Tag Archives: BestSuperWoman

Google, We Have A Problem

There seems to be a tragic misunderstanding of what makes a person or entity relevant on the internet. If you are an artist, a business owner, a musician or a magazine publisher there’s the expectation that you should be found one specific place on the internet so that you can be booked, called or contacted. That place is not Twitter or Facebook. It’s so simple, even a two-year old could do it. It’s called Google. Yes, Google. Twitter and Facebook require that a person sign up and create an account to obtain your information. Everyone doesn’t want to become a follower or a friend in order for them to locate your store, buy your album, magazine or services. Do you realize how much you are limiting yourself, simply by NOT having a website? If you aren’t sure, think about the last time you got a call from someone who said “I saw you on Twitter today, and I wanted to know if I can buy ___.” If that’s happening to you regularly just from your tweets, then by all means, carry on. But if you’re not getting that call, you’re not as relevant as you think you are, even if you’ve hit record numbers of followers.

It doesn’t matter how many fans you have. Some of your fans aren’t as active on Twitter or Facebook as you think they are. They may actually only view your timeline or news feed once a month because that’s how often they sign on to look at their own Twitter and Facebook accounts {Side note: some of your fans are also stalkers or looky-lous and they won’t result in any profits}. Even with the increased use in smart phones, social networking is still limiting the way in which people can locate you. A fan is one thing, a consumer is something completely different. When you’re in business, which one is more important to you? A fan who becomes a consumer will buy more than your mp3 from iTunes. 

I recently pulled out some business cards people gave me and Googled all of the companies. I was utterly amazed at how many business entities, artists, singers and creatives I couldn’t find on the internet outside of Facebook and Twitter. Do all these companies and individuals want to be a secret? Do they want to make money? Do they want people to know their tour dates, office hours, and any other important information that consumers look for? You can’t even find a phone number for them to call and ask them “What is your website?” I’m going to share a business secret with you now. Smart consumers like to do a little research before they get into their cars and drive somewhere. If you operate a business, consumers may actually look for your business address online before venturing out to buy your products. However, if you don’t have a website, you prevent that from happening. And every business doesn’t have a store or static business location. Therefore, if your business is done in a nontraditional office or storefront location, being accessible online becomes even more crucial to your success.

Recently someone on Twitter sent me a link saying “how to become #1 on Google“. I replied and told them (not bragging) that I’m already #1 on Google. How do I know? I learned how to accomplish that a couple of years ago at a technology conference I attended. Unfortunately, I was one of five people of color in attendance at the conference and we were all women. I periodically Google myself [typing s u p e r w o m a n p r o d u c t i o n s]. I type it different ways and even misspell it intentionally sometimes, just to see what others might find if they do the same. My website is the first result, is listed on the first seven pages of Google results consistently and then I remain in the results up until around page thirteen. Don’t believe me? I challenge you to prove me wrong. I’ve even been re-blogged and reposted in other languages. I’m in business directories that I didn’t even know I was in. I had to tell the editor of one business directory to change their listing because they incorrectly listed my business at an address in Troy, Michigan instead of Detroit.  

I don’t know how people do it. By it I mean not exist on the internet outside of social networking sites. It’s a lot easier to co-exist within the confines of social networking than it is to be completely reliant upon it. Does anyone remember MySpace? One minute it was the hottest thing in existence. Now anyone who’s still using it exclusively needs to be put into a time machine and brought into 2012 at the speed of light. The changes that Facebook is constantly making are an attempt to remain on top of the social networking pyramid because it’s hard to be king. They are not making the changes for you. Twitter is… well, #trending, for lack of a better word. It’s fun, but you’re still limited to providing information in 140 or less characters. It can be argued that smart people can say a lot in 140 characters, but it can also be said that not being able to spell out words makes even the smartest person look stupid on Twitter.

So as an entrepreneur, I encourage anyone who calls themselves the same or sells a product or service to increase your audience outside of the constraints of social networking sites and establish a website for yourself, your products and business. If you feel like the financial investment isn’t truly worth the costs associated with establishing a real web presence, you are not serious about being in business. All serious business owners know that it takes money (time, energy and committment) to make money. And if you need help, I have a great website designer that I can refer you to. He helps keep me #1 on Google.

New Year, New You!

