Tag Archives: Detroit

Super Woman Resigns

Quitting is not an option for a superhero. At least, it’s not supposed to be. One of the reasons I’m called Super Woman is because of my persistence, regardless of any adversity. I keep pushing forward and fighting obstacles, trying to resolve issues whenever I believe that it is possible to do so. I make the impossible possible even though I can’t explain how. I don’t know if it’s because I’m resourceful or blessed, or a combination of both. Sometimes I think it’s because I’m crazy, other times I think it’s a gift and a curse. The one thing I do know is this – It’s a thankless, tiring job, to say the least. I once thought that being a parent was the most thankless job in the world. But it isn’t. Being a good, reliable person is the number one thankless job. Always being the she-ro to others isn’t easy at all, I just make it look like it is. I rarely hear “thank you” or “good job“. People rarely call me and ask if I’m okay or if I need anything. When I am tired, there is no sidekick I can call. When I’m sick, everything comes to a screeching halt. When I am in need, there’s no one I can turn to because I’m everyone else’s she-ro. On more than one occasion people whom I have “saved” have turned their backs on me in my time of need and berated me to others behind my back saying things like, “she’s nobody special” or “I never liked her“, yet they smile and tee-hee-hee in my face asking for my help to improve their lives. When I cut them off because they are ungrateful I become the villain.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury of quitting like I would really like to.

Why?

Because if I quit, who is going to do it? Of course, it’s easy to say that someone else CAN do it, but the question is WILL they? Honestly, I don’t think other people would step up and do the things I do. If someone else were both willing and capable, I doubt people would ask me to complete the task in the first place. When I think about how we view our Superheroes, both “real” and fictional, I realize that Superheroes get a raw deal no matter what. Superheroes have minimal private lives. Superheroes are expected to be able to handle what ‘normal‘ humans can not. Superheroes never get a day off.  Superheroes are expected to confront villains on their own turf and defeat them. Superheroes are expected to start and end sh*t while they rescue kittens with both hands tied behind their backs during thunderstorms. 

Well, maybe I don’t want to be “super” anymore.

Being “super”  comes with the burden that people believe that you don’t need them for anything, so they never approach a situation with committment. People often assume that because I’m “super” that everyone else –  besides them –  will be there for me when the time comes, so they don’t have to. I’ve experienced this in my personal and professional lives. In my personal life, there have been many men that have told me that they never asked me out on a Saturday night because they assumed I already had a date. They never called and asked, they just assumed. As a result, I grew accustomed to going places and doing things by myself socially 99% of the time. If it weren’t for all the “honey, where’s your date?” questions from socialites and their husbands, I would be perfectly comfortable in any situation alone.

Professionally people always disappoint me and rarely if ever apologize for doing so. They think it’s okay because they assume that I can do it without them anyway. They assume that there are enough other people who will do the work or attend the event, that them not being there won’t be noticeable. That is what is happening now. Sequins & Suits is being cancelled because everyone is assuming that everyone else will attend, volunteer, assist and sponsor so they don’t have to. They assume that their few dollars won’t matter anyway, so why even try. As a result, it will take a miracle and a half to pull off the I Feel Good: Mind, Body & Soul Women’s Conference a few months from now. Which, by the way, I’m considering cancelling now to prevent me from being disappointed again later. After all, no one feels it’s that important anyway or they’d be doing something to help it come to fruition.  

People are selfish. People are hypocrites. They don’t care about anything or what happens to anyone else, until something happens to them. When something happens to them, their child, their parent, their school or their nonprofit organization they want everyone to rally on their behalfBut when someone else needed you before that tragedy happened, where were you? I was trying to adjust that selfish mindset and do so in an entertaining way. But no one cares. I was trying to do something preventative to uplift young women at an early age. But no one cares. A teacher told me this weekend that there is a 10-year-old girl in her school who is pregnant. Those are the young women I’m trying to reach before they get pregnant. But no one cares. Maybe I’m just not popular or dramatic enough for people to pay attention.

Detroiters don’t care, but want to cry and beg for help when things get worse. What were you doing before things got worse? Oh, I know. You were assuming someone else would do it so you wouldn’t have to. You were assuming that someone “super” would swoop in and rescue the kitten.  

