Tag Archives: BestSuperWoman

No Sex in My City

Rejection is so difficult to take. Primarily from someone you love or care for. Especially when you know you have done your best, been yourself and given so much to that person, but they still reject you. This weekend I decided that I no longer want to be Carrie Bradshaw and he is not Mr. Big. If you’re a fan of “Sex and the City“, you know what I mean. For years Carrie and Big had this on again, off again, heartbreaking, emotional tug of war between them. I think in television time, this tug of war may have lasted for approximately ten years, beginning when Carrie was still in her thirties, and it climaxed with them finally getting married at the end of “Sex and the City: The Movie“, and becoming Mr. and Mrs. John James Preston. And yes, I was very happy for Carrie. All of her hard work and heartache had finally resulted in a return on her investment. Big had finally come to his senses and married the woman who he had cheated on his previous wife with and had dated off and on for a number of years in between enjoying his bachelor days.  At this stage in my life and in this dating game, I can’t be Carrie.

I think I may have fallen in strong “like” with someone. It started as a crush a number of years ago. But I never thought that I’d actually meet this man. Then last year, what I thought was impossible, happened. For the last nine and a half months (long enough for human beings to conceive and a woman to give birth to a baby), he and I have been Carrie and Big. He’s the same man I’ve mentioned in some of my other blogs. The major difference between us and them is that Big took Carrie out in public with him on numerous occasions. Carrie met Big’s associates, some of his friends, and they went to various types of events. In spite of Big’s issues with commitment, he seemed to enjoy spending time with Carrie and being with her publicly, and showing her affection. I was not so lucky. Two dates in public in nine and a half months. That’s all I got. That’s all he thought I was worth. His excuse? The same excuse a lot of men have. Money and the lack of it. Strangely, he had enough money to go to the movies, he played golf, and he went on trips. Not once, did he think to invite me to join him. Not once was I important enough. I invited him to attend the upcoming BravoBravo! event at the Detroit Opera House in June. He declined my invitation, telling me that he doesn’t go to parties because he’s been there, done that…blah, blah, blah. However, this past weekend, guess what he did? He went to a party. Without me. And he texted me to tell me where he was. So you can clearly see where this is going? In case you don’t, let me tell you.

I dumped him – again. Yes, I said “again”. This was already his second chance in nine and a half months. In January of this year, he asked for the opportunity to spend more time with me, but he apparently had other things he wanted from me. He obviously doesn’t care about my feelings or how his actions affect those feelings. A few weeks ago he said that people should have relationships that benefit them. He told me our [non-committed] relationship allowed him to have someone to spend his time with because he is human and needs companionship. I told him that a benefit for me would be him doing more with me and supporting my endeavors and attending parties with me, even though it’s not something he “does” anymore. He told me he’d think about that. I got his answer this weekend. His answer was to go to a party, without me.

He and I would’ve made a great team, but unfortunately for him, he has tunnel vision and doesn’t see that as a possibility. He’s more focused on his career and doesn’t notice how one area of a person’s life is connected to another. Career not where you want it to be and your personal relationships fail? There might be a connection there. Nine and a half months ago I would’ve been more than glad to have a business relationship with him had he approached me with that as an option, but he didn’t. I would’ve even been open to just having a sexual relationship, had he told me that was all he wanted. But he didn’t. Honesty ~ it’s a good thing and it allows a person to decide if they want to be bothered or not. Instead he dosed me with a facade. The same facade he dosed himself with as he told me repeatedly that sex wasn’t all he wanted from me. Amazingly, his actions reflect that sex is the only purpose he thought I served for him, whether he wants to admit it [to himself] or not. He didn’t want a committed relationship, a business relationship and he didn’t want to be seen in public with me. Those were not his words, those were his actions. Is he remorseful? Not likely. He probably feels that he hasn’t done anything wrong. He was honest about his whereabouts this weekend… so he gets a half a point for that.  But he gets an “F” for everything else.

