Category Archives: Motivational Blog

Out With The Old, In With The New Year

Today is the last day of 2010. For me it’s not the end, but the beginning. The year 2010 brought about the realization of many of my dreams. The year 2011 will make those dreams greater. In 2010, I conquered, I learned, I grew. In 2011 all of those elements will build upon themselves and adhere my place in this world and in this industry. It hasn’t been easy. It’s been a lot of hard work. But hard work is not foreign to me at all. I’ve been “super” for longer than I even knew I was. It just took time for me to realize and embrace it. I’ve always known I had something that I was destined to do. I just had to pray for the guidance and be obedient in the steps.

In 2010, I lost some things as well. I lost a couple of friends and a couple of lovers. I also made certain sacrifices for the greater good. I made decisions and stood behind them. As a result, I can stand victorious because it was GOOD. I didn’t lose anything that God wanted me to have. Anything that was lost was quickly replaced with something better for me. Weeding my garden at times was difficult, but my garden is growing strong and it is beautiful. I shed some tears, got my feelings hurt; I even got stuck by some of the weeds in the process. But I dried my eyes, picked my head up, dusted my shoulders off and put my bandages on. Then I stepped back, looked at my life, and saw the beauty in it.  GOOD.  I even shocked a few people by reinventing myself (in appearance) mutiple times throughout the year.  If you were paying attention, you noticed,  if not, I’ve got more forthcoming for you to see.   

I’m blessed to have my Super Friends, my Super Family and my Super PR Rep. They are supportive of me. They believe in me and all my crazy. Even when we disagree, the love is still there. My Super Family doesn’t just consist of people who I’m related to by blood either. But I know they love me as if we were. All of these individuals are my constant in my sea of change; they are my yacht.

Then there are the men. There have been a few I really liked and maybe one I loved. But none of them were my Super Man. And it is GOOD. Any man who is no longer a part of my life on this day, was only temporary the day I met him to begin with. They either served their purpose or they failed to live up to their own potential. Some men didn’t think I was what they needed. Some men want to sit back and watch to see how successful I’ll become. I’d rather have someone who recognizes my worth and value before I’m wealthy.  Either way, it is GOOD.

I thank God for my perseverance, ambition & creativity.   These attributes have allowed me to withstand a great deal in my life.  They have also allowed me to reach the point where I am in realizing my dreams and will carry me further into those realizations as they evolve and grow beyond what they are today.  Under my Chinese zodiac, Year of the Tiger, my New Year doesn’t start until February 2, 2011.  The year 2010 was the year of a Golden Tiger.  The Chinese believe that during their New Year, a person becomes a year older.  That would make me three years old, I think.  Which explains why Chinese people have such longevity; in mind and body.  They also  believe that the year of a person’s birth is the primary factor in determining that person’s personality traits, physical and mental attributes, degree of success and happiness throughout his or her lifetime.  Needless to say, that in spite of the changes I went through, 2010 was a very good year for me.   The next Year of the Tiger will take place Feb 01, 2022 – Jan 21, 2023.  I’ll be 47 years old at that time (four years old under the Chinese zodiac) and I will be the Queen of All Media by that time.  That gives me something special to look forward to.

So, as everyone puts 2010 behind them, and sings “Auld Lang Syne” tonight, I will be reflecting on 2010 and celebrating its end as well, but with a different mindset.  It was a good year for me.  I’m glad to be done with the old, so that I can move forward into 2011 and all of the amazing opportunities it holds for me and the Super Woman Brand.  It was a good year.  But it’s not the end, it’s just the beginning.    

Happy New Year!