Well, I’m not doing it anymore. This is my new manifesto:

I will not plan any charitable events or large-scale social events in the city of Detroit ever again out of the kindness of my heart, for the greater good or because it is the right thing to do. If anyone wants me to use my “super” powers and save the day in the city of Detroit, you will have to pay me to do it. I will consider planning events in other urban cities like Chicago, New York and Atlanta, but they will have to pay me too. I’ll host your Detroit event, but you will have to pay me. I’m not going to support anyone who doesn’t support meprofessionally and personally. I’m not even buying a membership to your organization if it doesn’t directly benefit me. I’m no longer investing my money, my energy or time to do anything for people who don’t care or reciprocate.

If people in the city of Detroit don’t have the mindset to see the value in what I do or what I offer, I can’t force them to. If people in the city of Detroit don’t appreciate my efforts, I can’ t force them to. Therefore, it’s in my own best interest to only do what I need to do for myself, my family and my company. I’ve prayed all I can pray and I’ve done all that I’m capable of doing at this time. When the people of the city of Detroit wake up and start caring about something more than following trends, and doing the same old fuckery they’ve always done, maybe I’ll start giving out of the kindness of my heart again.

Until then, I quit.      

Not that anyone will even notice.     

Fashion…Not Forward

This weekend I attended a fashion show in Detroit. There were many beautiful pieces presented by different designers presented. HOWEVER… sadly, there were also many lessons on what NOT to do when presenting yourself to the public. The first lesson was punctuality. Some of us still haven’t mastered the idea of truly starting on time; particularly when people are paying us. The 8 pm fashion show didn’t start until well after 9 pm.  During this long lag time, they didn’t offer anyone anything for the inconvenience. No free drinks, no backup entertainment to fill the void, except for a DJ who was obviously playing his ‘runway” set, no stand up comedy – nothing. I caught a few people taking a nap right in their VIP seats along the runway. For other businesses, this would be considered poor customer service.

Another lesson that could be learned was putting your models in danger by not making sure they have a safe runway to walk on. The elevated runway was carpeted, with a sheet of shiny gift wrap…or aluminum foil, I’m not sure which… down the center of it, that wasn’t tacked down, so it kept moving out of place. At the front of the runway, from where the models took their first steps, was a weak stepladder for the models to use to step up on the runway. The majority of models were wearing six inches or higher stilettos. Further, as one model walked down the runway, the next model stood at the beginning, and they passed each other on the catwalk. Did I mention that these were plus size models? During the show at least three models lost their balance and several punctured the gift wrap laid before them like a silver brick road. Even the event hostesses Christina Mendez was leery of the runway and she’s a professional model with many accolades. For any other business, this would be considered unsafe working conditions.

The next lesson was on improper fitting clothes. I don’t fault the designers for wanting to sell the garments after the show, therefore they didn’t tailor the clothing to fit each model. HOWEVER…that’s what double-sided tape and safety pins are for. The back of dresses shouldn’t have gaps, whether the model is a size two or a size twenty-two. Then there was the makeup. Every clothing look shouldn’t have the same makeup look. This caused the models to all look like mannequins. Mannequins who didn’t smile because they were fearfully watching every step they took on the runway. The there were the undergarments worn by the models. Why could I see bras on open-backed dresses and panties under swimwear and lingerie? Has anyone heard of thongs and low back/backless bras? For any other business, this would be considered poor marketing.

As pretty as many of the clothes were, all of these before mentioned “lessons” were a distraction for anyone who noticed. Many of these issues could have been corrected had there been a creative director, or even someone more experienced in the production of fashion shows, on staff. If either of these people were behind the scenes… well, I’ll just say this: when you know better, you do better. All of these fashion show lessons made me think about my upcoming photo shoot and what I need to make sure I don’t do. I’ve very particular about the standards that I set for my public and professional image. Even when it comes to writing erotica, how I’m viewed matters to me. So now, I’m double checking how the clothes selected for my photo shoot fit me and I’m making sure that I have the appropriate undergarments for every single outfit.