Every New Year, people make resolutions dependant upon habits they had the previous year. Statistically every year, those same resolutions last approximately until February 1. Making resolutions for New Years is a tradition passed down through our culture. The issue is that the ability to keep those resolutions has not be passed down as well. Personally, I don’t believe in making resolutions of any kind. I believe in making changes, making money and making a difference. As a result, every year instead of making temporary resolutions for my life, I make permanent improvements. I refer to it as my New Year, New You Personal Campaign©.

How do I do this? I self assess myself, my situation, my finances, my life and then I make firm decisions on how to correct the things I do not like and know that I have control of. I make changing things a realistic goal. Then I put an effective, realistic plan in place to achieve my goals. Sounds easy. It can be, once it is put into practice repeatedly. That’s the first key – putting it into practice. Being a person who talks about what you’re going to do is easy. Being a person of action is a little more difficult because it actually requires action on your part.

Many of my goals are related to each other or have other goals dependant upon their achievement. One of my permanent improvement goals include getting into better shape. Not that I’m overweight, but I know that I have to maintain my health and that the better I look, the better I will feel and vice versa. Plus clothes cost too much to replace them if I gain weight. I’ve been there, done that and refuse to do it again. Therefore, my regimen begins immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week – IMMEDIATELY. That is the next key –  NOT procrastinating and making excuses for putting off making those changes because you’re too busy. I know all about being busy. After all, I am Super Woman.

I’m a goal setter and go-getter. Two things that work well together. Living purpose driven is a lifestyle for me. It’s what I do and it’s something I want to pass on to others. Everyone’s purpose is going to be different, I don’t expect everyone to aspire to be me or anyone else. I expect everyone to be their best self. It’s finding your purpose that is most important and making changes in yourself is necessary to do this. As with anything new, it has to be introduced in stages. So if you’re willing to learn, I’m willing to teach. These are the steps to begin journey to a New Year, New You.

Step 1 – Self Assess:

Step 1 is the root of the tree. What things about yourself do you know you need to work on? This is often the hardest part for anyone because it requires that you be completely honest with yourself about yourself. It’s the only way to be successful on this journey. Are you overweight? Do you smoke or drink too much? Are you depressed or lack self-esteem? Are you in an abusive or unhealthy relationship? Do you have a poor attitude? Are you difficult to get along with?

Once you have clearly self assessed yourself, write down the things you recognized about yourself and acknowledge they exist and need to change. Once you have done this, guess what, you have achieved goal number one: ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Acknowledgement is everyone’s first goal to achieve in this process.

Step 2 – Serenity: 

This step requires prayer. There is a prayer many of us know, but often fail to pay attention to. In Step 2 you need to ask God to grant you the strength to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know they difference. You need to add this to your prayers on a daily basis. Why is this important? Because I’m willing to bet you wrote something down in Step 1 that you have no control over and left out something that you do. Example, if you wrote down “get married” or “get a husband” as something you want to change but you’re not even dating or in a relationship, you haven’t properly self assessed yourself. Instead examine why you want a husband or why you want to get married. In Step 1 if you wrote down that you want to get a better job, but didn’t write that you need to go back to school or develop a skill to get a better job, you haven’t properly self assessed yourself. If you wrote down that you want to start a business but didn’t write that you will research business models, you haven’t properly self assessed yourself. Remember Step 1 is the root of the tree. It’s the foundation for achieving. If you didn’t write anything down, I’m here to tell you that you are in deep denial. No one is perfect and many of us aren’t striving to be. But there are at least five things we all could improve upon in order to become better individuals.

Step 3 – Identify the positive:

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every negative, there is a positive. Once you have self assessed and began to practice serenity, you can clearly identify positive behaviors to replace any negative ones you currently have. I know you’re thinking that you’ve done this before, but I guarantee you haven’t. Identifying the positive can sometimes be difficult because we spend so much time being one way, that we don’t know how to be another. Complainers complain because they don’t know how not to. Liars lie because they don’t know how to tell the truth. Over eaters overeat because they don’t know how not to. However, just like a negative behavior can begin, so can a positive one. A lot of it is about our own choices. This step may also require that you lose some friends. As much as we like to believe that everyone likes us and wants what is best for us, that just isn’t true all of the time. During your journey to a new you, there will be someone who says something negative to try to dissuade you from continuing. They will give you many reason why you won’t succeed and if you listen to them, you won’t succeed. Those people may have to be dismissed from your life, either temporarily or permanently, in order for you to reach your goals. This is another time when Step 2 will come in handy if you put it into practice.

