Tag Archives: Twitter

When You Know Better, You Do Better

I’m a champion for women’s empowerment. I believe we need to embrace our diversity, our beauty, our image and our sexuality. I believe we do not need to feel ashamed or embarassed by our differences. I believe we need to love ourselves because we are amazing. I believe that at every stage of growth in a young woman’s life she should be learning about herself so that she can grow to become the best woman she can possibly be. Sex is not dirty. Sex isn’t nasty. Sex is what allows all of us to exist – unless you exist by osmosis.

Having said that – this new craze of young women aged 18 – 22 posting pictures of their (literally) naked bodies all over Facebook is getting out of hand. Their only goal is to get more “friends” on Facebook. They want “celebrity” status overnight just for being naked. They aren’t selling a product or service that is related to sex. They are “wanna-be” models who for some strange reason think their behavior will lead directly to that. They are naked, just to be naked. They are showing as much skin as in any men’s magazine in a bookstore (adult or otherwise). I’m not kidding or exaggerating. The difference between them and the women in the men’s magazines is that the women in the men’s magazines aren’t doing it for free and they are often well over the age of 21. Does that matter? To a degree it does. The women in the men’s magazines have control over how they are seen. The have contracts and are allowed to make decisions about their poses, clothing, etc. They have managers and lawyers representing them and their images can’t be used without their permission. These young girls on Facebook don’t have that. They are “following” a sad trend because they obviously have a misconception about what it means to be a woman. And they’re doing it to get more Facebook “friends”.

These young girls aren’t singers, actors, or legitimate aspiring models. If you asked one to sing, she probably couldn’t hold a note. If you asked one who Shakepeare is, they’d probably say “some boring English guy”. They are misguided young girls. They are someone’s daughter, niece and sister. They are starved for attention so they feel like they need to garner attention in the vast world of social media, just so they can feel good about themselves. They don’t understand that with sex and sexuality comes responsibility, not just power. If you don’t utilize your power wisely as a sexual being, it can be stripped from you and used against you.

Maybe it’s just the society we live in now. People are more famous for having sex tapes and who they sleep with than they are for having actual talent [when someone has talent they get overlooked]. Everyone is pimping themselves out for fifteen minutes of fame. Then they do whatever is necessary to stay famous. I posted my vent onto my Facebook status today. One man said it is all the sex in the books the girls read and the tv they watch that is encouraging their behavior. I disagree. I write erotic fiction and not one of those girls has read my book. How do I know? If they had read my book, they would know that their “goodies” are only for their husband – not for strangers on Facebook. None of these girls are married women; they are barely out of high school as indicated by their birthdates. Any younger and what they are doing would be considered child pornography. Plus they are too busy taking pictures of themselves naked and posting them onto Facebook to watch any television. We can’t constantly blame the media for people’s actions and poor decisions. The media is just a reflection of what is going on in the world we live in.

And why isn’t the media covering this as a story? I can’t be the only person who sees this as a societal issue with  ramifications.

For two days in a row, I woke up to a girl’s butt in my news feed on Facebook. Yesterday, one girl had tagged about fifty or more people (men in particular) in her picture. She added the caption “add me up”, which means to make her your Facebook friend. She had less than 175 friends at the time. I sent a message to her and suggested that if she has aspirations in life that don’t include becoming a porn star, she might want to be more selective about which pictures of herself she decides to post. I also explained to her that a lot of people Google people prior to hiring them or deciding to do business with them, and that she will not be taken seriously if those are the pictures that people first see of her. She replied that she appreciated my concern, but she didn’t remove the pictures of herself. And she probably won’t. She thinks those pictures will open doors for her to become an overnight celebrity. She is wrong. I bet her parents aren’t her Facebook friends. I’m sure they have no idea what their daughter is trying to do while she’s supposed to be at college studying. And she’s not the only girl behaving in this manner. Everyday my news feed has several girls’ butts on it because my friends are getting tagged in these pictures and a lot of them don’t even know it. This is becoming a trend in social networking now. They even do it on Twitter. The difference is that Twitter will remove the pictures and Facebook will not – unless you are ME. If you are ME, Facebook will threaten to delete your account. But I digress.

