t necessarily the best soap to wash your pussy with. Neither is the soap you use on your face due to the age defying, acne preventing ingredients etc. etc. that are in a lot of them. Invest in something milder to use to keep your pussy magical. One of my favorites is from The Honey Pot (BTW, this is not a paid endorsement, but it should be).  The Honey Pot is sold in Target stores nationwide. If you visit their website they have a store locator for those who don’t want to shop online and wait for delivery.

4. Use feminine hygiene products related to your period as recommended. Don’t leave tampons or cups inside of your pussy longer that the timeframe listed on the packaging. Toxic Shock Syndrome is a thing. From what I understand it isn’t a good thing either, so don’t keep tampons in for 8 hours if they should be changed every 4. If you’re a traveler like I am, and you know it’s going to be difficult to change your tampon on a plane or train, or in an automobile, Soft Cups are an alternative because they can be worn longer (again, not a paid endorsement, but it should be).

5. Exercise yourself into a good sweat and do it more than once a month. I don’t want to preach about women needing to get more exercise, but a lot of us do.  A regular, consistent, exercise routine is good for anyone.  Sweat from exercising is good for your pussy. It has pores on the outside of it just like the skin you have everywhere else. Sweat is detoxifying. Your pussy also has blood circulating around it and exercising helps to keep your blood flowing properly throughout your body. After you sweat, shower to get your skin clean and prevent bacteria from attaching to you.

6. K is for kegel. Speaking of exercising, if you don’t know how to do kegel exercises, you’re really missing out on the magic of your pussy. There are devices (such as ben wa balls) that can help you to tighten and strengthen your pussy walls, or you can just use the same motion you would use to contract your muscles to keep you from urinating on yourself.  Seriously.  It’s that simple. Contract, release, contract, release. It’s the exercise you can do anywhere without anyone even knowing. Do it while sitting, standing in line, getting a pedicure, driving your car, updating your status on Facebook or talking on the phone. I did thirty while typing this paragraph.

7. Eat your fruit and veggies. “You are what you eat”  has never been truer.  Even if you’re not vegetarian or vegan, it’s a good practice to consume a lot of servings of fruit and vegetables to help keep your pussy magical.  Some fruit and veggies (and a few dairy) that are highly recommended include cranberries, sweet potatoes, kimchi, greek yogurt, apples, avocados, leafy greens (kale, chard, spinach, collard greens), guava, kiwi, oranges, lemons, pineapples, green bell peppers, broccoli, carrots and strawberries.  Minimally processed soy products including edamame, tofu, miso and tempeh are really good for women over the age of 40.  In addition, fish that contain omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, mackerel, herring, albacore tuna, lake trout, sardines) and oysters are very good for your pussy. No, they don’t make you smell like fish, regardless of what that clown dude you dated told you. If you have a fishy odor coming from your pussy, please refer to #1 on this list immediately.  Garlic and nuts are also good for keeping your pussy magical. Just be mindful with garlic, because too much of it can seep out of your pores and sweat, which can make you smell like garlic. Avoiding a lot of processed and sugary foods also helps improve the smell and health of your pussy. Eat some dark chocolate when you want sugar.  Reach for plain or flavored black tea or kombucha instead of pop or carbonated sugary drinks.

8. Drink half of your body weight in ounces of water DAILY, no matter what other beverages you consume. Never skip water to have a beer, wine, coffee or a smoothie. Water is life. Drink it filtered if you don’t like the “taste” of tap water. Drink it room temperature for easier digestion and start your day with one glass when you wake up in the mornings. Water also reduces your water weight, which reduces bloating during your period.  If you consume water more than any other beverage you will have magical pussy.  Plus it’s a good excuse to practice your kegels.  Add fresh lemon and/or ginger and/or mint to one or two of those glasses of water each day.  This combination consumed cold, room temperature or as a hot tea has many benefits, including helping to reduce body fat, reduce pain and swelling in your limbs and reduce muscle soreness (after exercising). The fact that it helps keep your pussy at its most magical is a bonus gift from nature.

