Tag Archives: 9/11

A Disturbance In The Force

It always amazes me how you can know a person for a very long time, then wake up one day and realize that you barely know them at all. Then there are the people who, no matter how much time or distance is between you and them, they ALWAYS know when something isn’t right with you or in your world. During those instances when someone or something has disrupted my flow or thrown something in my life out of balance, even slightly, Super Son will say “I sense a disturbance in the Force“, which for those of you familiar with Star Wars (1977), you know that is in reference to a classic line said by Obi Wan Kenobi. It may be my body language, my tone of voice or my overall mood he’s picking up on, but he’s rarely incorrect. Right now, there is definitely a disturbance in the Force.

Everyone has a least one person with the innate ability to access when you’re not 100% yourself or at your best. Everyone has that one person who is in tune with them to the degree that they can easily sense a disturbance in your Force. Whether you had a hard day at work, encountered a difficult person in the grocery store (it can’t just be me) or had a disagreement with someone you love. That ability is also referred to as empathy. It is completely natural, but not often utilized in our society because we’re often too self-centered to notice what others may be dealing with.

Lack of empathy is why some people are so quick to say that people should “get over” the verdict in the Zimmerman trial, because it wasn’t their child that was murdered. Lack of empathy is why some people are able to watch an elderly man being brutally beaten at a gas station and not make any attempt to help him or even dial 911. Lack of empathy is why some people don’t have any respect for human life. Until…they become a victim and want someone to help them.

Being empathetic towards others doesn’t make a person appear weak. If anything we have the capacity for empathy because it makes us stronger. Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for a brief period of time, can actually help you to make better decisions for yourself longterm. Knowing, even through empathy, what it is like to lose a child, a spouse or a parent can improve how you deal with others in a similar situation. Knowing, even through empathy, what it is like to have cancer, depression, dementia or even a broken heart, can help you to help others, and yourself, in the same or similar situation. Knowing, even briefly through empathy, someone else’s struggle, pain or tragedy makes for a more compassionate and understanding human being and human experience. I think we could all use a little more empathy in our lives.

This disturbance in the Force that I’m experiencing will soon be resolved and I’ll be back to my normal. Nothing lasts forever and I’m very resilient. Plus I have a lot of positive distractions I can focus my energy on. But now I know what this feels like and so does Super Son. Now, if a day ever comes and he goes through a similar experience, he will likely have this time to reference back to in order to help him through his disturbance. And may the Force be with him.

 

 

 

 

A Change Is Gonna Come

A Change Is Gonna Come. I love that song by Sam Cooke. Yes, it’s been covered by Seal and many other singers over the years. But there’s nothing like the original version. It is soul stirring and full of struggle and hope. My most influential memory of the song itself was that is was playing in the scene from the 1992 Spike Lee directed biopic Malcolm X, just prior to Malcolm entering the Audubon Ballroom where he was assassinated. Some people may have never even noticed that. For me it stood out because that day, like so many days in history, signified that a change was in fact going to come.

We’ve got so many changes taking place in our day to day lives that some of them can be very overwhelming. I’ve said many times that change is necessary for growth. Everything must change and we won’t necessarily like or understand it. However, change is a naturally recurring phenomenon in life. Change is a force. Change is a factor. Change is constant and unapologetic. It’s how we react to change that determines whether or not we grow, achieve, thrive or fail. Our ability to adapt to change determines if we fly or die.

Change is something I embrace because I know I can only control how I react and adapt to that change, regardless of what it is, where it came from or what it is the result of. It’s not always easy. In 2001 I went from married to divorced; I went from happily expecting mother of three to the single mother of one; I went from financially able to financially destitute.  All that and more happened in one year, including 9/11. It was the grace of God himself that helped me work through that and come out better, in spite of my bruises.

Now it is 2011. Ten years later and I’m still experiencing change. I’m more equipped to deal with change now because I’m both older and wiser. Although I’m not so wise that I don’t still learn from the change that I experience. This change today is a lot more positive than what I experienced ten years ago, but it can still be stressful and sometimes overwhelming. Ten years ago I felt like I was in a speeding car headed directly into a cement wall. Today, I feel like I’m in a lear jet speeding off the runway and flying to a tropical island. Big difference. But if I hadn’t experienced what I did ten years ago, I wouldn’t appreciate what I’m going through today. I have earned all the success I’ve accomplished thusfar, and all that I have yet to achieve. I’ve earned it creatively, spiritually, mentally and physically. 

I’ve made ample room for change in my life. I’m open and receptive to it on a daily basis. I’ve opened my heart to a new man. I’ve opened my arms to release my only son off to college. I’ve opened my mind to doing things creatively that others may frown upon or not be courageous enough to try. I’ve opened myself up to more possibilities, opportunities and endeavors in my business endeavors. Many of which I admit are not in my business plan; honestly, I don’t even have a business plan. This is driven by a divine business plan. So as I move forward, I remember that a change is gonna come. Tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. Each day will present a new change, a new opportunity for me to grow and become better than I was before.

Repeat after me:  Change is good.