Tag Archives: Super Woman

Experience; A True Teacher

We have all experienced disappointment, rejection and loss. I myself experienced a tremendous amount this year alone. My mother died, I lost friends and I lost opportunities. All of these experiences forced me to make adjustments, changes and sacrifices. What I thought was going to be one of the best years of my life, turned into one of the most difficult. I was hurt, sad and even felt depressed throughout each experience I weathered. In spite of the negatives, I learned from each situation and as a result I also experienced positive growth.

While I was going through hidden pain, I was still having positive experiences. This year I became a correspondent blogger for Six Brown Chicks and I got to meet a woman I admire greatly as a result; Zondra Hughes. I was in featured in several articles written by talented journalists and bloggers, one of which was published in Italy. I finished my second book and (to my surprise and delight) it reached number 34 in the world on Amazon’s Urban/Regional list of eBooks. In a couple of weeks that same book Breaking Through the Black Ceiling will become available in paperback for purchase.

I had a lot of obstacles come up against me this year, some that were truly unthinkable and others that were completely frightening. Details of one of those obstacles is actually the topic of one of my next books. We won’t even begin to discuss my nonexistent love life. I no longer date. It just doesn’t work out well for me, so I’d rather avoid it than endure it. I still learned from the lack of romance in my life this year as well. I learned that it’s better to be happy and alone, than be miserable trying to force your love on someone who doesn’t want or deserve it. This year I opened up about my past experience with domestic violence for PURE Magazine, I mourned the loss of my friend and mentor, Mark England, and I made some very difficult decisions for my family. I also had to say ‘no, thank you’ quite often for the sake of my own sanity.

This year, I also learned the importance of forgiveness, not for others, but for you. I learned how much I truly value certain friendships, but that I don’t need the ones I lost. I learned that loyalty is often expected, but rarely received. I learned that it is often difficult to be your authentic self, but doing so gives you strength and takes away any negative power that others may have over you. I learned that I have the ability to shape my destiny and purpose, while still living the life that is written for me in the Master’s Plan. I learned that sometimes I won’t be happy, but I will be strong. I learned that my apprehension related to fame is hindering my success, and I decided to change that.

Experience is a true teacher. I truly believe that even the negative things that have occurred to me, not just this year, but throughout my life, served a purpose and were meant for me to learn from. Experience shapes us as individuals. We can’t always control what we go through, and everything we endure in life won’t be pleasant. However, we can make an effort to learn from every experience, good and bad, so that we can become better than we were before. I hope that all of the experiences I had in 2014 will strengthen me to become more resilient, stronger and more purpose driven, so that I can have more wealth, better health and happiness in the days and years to come. I want to continue to make a difference in the world using my voice, my creativity and my words, leaving behind a legacy that will influence others to do the same. I hope the same for you as well.

Next year already holds a great deal of promise and opportunity for my life and career. What I lost in 2014 will be replaced with more abundant and positive experiences in 2015. The obstacles, fear, pain and disappointment from 2014 will no longer exist.

All that will remain is me

Better than I was before.

 

Productivity Is Addictive

I don’t smoke.

I only drink when I’m happy and my limit is two.

I’ve been celibate and I haven’t been on a single date by choice for seven….wait, eight months now.

I admit that if I have any one addiction, it is that I’m addicted to doing things well and being productive in my life and career.

It is an addiction that has cost me friends and relationships for several years. However, I’m not willing to go to rehab to trade-off being productive in exchange for making other people happy. I don’t know if this addiction is genetic or if it was learned behavior; both of my grandparents were hardworking people. Maybe I’m just highly ambitious or I’m aware that having the ability to do what I’d like to do in life isn’t free in the sense that some people think it is. Regardless, I’m an addict. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is check to see if I received any important emails while I was asleep. I quickly try to get replies out, often while squinting my eyes as the adjust to the light of the smart phone in the dark. To some people, that may be an annoyance and I’ve had people say to me “you get up early”. Well, I figure if someone can email me late at night, I can reply early in the morning.

I have my ‘to-do list’ like the planner I am, but I try to allow flexibility in my list for the Master’s Plan. I’ve learned that the plans I make will often need adjustment for one reason or another, particularly this year. I hired an assistant and she is amazing. That helps me to remain calm, focused and productive and people who know me very well can see the improvement. I now have exactly fifteen minutes extra every day that I can use to work on whatever I’m working on of importance that day. And when the day is over, I feel really good. There are events and commitments on my agenda up through December 2014 already and I’m looking forward to each and every one of them. The sacrifices I’ve made are well worth the blessings and opportunities I have received thus far. Sometimes you have to give up something you wanted to receive something you need.

I have goals that include expansion of the Super Woman Brand on a global level and I’m taking the small, yet necessary, steps to achieve those goals. I view each collaboration as an opportunity to introduce more people to the Super Woman Brand and its value. I couldn’t do half of what I’ve done, or a third of what I’m going to do in my career this year without my addiction.

