Tag Archives: breaking through the black ceiling

Experience; A True Teacher

We have all experienced disappointment, rejection and loss. I myself experienced a tremendous amount this year alone. My mother died, I lost friends and I lost opportunities. All of these experiences forced me to make adjustments, changes and sacrifices. What I thought was going to be one of the best years of my life, turned into one of the most difficult. I was hurt, sad and even felt depressed throughout each experience I weathered. In spite of the negatives, I learned from each situation and as a result I also experienced positive growth.

While I was going through hidden pain, I was still having positive experiences. This year I became a correspondent blogger for Six Brown Chicks and I got to meet a woman I admire greatly as a result; Zondra Hughes. I was in featured in several articles written by talented journalists and bloggers, one of which was published in Italy. I finished my second book and (to my surprise and delight) it reached number 34 in the world on Amazon’s Urban/Regional list of eBooks. In a couple of weeks that same book Breaking Through the Black Ceiling will become available in paperback for purchase.

I had a lot of obstacles come up against me this year, some that were truly unthinkable and others that were completely frightening. Details of one of those obstacles is actually the topic of one of my next books. We won’t even begin to discuss my nonexistent love life. I no longer date. It just doesn’t work out well for me, so I’d rather avoid it than endure it. I still learned from the lack of romance in my life this year as well. I learned that it’s better to be happy and alone, than be miserable trying to force your love on someone who doesn’t want or deserve it. This year I opened up about my past experience with domestic violence for PURE Magazine, I mourned the loss of my friend and mentor, Mark England, and I made some very difficult decisions for my family. I also had to say ‘no, thank you’ quite often for the sake of my own sanity.

This year, I also learned the importance of forgiveness, not for others, but for you. I learned how much I truly value certain friendships, but that I don’t need the ones I lost. I learned that loyalty is often expected, but rarely received. I learned that it is often difficult to be your authentic self, but doing so gives you strength and takes away any negative power that others may have over you. I learned that I have the ability to shape my destiny and purpose, while still living the life that is written for me in the Master’s Plan. I learned that sometimes I won’t be happy, but I will be strong. I learned that my apprehension related to fame is hindering my success, and I decided to change that.

Experience is a true teacher. I truly believe that even the negative things that have occurred to me, not just this year, but throughout my life, served a purpose and were meant for me to learn from. Experience shapes us as individuals. We can’t always control what we go through, and everything we endure in life won’t be pleasant. However, we can make an effort to learn from every experience, good and bad, so that we can become better than we were before. I hope that all of the experiences I had in 2014 will strengthen me to become more resilient, stronger and more purpose driven, so that I can have more wealth, better health and happiness in the days and years to come. I want to continue to make a difference in the world using my voice, my creativity and my words, leaving behind a legacy that will influence others to do the same. I hope the same for you as well.

Next year already holds a great deal of promise and opportunity for my life and career. What I lost in 2014 will be replaced with more abundant and positive experiences in 2015. The obstacles, fear, pain and disappointment from 2014 will no longer exist.

All that will remain is me

Better than I was before.

 

There’s Always More

It’s always been my opinion that as an entrepreneur, you’re never not working towards building or improving your business. If you wake up in the morning and you don’t have anything to do, you’re not hands on enough in your business and that could have dire consequences. It’s not that you have to go to an office every day, or that you need to micromanage your staff, but you should know exactly what is taking place with your business and have a system in place to be informed of it on a regular basis.

If you’re as hands on as I am with your business [which is not necessarily recommended, but for me, that’s just how it is], you soon realize you are never done. There is always more.

There’s always more to do, more to learn, more to accomplish, more to research.

And if you do those things right and well, there are always new opportunities that you can take advantage of because of your entrepreneurial vision and the work you dedicate towards it.

For example, I went from having no annual events to having two after 5 years in business, now four before my seventh year in business. I went from having no community and nonprofit partnerships in my first six years, to now having two with Karmanos Cancer Institute and Lung Force. I went from blogging on what was once the Essence Community Ning-site (which has since been dismantled) to blogging for Six Brown Chicks. I went from have one or two articles and features published about me in the entire year of 2011 to having nine (plus) articles and features published about me in the last six months alone…and there are more pending. There is always more.

