Tag Archives: esteem

Define Your Success

There’s a lot said about money.  [The love of] Money is the root of all evil.  Money can’t buy love.  More money, more problems.  Although all of those things may be true to some degree, money is still a major factor in our day to day lives.  Without it, life can be a lot more difficult; with it, life can be more interesting.  A wealthy person can never tell a homeless person that money isn’t important or rewarding to have.  The homeless person only knows that their lack of money contributes to their homelessness.  A middle class person won’t fully comprehend the isolated feeling that wealthier people have because they fear being taken advantage of because of their net worth.  They only see the opulence that the money affords a wealthier person and believe that wealth brings happiness.  Wealth is wealth.  Happiness is not wealth.  Happiness is a by-product of good relationships, love, self esteem and personal achievements.     

For some people having money is equivalent to being successful.  Although the word successful is synonymous with victorious or winning, not wealthy or rich, ask any teenager through early twenty-year-old to define success and they will include having money in their definition.  This is the society in which we live.  A society where we see money as the definition of success, and we view those who have lots of money, as also being very successful.  This is sometimes true; for a moment.  Eventually the reality comes to the surface.  It’s not the money or how much of it you have that makes you successful; it’s the way you obtained the money and what you do with it that will really matters.

In a world where money is coveted by those who don’t have it, or want more of it, there are individuals who will often sacrifice their morals to obtain it.  They set dangerous agendas for others they come in contact with.  They will mistreat, manipulate and abuse others, for a few dollars.  They behave dishonestly and even maliciously to “get money”.  They take advantage of other people’s kindness, steal and even are willing to kill for money, all along never realizing that their actions will not allow that money to remain in their possession very long.  All ill-gotten gains eventually burn down to nothing.

We need to redefine what constitutes a successful person.  It’s not the money that makes a person successful.  It’s the work and time that the person put forth to become a success to begin with that defines their success.   The money is simply one of the rewards for the work.  Who did you help on your way to becoming rich?  Who did you step on or step over to gain your success and wealth?  When you became rich, did you go back and do for others where your roots grew from?  These are just a few questions that should be answered when a person is considering their wealth and success.  Everyone has the ability to make a lot of money – either legally or illegally.  It’s a choice based on morals, principles and standards and whether a person is willing to sacrifice theirs for linen paper. 

When  person dies, on their tombstone there are two dates; the day a person was born and the day the person died.  The dash in the middle represents life and that’s the legacy that remains that people will remember most.  People will remember if you were giving and unselfish and they will honor that memory of you more than if you were greedy, malicious and calculating.  People will miss you if you were charitable, loving and caring, more than if you had a large monetary will that people fought over in probate.  Which person do you prefer to be remembered as?  What will the dash on your tombstone represent and say about you after the money is gone? 

Consider this when defining your success:

No one’s tombstone says “He made a lot of money”.           

I Want it All

I want it all.  I want wealth, good health, a profitable business, and love.  I want everything.  I want it all.  Does that make me greedy?  Someone else’s perception may be “yes” because they don’t believe a person can have everything they want in life.  Am I selfish?  Absolutely.  This is my world, my life, my goals, my dreams, my effort and my energy.  Someone else’s perception is that I am selfish if I believe that this is my world.  I’ve learned that people perceive based on their own personal experiences, not necessarily yours.  Wanting everything may be equivalent to being greedy to one person, but to me it’s equivalent to being ambitious.  Believing this world belongs to you or that it’s “all about you” may be considered selfish to one person, but it’s being aware of one’s own worth and responsibility to me. 

This is my world.  However, I share it with others.   I’m aware that any actions I take, or don’t take, directly affect me, and then residually affect others.  I am responsible for my world.  This is my life.  It was given to me to live.  If I don’t live my life fully, another human being will not give me a second opportunity to live.  There are no stunt doubles in real life.  When I die, it is very unlikely that everyone else on Earth will die with me.  Others will still remain to continue on without me.  My life is my own responsibility. 

These are my goals and my dreams.  Although other people may have similar goals and share similar aspirations, whether my goals are aligned with theirs or not, if I do not achieve my goals or dreams, it will not prevent them from achieving theirs.  I am responsible for how far I’m willing to go to succeed.  This is my effort and energy.  How I utilize my effort and energy determines what I do or don’t receive from it.  If I fail, who will fail with me?  If I fail, who will fail because of me?  I can’t name one person whose success is directly affected by mine or lack thereof, not even my child.  If I fail to work on my projects, that is my fault alone.  Others can encourage me and support me, but they aren’t responsible for doing all of the work for me.  If you don’t work, you don’t eat, right?  Therefore, if I starve, I am responsible.