So I did what Carrie has done to Big so many times in the past. I walked away from him. But unlike Carrie, it would probably take an Old Testament Act of God to convince me to go back. After all, this is my real life, not a character’s on television, and I lack the patience to wait for nothing to ever develop. How do I know that nothing would ever develop between me and him? Easy, it has already been nine and a half months. Men don’t need an eternity to know if they love a woman or want to have a relationship with her or not. He’s already 46 years old and I’m 36. If he doesn’t appreciate me, respect my feelings or care about hurting me today, staying around him isn’t going to convince him to change his behavior towards me. It will just give him license to continue to take advantage of me. I figure he doesn’t want me in his life today, it is unlikely to change in ten years. At the very least, this city girl, deserves someone who genuinely does want to be with me – in private and in public.

I’m Mad About It – I Want The Goodie Bag Back

They got me – again.  And I’m mad about it.  I can’t believe someone had the audacity to steal my car – again.  And I’m mad about it.  What angers me more than the theft of my vehicle (again) is the fact that copies of The Goodie Bag were in a box on the back seat that I had yet to sale to people anxiously awaiting it.  That sent me over the edge.  I went from Super Woman to She-Hulk in less than sixty seconds.  Now, they are messing with my business.  Now they are hindering my goals.  Now I’m getting angry.  And you won’t like me when I’m angry.  There are two things in this world you should never mess with; my child and my money.  Their thievery has impacted both.

They stole my little ten year plus old Chrysler that I’ve had for a little under a year now.  They took the little Chrysler car that Super Son was to inherit, and take to college with him in a few months.  They took the source of transportation for all of the things that Super Woman has to do.  Yes, they didn’t take my life; but I truly hope that car ruins theirs.  More important to me is the copies of The Goodie Bag that were on the back seat.  I want my books back.  They contribute to the security of my family’s finances.  They are my intellectual property.  They are my creativity personified.  They belong to me until I sale them to you.   

Why do thieves think they deserve to be in a car, that they didn’t pay for, when it’s less than 20 degrees outside?  What makes them think they can just take from people without ramifications?  Well, the joke is kind of on them – for a few reasons.  The car is in need of repairs.  The windshield wipers and fluid don’t work so it will be hell for them to drive in any precipitation.  The front wheel had to be recently replaced because I caught a flat, so the wheel alignment is off.  But the tire was only good enough to last a few days according to the man I bought it from.  Not good for slippery winter weather conditions.  And the spare tire is also no good so if they get another flat, they will have three tires instead of four.  Did I mention that the heat doesn’t work? I’m just saying.  They stole a bigger headache than they bargained for.  I just want The Goodie Bag back. 

I have a couple copies that people can still buy, and I plan to order more to fill any online orders that are placed.  I assure you that I’m not out of business because of this – never that.  It takes a lot more than ignorant street thieves to deter me.  It’s just a set back.  A set back is just an opportunity in work clothes (Melvin Van Peebles).  In the end I will be the one laughing at them.  If the police happen to catch and arrest them, they will go to jail.  And they could be facing civil charges as well, just because I feel like it.   Yes, I know they obviously don’t have any money or they wouldn’t have to steal.  That’s not the point.  The point is to let them know that they can’t steal from people and assume there won’t be consequences or repercussions for their actions.  And no, I don’t care about how old they are, their “situation” or their “problems”.  They apparently weren’t thinking about mine when they stole my property.   And they won’t be thinking about your’s if they come after you.

Everything happens for a reason.   I don’t know what this one is yet.  And eventually I won’t be as mad; but for now,  I want The Goodie Bag back.

I’m offering a cash reward for any legitimate information leading to the return of the remaining copies of The Goodie Bag in sellable condition.  The reward starts at one hundred dollars ($100), but will decrease every two days that go by that I don’t have The Goodie Bag in my possession.  Tweet me the info at twitter.com/BestSuperWoman.  If the information provided leads to me getting The Goodie Bag back, you’ll receive the cash.  But the longer it takes for the books to be returned, the less valuable they are to me.             

In the meantime, I’m hoovering somewhere between Super Woman and She-Hulk.  I just want The Goodie Bag back.