Step 4 – Become a person of action:

Don’t talk about it, be about it. This is extremely crucial in being successful. Once you have identified the changes you can make, separated out the ones you have no control over (usually other people and their actions or inactions), you can began to seek help and start putting the positive actions into practice. Write the goals down. Put them in you iPhone, iPad, Blackberry… wherever you need to as a constant reminder. But be bold enough in your desire to achieve and take the plunge. People who run marathons started out by taking a walk. Then they made a decision to run. Next they set a goal to enter a marathon and discovered they needed to train. The same thing can be true of anything you want to change or improve in your own life. No excuses. No complaints. Treat it like Nike and just do it. Get into “training”. Train your mind, train your body, train your spirit and change your world.

Step 5 – Have fun with it:

Change doesn’t have to put a gray cloud over your life. Change can be enjoyable, adventurous and fun. Nowhere does it say that a person can’t enjoy change. Change can be hard, but change is GOOD. Without change, there is no growth. I’m speaking from experience when I say this. Keep in mind that just because you are changing doesn’t mean you have to shun others who are not. It may just mean you can’t spend a lot of your time with them. And eventually, those people may no longer remain a part of your life because their season has ended. But if someone sees that you are having an enjoyable time embracing your change instead of crying in a corner, that person might just ask you how you did it. Then you can share these steps with them and the two of you can support each other. You have now become a beacon of light in someone else’s world.

Which leads to the last step…

Step 6 – Get support:

I don’t expect any of you to achieve these goals overnight or even in a year. I’ve been doing this for years now so I can tell you it isn’t Instant-Fix-Your-Life-Mix *just add water. I don’t even want you to read this and believe that. This is a long-term plan and should be repeated every year, or as often as necessary, until you are where you want and, more importantly, need to be. Therefore, if you get stuck on any step in this process, ask for help. Get support and discuss with other like-minded people. In fact, for anyone who is bold enough, I will help you personally. If you put together your Self Assessment and email it to me at ask@superwomanproductions.com I will personally help you set goals and be a supporter of you achieving those goals.

Periodically, through my website I’m going to share with you my New Year, New You Goals and Achievements to help keep you motivated. I will show you that I live what I speak so that you will be encouraged to do the same. Anytime you see an infinity symbol on a page of my website or in a blog post you will know that was one of my goals.

The infinity symbol looks like this: ∞   

◊Happy New Year… Happy New You!

Counting The Blessings In My Fab Single Life

I was born and I’ve almost died (more than once). I was in more than my fair share of car accidents and I’m told I am lucky to be able to walk. I’ve been married and I’ve gotten divorced. I’ve had a child and I’ve lost children. I’ve been engaged and proposed to. I’ve had long term and short term relationships. I’ve been the other woman and I’ve been one of many women. I’ve owned businesses that have done well and have failed. I’ve made a lot of money and I’ve lost a lot of money. I’ve struggled and I’ve persevered. I’ve fallen down and I’ve started over. I’ve learned a lot and I’ve forgotten some things. I’ve loved deeply and I’ve been loved. I’ve had my heart broken and I’ve broken a few hearts. I’ve traveled and I’ve seen black sand and white sand beaches.

I’ve met influential people. I’ve walked red carpets and had my picture taken. I’ve had sex with famous men and I’ve had dinner with ‘average joes’. I’ve been flown across the country for romantic weekends and I’ve stayed in for romantic weekends. I’ve been kissed like I’ve never been kissed before, and I’ve been held close and tight with nothing more. I have friends and I have family. I have friends who are like family. If I were to die tomorrow, I know someone would plan my cremation and someone would come to my funeral.

I’ll be thirty seven years young soon. I have LIVED more than some people twice my age have. Although I still have more to accomplish towards my career goals, I am proud of me. If I happen to never get married again, or have another relationship, I’m actually fine with that.

Don’t cry for me because I’m single. When I’m an old woman, I’m going to have a lot of events and experiences to remember that many women will never get the chance to have. I will be able to sit on my porch with my grandchildren, smile and rock, knowing that I have lived a full, fabulous, single life; one that many would envy. If I can proclaim that today, imagine what I will have done by the time I’m forty seven years young. By that time, I will be able to add that I have also changed the world of media and entertainment, leaving something for the next generation to aspire to.