That is not to say that we don’t need each other.  Every human being needs companionship, support and admiration.  It’s innate.  But we have to always be cautious not to put responsibilities on others that aren’t theirs.  No one else is responsible for making your dreams and goals come to fruition.  No one else can live your life for you.  No one else can do the work for you and expel the energy required to make your world what you desire it to be.  And yes, God, or whomever you refer to as your Higher Being, is in control of our paths and we must submit to His will.  But God’s will is not for us to fail, or suffer, or go hungry, or be unhappy.  We have to be responsible for our share.  We have to improve upon what we’ve been given.  If we don’t, we don’t have anyone to blame but ourselves. 

Everything you truly need in life to be successful, to be happy, to be wealthy, and to be loved – you already possess.  Even if someone else’s perception is that you have nothing.  Prove them wrong. 

Strive for everything.  This is your world.

Be You

We’re surrounded by it everywhere we look.  Billboards, mainstream media, including television telling us what the standards of beauty are and how we should be, instead of embracing our ever varying diversity and what we are able to contribute as individuals.  Regardless of what others insist that you mold yourself into, it is very important that you remain true to yourself in life.  Be yourself; only better.  This can be the most difficult task of your life because others will want expect you to be who they think you should be to satisfy their own agendas.  Whatever obstacles you face, you should always have your own agenda that dictates who and how you contribute to this world.  Stay true to your feelings, your vision, your morals, values and standards.  Develop your personal sense of style, love your skin, and hair, size and shape.  Acknowledge your gifts and talents.  If you do these things, you will always be blessed. 

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t embrace positive change.  Change is good; it promotes growth and enhances character.  Be open and receptive to any of the challenges you face in your life.  Challenges that are conquered feed the soul and will bring about a sense of accomplishment for you if you simply try your best.  Whatever you set out to achieve is well within your grasp when you exhibit determination and have focus.  What you bring to this world as an individual is priceless and irreplaceable.  There will never be another you.  You are unique in your design.  Your style is your own, your beauty is unique, your intellect is a treasure.    

Self assess yourself and your personal relationships.  Strive to be the type of person you would want to have a relationship with; a person who is strong, confident and honest.  A person who compliments your best qualities and enhances your existing happiness.  Someone enjoyable to be around who loves and appreicates life and the diversity that it includes.  These are essential elements for the foundation of a healthy relationship.  Embrace your flaws, pet peeves & annoying habits.  They give you personality.  Change only what you want to change about yourself, along with what you should change to improve your health & finances.  You are aware of what those things are, even if you’ve never acknowledged them aloud.    

Be a good friend to others.  You can only receive what you are willing to give to others.   You can’t expect others to live up to standards that you do not yourself live up to.  If you are consistently being disappointed by someone, one of the two of you isn’t a good friend to the other.  Be encouraging and uplifting of others.  Particularly towards other women, both younger and older.  We are each other’s responsibility and we must care for one another.  Putting others down will never lift you up.  Being a hater is an excuse for not fulfilling your own potential.  It may give you temporary satisfaction, but won’t feed your soul or fill your bank account. 

Work to fulfill your dreams and goals.  You may have had to sacrifice your dreams at some point in your life, but it’s never too late to pursue them again.  It takes balance, prayer and perseverance. If you’re interested in pursuing your dreams, network with like-minded people who will encourage and support your endeavors and success.  Working hard and smart have monumental payoffs for those who don’t give up.  Don’t allow people to deter you and draw your focus onto their dreams, when you can spend your energy pursuing your own.  You have a purpose here in this world and you can be a blessing to yourself and to others; you don’t have to choose one over the other. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.  You add more stress to yourself when you don’t ask for help.  Asking for help includes asking for guidance from whichever spiritual entity you worship.  God uses us to bless others.  Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.  It’s a sign of strength and wisdom.  Where you may be lacking in an area of your life, knowledge or ability, others may contribute.  Even a super hero needs a sidekick for assistance sometimes.

Don’t be afraid of trying something different or being adventurous.  The human body needs an adrenaline rush on occasion to preserve our natural survival instincts.  Plan a vacation somewhere that you’ve never been before, go to an amusement park and ride a roller coaster.  Open yourself up and do something you’ve always wanted to do, even if you don’t have anyone to accompany you. 

Nurture your individuality.  Whether you like to wear your hair long or short, like to read or listen to music; whatever makes you different is beautiful.  Embrace it fully.  We don’t all look or think alike and that keeps life more interesting.  What a boring world this would be if we were all mindless clones of some other person.  Learn to appreciate the differences that others have.  All of your friends don’t have to be exactly like you.  If you have friends that always agree with you no matter what you do, you need new friends.  You make mistakes, as anyone does, and a true friend will call you out on your mess.   

Don’t work hard at getting revenge on those who have hurt and disappointed you.  Instead, work hard at getting better.  The better you are, the better you look, and the better you feel about yourself, the more the person who has wronged you will regret not having you in their life.  The best revenge is to be fabulous.  

Live your life to the fullest; you only get one chance.  Be beautiful.  Be bright.  Be powerful.  Be you.

Smooches.