Smooches

I’m An Artist

I can exhale – just briefly- but it feels good. I have gotten things accomplished and I am proud. As I prepare dinner for Christmas, I’m reflecting on what I’ve given and sacrificed, just over the last few months. I couldn’t buy Christmas gifts this year, but those who love me most, weren’t expecting me to. They understood that I had plans, and those plans cost money. I also made sacrifices for the greater good and made investments in my son’s future, as well as in my business. All of which cost money. I made a decision to move to a more financially comfortable and safer area in the urban center of Detroit. I made charitable donations to organizations and renewed my memberships to help preserve others. I spent thousands of dollars on Super Son’s current education and future college endeavors, including the sacrifice of not buying my flat screen television that was on sale for only $260. I even gave of my time and talents to help a woman, who turned around and accused me of trying to take advantage of her, and of riding her coat tails when she had no coat to begin with. I did a lot for others. And this was all during the last quarter of 2010.

So, as I put the finishing touches on my first full book, The Goodie Bag, for its release this weekend, on Christmas Day, I felt a huge weight lift from me. As I created the cover of the paperback version and watched the files upload, I felt a great sense of accomplishment. It is a beautiful book, if I can brag just a little. It’s different from other erotic fiction books written by other authors for more than one reason and I’m proud of what I’ve done. It might become somewhat controversial, but I’m ready and able to handle that. It might even bother or upset some people, but I’m ready for that, too. It’s worth it. I’m an artist. But I’m sensitive.

In a live version of what I consider to lyrically be the best women’s anthem ever written, Tyrone, Erykah Badu introduces herself by saying, “I’m an artist, and I’m sensitive about my sh*t”. I can completely relate. My art form is different from Erykah’s, but it is art, just the same. When I decided to write The Goodie Bag, and put my other book concepts on hold, I had to prepare myself for all of the possibilities that come with being an artist. Would people like it? Would people hate it? Would an ex-boyfriend of mine confront me about something he thought might be about him? Would it sale out or just collect dust on a shelf in the bookstore? What would the “critics” say about it? What would my friends and family say? Would I forever be stuck in the erotic fiction genre if people really like it? If there was a “what if”, I considered it. I contemplated it, weighed it, tossed it in the air and accessed it. Then I had to release it. All of it. All of the fears. All of the doubts. All of the worries. All of the “what ifs”. As an artist, I decided that I just needed to put myself out there and do me. I’d worry later, but for now I had work to do.

I put myself into my art – literally. I’m in every picture from the front cover to the back cover. I imagined each story, combined it with some of my actual experiences and wrote it for the whole world to read, if they want to. Some of the stories took a few minutes to write and some took months. I wanted each story to have a uniqueness about it. I wanted each story to draw the reader in, excite them, then make them want to add a bit of fantasy to their own reality. I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my sh*t. I wanted full color photos inside the pages of the book. And I wanted to be my own model. Not out of vanity, not because I’m narcissistic, but because I believe in my own vision, and I felt that no one else could capture my vision better than I could. I think I was right, regardless of anyone else’s opinion. Plus, other people had too many stipulations and demands that I knew I didn’t need to be hindered by. That’s the beauty of being an artist. You develop a bravery within your craft and you are willing to stretch yourself to preserve it.

I don’t know how many books an author has to sale to become “best selling”. I haven’t done any sales projections or set any sales goals. That is too much unnecessary pressure. With this project, I preferred to use the “if you write it, someone will read it” method. From a business standpoint, that may not be good to do, but as an artist, it allowed me to be free to concentrate on the art itself. However, if The Goodie Bag sales 100 copies in the first two weeks, I’d be very pleased. If The Goodie Bag sales 1000 copies in the first month, I’d be very happy. And if, by chance, The Goodie Bag sales a lot more than 1000 copies within a month or so, whether that makes me “best selling” or not, I’m sure I will have sold a lot more than many authors and publishers who have been at this longer than I have. I’m not trying to out-do anyone else in book sales. I just want to make my own mark and I hope you notice, read it and enjoy it. If I make a difference in one person’s life, with my blogs, my books or my smile, I’ve done well. So, this Christmas Day, which also happens to be my 36th birthday, when you buy your copy of The Goodie Bag, which is available through, Super Woman Productions and Publishing in paperback (ships to your home address by priority mail after the holidays) and eBook (available for immediate download to your computer or eReader), keep an open mind. When you read it, you might want your husband, wife or significant other present, with the kids out of the house. I’m just saying. I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my sh*t. But my sh*t is also very good.