This is one of the topics I plan to cover in the I Feel Good; Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference next year. I pray that God send good financial sponsors to partner with me in this endeavor. We have to take back our worth. We have to learn the difference between being a brand and being a joke. We have to show girls that we can control our image and how we are seen. We have to stop giving ourselves away in exchange for nothing that will nourish us as women. We have to think smarter, work together better and show girls that being a woman is not the sum of the size of your breasts and butts. We have to teach them that they don’t have to beg for attention from strangers in order to feel good about themselves. We have to do something. We have to do better.

When you know better, you do better.

To help sponsor the I Feel Good; Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference please email Super Woman at info@superwomanproductions.com with subject SPONSOR. You’ll be added to the sponsorship packet mailing list that will provide you with information about the conference and sponsorship options once the information becomes available.

Judging A Book By Its Cover

I get a lot of flack for my photographs and book cover. People think the photos are too sensual, too sexy, pornographic and all types of ridiculous things depending on their own standards. People assume I’m peddling sex or that I’m a stripper, or worse, that I’m one of those women who randomly tags people into her bathroom booty pictures on Facebook. They assume that I’m ignorant, uneducated, that I have low morals, that I’m an attention whore and that I don’t believe in, respect or love God. They seem to forget that God made the human body and that some of the most famous artwork in the world consists of the human body shown nude. I receive the most criticism from people who say they are Christians. I find it all very interesting. I’m a walking, living, breathing social experiment watching the world and how it reacts simply because it judges a book by its cover instead of reading the pages.

Recently an article was written about me by Yvette Caslin for Rolling Out Magazine with a very provocative title. The title is a definite attention getter and I love it. If a person only reads the title, they will make several assumptions about it and the content of the article. That title will either persuade them to read the article or it will dissuade them from reading the article. However, without actually reading the article, people will likely make the wrong assumption. Someone who read the article, and had seen my book prior but didn’t buy it, said to me that after reading the article they feel completely different about my book than they did before. What they had done prior was look that the book cover of my book, read the title of my book, and made a determination that it wasn’t worth their time, energy, effort or money to purchase. She probably assumed I was a younger, (single) woman who had written a tell-all book about all of the raunchy, nasty, dirty sex I had previously had with random men (ala Karrine Steffans). Now, after reading the article in Rolling Out Magazine, this person can’t wait to buy a copy of my book so she can enhance her relationship with her husband.

It’s not unusual for anyone to judge a book by its cover. We’ve all done it at some point towards someone else. A lot of it is our biases which develop because of our experiences, our social environment, our personal views, and our upbringing. Anyone who says they’ve never formed an opinion about someone without knowing them is dishonest. Even if for a split second, everyone has done it. Some people just do it more often and more to the extreme than others. If you dislike someone without ever having personal interaction with that person, and you can’t clearly verbalize a logical explanation for your dislike of that person (i.e. she looked at me funny/she thinks she’s cute), it’s likely you are judging a book by its cover. Although this occurs in society as a whole, it is constant behavior among women. So many woman have “disliked” me for unexplainable reasons. Those who have taken the time to actually get to know me, discover that I am nothing like they “thought” I was. Unfortunately, very few people take the opportunity to get to know someone prior to forming an opinion about them from afar. It would be nice if that weren’t the case.

