Tag Archives: acknowledgement

What I Learned About Myself From Dealing With My Critics

Don’t let people determine your worth based solely on their experiences or lack thereof.

Don’t let people make you feel like you need to compete with them.

Even before I was ever called Super Woman, there were always people who felt like they could tear me down with their own insecurities. They would try to damage my self-esteem, determine my value, tell me what I couldn’t do and what I’d never do. I thank God for the strength and empowering words and gifts from my grandparents that were instilled in me so deeply that I never fell too deep into what other people thought of me or wished of me, that I couldn’t come back to the surface. Even to this day, people still try it. I’ve had people smile in my face and lie on me behind my back. I’ve had people try to associate with me to improve their own self-worth and when their plans failed, they tried to curse me in the name of God. I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to.

People  claim they don’t like The FabLife Radio Show. But they don’t have a radio show, never had one and wouldn’t know what to do with one if they did. I don’t care, as long as people continue listen. Them listening to a show they claim they don’t like is giving me ratings (smile). If they don’t listen, I don’t care about their opinion because I know that it comes from a place of prejudice. I’ve had over 50 celebrity and subject matter experts just in the first year of broadcasting the show. We constantly have people email us requesting to be guests on the show. I must be doing something right.

People claim they don’t like FabLife Apparel and Accessories, yet they’ve never seen it. They try to say it’s never going to sale and no one is going to buy it. Well people have bought it, even before a single print ad or commercial has been seen publicly. Those people bought it because they like what it stands for and when they wear their shirts, they wear them proudly. Now when the doubters and haters see a celebrity walk down the street wearing one, they will all will want one, too. That will be coming soon.

Some people don’t believe in me. Some people dislike me and yet they have never met me. Many of you have the same experiences on a daily basis; at work, at school, even from relatives. Being a public figure doesn’t change that, it just exacerbates it because it’s thousands more people looking at you everyday. That in part is why I’m not too quick to be in public all the time. I never wanted to be a celebrity and I’m not keen on that word being used to describe me. I’m intelligent enough to know that I can only control that to a certain degree. The more successful I become, the more likely the word “celebrity” is going to be used to describe me. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what people call me, as long as they have the respect enough to spell my name right.

I realized awhile back that many of my experiences growing up and in the first 20 years of my adult life were a form of boot camp to prepare me for what I deal with now and will deal with as the Super Woman Brand grows. My own ambitious nature will not allow me to ever stop striving to be successful and help others. Therefore, I needed to have a coat of armor to protect me from what the world likes to dish out. As much as there are some things about my changing lifestyle I don’t much want to deal with or have caused inconveniences, I realize they are necessary. At least I didn’t wake up in the lifestyle completely unprepared and naive to it. I was gradually introduced to it and educated it on by those with more experience than myself. I was able to observe it from a realistic standpoint for a number of years before it because a part of my day-to-day experiences. I didn’t ask for any of it, but it’s the Master’s Plan for my life. If I try to fight it, I will only lose. If I embrace it, I will always be happy.

While others are doubting me, lying on me, trying to discourage others from supporting me, opportunities are getting bigger and better. The Super Woman Brand is embarking on a publishing project that will allow writers in Detroit to become published in early 2014. We’ve entered into a business relationship with Live Nation, the largest concert and venue promotion company in the entire world. We’re going to travel to other states and broadcast The FabLife Radio Show while there. We’re shooting commercials and print ads for FabLife Apparel and Accessories. We’re sponsoring and producing events in early 2014. We’re expanding our business services and our national reach. We’ve already lined up our signature events for 2014, including our official International Women’s Day event in March, our I Feel Good! Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference in August and so much more that I get dizzy trying to remember it all.