There’s nothing particularly “special” about me. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. I’m not the sexiest, the smartest, or the wealthiest woman either [I’m not wealthy at all, in fact. I’m struggling just to become financially “comfortable“]. I don’t own anything spectacular or trendy; there aren’t any custom Louboutin shoes or Hermes scarves in my wardrobe. I’ve never been on TMZ and I haven’t married anyone famous. I don’t always do what’s popular and I despise being like everyone else. I’m just one person that God bestowed greatness upon. I was literally born to do great things (December 25th is my birthday). So if an ordinary woman, such as myself, can become known as Super Woman by using my talents in a humble attempt to live within my purpose, just imagine what you can also do if you strive to live with purpose.  

That is why on Saturday, December 17, 2011 at 8 pm, I’m CELEBRATING ANOTHER YEAR OF BEING FABULOUS at L!V Resto Lounge in Detroit, MI.  I’ve sent my Subscribers, Tweeties and Facebook Fans/Friends an exclusive invitation to attend this event. I have good news in abundance for the new year that I’d like to share as well. So check your email, your Facebook and follow me on Twitter @BestSuperWoman to get the information. RSVP is required and admittance is not guaranteed without it. 

Russell Simmons Doesn’t Know My Name

Sometimes I forget all of the things I’m capable of writing. Even though I constantly receive rejection from online news publications and magazines who claim they are looking for writers who are able to write about a variety of subjects or one subject specifically, I know that I’m a damn good writer. I know how to research a subject thoroughly. I know how to add statistical information without making the work boring and I can add humor when needed to keep it from being too serious. I know how to make people think, whether they agree with me or not. I know things about writing that you don’t learn in school. Things you can only learn from experience and by being given the gift.  

I’m working so diligently at trying to find a place to showcase my abilities to the rest of the world, that I forgot that I’ve already been published by GlobalGrind.com. I wrote two articles in 2010 in hopes of acquiring a long term freelance position as a blogger with the company. Unfortunately, GlobalGrind.com has since decided to no longer enlist the aid of “average” individuals to write blogs and have recruited celebrities to write blogs about themselves and each other. In a way, some would argue that I still qualify (as a celebrity), but Russell Simmons doesn’t know my name, therefore, I’m not a celebrity (yet). But that doesn’t bother me at all.  

That’s pretty much how it is. If people don’t know you, they aren’t often willing to take you seriously. They won’t meet with you and they won’t take the time to find out about you. You have to be “popular”, like a Kardashian. It’s called name recognition. I’m concentrating more on Brand recognition. I think that is better in the long run. It lasts longer and is often missed more if it disappears. I don’t want to be known for just one thing (writing erotic fiction), which is why I blog on this website. I want to be known as the masthead for a diverse media brand. The more exposure I’m able to obtain the better it is for The Brand, but at the same time, everything isn’t a part of the Master’s Plan. My route to success if going to be harder than that of someone who happened to fall into success overnight or by being discovered.

I’ve started on my novel “He’s A Problem” and on “The Goodie Bag II“. But I’m taking a short break from literary fiction to write spec scripts for television shows. I will pick up where I left off on “He’s A Problem” and “The Goodie Bag II” soon. That the power of being the boss; I can change my own deadlines. I’ve got a ton of ideas for stage plays and movie scripts as well. Plus a notebook full of book topics. There’s enough talent and creativity bottled up inside of me to keep Super Woman Productions and Publishing in business for years and years to come. I’m just waiting on people to notice. I’m also waiting for us to begin to use the technology that we buy to do more than update our Facebook status.  

As I read the “rejection” emails from entities like Examiner.com, I realize that I’m not being rejected by them. They are being rejected by me. They aren’t ready for me. They aren’t the catalyst necessary to further my purpose. They will one day become nonexistent because they are not an example of diversity. They are the same thing, recycled in a slightly different package. A year ago, I attended a technology conference where there were only three African Americans in the whole room. And we were all women. The conference gave highlights and previews of what I’m seeing come to fruition in today’s technology marketplace and online environment, including the implementation of Google+. I integrated Google+ into this website even prior to having my Google account upgraded. That’s called forward thinking.   

