Tag Archives: accolades

This Is SO Cool

I zip through my life so fast, making plans, working hard to execute them, saving kittens, helping lost little old ladies, defending the defenseless and other super heroine activities, that I rarely get to take time off. I must plan vacations almost six months to a year in advance (when I get to take one) let alone actually enjoy any of my accomplishments. The dust has been flying fast around me for the last several months leading up to September 12, 2012. Now that the dust has settled for two seconds, I can exhale and appreciate the moment.

Yesterday, September 12, 2012, I was recognized as a Media Professional in the Real Time Media’s sixth edition of Who’s Who In Black Detroit. The book is the size of the White Pages and I’m on page 237 of the thick, beautiful book. Last night, as I listened to Cathy Nedd, Associate Publisher say that Who’s Who isn’t about the most popular or those who have name recognition, a small sense of pride began to pour over me. Then she spoke about how they want to put copies of Who’s Who In Black Detroit into the schools, so that young Black men and women can see people who look like them and came from where they are, who aren’t necessarily celebrities, yet do good things as leaders in business and in the community. Cathy Nedd was talking about all the people listed as honorees…including me.

I don’t get very excited about the things I do. It was a year ago this month that a full-page article was written about me in the Front Page Detroit, another Real Time Media publication. From where I sit, what I do is a lot of thankless work that most people will never know anything about. I don’t do it to impress people; I do it because it’s my dream – to get paid for using my talents so that I can leave corporate America, provide jobs for others and leave a legacy that Super Son and his children can be proud of. I don’t really get to think about how other people perceive what I do. There have been so many times when people minimized my work and talents, that I’ve started to exclude people’s opinions from my thought process. I’m aware that I will not be able to please the masses, no matter what I do, and I’m very well aware that many people perceive me a lot differently than I really am. Yesterday, I was also told that I’ve very humble about my accomplishments. I can honestly say that I don’t really know how to “brag“, although some may consider what I do in this blog “bragging“. I believe in doing the work.

When I got home last night, I unwrapped my copy of Who’s Who In Black Detroit, not knowing where I was in the book. I went to the Entrepreneurs section and didn’t see myself. I didn’t even think to look at the alphabetical listing by name in the back. I picked up the book and ruffled the pages with my thumb. As if I were a magician, the book stopped right on page 237 and there I was. I stopped, looked and said aloud, in my kitchen, occupied by no one else, “That’s me… This is SO cooool.” Then I called my mom. And she told me that she is proud of me. Then I went to bed.

I showed the book to some friends and acquaintances who congratulated me and spoke of how impressed they were with the quality of the book and how I had done a good job by being recognized in it. Two of my best friends called me to ask how the event went the night before. I was still not gloating about it at this point. Super Woman was thinking “now I need to step my game up so I can be worthy of recognition next year for the seventh edition“. But the little girl inside of me, who was always told she was too tall, too skinny, was a nerd and was only pretty without her glasses on, was smiling really big and saying “They are talking about me…This is SO cooool.

Today, I started to reflect on the people in my life who aren’t here anymore, but would really be proud of me, like my grandfathers, my aunts and my uncles. I started to think about the people in the media and entertainment industries who are no longer among the living like Don Cornelius and Chris Lighty, and left blueprints for me to follow and created space for me to thrive. I hope they are proud of me as well. In spite of the achievement, accomplishment, accolade, honor or whatever you choose to refer to it as, I still have much more work to do. I don’t do it for the acknowledgement, although it is very cool. I’m glad that someone thinks I’m worthy of acknowledging. For me, that’s what makes this SO cooool.

 

~ The flower doesn’t dream of the bee; the flower blooms and the bee comes. 

Written on September 13, 2012

Pop Life

Everyone wants to be a celebrity. Unfortunately, many people are willing to do any and everything to get to that goal, except working hard for it. These same people often mistaken being famous for being popular and don’t understand the responsibility that comes with being a household name. They want the flash, bang and pop of celebrity status, but fail to recognize the sacrifices that are required and the expectations that people have. Most of the celebrities that exist, didn’t initially set out to become famous. Hard work and talent mixed with decisions, situations and opportunities resulted in the outcome of celebrity status. Many of them even regret being famous because they have lost their privacy, some relationships and have been under a microscope the entire time.

Being a celebrity was once a result of talent. Now it’s a result of over exposure and nudity, with a dash of who you’re sleeping with. It’s getting to be ridiculous. And it’s happening more and more. With all the reality television shows featuring women with no particular talent at the helm, earning million dollar checks because of the man they are connected to, being a celebrity is no longer what it once was. Being a celebrity has become too easy. Everyone is doing it…or trying to. From minor children posting videos of themselves fighting on YouTube and WorldStarHipHop.com, to adults fighting and bullying each other like children on television – everyone wants face time with lights, cameras and action. But no one wants to raise the bar, be accountable for their behavior and actions, or set a real, positive example for someone else to look up to. 

In entertainment, lately everyone wants to be the most popular kid in school, because it’s easier than being the kid who gets straight As. There are lots of women (in particular) taking their clothes off for money, bent over and spread eagle in an effort to become famous. There are many men who think their good looks don’t require that they have any skills and their goal is to become a 40 year old rapper. What happended to becoming educated, starting a business or becoming an inventor? Remember the most popular kid at your school? Where are they now? Remember the kid who got straight As? Where are they now? I bet if I did a poll of all the popular kids in school compared to all of the hard-working kids in school, the kids who worked hard and got good grades (even if they weren’t straight A students), probably have had the most longevity and success in their lives and careers. I’d bet money that the ratio would be staggering. The same holds true in the world of entertainment. Longevity requires hard work.  