This year I was awarded the 2013 Confident Woman Award, I was recognized in the seventh edition of Who’s Who in Black Detroit. These acknowledgements indicate that I’m doing something right. While other organizations and publications honor and acknowledge the same people year after year after year, it is the smaller publications that I respect and appreciate most because they are the ones that take the time to actually seek people others may not know about yet, who are doing great things in the world. Like yours truly. This year for the first time I went from inside the pages of magazines, to being on the cover of one; Detroit CEO Magazine’s first print edition includes myself, Lacretia Rogers and Mahogany Mignon. If by chance you don’t know who they are, I encourage you to research them further. The magazine will be available to buy soon and details about the event will be shared with Super Fans.

I don’t do what I do for “likes”, I do what I do because I love it. My work fulfills me as an individual, it heightens my purpose in this world. I don’t have to compete with anyone. I am my only competition. My goal is to be better each day than I was the day before. No one can diminish that, make me doubt myself for that, make me quit or make my hurt, because I choose to live my life with purpose. It may be a purpose they don’t like or understand, but that is not my concern or problem to solve. Those who have been supportive of me for the last five years will still be five, ten or fifty years from now for the same reasons.

What happened to all of the people who tried to damage my self-esteem, determine my value, tell me what I couldn’t do and what I’d never do?

Some of them are dead, some of them are still poor, some of them still haven’t done anything with their own lives, some of them are miserable.

Had those people spent more time improving themselves, reaching their goals, competing with themselves instead of criticizing others, they too, could have accomplished much more. Life is too short to concentrate on others more than you concentrate on yourself. Life is too short to spend it talking about others and not reaching for your personal greatness.

 

This Is SO Cool

I zip through my life so fast, making plans, working hard to execute them, saving kittens, helping lost little old ladies, defending the defenseless and other super heroine activities, that I rarely get to take time off. I must plan vacations almost six months to a year in advance (when I get to take one) let alone actually enjoy any of my accomplishments. The dust has been flying fast around me for the last several months leading up to September 12, 2012. Now that the dust has settled for two seconds, I can exhale and appreciate the moment.

Yesterday, September 12, 2012, I was recognized as a Media Professional in the Real Time Media’s sixth edition of Who’s Who In Black Detroit. The book is the size of the White Pages and I’m on page 237 of the thick, beautiful book. Last night, as I listened to Cathy Nedd, Associate Publisher say that Who’s Who isn’t about the most popular or those who have name recognition, a small sense of pride began to pour over me. Then she spoke about how they want to put copies of Who’s Who In Black Detroit into the schools, so that young Black men and women can see people who look like them and came from where they are, who aren’t necessarily celebrities, yet do good things as leaders in business and in the community. Cathy Nedd was talking about all the people listed as honorees…including me.

I don’t get very excited about the things I do. It was a year ago this month that a full-page article was written about me in the Front Page Detroit, another Real Time Media publication. From where I sit, what I do is a lot of thankless work that most people will never know anything about. I don’t do it to impress people; I do it because it’s my dream – to get paid for using my talents so that I can leave corporate America, provide jobs for others and leave a legacy that Super Son and his children can be proud of. I don’t really get to think about how other people perceive what I do. There have been so many times when people minimized my work and talents, that I’ve started to exclude people’s opinions from my thought process. I’m aware that I will not be able to please the masses, no matter what I do, and I’m very well aware that many people perceive me a lot differently than I really am. Yesterday, I was also told that I’ve very humble about my accomplishments. I can honestly say that I don’t really know how to “brag“, although some may consider what I do in this blog “bragging“. I believe in doing the work.

When I got home last night, I unwrapped my copy of Who’s Who In Black Detroit, not knowing where I was in the book. I went to the Entrepreneurs section and didn’t see myself. I didn’t even think to look at the alphabetical listing by name in the back. I picked up the book and ruffled the pages with my thumb. As if I were a magician, the book stopped right on page 237 and there I was. I stopped, looked and said aloud, in my kitchen, occupied by no one else, “That’s me… This is SO cooool.” Then I called my mom. And she told me that she is proud of me. Then I went to bed.