9. Masturbate. Do I really need to explain this? If you don’t know how magical your pussy is firsthand (pun intended), you will easily fall for any trap, scam or sponsored ad telling you that it needs to be fixed because it’s not good enough the way it is. If you don’t masturbate you won’t know what your own pussy is supposed to feel like, so you won’t notice any changes to it that you should.  Masturbate so you know if those kegels are working. Masturbate so you’ll know what you like sexually and what you don’t (men could use some instructing at times). Masturbate so that you will know why they want you to believe that your pussy isn’t already magical. You can’t be fooled into thinking it’s not something perfect and special when you’ve held the proof of its power in your own hands.  And if you need help finding something to make you more comfortable with masturbation, check out these options from Lelo (kind of a paid endorsement) that I have tested personally. 

10. Use condoms when having sex with men who are not your husband. This goes back to my aunt telling me not to let dirty men touch mine. Sadly more and more men want to use condoms less and less, while they are out here being community dick. As a result they are both catching and spreading STDs and bacterial infections to all the women they are having sex with. Dick isn’t magical, entitled men just want women to think it is.  Dick isn’t self-cleaning or life bringing. If a dick gets dirty it needs immediate medical attention and lots of antibiotics.  As a result, any pussy it touches while dirty will need medical attention and antibiotics also. Condoms also limit the exchange of oxytocin during sex, which is the hormone that can trick you into thinking that community dick was special, when it really wasn’t. Men sleep with whoever they can (usually anyone available at that moment) and confident women only sleep with who they want to.  So choose your sexual partner carefully, don’t play with community dick and make all dicks who don’t put diamonds on your fingers, provide for and protect you, use condoms every time.

That’s it. You don’t need glitter or steaming or rejuvenation. Spend that money on a vacation somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Now go forth, and embrace your magical pussy, naturally and safely.

The Carters

They did it again.

Jay Z and Beyonce have excellently executed a brilliant work of art and imagery for the world to witness.

This isn’t the first time, yet it’s interesting to see how some people seem to think that it is.

Both Jay Z and Beyonce are strong artists in their genres and make a great team when performing together. They compliment and elevate each other flawlessly, on stage and off. They are #goals… in my personal opinion. You may disagree, but I won’t care.

I sat in my rented condo in South Beach, Miami recently, and I listened to “pop culture subject matter experts” on a popular day time television show, speak of how Everything Is Love was everything from a visual reenactment of Jay Z and Beyonce’s past marital issues, and proof that Beyonce doesn’t need Jay Z and she should have released another solo project instead, to how neither of them have been on tour in years. Clearly these three show hosts had very short memories, and an unknowledgeable show producer, because both Jay Z and Beyonce have had very successful individual tours just in the last two years. Beyonce toured for Lemonade throughout 2016 and Jay Z toured for 4:44 in 2017.  It’s 2018 and they are now touring together for OTRII, which they began prior to the release of Everything Is Love. Again, I don’t know who the producer of this show was, but they haven’t been fact checking very well. In an interview with the New York Times (November 2017), Jay Z stated that he and Beyonce had worked on a joint project together and decided to delay the release of it until after their individual projects were released.

News Flash: Everything Is Love IS that joint project.

There are levels to this. 

Beyonce and Jay Z marketed the release of their joint project subliminally and strategically. They are relevant enough and have the longevity to do so, while not disappointing their fans in the process by keeping new music releases on the low. To new artists who see the success of this approach to releasing music, I say, do not try this at home. As a new artist, you must first build a loyal fan base of consistently paying customers before you can “surprise” them with new music or impromptu free performances (such as J. Cole and Bruno Mars). There’s levels to this. By skipping ahead to what you see more established artists doing without putting in the same type of work to build a strong foundation for yourself, you are risking more than necessary.

There are many things that can be learned about social media marketing, cinematography and performance value from Beyonce and Jay Z for those who are paying attention and seeking the knowledge. They are methodical and have mastered the fine art of “don’t talk about it, be about” in a very impressive and entertaining fashion. They are a well written dissertation in motion, particularly for those who have the desire to advance in entertainment and music careers. If studied, the levels they elevate to can give you a degree that no university can offer.

I’m inspired.

I’m excited to see what The Carters will give us next.

In the meantime, everything is love.

On To The Next One

The 6th Annual International Women’s Day Tea Detroit was a success. It was probably the best event since the first one, to be honest. In spite of the ups and downs that I went through to produce the event, I was happy that those in attendance were happy to be there.