Instead of being the next trending topic or dying fad, I’m striving to break the molds. All of them. Repeatedly. From the screen on your smart phone to the motion picture screen. I encourage people to open their minds as they follow me on this journey. The Super Woman Brand will become more than what you’ve seen so far and more than you’ve seen from others in the industry. Russell Simmons doesn’t know my name today. But one day soon, he will want to.

In the meantime, check out the two articles I wrote for GlobalGrind.com last year by clicking the links below.  

I Ain’t Mad At Nicki Minaj  

The Case for King James

 

Miami Donkey

As I sat and watched the season three opening episode of “Basketball Wives” on VH1, my eyes widened as I got exactly what I sat down for: Irrefutable evidence that there are donkeys in Miami. In the hood, a donkey is a female who has a large behind or someone who is a complete idiot. In this case I’m referring to the latter definition. In the season opener we discover that during hiatus, Evelyn Lozada has decided to brand the term she so eloquently used against Tami Roman in the previous season – You’re a non MoFo factor, b*tch!  – and put it on t-shirts. I applaud Lozada’s entrepreneurial spirit and obvious attempt to get more people to know who she is. But here’s the problem. We already know she’s the jilted ex-fiancée of a former basketball player and now the fiancée of a professional football player who loves to brand himself so much he changed his last name to his jersey number (I didn’t see a ring on her finger. Tweet me if you did @BestSuperWoman), and we know she’s a hot mess. Isn’t that enough? Apparently not.

For awhile I honestly did think that Lozada was just misunderstood and was really probably a nice person once the cameras stopped rolling. Now, she seems more like a downright mean opportunist. She made the t-shirt decision when cameras weren’t rolling and for some strange reason she actually thought it was a “good idea”. Really? Only to a donkey. The now infamous quote is not one of endearment. It only has negative connotations. And to agree with Roman, Lozada was really the non MoFo factor, because she has never been a wife. I don’t want to say she’s just a glorified jump off, but she might be that, too. For her to then explain her decision to Roman, offer to give money to Roman’s foundation and then accuse Roman of being the reason people thinks she’s a home wrecker is very much donkey-like. Lozada obviously forgot that she put herself out for the world to judge when she told Roman she had slept with her husband while they were married. Once that information came to light last season, I looked at Lozada cross-eyed. Is she one of those women who only dates professional athletes? If so, that is also donkey-like. What’s interesting is that Lozada has the attention of one of the wealthiest men in sports right now and she met him on Twitter. That doesn’t happen in real life. Trust me on that.

I once tweeted Ochocinco and told him that he needed a woman who can cook. He’s always posting pictures of meals he’s eating at restaurants and fast food spots. I think he misunderstood me. I meant a woman who can cook in the kitchen, not through his bank account. But Ochocinco made his decision and he wants to be with her. Since Lozada’s adult life seems to have revolved around the success of the men she’s dated, I’d say she’s pretty lucky to have met him. But that’s not enough for her. Here’s what I discovered. Someone else has beat Lozada to making the t-shirts. I’m dead serious (see photo provided below). If she had really been smart she would’ve applied for the copyright to the phrase instead. That’s the difference between an entrepreneurial mind like mine and a donkey mind like Lozada’s.

Sometimes women as so accustomed to losing that they don’t know that they have already won. Lozada is attractive at her 35 years young (I’m older than she is), has money coming from somewhere because she’s carrying Hermes Berkin bags and Vuitton purses (Vuittons you can rent, but Berkins you cannot), financing a shoe store that makes me think of dessert where shoes cost $600 a pair, and she might actually make it to the alter this time. For some women, that’s the ideal life (both of my hands raised). Lozada’s decision to capitalize off of her quote that resulted in a very public, unscripted ass whooping is not a good business decision. It is donkey-like. Which goes to show that no matter how pretty someone is, or how much money they have, you can dress them up and put diamonds on them but they are still a jackass. Plus, her shirts aren’t even cute.    

this is the shirt that someone else has already made and marketed online for sale

 

(my fans know I rarely post more than one blog a day, but this had to be said.)