I showed the book to some friends and acquaintances who congratulated me and spoke of how impressed they were with the quality of the book and how I had done a good job by being recognized in it. Two of my best friends called me to ask how the event went the night before. I was still not gloating about it at this point. Super Woman was thinking “now I need to step my game up so I can be worthy of recognition next year for the seventh edition“. But the little girl inside of me, who was always told she was too tall, too skinny, was a nerd and was only pretty without her glasses on, was smiling really big and saying “They are talking about me…This is SO cooool.

Today, I started to reflect on the people in my life who aren’t here anymore, but would really be proud of me, like my grandfathers, my aunts and my uncles. I started to think about the people in the media and entertainment industries who are no longer among the living like Don Cornelius and Chris Lighty, and left blueprints for me to follow and created space for me to thrive. I hope they are proud of me as well. In spite of the achievement, accomplishment, accolade, honor or whatever you choose to refer to it as, I still have much more work to do. I don’t do it for the acknowledgement, although it is very cool. I’m glad that someone thinks I’m worthy of acknowledging. For me, that’s what makes this SO cooool.

 

~ The flower doesn’t dream of the bee; the flower blooms and the bee comes. 

Written on September 13, 2012

New Year, New You!

Every New Year, people make resolutions dependant upon habits they had the previous year. Statistically every year, those same resolutions last approximately until February 1. Making resolutions for New Years is a tradition passed down through our culture. The issue is that the ability to keep those resolutions has not be passed down as well. Personally, I don’t believe in making resolutions of any kind. I believe in making changes, making money and making a difference. As a result, every year instead of making temporary resolutions for my life, I make permanent improvements. I refer to it as my New Year, New You Personal Campaign©.

How do I do this? I self assess myself, my situation, my finances, my life and then I make firm decisions on how to correct the things I do not like and know that I have control of. I make changing things a realistic goal. Then I put an effective, realistic plan in place to achieve my goals. Sounds easy. It can be, once it is put into practice repeatedly. That’s the first key – putting it into practice. Being a person who talks about what you’re going to do is easy. Being a person of action is a little more difficult because it actually requires action on your part.

Many of my goals are related to each other or have other goals dependant upon their achievement. One of my permanent improvement goals include getting into better shape. Not that I’m overweight, but I know that I have to maintain my health and that the better I look, the better I will feel and vice versa. Plus clothes cost too much to replace them if I gain weight. I’ve been there, done that and refuse to do it again. Therefore, my regimen begins immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week – IMMEDIATELY. That is the next key –  NOT procrastinating and making excuses for putting off making those changes because you’re too busy. I know all about being busy. After all, I am Super Woman.

I’m a goal setter and go-getter. Two things that work well together. Living purpose driven is a lifestyle for me. It’s what I do and it’s something I want to pass on to others. Everyone’s purpose is going to be different, I don’t expect everyone to aspire to be me or anyone else. I expect everyone to be their best self. It’s finding your purpose that is most important and making changes in yourself is necessary to do this. As with anything new, it has to be introduced in stages. So if you’re willing to learn, I’m willing to teach. These are the steps to begin journey to a New Year, New You.

Step 1 – Self Assess:

Step 1 is the root of the tree. What things about yourself do you know you need to work on? This is often the hardest part for anyone because it requires that you be completely honest with yourself about yourself. It’s the only way to be successful on this journey. Are you overweight? Do you smoke or drink too much? Are you depressed or lack self-esteem? Are you in an abusive or unhealthy relationship? Do you have a poor attitude? Are you difficult to get along with?

Once you have clearly self assessed yourself, write down the things you recognized about yourself and acknowledge they exist and need to change. Once you have done this, guess what, you have achieved goal number one: ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Acknowledgement is everyone’s first goal to achieve in this process.