So what will be my next obstacle? I have no idea. Everything is a challenge for me right now financially and I although I try to be very patient I feel a great deal of discouragement and I feel limited.  My products and services have always been geared towards helping people invest in themselves (books, motivational speaking, guides, book publishing services, media training, etc.) and that doesn’t seem to be where the people around me are right now, or they’re choosing to support other people’s similar products and services over mine. Regardless, I have nightmares of being homeless so I can no longer dedicate my time towards people who don’t see value in my contributions and I can’t make money if I’m doing everything for free for people who aren’t doing what they do for free.

I’m making adjustments where I can with the little that I can. It’s very difficult to not know where from or when you’re going to get paid, because integrity, character and having a good heart won’t pay any bills. I’m even auditioning for opportunities outside of my city that may generate income because I have goals and being poor isn’t one of them.

I’m trying not to dwell too much on what I don’t have and do what I can. 

As a result, I decided to partner with One Hope Wine to support LaDe Mentoring in Detroit. After all, who doesn’t like wine? Especially wine in pretty bottles that help a good cause. From any sales I generate (which I pray will occur), 10% will be donated to LaDe to help them continue the work they are doing with young women in their mentoring program. I’ve been involved with LaDe for a few years know and I’ve been able to witness the work they do first hand in the community.

Hopefully you all will be able to support Super Woman x One Hope Wines <3 LaDe Mentoring Campaign, by making an online purchase, hosting a wine tasting with your friends and relatives or making a purchase for your upcoming special occasion. You can get more information here.

I’m going to keep the links to  my products and services live, in case someone decides they really need me, but you won’t see many of them advertised any longer.

Black Women vs Shea Moisture

For several days I’ve been observing the Shea Moisture public relations nightmare. The reaction on social media has sparked so much of what I wrote about in my book Breaking Through The Black Ceiling. Here are my thoughts about the situation:
  • This isn’t the first time Shea Moisture has “offended” people of color, it’s just the first time some people noticed. The company previously had an ad featuring a white baby which also caused an uproar.

 

  • Although I feel Shea Moisture had a disproportionate number of people of color represented in their recent ad, as a black business owner, I (still) wonder why people of color don’t think we (black business owners) should be allowed to earn revenue from consumers that don’t look just like us . Money is green and necessary for businesses to operate. That’s a fact. Businesses don’t exist for likes, the actually plan to make profits unless they structure themselves as a not for profit organization. White owned companies make revenue off of black people everyday. Many black people work for such companies and use their products daily. Let that marinate.

 

  • Hair care products are primarily marketed to WOMEN, who have a combined $5 TRILLION in spending power in the USA alone, so a smart business owner in the hair care business, who knows this would want to target ALL women in their ads. Several companies do. Loreal does it. In fact, if you open the May 2017 ESSENCE Magazine (a popular monthly publication which celebrates women of color), Loreal has paid for a 2 page FOUNDATION ad that includes several women of all races and complexions, along with a…      wait for it …..      Black MAN.  And before you get mad about that, men often need makeup applied when they’re ACTORS and MODELS. Contrary to what you see on social media, everybody isn’t perfected by the use of Photoshop. To me the ad makes sense.

Loreal cosmetics knows their products, and those of their competitors are used in film, television, theater and may be used by men, including make up artists.

As a woman, I’m not at all offended. As a business owner I’m not mad at Essence Magazine for securing that bag. There’s nothing to see here. It’s business. And it’s not bad business

  • Yes, Shea Moisture messed up in their casting process, and someone there should have insisted on having more diversity represented, prior to or after seeing the ad, however Carol’s Daughter also has women who aren’t black in their recent ads for their products. Are we going to get mad about that too, or naw?