Happy Holidays.

Handling Business

The term ‘handling business’ means different things to different people.  Business in general to some people means making money.  People that go into business with the goal and expectation of making money often end up working for someone else or fail repeatedly in their ventures.  People who go into business because of the love for what they are doing or to make a difference, often become very successful and very wealthy as a result.  But that doesn’t occur overnight.  It is a gradual process that comes about through learning and experience.  It also requires surrounding yourself with people who can assist, having perseverance and proper planning among other things.  Therefore, it can be said that whether or not a person is successful in business is greatly determined by the motivation to begin a business.  It is then heightened by their efforts to remain in business.  If you have an idea, it doesn’t mean it will be instantaneously profitable.  Many people get involved in or develop get rich quick schemes.  Some of them actually make money, but they don’t have any longevity.  Either because the scheme is illegal, immoral or it’s just not sustainable through economic changes.     

Handling business to some people also means taking care of their responsibilities.   Whether or not a person is capable of taking care of themselves is often a factor that determines if they will have success in business and in life.   If a person is heavily reliant on others for their survival or well being, we often will view that person as being immature and incapable of handling their business.  Responsibility is a huge weight for a human being to carry.  It is also a mark of a person’s character or lack thereof.  Often people prefer to make others responsible for their circumstances and failures.  They believe that this will exonerate them from any repercussions that may arise.  However, they are quick to take responsibility for success, if it comes.  Being responsible is more than about claiming the idea or the potential profits.  Being responsible requires taking that idea seriously and investing the time, energy and effort into nurturing the idea until it is successful.  That isn’t to say that a person who doesn’t take responsibility can’t learn to.  They actually can.  Unfortunately, they usually learn to be responsible through traumatic occurrences resulting from being irresponsible.

Over the last fifteen years of my life I have endured a great deal of responsibility, in business and personally.  I had my son when I was eighteen years old; I was a homeowner at nineteen and was working in Corporate America.  In business, I have co-owned a general contracting company, I’ve been a Realtor, and I’ve been a union steward.  Not only have I had to be responsible for myself at a young age, but I’ve had to be responsible for many other people as well.  It has taught me a great deal.  Every lesson wasn’t easy or enjoyable, but I’ve taken what I’ve learned and invested it into myself and my future success.  Many people assume that I’m egotistical so I just woke up one day and decided that I would become Super Woman.  The truth is that I was given the name because of what I’ve survived.  People have referred to me as “super” in one capacity or another for many years.  I didn’t decide to become Super Woman; I already was Super Woman, I just didn’t know it until two years ago.

To achieve success as an entrepreneur there are a few things a person needs to consider.  You need to have an idea, but you also need to have motivation that is beyond making money.  You need to handle your business personally because your personal life has a “trickle over” effect into your business life.  You need a team of people who will enhance what you lack, won’t just tell you what you want to hear, will tell you when you are wrong or foolish, and won’t take advantage of your dreams.  Super Woman is a company, a woman and a brand, but there’s a team of people that help to make it possible.  My team of people may be different from others, but they are people whom I know I can trust and I have built a relationship with them that goes beyond business.  I don’t take advantage of them and they don’t take advantage of me.  They know that my motivation to be successful goes beyond making money and they help to preserve that motivation.  They never force their desires on me and they are reliable and available when I need them to be.  They have individual abilities and viewpoints that enhance what I possess and make up for what I lack.  They are my Super Team and no matter how much money I make, their support is a lot more valuable to me. 

Once you can take responsibility for your own failures and success, you become an entrepreneur.  Once you become an entrepreneur, you become powerful.  Once you become powerful, you become humbled; because to whom much is given, much is required.  Entrepreneurship is a journey to humility.  Be thankful for the journey; it is a blessing.   Handle your business.