There’s a woman I see often in passing. Until yesterday, I didn’t know her name or anything about her. All I knew about her was that she never spoke to me or smiled when she and I would pass each other, regardless of how pleasantly I said hello, attempted to make eye contact with her or how big my smile was. Eventually, I began to feel rejected, as anyone would, and I stopped making an effort to speak to her. I felt it was a waste of time and energy because she would never reply to me. She’s not the first woman to not speak to me. Believe it or not, it’s a regular occurrence in my life for women to behave this way towards me. [My personal defense mechanism is to ignore them everytime they are anywhere near me. That method may not be best for everyone, but it prevents me from becoming annoyed by something I have no control over.] After having more recent interaction with this particular woman, I discovered that she had some personal conflicts in her life that were taking a stressful toll on her. Having been in a similar situation in my life before, I now sympathize with her instead of thinking she’s just an angry and rude woman. Although her situation doesn’t excuse her behavior (and she may very well be both angry and rude), now knowing that she’s going through drama in her personal life allows me to no longer judge her harshly based on a brief encounter with her. She’s human and she’s allowed to have some bad days. I have my bad days, too. Being Super Woman is hard work and it’s stressful. It would be nice if this woman didn’t take her bad days out on anyone else, but I can’t control that. The only think I can control is whether or not I judge her without taking the time to get to know her. I’m not saying she and I will become friends, but the next time I speak and she doesn’t, I won’t feel rejected and I won’t think poorly of her as a result. She’s not just a book cover to me now.

Every book written isn’t the sum of its cover. There are pages inside of books for a reason. The pages are there to tell the story. Sometimes a book cover is just a pretty picture utilized to grab your attention and nothing more. Sometimes a book cover gives you a brief visual idea of what the book is about. And sometimes a book cover has nothing to do with the content on the pages. Take the time to read the book for yourself and form your own opinion based on what you read, not just what you see on the cover. You may find that if you take the time and effort to do so, it may change how you react to things in your life in general.

 

Miami Donkey

As I sat and watched the season three opening episode of “Basketball Wives” on VH1, my eyes widened as I got exactly what I sat down for: Irrefutable evidence that there are donkeys in Miami. In the hood, a donkey is a female who has a large behind or someone who is a complete idiot. In this case I’m referring to the latter definition. In the season opener we discover that during hiatus, Evelyn Lozada has decided to brand the term she so eloquently used against Tami Roman in the previous season – You’re a non MoFo factor, b*tch!  – and put it on t-shirts. I applaud Lozada’s entrepreneurial spirit and obvious attempt to get more people to know who she is. But here’s the problem. We already know she’s the jilted ex-fiancée of a former basketball player and now the fiancée of a professional football player who loves to brand himself so much he changed his last name to his jersey number (I didn’t see a ring on her finger. Tweet me if you did @BestSuperWoman), and we know she’s a hot mess. Isn’t that enough? Apparently not.

For awhile I honestly did think that Lozada was just misunderstood and was really probably a nice person once the cameras stopped rolling. Now, she seems more like a downright mean opportunist. She made the t-shirt decision when cameras weren’t rolling and for some strange reason she actually thought it was a “good idea”. Really? Only to a donkey. The now infamous quote is not one of endearment. It only has negative connotations. And to agree with Roman, Lozada was really the non MoFo factor, because she has never been a wife. I don’t want to say she’s just a glorified jump off, but she might be that, too. For her to then explain her decision to Roman, offer to give money to Roman’s foundation and then accuse Roman of being the reason people thinks she’s a home wrecker is very much donkey-like. Lozada obviously forgot that she put herself out for the world to judge when she told Roman she had slept with her husband while they were married. Once that information came to light last season, I looked at Lozada cross-eyed. Is she one of those women who only dates professional athletes? If so, that is also donkey-like. What’s interesting is that Lozada has the attention of one of the wealthiest men in sports right now and she met him on Twitter. That doesn’t happen in real life. Trust me on that.

I once tweeted Ochocinco and told him that he needed a woman who can cook. He’s always posting pictures of meals he’s eating at restaurants and fast food spots. I think he misunderstood me. I meant a woman who can cook in the kitchen, not through his bank account. But Ochocinco made his decision and he wants to be with her. Since Lozada’s adult life seems to have revolved around the success of the men she’s dated, I’d say she’s pretty lucky to have met him. But that’s not enough for her. Here’s what I discovered. Someone else has beat Lozada to making the t-shirts. I’m dead serious (see photo provided below). If she had really been smart she would’ve applied for the copyright to the phrase instead. That’s the difference between an entrepreneurial mind like mine and a donkey mind like Lozada’s.