Hard work trumps doing things the easy way any day. Everyone I know in entertainment has paid their dues. They studied under someone more experienced when they began, they practice their craft in between performances, they are constantly seeking to learn new things and about new developments in their field, they have a mentor in the industry, and most importantly, they don’t take any of it for granted. They have longevity, many awards and accolades, but are still humble. They are humble because they know what the fly-by-night-I-wanna-be-famous-because-I-don’t-have-anything-better-to-do-celebrity seekers don’t know.

Hard work pays off and lasts longer than anything else.

Reality television stars come and go. Tabloid talk shows are more about getting ratings for the show to remain on air. Very few people who are on these shows today will be around twenty years from now and still have us talking about them. The most many of them can hope for is to be featured on a “Where Are They Now” or “One Hit Wonder” thirty minute documentary on cable five to ten years from now. The desire to become a celebrity causes many people to resort to doing almost anything because they have stars in their eyes. Often people overlook the business side of the entertainment business. They jump in head first to accept the first offer that comes their way, completely clueless to how things actually work in the entertainment business. They have convinced themselves that how good they look is the deciding factor across the industry so they don’t work  to enhance their talent or skills. This opens up the door for opportunists and predators to walk right in.  

I’m going to use the following true story as an example of an attempt by a predator:

Recently a man, who has apparently been ogling over me online, sent me several messages telling me how beautiful he thinks I am. Each time, I either didn’t reply or I said ‘thank you’ and kept it moving. A compliment is just a compliment to me. A man giving me a compliment will never get more than a ‘thank you’ from me. Hearing “you’re so beautiful“, NEVER leads to an invitation to my bedroom because I hear it all the time. The next time I received a message from this man, he asked me to video chat with him. I told him ‘no‘ [sidenote: I don’t know him from a can of paint and he was begging. Begging is a very unattractive quality in a man to me, and it is a signal that a man is obsessive and even a potential stalker. I’m always leery of men who beg to see me and meet me. It’s creepy]. Then he escalated from asking me to video chat with him to asking me to make pornography with him. I’m so serious right now. Common sense would dictate that if I wouldn’t want to video chat with him, I also wouldn’t want to have sex with him or make pornography with him either. Alas, common sense is not common. 

At this point I know that this is his “line“.  Again, I told him ‘no‘ and went back to what I was doing, thinking he would give up. I was wrong. His next message said “I can make you a star. If you want to be a star I can pay you $10,000 and even get you in Playboy. You have the best body“. I fell out laughing at this point. Obviously, this idiot uses this fuckery yes, I said fuckery – on women regularly. He has no idea who I am, what I do and his only interest is in what I look like for the sake of his personal pleasure. He thinks that because I’m an attractive woman, that I’m desperate for his attention (or anyone’s) and that I need him to make me a star. I told him, “I’m already a star and you can’t do anything for me“. Then I used my blocking software to make sure he couldn’t contact me again.

Now, maybe this man’s “line” works on women without any self-esteem, who believe it necessary to objectify themselves at the request of a man in order to become “stars“, but I don’t allow anyone to pimp me, but ME. Anything using my image will be controlled by me. I don’t care who he claims he is, or what he claims he can do. I don’t care if he was President Obama, Hugh Hefner or Calvin Johnson. Ten thousand dollars is not enough money for me to sell out, lower my standards or objectify myself at the hands of any man. That’s the devil all day. Particularly when I know that my talents will make me a millionaire one day. Plus, let’s be honest, if he had the money or the connection, he would’ve approached me in a more professional and official capacity than sending me a message like that. He was just a creepy pervert looking for a woman to victimize. Unfortunately, the next woman he tries that “line” on, might actually fall for it and put herself in a compromising position to become a “star” because it’s easier than working towards it the right way. How do I know this to be true? I see it everyday. 

That’s why I decided to facilitate the Social Networking Etiquette and Safety Workshop at the I Feel Good: Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference on August 18, 2012 at H.Y.P.E. So that I could use some of my own experiences to teach women how to handle and avoid these types of situations. And encourage them to turn towards their talents, versus their physical appearance and who their man is as the only way to succeed in this world. My workshop won’t be just for the 11 to 18 years olds either. A lot of the women falling for the okey doke are grown women also. Being the next stripper turned basketball baby mama should not be a career goal of any woman. Being a forty-year old drug dealer turned rapper should not be a career goal of any man. If that is all a person has to aspire to in life, they need to reassess and refocus their life quickly or they will wake up and have wasted a lot of time and energy desperately seeking fame the easy way with minimal positive results. There’s more to life than being famous. God-given talents should be used productively and everyone has one. How you choose to use yours can make a difference in the quality of your life and those around you.  

Prince wrote “Pop Life” years ago, about the desires and disappointments that people feel when they seek fame and fortune the easy way, and the chorus alone still rings true today. 

Everybody needs a thrill
Pop life
We all got a space 2 fill
Pop life
Everybody can’t be on top
But life it aint real funky
Unless it’s got that pop

~ Becoming instantly famous has become the new hustle for those without talent. Many of whom are hustling backwards.  – Super Woman