 

  • The right to solely use products including ingredients such as shea butter, cocoa butter or castor oil are not exclusively reserved to black folks. In fact, if you make such products and only target black people as consumers, you’re greatly limiting the amount of revenue you could potentially make, doing your business a disservice. Black business owners SHOULD capitalize and profit off of our greatness too and that means thinking GLOBALLY instead of locally in some instances.
For the record, United Airlines is still winning the PR fuckery of the year award. Pepsi is still in second place. Shea Moisture is like #6 or something, bit they’re definitely not on the top 5. The mistake they made doesn’t hurt anyone directly, physically, financially or minimize important social issues with the assistance of a Kardashian. It was a bad idea, that can also serve as a wake up call towards something more important; how women of color make changes to address a lack of diversity. 
Instead of complaining on social media and “modeling” on Instagram, some women of color who aspire be seen for likes should show up for the next casting call held by Shea Moisture and make a difference that way – by going out for the opportunity to positively represent diversity. And more women of color should become educated to work in the business fields related to advertising and marketing so they can apply for the jobs that make those decisions in the marketplace.

The lesson from this issue to women of color is become the change you want to see in the world and secure a bag in the process. Otherwise, diversity will not be the goal for a lot of companies, including ones you’re already consumers of.

They Don’t Want Us To Be Woke

Let’s start with this, so that we’re clear from the onset.

I am a survivor of rape and domestic violence. I am also both woke and aware that sometimes women lie about being victimized by men. Therefore, what I’m about to state isn’t based on my biased emotions because of what I’ve survived. I don’t hate men and I know how to be objective.

If you are a person of color, and you don’t go to see Birth of a Nation, you’re playing yourself and robbing our children of an important moment in American History that is not sugar-coated or watered down.

A jury of his peers found Nate Parker not guilty of raping a woman, whom he had a relationship with, when he was a young, black man (without millions of dollars in the bank) on a sports scholarship in college. Now, as a grown man, Nate Parker is being vilified for that same crime because he successfully made a movie that could have a positive impact on our legacy and the minds of people in this country.

This is not a “I slipped something in her drink/I gave women drugs regularly” situation by any means. Nate Parker has spoken about this incident and never changed his stand on his innocence. Recently he was interviewed by Robin Roberts about the incident. After the interview, The Grio published an article about said interview with a very misleading title in an effort to (obviously) gain readers’ attention.  During the interview with Robin Roberts, Parker was expected to apologize for the rape controversy that recently reemerged and exploded due to the spotlight put onto Birth of a Nation. In my experience as a rape victim, a woman, and a citizen, innocent people, who are proven innocent by a jury, don’t often apologize for a crime they didn’t commit, if they didn’t commit the crime. It is my opinion that mainstream media is attempting to hang Parker with his past, in hopes that no one will go see the movie.

The reality is this: the biggest demographic of movie goers is women. With an estimated annual buying power of $5 trillion dollars, women rule in many areas of importance, regardless of what you may assume.  Therefore, if women are led to believe that Nate Parker committed the crime of rape, even though a jury found him innocent, women will sympathize with the alleged victim, if they too have been violated, or empathize, even if they haven’t, and thereby boycott Birth of a Nation instead of supporting it. Someone somewhere is hoping that on this opening box office weekend, that will be their victory.

Ask yourself this one question if you think I’m blowing smoke:

If Parker were in fact guilty of the crime of rape, why bring it to the forefront after he’s already starred in several movies, along with the likes of Denzel Washington?

I’ll tell you why. Birth of a Nation isn’t just going to be in movie theaters across the country or the world. There’s an educational curriculum developed around the film to put it into school districts as well. If our next generation isn’t led to believe that slaves were happy being enslaved and are instead taught the truth about what slavery was, introduced to more stories about how slavery impacted the country the live in, they are more likely to have a higher sense of self, civic responsibility and concern about civil rights as it relates to themselves and other people of color. 

The rape case that ended with a not guilty verdict is being used as a distraction. If Nate Parker was a White man, putting out this same movie, the crime he WASN’T found guilty of committing, wouldn’t be a topic of any conversation at all…. anywhere. I urge you to make a decision to educate yourself about a pivotal figure in African-American history instead of allowing yourself to be influenced by the spin being put on Nate Parker’s past. If you were in his shoes, that is what you’d want.

They don’t want us to be woke. So we need to stay woke.

Photo courtesy of Fox Searchlight
Photo courtesy of Fox Searchlight

Don’t Let the Likes Fool You

We live in an age where social media is prevalent. It’s not going away no more than the Internet it lives on is, and everyday it becomes larger than the previous day. Social media is truly embedded into our culture and how we communicate with each other. That can be both good and bad. It can be good because social media allows us to communicate with people that we may normally have not had access to because of distance and language barriers. There are also many other benefits to social media; such as the ability for businesses to reach a global consumer base and relatives to stay in contact from miles away.