This fashion show also made me think about how I want the fashion show for the upcoming I Feel Good: Mind, Body & Soul Women’s Conference to be handled. I already have an actual foremost fashion stylist to the stars on deck to make sure things are done correctly,and with style and class. Having a small amount of modeling experience myself, I’m going to make sure that the models feel comfortable on the runway as well. My first goal is to show young women what they can wear for many occasions and outings that won’t embarrass themselves or their parents. My second goal is to show adult women that regardless of their age, size and shape that they can be sexy and attractive, while also being age and shape appropriate. My next goal is to put on a good show without any potential mishaps that would cause people to fall on to the floor or on top of anyone else. My final goal is to assist young women to strive for all of the positive opportunities that living a purpose driven life can provide. So this summer, if all goes well, and I obtain a lot more sponsorships (because money is needed for this to be successful), I hope that we’ll be taking fashion a step forward from what I witnessed this past weekend.

The name of the fashion show and participating designers have been omitted from this blog to protect them from potential embarrassment.

Are We There Yet?

To answer my own question…not yet. This is an unknown journey that I’m on. Many of my mornings start as early as 4:30 am now. My alarm goes off an hour later. I’m tired a lot of days and fall asleep with my laptop or notes on my lap many nights. I awaken only to turn the television, that has been watching me while I sleep, off. Everything feels like it’s moving at the speed of light lately. My fan base is growing, which is noticeable in the amount of hits this website receives, as well as how many views I get on my YouTube Channel. I have more LinkedIn connections than I know what to do with and Twitter has introduced me to people who I didn’t even know knew I existed. I’m getting so much love and encouragement from already successful people, and even celebrities, telling me to continue pressing forward. People in the entertainment industry that I’ve been a fan of, are now apart of my support system. Just like you all are. I don’t consider you fans anymore. You’re my supporters. Fans are the people who only like my pictures, but have no idea what I do.

It’s almost the end of February 2012 and I’ve already seen my business begin to shift into a more positive, and potentially profitable, direction ∞. But I’m still not there yet. Creatively, ideas are flowing, but I lack time. There are only 24 hours in a day and eight of those I give to Corporate America daily. Unfortunately, I can’t leave Corporate America yet. Bills still need to be paid and like many other people, I require consistent income. Super Son is in college and tuition isn’t cheap. Plus, I feel God telling me it’s not the right time to leave Corporate America – yet. When He tells me differently, I’ll bolt for the door, and I won’t ever look back. That’s, after all, one of my many motivations – to develop financial security doing what I want, what I love and what I am talented in.

But I’m still not there yet. That’s the burden of an overachiever. I want, need and strive for more. Bigger, better, faster, harder, stronger, smarter…

I hired one employee this year. That’s quite an achievement for me. I hired a Personal Assistant. She’s valuable to me and I hope that I can teach her enough about business that she will have a foundation towards her future career. I don’t expect her to stay with me forever. I expect her to grow and evolve into her own dreams and career. And I’m going to try not to get on her nerves too much. I know that I can be difficult to work for because my standards are extremely high. When you’re a one woman show, there’s a lot at risk involved, therefore the standards should be high because it’s your shoulders that carry the weight.

But I’m still not there yet. I want to be in a better position to hire additional staff and provide additional opportunities, so that my business can eventually grow to become nationally recognized. Detroit is home base so I’m beginning here.   

Opportunities are coming. FAST. Some of which I have to continue to keep under wraps for a little while longer, but I promise it will be worth the wait. One opportunity I can share now is that I’ve been asked to become a permanent on air radio personality (aka Co-host) on the Kelly’s Kitchen Radio Show. If you’re not familiar with it, Kelly’s Kitchen is a internet-based radio show that I’ve been on a few times as a guest and as a host. It was started by Kelly White and Kalu Jones, here in Detroit on WHPR (Highland Park) a few years back. The show is Kelly’s dream child. I am now the First Lady on the team. If you haven’t listened to the show before now, I hope that you will become a regular. It airs every Saturday night at 9 pm EST on www.svmixradio.com. You can also listen to it on your smart phone.

But I’m still not there yet.

But this is a good start. Even though I lose a lot of sleep, I struggle with dating (which is going to make a great novel one day soon) as a result I come home to an empty house, I still have a great deal that I’m thankful for. And I appreciate all of you who take time out of your days to keep up with my crazy world.

The best part about getting there is still unknown to me now. But I’m really looking forward to finding out. I hope you will continue to lend me your support along the way.

Smooches!