Days Like This I Need a Cloning Machine

Life is full of changes.  I’m excited by all of the opportunities coming my way, but there are some days, like today, when I wish that I had a cloning machine.  I’m preparing for a lot of different things all at the same time.  To add pressure to the pot, I’m suffering from a cold.  I earned the name Super Woman because I’m always multi-tasking and I’m able to do it seamlessly.  It’s my dream come true and more than I imagined.   However, there are days when I wish there were at least two more exact duplicates of myself whom I could delegate tasks to.  Since I’m meticulous in my approach and everything I do must be done to the best of my ability, it’s difficult for me to delegate tasks to others who may not treat my ideas with the same sense of priority.  For me everything is a priority – even if it has to be delayed, it never really is.  It’s just re-prioritized to another level to be revisited later after something else is completed.  That’s the method to my madness.

I’m not alone in my need for a cloning device.  There are women like me everywhere who have a ton of things that need to get done and who would also like to have a clone of themselves capable of helping them.  They are mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, counselors, chauffeurs, coaches, teachers, physiologists, referees and chefs; everyday all day long.  Women – we do it all and we do it well.  A cloning device would help a lot of us in our day to day lives.  Unfortunately, the technology has yet to catch up with the need.  Or has it?  That’s the beauty of supply and demand.  If you build it, they will buy.   

I have been blessed to have a tightly knit team of Super friends who are very supporting of my endeavors and they help to keep all of this crazy that is I, in check.  But I can’t take advantage of them because they also have their own families, careers, goals, and endeavors that they need to apply their own energy to as well.  That is the common thread that explains why they are my Super friends. 

On days like this I have to plan, plan, and plan some more to get things done.  I call on those who are able, and have to time to do something for me.  I barter and negotiate to get things done.  I try to remember to eat, squeeze in some meditation and prayer and try to exercise also.  I plug into my mp3 player for focus because I can’t work in dead silence.  I drink my green or chai tea and take by vitamin B12.  I operate on as much sleep as I possibly can get and vow to rest when I’m rich; preferably in the Caribbean.  Then when all is said and done I thank God, get up and do it all over again the next day.  

Until cloning technology is available, and harmless, I will continue to do what I do; put all of myself into my tasks to turn out a good product/service.  I will continue to lose sleep, forget to eat, do too much too often in an effort to do it all.  It’s what I do.  It is who I am.   After all, I am Super Woman and to whom much is given, much is required. 

…but a cloning device would really help. ♥

Not Taking Myself Too Serious

The more mature I become, the less serious I take myself.  I’ve learned to accept my idiosyncrasies and quirks because they have helped to shape my individuality.  I marvel at my own ability to reinvent myself so often and so well that even people who see me often sometimes do not recognize me.  I often find it curious how people react towards me when I walk into a room, until I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and think “Who is that? Oh, that’s me!”  I’m proud of my resilience and ability to learn quickly.  I even find my own state of organized chaos to be laughable at times.  Everything must be in its proper place, but my house is a mess.  The minute I clean up, I can’t find anything. 

When it comes to my professional life, I’m on point, at all times.  I have goals, ideas and plans that are thoroughly executed from thought to implementation and beyond.  However, my personal life is sometimes confusing, with all of its ups, downs and unknowns.  My love life is even more confusing, with the lack of consistency and the constant “getting to know someone new” process, which is both exhausting and disconcerting.  Needless to say, my resiliency comes in very handy, more so in my personal life.

The ME that I know best is silly, funny, competitive, and hardworking, yet still enjoys watching animated movies and cartoons.  I like to cook and eat.  I don’t like cleaning, but do it because it needs to be done and I’m particular about how.  I dislike exercising, but I do it because I want to maintain my health and appearance.  I love to travel, but I don’t like standing in lines to get where I’m going.  Music soothes me emotionally and spiritually, evidenced by my music collection and taste, which are very diverse.  I’m “positive” in my outlook on life the majority of the time, but I deal in harsh realities.  I know that although I want everything, there will always be something that isn’t meant for me to have.  I expect too much of myself because I have been blessed with so much.  I believe I can always to do better, even when I know I’ve done my best.  As much as I’d like life to be clear and concise, black and white, there are several things that are in shades of gray and beige, which I may never fully understand, but have to accept regardless. 

