We’ve all heard the term “been there, done that” in one form or another. It’s a shorter way of explaining to others that you’ve already had that experience previously. We all have a “been there, done that” associated with both good and bad experiences in our lives. Unfortunately, we usually say this when the experience was bad and one that we would prefer not to repeat again in our lives. My “been there, done that” is always connected to relationships with men. I have literally been in almost every situation imaginable. I’ve been in an abusive relationship, I’ve been lied to, manipulated and had my kindness taken for granted. I’ve been stood up, I’ve been let down and I’ve even had men attempt to break me down. I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been the other woman, and I’ve been one of many women.
Been there, done that.
The only experience I have yet to have has been that of the only woman. I’ve yet to experience the love, understanding, partnership and romance that I associate with having a healthy relationship.
Being me seems like a lot of fun to everyone on the outside looking in. I’m told I have “so much going for me” and people always want to know why I’m single. Although I’ve had some men who were less than stellar come into my life [and not last very long], I’ve also dated many very attractive men. I’ve traveled and had a lot of life learning that you can’t get in a classroom. I’m beyond book smart as a result and I’m proud to possess common sense and street smarts as well. I have a fabulous wardrobe accompanied by a very sexy shoe collection. I’ve worked tremendously hard for everything I have; material, and intangible. And I’ve been told that one day I’m going to be an old lady with a bangin’ body. I’ve always had really great sex, but what I want to have is a really great love affair. I want that connection with just one man, for the rest of my life.
Being Super Woman is a lot of hard work. I have to always be “on” and “ready”. Some men can’t handle that. My beauty is natural, but requires some work on my part to maintain it. Some men feel I’m intentionally seeking too much attention and that makes them insecure when it comes to me. I want someone who can love and accept my most vulnerable self – the woman who wears no makeup, a t-shirt and just her panties around the house – and still find me beautiful and worthy of his heart, his time and his affection.
Ideally, I want someone I can go home to the Fortress of Solitude with and just be myself. I need someone that is capable of being my shoulder to lean on when I need them to be. Someone who supports me and my goals through the bright lights, photo shoots and public appearances, but also supports me when my feet hurt because of shoe-icide. I want a man who doesn’t have any fear of losing me because he knows he put in the necessary work to get and keep me in the first place. I want a man who is proud to let me shine and isn’t ashamed to tell the world he’s with me. I need a man who knows what being a man is about and has what it takes to play the role of Superman in my life story.
That’s what I want.
Until that day comes, I’ll continue to write this chapter in my life – solo.