 

My Plans For Super World Domination Start Here

I’m working diligently with my best friend to coordinate the events for the I Feel Good: Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference. I’m proud to say that the plans are going very well. There are always minor hiccups in any plan when you’re dealing with people, such as schedules and finances, but overall I’m very pleased with what is developing thus far. As with anything I do, I think it can be better. I admit that I have some personal issues to contend with where this conference is concerned. Contrary to what anyone may think, this conference is not just about me.  I don’t want people to think that I’m out for myself in this attempt. It wasn’t even my idea. Yes, it’s my Brand, my image, my reputation and my name associated with it, and I’m going to be held accountable if it’s an epic failure and praised if it is a success. However, this is more about the young women in the community who need to see that women can do more than pose nearly nude in mens magazines, strip at strip clubs and have sex with famous men to become famous and rich. It’s about the young women who unfortunately don’t know better and need to see examples of adult women who are successful, fashionable, educated and talented who didn’t get there because of who their father is, who their stepfather is, who their baby daddy is, or who their husband is – but instead, they climbed ladders and over walls because of who they are as women and what they contribute to this world.  It’s about helping young women to define their own beauty beyond how big their behinds are or aren’t, whether their hair is natural or not and showing them examples of beautiful women who look just like them and come in all shapes, sizes and complexions. It’s about showing them that beautiful women are in every industry and that we possess a multitude of talents and knowledge. It’s about redefining our worth, our image and empowering ourselves, so that even if a young woman decides to pose in a mens magazine she does so knowing the ramifications and she (hopefully) owns the copyright to her photos [everyone won’t do what we think they should all the time, but let’s take baby steps towards something a little more positive].

I want to encourage more woman-ownership, more women in television, more women on reality shows that got to where they are on their own.  There are too many women on television who are only famous because of semen. Yes, that’s what I said. This is not a kiddie website, so let’s be honest. Kim Kardashian, Amber Rose, all of the Basketball Wives, all of the Baseball Wives and all but three cast members of Love and Hip Hop are famous only because of who the men are in their lives. We wouldn’t know who any of them were otherwise.

{Flashback} Remember when women were famous for being talented? Remember when models actually wore clothes in magazines?

I miss those days.

I also want to use this conference to bring more awareness to some of the dangers that young women face and obstacles that they have to endure. We know, but sometimes I feel like we’re too tolerant of what happens to young women as if it’s normal. Young women being raped, abused, kidnapped, killed and going missing is becoming too prevalent. Not just where young Black women or poor young women are concerned. Please don’t think there are color lines drawn here, because there aren’t. This is about woman-kind in general. Our socio-economic and racial differences no longer protect us from harm.

So when I say that I have personal issues where this conference is concerned I truly mean it. This is my Super World. What I do, what I”m working towards in media and what I see possible in this world is personal for me. However, I don’t want my Super World to only have a handful of women in it. I want to help cultivate a generation of Super Women and Super Girls. I want a legacy of a League of Super Women who make a difference in their communities and in the lives of other young women through media and outreach. I want the I Feel Good: Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference to grow larger and more popular every year, and last long after I’m no longer here. I take this very personal.

This is MY Super World, but it’s not here just for me. I’m striving for world media domination and I want to build this empire, then pass the torch one day and retire. I’m extremely thankful to everyone stepping up to facilitate workshops and volunteer. We are still in need of more volunteers, we also need financial sponsors, media partners, and vendors who have products and services related to the focus and purpose of the conference. If you’d like information please email us using the Contact Us form on this website or send an email to events@superwomanproductions.com with CONFERENCE  in the subject and provide us with your information and tell us what your interest is (vendor, sponsors, volunteer). A separate website is being developed specifically for the conference in a few weeks. I also need your prayers to keep me focused and energized towards fulfillment of this purpose that is completely in the Master’s Plans. This isn’t easy, not even for Super Woman.

My plans for Super world domination start here, but they don’t end here.      

The WRONG One

In this economy people are willing to do a lot of things they normally wouldn’t do to make ends meet. Some people look for creative ways to make money. Some people look for enterprising ways to make money. Some of those things may even be considered morally wrong. Some people even stoop to doing things that are illegal. Some people are predatory and offer “options” to people and take advantage of their need to make more money. A person’s individual boundaries are their own to live with and so are the ramifications of their choices. My boundaries are firmly set. Regardless of how much I need money, there are just certain things I’m unwilling to do. I will not rob an old lady of her social security benefits. I will not attempt a Nigerian bank scam (why do they even continue to try?) and I will not take my clothes off for men I don’t know. I have the tendency think about my future goals and aspirations and how doing certain things can deter those goals and aspirations. That allows me to keep a reasonably cool head even in the face of stupidity.