As a result, I have learned not to take myself too seriously.  I’ve learned to hug the girl I once was and love the woman that I am.  I’ve tried to learn from my past, so that I don’t repeat it in my future.  I’ve raised my child to be the man I never had in hopes that he’ll get married and have children of his own that love him as much as he loves me.  When I get upset I turn to my favorite comedians and movies to make me laugh. 

As Superas I am,  and I have earned the title twice over, I am also human.  I have had good days and bad, just like anyone else.  I have challenges and obstacles that throw me off temporarily, just like anyone else in my position my encounter.  I get my feelings hurt and I am disappointed by others, just like anyone else has.  I have kryptonite in various forms in my life, often shiny and distracting, however, never permanently damaging to me.   But it’s all a part of my journey and I’m thankful for it all.  And when I’m most pleased with myself, I take time to pull on my Betty Boop night shirt, bamboo socks, cuddle up with my stuffed animal, pull out the Godiva chocolate and watch a Disney movie.  What gives me individuality today hopefully will make me eccentric in my old age.  I hope that when that day comes, I still won’t take myself too seriously.

Define Your Success

There’s a lot said about money.  [The love of] Money is the root of all evil.  Money can’t buy love.  More money, more problems.  Although all of those things may be true to some degree, money is still a major factor in our day to day lives.  Without it, life can be a lot more difficult; with it, life can be more interesting.  A wealthy person can never tell a homeless person that money isn’t important or rewarding to have.  The homeless person only knows that their lack of money contributes to their homelessness.  A middle class person won’t fully comprehend the isolated feeling that wealthier people have because they fear being taken advantage of because of their net worth.  They only see the opulence that the money affords a wealthier person and believe that wealth brings happiness.  Wealth is wealth.  Happiness is not wealth.  Happiness is a by-product of good relationships, love, self esteem and personal achievements.     

For some people having money is equivalent to being successful.  Although the word successful is synonymous with victorious or winning, not wealthy or rich, ask any teenager through early twenty-year-old to define success and they will include having money in their definition.  This is the society in which we live.  A society where we see money as the definition of success, and we view those who have lots of money, as also being very successful.  This is sometimes true; for a moment.  Eventually the reality comes to the surface.  It’s not the money or how much of it you have that makes you successful; it’s the way you obtained the money and what you do with it that will really matters.

In a world where money is coveted by those who don’t have it, or want more of it, there are individuals who will often sacrifice their morals to obtain it.  They set dangerous agendas for others they come in contact with.  They will mistreat, manipulate and abuse others, for a few dollars.  They behave dishonestly and even maliciously to “get money”.  They take advantage of other people’s kindness, steal and even are willing to kill for money, all along never realizing that their actions will not allow that money to remain in their possession very long.  All ill-gotten gains eventually burn down to nothing.

We need to redefine what constitutes a successful person.  It’s not the money that makes a person successful.  It’s the work and time that the person put forth to become a success to begin with that defines their success.   The money is simply one of the rewards for the work.  Who did you help on your way to becoming rich?  Who did you step on or step over to gain your success and wealth?  When you became rich, did you go back and do for others where your roots grew from?  These are just a few questions that should be answered when a person is considering their wealth and success.  Everyone has the ability to make a lot of money – either legally or illegally.  It’s a choice based on morals, principles and standards and whether a person is willing to sacrifice theirs for linen paper. 

When  person dies, on their tombstone there are two dates; the day a person was born and the day the person died.  The dash in the middle represents life and that’s the legacy that remains that people will remember most.  People will remember if you were giving and unselfish and they will honor that memory of you more than if you were greedy, malicious and calculating.  People will miss you if you were charitable, loving and caring, more than if you had a large monetary will that people fought over in probate.  Which person do you prefer to be remembered as?  What will the dash on your tombstone represent and say about you after the money is gone? 

Consider this when defining your success:

No one’s tombstone says “He made a lot of money”.