Unfortunately, one of the down sides to social media is the impact it has on individuals and their self-esteem. A lot of people, adults included, use social media to validate their self-worth in society. Many people only have interaction with others by way of their social media accounts and the strive on a daily basis to make other people “like” them. What they fail to realize is that some of those people liking their content, whether it is photos, memes or statuses, don’t really know or like them as a person and would not ever support their endeavors in the real world where it matters.

For instance, being a radio show host I offer independent artists the opportunity to have their music played on my show. I did this because I was constantly receiving messages with links to YouTube videos from artists asking me to watch, like and share their videos. However, many of those artists weren’t generating revenue from their video content on YouTube. So what’s the point in me liking your art when my ‘like’ is not helping you to make money from your art? To me it was a waste of time. So I offered artists another, more traditional method, by which they could be heard, not just liked. A many of them have stated that they have seen an increase in the number of PAID downloads of their music as a result.

Artists and musicians aren’t the only people impacted. Aspiring models, actors and others are in the same boat. People love the way they look on Instagram and like their pictures on Facebook, but that doesn’t help if those same people aren’t going to see the actors in plays, movies or aren’t watching their television shows, and…. well…. everyone wants to be an Instagram model nowadays, so you can imagine how stiff that competition is. Getting a lot of likes on Instagram doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be booked for the next Dolce & Gabbana, or Macy’s campaign anymore than for the local county fair at this point.

Part of the issue is the façade that big brands portray to consumers as well. When big brands seek partnerships or endorsements, outside of professional athletes and well-known celebrities, they often seek individuals in large part due to the quantity of their social media following more than the quality of their followers, the person’s power to influence those that follow them or their own loyalty to the big brand as a consumer.  This makes everyday social media users and those with dreams of success and stardom believe that they only way to be successful is to have a huge following on social media.

What’s the use if your followers can’t be converted into consumers?

For instance, reality show stars are now being cast in movie roles that actors/actresses fight and train for, simply because they have a larger social media following, but they don’t actually do anything. The movie studios do this because they hope that the reality show star will give them free advertising for their movie. True enough, the advertising is free, but what movie studios fail to realize is that everyone that follows that reality show star on social media isn’t really a loyal fan who would buy a ticket to see them star in a movie.

Being in media has afforded me the opportunity to hear what everyday people honestly think about others. I don’t know what it is but me, but people love to talk to and confide in me. I hear it all the time “I just follow them because I think they are funny/I want to see what people are saying about them; but I’d never spend my money going to see them perform/sing/dance, etc.” And that’s the hard truth that a lot of people don’t know when they have dreams and goals of Instafame.

Consider the newest social media darlings, The Westbrooks. They are being called the black version of the Kardashians. I wouldn’t consider that a compliment personally, but maybe they do. They have millions of combined followers on Instagram and a reality show on a popular cable network. On the show, we get to witness the sisters attempt to do what their father (a successful businessman), suggests they do; monetize their social media following. We also get to see their friends either support their attempts (backyard pool parties) or try to use them for their own attempts at gaining clientele (club openings). Which is probably where the Kardashian comparison comes into play. It seems that the “power” their wield over their social media minions could be used more productively than to endorse hair extensions and pop bottles in nightclubs. They all seem to be intelligent young women, with guidance from their hardworking parents, who didn’t always have it easy, so they understand building success in a more traditional way to acquire longevity.

So why shouldn’t The Westbrooks be able to do something bigger and more impactful with their branding than what everyone else on Instagram is doing?

Time will only tell when it comes to how far things will go for The Westbrooks. They’ll either make change, make waves or be replaced by the next hot group of pretty sisters on the internet. In the meantime, I hope that they serve as a lesson on how fleeting and intrusive Instafame without strategic preparation can be. I also hope that at some point we move away from the façade of what makes people successful and show examples of more men and women using their influence on social media for more than monetization. Those people exist. They may not have millions of followers, but they have quality followers, who are positively impacted by them, myself included. Big brands aren’t paying attention to those types of social media influencers….yet. But that is something that I also hope will change so that being attractive isn’t the only talent left for people to have in order to become successful.
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