No Sex in My City

Rejection is so difficult to take. Primarily from someone you love or care for. Especially when you know you have done your best, been yourself and given so much to that person, but they still reject you. This weekend I decided that I no longer want to be Carrie Bradshaw and he is not Mr. Big. If you’re a fan of “Sex and the City“, you know what I mean. For years Carrie and Big had this on again, off again, heartbreaking, emotional tug of war between them. I think in television time, this tug of war may have lasted for approximately ten years, beginning when Carrie was still in her thirties, and it climaxed with them finally getting married at the end of “Sex and the City: The Movie“, and becoming Mr. and Mrs. John James Preston. And yes, I was very happy for Carrie. All of her hard work and heartache had finally resulted in a return on her investment. Big had finally come to his senses and married the woman who he had cheated on his previous wife with and had dated off and on for a number of years in between enjoying his bachelor days.  At this stage in my life and in this dating game, I can’t be Carrie.

I think I may have fallen in strong “like” with someone. It started as a crush a number of years ago. But I never thought that I’d actually meet this man. Then last year, what I thought was impossible, happened. For the last nine and a half months (long enough for human beings to conceive and a woman to give birth to a baby), he and I have been Carrie and Big. He’s the same man I’ve mentioned in some of my other blogs. The major difference between us and them is that Big took Carrie out in public with him on numerous occasions. Carrie met Big’s associates, some of his friends, and they went to various types of events. In spite of Big’s issues with commitment, he seemed to enjoy spending time with Carrie and being with her publicly, and showing her affection. I was not so lucky. Two dates in public in nine and a half months. That’s all I got. That’s all he thought I was worth. His excuse? The same excuse a lot of men have. Money and the lack of it. Strangely, he had enough money to go to the movies, he played golf, and he went on trips. Not once, did he think to invite me to join him. Not once was I important enough. I invited him to attend the upcoming BravoBravo! event at the Detroit Opera House in June. He declined my invitation, telling me that he doesn’t go to parties because he’s been there, done that…blah, blah, blah. However, this past weekend, guess what he did? He went to a party. Without me. And he texted me to tell me where he was. So you can clearly see where this is going? In case you don’t, let me tell you.

I dumped him – again. Yes, I said “again”. This was already his second chance in nine and a half months. In January of this year, he asked for the opportunity to spend more time with me, but he apparently had other things he wanted from me. He obviously doesn’t care about my feelings or how his actions affect those feelings. A few weeks ago he said that people should have relationships that benefit them. He told me our [non-committed] relationship allowed him to have someone to spend his time with because he is human and needs companionship. I told him that a benefit for me would be him doing more with me and supporting my endeavors and attending parties with me, even though it’s not something he “does” anymore. He told me he’d think about that. I got his answer this weekend. His answer was to go to a party, without me.

He and I would’ve made a great team, but unfortunately for him, he has tunnel vision and doesn’t see that as a possibility. He’s more focused on his career and doesn’t notice how one area of a person’s life is connected to another. Career not where you want it to be and your personal relationships fail? There might be a connection there. Nine and a half months ago I would’ve been more than glad to have a business relationship with him had he approached me with that as an option, but he didn’t. I would’ve even been open to just having a sexual relationship, had he told me that was all he wanted. But he didn’t. Honesty ~ it’s a good thing and it allows a person to decide if they want to be bothered or not. Instead he dosed me with a facade. The same facade he dosed himself with as he told me repeatedly that sex wasn’t all he wanted from me. Amazingly, his actions reflect that sex is the only purpose he thought I served for him, whether he wants to admit it [to himself] or not. He didn’t want a committed relationship, a business relationship and he didn’t want to be seen in public with me. Those were not his words, those were his actions. Is he remorseful? Not likely. He probably feels that he hasn’t done anything wrong. He was honest about his whereabouts this weekend… so he gets a half a point for that.  But he gets an “F” for everything else.

So I did what Carrie has done to Big so many times in the past. I walked away from him. But unlike Carrie, it would probably take an Old Testament Act of God to convince me to go back. After all, this is my real life, not a character’s on television, and I lack the patience to wait for nothing to ever develop. How do I know that nothing would ever develop between me and him? Easy, it has already been nine and a half months. Men don’t need an eternity to know if they love a woman or want to have a relationship with her or not. He’s already 46 years old and I’m 36. If he doesn’t appreciate me, respect my feelings or care about hurting me today, staying around him isn’t going to convince him to change his behavior towards me. It will just give him license to continue to take advantage of me. I figure he doesn’t want me in his life today, it is unlikely to change in ten years. At the very least, this city girl, deserves someone who genuinely does want to be with me – in private and in public.