The last boundary I previously mentioned, is the subject of this blog. This week, I received a message from a man on Facebook asking me if I’d be interested in burlesque dancing with a blues shows in a downtown Detroit bar. Instantly, I was offended. I didn’t know this man from Adam. He wasn’t a Facebook friend, an acquaintance or anyone that I’d had any interaction with at all. He obviously didn’t know anything about me. I replied to him, “Nothing on my Facebook profile, or website says I’m a burlesque dancer, a stripper or exotic dance, so why would you ask me that?” That question was actually rhetorical. I already knew that he assumed I would “strip” for money because of whatever his misogynistic ideas are related to women, along with the stereotypical belief that an attractive woman  doesn’t have any brains. He also believed that women in general are willing to take our clothes off for money because times are hard. Therefore, anything he said, would definitely not surprise me.

His response was “I apologize if that sounded rude. Burlesque is classy entertainment. I thought you were affiliated with modeling or some form of entertainment”. To me that was hilarious. Here’s why. Of course asking a woman you don’t know to take her clothes off for men she doesn’t know is RUDE, I don’t care if it’s burlesque or ballet. Secondly, being ‘affiliated with modeling or some form of entertainment’ doesn’t mean getting naked for men you don’t know. We don’t all have to resort to that and many of us don’t. I told him that what I found “rude” was that for some reason he assumed that the entertainment I’m involved in relates to taking my clothes off at a bar. Obviously this small minded man thought that in order for a woman to be involved in modeling or entertainment, she must either be naked or nearly naked, in order to be considered a “model” or “entertainer”. Last I checked serious models and entertainers don’t have “I will take my clothes off in a bar” on their resume.  

I told my boyfriend about this exchange. His first response when I told him the man’s initial words to me was “Uh, oh. He picked the wrong one”. What my boyfriend knows is this; I’m not that caliber of woman and I don’t accept men saying offensive and disrespectful things to me, simply because they think they can. I don’t believe what a woman is wearing defines her character or her worth. It’s that woman’s actions that matter most. Therefore, if a woman isn’t behaving like a hooker, you can’t call her a hooker because you think she’s dressed like one. It might be Halloween or a bad fashion choice, not a profession that she’s exhibiting in her attire. The truth is, as women, it doesn’t matter what we wear or don’t. There’s always some idiot who thinks women are only good for what’s between our legs because that’s the limitation of their braincells. Yes, there are pictures of me that are sexy and sensual related to the marketing of “The Goodie Bag“, but I could have been completely covered up from head to toe in a  berka and that man would’ve still sent me the same message. Because that is what he thinks women are worth – dancing at bars without clothes for men that they don’t know.

By the way, I also told him had he done his due diligence prior to sending me that message in the first place, he would’ve discovered that I am an entrepreneur, publisher and author and the picture he was looking at was related to “The Goodie Bag” and nothing more. But that would’ve been too much like right. I think he knows I’m the wrong one. Maybe he learned his lesson. Maybe not. I do know he won’t be sending me anymore messages. After all, he wouldn’t have sent that message to Oprah and gotten away with it. There are a lot of women who would’ve been offended that probably never would’ve responded to him at all. So I spoke up for them. And there are probably some women who gleefully signed up to burlesque dance for him when he messaged them. They will probably make $250. In this economy he can’t afford to pay a woman thousands of dollars to take her clothes off. And he knows that some women don’t have the boundaries I have. That’s what makes him a predator; lurking and waiting for someone to become desperate.

Lastly, I told him he can’t afford my rates so I’ll gladly burlesque dance for my boyfriend in the privacy of our bedroom. At least I know what I’m getting into and what I’m getting out of it. I also know, it won’t deter my goals, cause me to be posted naked on YouTube or give him anything to sale to the Enquirer when I become the next Queen of All Media. That’s a boundary I can live with –  and that is priceless.