There is always more work to do, more to learn, more to accomplish and more to research.

I wrote a little book, this year, called Breaking Through the Black Ceiling, which took me less than a year to complete. I already have the foundation for two more books; one work of erotic fiction and one based on a true story. Before I could finish those, I was referred to very promising funding opportunities for some of the television and web series scripts I’ve had lying around for the last few years. These scripts have been waiting for their turn to come to fruition before an audience and they will soon get it. Because there’s always more.

The only thing I can’t seem to get more of is time. However, that isn’t an issue if the time I have is spent wisely and used for the purposes of being more productive and more profitable. That is what an entrepreneur should do based on my experience, not what is taught in business school. As I look forward, 2015 has a great deal of promise in it because there is always more. I’ve already had planning meetings and discussions about 2015 events and the expansion of them. We’re already considering guests for Fridays in 2015 for The FabLife Radio Show, which is now in season 3. And that’s not all, because there’s always more.

There isn’t a day that I wake up and don’t have something to do. Even if I initially think I don’t, that thought changes very quickly when I see or hear something that sparks an idea or completes an existing one. That may be the major difference between being a media entrepreneur like myself and another entrepreneur in a different industry – the type of task and the process of getting to it. But a task in need of tackling is still inevitable. It has to be. Growth and sustainability are paramount in building a business from the ground up, regardless of what type of business it is. There is always more.

I’m writing this blog in the between taking webinars and participating in conference calls. No joke. I also checked my social media analytics and scheduled posts for later this evening and tomorrow morning while writing this. I’m not bragging, I’m just reiterating that there is always something for an entrepreneur to do where their business is concerned. If you call yourself an entrepreneur and you’re finding yourself bored without anything to do on any given day, please reevaluate how serious you are about being an entrepreneur. Even if it’s planning the holiday party for your staff (or hiring someone to do it), there should be something on the horizon for you to look forward to completing, learning or accomplishing for your business. If you don’t know what it might be, download Breaking Through the Black Ceiling and see if it helps you uncover what it may be.

 

 

 

 

In Dedication to Mark England

On January 18, 2014, the very talented Mark England left this Earth.

Some people call him their stylist. I refer to him as the man who cultivated my style.

Some people call him fashionable. I refer to him as a fashion guru.

Some people call him inspirational. I refer to him as a mentor.

Some people call him Mark. I refer to him as my friend.

It’s been a long time since I lost someone who I cared a great deal about. Mark England was one of the few people in my life who I knew was genuinely concerned about my success. The only thing he expected of me was for me to do my very best. That was very important to me. I’m glad I didn’t wait until the end to tell him that I cared about him and how important he was to my life and career.

Mark will be laid to rest before his family, friends and celebrity clientele on February 1, 2014. I’m extremely sad about the death of my friend, but I know my friend would expect me to continue moving forward with my career plans to the best of my ability in spite of my grief. So that is what I’m trying to do. Mark England had such a positive influence on me that I have decided to dedicate my upcoming book “Breaking Through the Black Ceiling” to his memory with a portion of sales of the book going to Karmanos Cancer Institute in Detroit, Michigan, pending their approval. I also dedicated the Friday, January 24, 2014 broadcast of The FabLife Radio Show to Mark’s memory. Mark and I had made plans for him to be a guest on the show this year. Since that can’t happen, dedicating a show to him and dedicating my book to his memory are the very least that I can do for someone who did so much for me over the last few years.

The Mark England Collection wasn’t just clothes, it was the embodiment of style, grace, class, and haute couture. Mark England took me from pretty to amazing. Mark made cameras flash at me even though photographers had no idea who I was, and often didn’t bother to ask. Mark England gave me a reason to embrace my feminine curves with every dress he made for me and every ensemble he personally selected for me. Mark made me look ten times more confident than I may have felt inside every time I walked into a room or stood before an audience. Mark England will forever be an influence on me and how I do business and what I wear. I thank God I had the chance to have such a wonderfully inspiring person in my life while I did.

If there is someone in your life that means a great deal to you, please take a moment to tell them so.