Step 2 – Serenity: 

This step requires prayer. There is a prayer many of us know, but often fail to pay attention to. In Step 2 you need to ask God to grant you the strength to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know they difference. You need to add this to your prayers on a daily basis. Why is this important? Because I’m willing to bet you wrote something down in Step 1 that you have no control over and left out something that you do. Example, if you wrote down “get married” or “get a husband” as something you want to change but you’re not even dating or in a relationship, you haven’t properly self assessed yourself. Instead examine why you want a husband or why you want to get married. In Step 1 if you wrote down that you want to get a better job, but didn’t write that you need to go back to school or develop a skill to get a better job, you haven’t properly self assessed yourself. If you wrote down that you want to start a business but didn’t write that you will research business models, you haven’t properly self assessed yourself. Remember Step 1 is the root of the tree. It’s the foundation for achieving. If you didn’t write anything down, I’m here to tell you that you are in deep denial. No one is perfect and many of us aren’t striving to be. But there are at least five things we all could improve upon in order to become better individuals.

Step 3 – Identify the positive:

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every negative, there is a positive. Once you have self assessed and began to practice serenity, you can clearly identify positive behaviors to replace any negative ones you currently have. I know you’re thinking that you’ve done this before, but I guarantee you haven’t. Identifying the positive can sometimes be difficult because we spend so much time being one way, that we don’t know how to be another. Complainers complain because they don’t know how not to. Liars lie because they don’t know how to tell the truth. Over eaters overeat because they don’t know how not to. However, just like a negative behavior can begin, so can a positive one. A lot of it is about our own choices. This step may also require that you lose some friends. As much as we like to believe that everyone likes us and wants what is best for us, that just isn’t true all of the time. During your journey to a new you, there will be someone who says something negative to try to dissuade you from continuing. They will give you many reason why you won’t succeed and if you listen to them, you won’t succeed. Those people may have to be dismissed from your life, either temporarily or permanently, in order for you to reach your goals. This is another time when Step 2 will come in handy if you put it into practice.

Step 4 – Become a person of action:

Don’t talk about it, be about it. This is extremely crucial in being successful. Once you have identified the changes you can make, separated out the ones you have no control over (usually other people and their actions or inactions), you can began to seek help and start putting the positive actions into practice. Write the goals down. Put them in you iPhone, iPad, Blackberry… wherever you need to as a constant reminder. But be bold enough in your desire to achieve and take the plunge. People who run marathons started out by taking a walk. Then they made a decision to run. Next they set a goal to enter a marathon and discovered they needed to train. The same thing can be true of anything you want to change or improve in your own life. No excuses. No complaints. Treat it like Nike and just do it. Get into “training”. Train your mind, train your body, train your spirit and change your world.

Step 5 – Have fun with it:

Change doesn’t have to put a gray cloud over your life. Change can be enjoyable, adventurous and fun. Nowhere does it say that a person can’t enjoy change. Change can be hard, but change is GOOD. Without change, there is no growth. I’m speaking from experience when I say this. Keep in mind that just because you are changing doesn’t mean you have to shun others who are not. It may just mean you can’t spend a lot of your time with them. And eventually, those people may no longer remain a part of your life because their season has ended. But if someone sees that you are having an enjoyable time embracing your change instead of crying in a corner, that person might just ask you how you did it. Then you can share these steps with them and the two of you can support each other. You have now become a beacon of light in someone else’s world.

Which leads to the last step…

Step 6 – Get support:

I don’t expect any of you to achieve these goals overnight or even in a year. I’ve been doing this for years now so I can tell you it isn’t Instant-Fix-Your-Life-Mix *just add water. I don’t even want you to read this and believe that. This is a long-term plan and should be repeated every year, or as often as necessary, until you are where you want and, more importantly, need to be. Therefore, if you get stuck on any step in this process, ask for help. Get support and discuss with other like-minded people. In fact, for anyone who is bold enough, I will help you personally. If you put together your Self Assessment and email it to me at ask@superwomanproductions.com I will personally help you set goals and be a supporter of you achieving those goals.

Periodically, through my website I’m going to share with you my New Year, New You Goals and Achievements to help keep you motivated. I will show you that I live what I speak so that you will be encouraged to do the same. Anytime you see an infinity symbol on a page of my website or in a blog post you will know that was one of my goals.

The infinity symbol looks like this: ∞   

◊Happy New Year… Happy New You!