No Sex in My City

Rejection is so difficult to take. Primarily from someone you love or care for. Especially when you know you have done your best, been yourself and given so much to that person, but they still reject you. This weekend I decided that I no longer want to be Carrie Bradshaw and he is not Mr. Big. If you’re a fan of “Sex and the City“, you know what I mean. For years Carrie and Big had this on again, off again, heartbreaking, emotional tug of war between them. I think in television time, this tug of war may have lasted for approximately ten years, beginning when Carrie was still in her thirties, and it climaxed with them finally getting married at the end of “Sex and the City: The Movie“, and becoming Mr. and Mrs. John James Preston. And yes, I was very happy for Carrie. All of her hard work and heartache had finally resulted in a return on her investment. Big had finally come to his senses and married the woman who he had cheated on his previous wife with and had dated off and on for a number of years in between enjoying his bachelor days.  At this stage in my life and in this dating game, I can’t be Carrie.

I think I may have fallen in strong “like” with someone. It started as a crush a number of years ago. But I never thought that I’d actually meet this man. Then last year, what I thought was impossible, happened. For the last nine and a half months (long enough for human beings to conceive and a woman to give birth to a baby), he and I have been Carrie and Big. He’s the same man I’ve mentioned in some of my other blogs. The major difference between us and them is that Big took Carrie out in public with him on numerous occasions. Carrie met Big’s associates, some of his friends, and they went to various types of events. In spite of Big’s issues with commitment, he seemed to enjoy spending time with Carrie and being with her publicly, and showing her affection. I was not so lucky. Two dates in public in nine and a half months. That’s all I got. That’s all he thought I was worth. His excuse? The same excuse a lot of men have. Money and the lack of it. Strangely, he had enough money to go to the movies, he played golf, and he went on trips. Not once, did he think to invite me to join him. Not once was I important enough. I invited him to attend the upcoming BravoBravo! event at the Detroit Opera House in June. He declined my invitation, telling me that he doesn’t go to parties because he’s been there, done that…blah, blah, blah. However, this past weekend, guess what he did? He went to a party. Without me. And he texted me to tell me where he was. So you can clearly see where this is going? In case you don’t, let me tell you.

I dumped him – again. Yes, I said “again”. This was already his second chance in nine and a half months. In January of this year, he asked for the opportunity to spend more time with me, but he apparently had other things he wanted from me. He obviously doesn’t care about my feelings or how his actions affect those feelings. A few weeks ago he said that people should have relationships that benefit them. He told me our [non-committed] relationship allowed him to have someone to spend his time with because he is human and needs companionship. I told him that a benefit for me would be him doing more with me and supporting my endeavors and attending parties with me, even though it’s not something he “does” anymore. He told me he’d think about that. I got his answer this weekend. His answer was to go to a party, without me.

He and I would’ve made a great team, but unfortunately for him, he has tunnel vision and doesn’t see that as a possibility. He’s more focused on his career and doesn’t notice how one area of a person’s life is connected to another. Career not where you want it to be and your personal relationships fail? There might be a connection there. Nine and a half months ago I would’ve been more than glad to have a business relationship with him had he approached me with that as an option, but he didn’t. I would’ve even been open to just having a sexual relationship, had he told me that was all he wanted. But he didn’t. Honesty ~ it’s a good thing and it allows a person to decide if they want to be bothered or not. Instead he dosed me with a facade. The same facade he dosed himself with as he told me repeatedly that sex wasn’t all he wanted from me. Amazingly, his actions reflect that sex is the only purpose he thought I served for him, whether he wants to admit it [to himself] or not. He didn’t want a committed relationship, a business relationship and he didn’t want to be seen in public with me. Those were not his words, those were his actions. Is he remorseful? Not likely. He probably feels that he hasn’t done anything wrong. He was honest about his whereabouts this weekend… so he gets a half a point for that.  But he gets an “F” for everything else.

So I did what Carrie has done to Big so many times in the past. I walked away from him. But unlike Carrie, it would probably take an Old Testament Act of God to convince me to go back. After all, this is my real life, not a character’s on television, and I lack the patience to wait for nothing to ever develop. How do I know that nothing would ever develop between me and him? Easy, it has already been nine and a half months. Men don’t need an eternity to know if they love a woman or want to have a relationship with her or not. He’s already 46 years old and I’m 36. If he doesn’t appreciate me, respect my feelings or care about hurting me today, staying around him isn’t going to convince him to change his behavior towards me. It will just give him license to continue to take advantage of me. I figure he doesn’t want me in his life today, it is unlikely to change in ten years. At the very least, this city girl, deserves someone who genuinely does want to be with me – in private and in public.