Sometimes women as so accustomed to losing that they don’t know that they have already won. Lozada is attractive at her 35 years young (I’m older than she is), has money coming from somewhere because she’s carrying Hermes Berkin bags and Vuitton purses (Vuittons you can rent, but Berkins you cannot), financing a shoe store that makes me think of dessert where shoes cost $600 a pair, and she might actually make it to the alter this time. For some women, that’s the ideal life (both of my hands raised). Lozada’s decision to capitalize off of her quote that resulted in a very public, unscripted ass whooping is not a good business decision. It is donkey-like. Which goes to show that no matter how pretty someone is, or how much money they have, you can dress them up and put diamonds on them but they are still a jackass. Plus, her shirts aren’t even cute.    

this is the shirt that someone else has already made and marketed online for sale

 

(my fans know I rarely post more than one blog a day, but this had to be said.)

I’m Mad About It – I Want The Goodie Bag Back

They got me – again.  And I’m mad about it.  I can’t believe someone had the audacity to steal my car – again.  And I’m mad about it.  What angers me more than the theft of my vehicle (again) is the fact that copies of The Goodie Bag were in a box on the back seat that I had yet to sale to people anxiously awaiting it.  That sent me over the edge.  I went from Super Woman to She-Hulk in less than sixty seconds.  Now, they are messing with my business.  Now they are hindering my goals.  Now I’m getting angry.  And you won’t like me when I’m angry.  There are two things in this world you should never mess with; my child and my money.  Their thievery has impacted both.

They stole my little ten year plus old Chrysler that I’ve had for a little under a year now.  They took the little Chrysler car that Super Son was to inherit, and take to college with him in a few months.  They took the source of transportation for all of the things that Super Woman has to do.  Yes, they didn’t take my life; but I truly hope that car ruins theirs.  More important to me is the copies of The Goodie Bag that were on the back seat.  I want my books back.  They contribute to the security of my family’s finances.  They are my intellectual property.  They are my creativity personified.  They belong to me until I sale them to you.   

Why do thieves think they deserve to be in a car, that they didn’t pay for, when it’s less than 20 degrees outside?  What makes them think they can just take from people without ramifications?  Well, the joke is kind of on them – for a few reasons.  The car is in need of repairs.  The windshield wipers and fluid don’t work so it will be hell for them to drive in any precipitation.  The front wheel had to be recently replaced because I caught a flat, so the wheel alignment is off.  But the tire was only good enough to last a few days according to the man I bought it from.  Not good for slippery winter weather conditions.  And the spare tire is also no good so if they get another flat, they will have three tires instead of four.  Did I mention that the heat doesn’t work? I’m just saying.  They stole a bigger headache than they bargained for.  I just want The Goodie Bag back. 

I have a couple copies that people can still buy, and I plan to order more to fill any online orders that are placed.  I assure you that I’m not out of business because of this – never that.  It takes a lot more than ignorant street thieves to deter me.  It’s just a set back.  A set back is just an opportunity in work clothes (Melvin Van Peebles).  In the end I will be the one laughing at them.  If the police happen to catch and arrest them, they will go to jail.  And they could be facing civil charges as well, just because I feel like it.   Yes, I know they obviously don’t have any money or they wouldn’t have to steal.  That’s not the point.  The point is to let them know that they can’t steal from people and assume there won’t be consequences or repercussions for their actions.  And no, I don’t care about how old they are, their “situation” or their “problems”.  They apparently weren’t thinking about mine when they stole my property.   And they won’t be thinking about your’s if they come after you.

Everything happens for a reason.   I don’t know what this one is yet.  And eventually I won’t be as mad; but for now,  I want The Goodie Bag back.

I’m offering a cash reward for any legitimate information leading to the return of the remaining copies of The Goodie Bag in sellable condition.  The reward starts at one hundred dollars ($100), but will decrease every two days that go by that I don’t have The Goodie Bag in my possession.  Tweet me the info at twitter.com/BestSuperWoman.  If the information provided leads to me getting The Goodie Bag back, you’ll receive the cash.  But the longer it takes for the books to be returned, the less valuable they are to me.             

In the meantime, I’m hoovering somewhere between Super Woman and She-Hulk.  I just want The Goodie Bag back.