I am always amazed at God’s display of humor in my life. This year has been a virtual roller coaster ride and it’s only May. Every step I take feels challenged by some drama, that ends up turning into a blessing. I’ve been through so much in the last few months and sometimes fear what’s yet to come. But God doesn’t give us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). So as my book sales of “The Goodie Bag” in paperback started to lag, I made a business decision that I knew I could live with. I decided to sale a Kindle Version. Now the book is available in three formats in less than six months. Yes, I said three. You didn’t know that was even possible, did you? Next I decided to put out a Kindle Version of my short story “The Pharaoh’s Throne” which is a story about a man who defies his parents instructions to take a wife and build his kingdom with her. It has a very unexpected ending.
The spirit of power, love and a sound mind guides me when I have the worst day ever and comforts me when it’s the best day yet. It allows me to joke about marrying my Steve Maddens because I’m still single, but reminds me that is only because my Superman needs his garden weeded in order to find me. When I feel lonely because so many of my friends are married or in committed relationships and I’m not, it restores my belief and faith in love, because they are an example for me that keeps my hope intact. When I want to give up this quest to build this brand, someone I’ve never met says that I helped them with my words. Moments like that are when I feel the arms of God wrap around me and tell me I am on the right track and he will carry me until I can walk again.
I know that I was built for greatness and success. I know that my talents and gifts were given to me to entertain, inspire, motivate and serve others in a multitude of ways. I know that what I have today is just a small fraction of what I will have in days to come. I often feel that I will walk this life journey without a partner, but I’m smart enough to know that I don’t get the last word on that. It takes a very special type of man to appreciate a woman like me, regardless of how many men have tried – and failed. I know that in my life, this is true: For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more (Luke 12:48). God has breathed life into me, not once, not twice, but three times in my life. He’s given me opportunities that others haven’t been blessed with. And as a result, I have a lot of work to do and responsibility to uphold. I am not “allowed” to quit because there is more that is needed of me.
When things happen to me, I understand that many factors come into to play. Decisions I made, or didn’t make, people I’ve met that concluded their season, or had a specific reason, and the fact that God just has a sense of humor. Building of character in a human being is not an easy task. It’s not going to always be pretty. Sometimes it might even physically hurt. But when you can go through flames like I have, you grow. With that growth also comes wisdom. That wisdom gives you discernment. That discernment gives you peace.
As I think back on some of the things I’ve experienced (bad marriage, miscarriages, theft of my home/car, baby daddy drama, man troubles, everyone who tried to hinder my dreams, and countless other events), I giggle just a little bit. I giggle because I won. I giggle because I’m stronger, better and smarter because of everything I’ve dealt with. I giggle because those experiences have and will allow me to help others avoid or overcome similar situations in their lives.
I giggle because I remember when each of those things was happening to me, I was saying “God, this sh*t is not so funny.” But now in retrospect, actually, it is hilarious.