It keeps me going. It wakes me up in the morning. It hugs me close in bed at night. It’s why complete strangers say I’m successful.

My journey hasn’t been without its challenges but I can truly say, my addiction (need) to be productive is definitely paying off.

 

The Rain

In my last blog I talked about how patience pays off. I received so many thank you’s from people I know, and from people I’ve never met, who read my blog. I’m glad that what I say and how I feel motivates and helps others in their personal and professional lives. The beginning of 2014 has been an amazing time in my life and I can tell it’s just the beginning. I literally feel as if blessings and opportunities are raining down upon me everywhere I go and with everything I do. Recently, I was sending someone some of my good news and they replied “I can’t stand the rain”. My brain didn’t comprehend that immediately (it was a busy day and I’m always multitasking so I get a little slow sometimes – don’t judge me), and I thought of two songs: Missy Elliott’s “The Rain” (1997) and New Edition’s “Can You Stand The Rain” (1988). After thinking, I decided to just ask what they meant by that. They said it’s a term for “all the good things pouring down” on me. I fully understood at that point and stopped singing in my head looking for a clue in those songs lyrics. For those of you who have been reading my blog for a long time, you know that I believe that rain is necessary because without it we wouldn’t have flowers, trees and green grass. As much as rain can damage something, rain can also purify and improve something else. Rain in our lives allows us to grow and flourish even if it comes in the form of a storm. Rain can also pour down upon you in the form of success, blessings, and favor.

It’s definitely raining in my life and in my career. 

If you subscribe to the Super Newsletter and received your email this morning, you know that I am now also a correspondent blogger for Six Brown Chicks. I consider this an honor and an opportunity to do something I’m very passionate about on another platform; write. Writing is my primary gift. It’s one of the first gifts I developed as a child and it’s the one out of all the gifts I have possessed that has remained with me my entire adult life and hasn’t dwindled or gone unused. I appreciate any opportunity to share my gift of writing with the world. Six Brown Chicks has honored me with the opportunity to share my gift with an impressive audience of women of all ages, who do not yet know who I am or what I have to offer. I always use my opportunities wisely. I’m also honored to be selected because of the Six Brown Chicks mantra: Brown Chicks are women who are: Being Responsible Obedient Willingly Now. Choosing Honesty Integrity Commitment Kindness and Self-Worth. I am extremely thankful to Zondra Hughes and her team for choosing me and seeing these attributes in me as a representation of what they want to accomplish for the Six Brown Chicks brand. Zondra Hughes is someone who I have admired for a long time and having the chance to meet her this week amazed me.

One of my favorite quotes is so very fitting for what I’m experiencing. I heard it years ago and I often think of it during times when I have to make a business decision. It reminds me to assess the flow of opportunity, alliance and favor around me. It helps me select who I will say ‘yes‘ to and who I should decline offers from. It also tells me to enjoy the abundance of favor and success in my life when it comes about. It’s just five words that speak volumes and can completely alter your outlook when you understand how powerful the words really are. When we think of rain, the first thing we want to do is grab an umbrella so we can stay dry. It’s human nature for us to run indoors and get out of the rain when an umbrella may not be available to us. I’m not interested in staying dry and I’m not running indoors. I’m following the advice I heard years ago and I’m going to enjoy every raindrop that falls.

When it rains, get wet” – Quincy Jones

Six Brown Chicks New Correspondents April 2014

The Happy Dance

Everyday that I’m alive is an awesome day. There are days when I’m having an exceptionally awesome day. On those particular days I do my happy dance. My happy dance isn’t one that too many people have ever witnessed we do in public. At least not that I’m aware of. It’s a cross between twerking, krumping, the Harlem Shake (the one from Harlem NY, not the one from YouTube), and a myriad of other dances that make me look incredibly silly. If you were to ever see me do the happy dance, believe that you’d never forget it. Ask the lady that saw me doing the happy dance in my car one day, with Drake’s “The Motto” blasting from my stereo. I can only imagine the conversation she had with the next person she spoke to started with, “You should’ve seen the crazy lady in the car next to me today”.

Sometimes I do my happy dance in my chair, or in my car at a stop light, or even while cooking. Sometimes it’s randomly done when I get good news or even while I’m receiving the news. I’ve been known to break into the happy dance before replying to an email giving me good news. Although it’s not something I’m quick to do publicly, I love to do it. Sometimes my social media status update only says “*happy dance, happy dance, happy dance*“. Some Super Fans have grown to know that means I just got good news, have another accomplishment under my belt, or have completed a task I’ve been working towards. I don’t always share the details of why I’m doing the happy dance, but the news is eventually shared with everyone when it is ready to be shared. Today I did the happy dance and it felt really good. There are so many great opportunities coming in my direction that I can see myself doing it more often as the year progresses. The FabLife Radio Show is now on two internet radio networks for your listening pleasure booking guests for mid to late 2014Super Woman Productions and Publishing is hosting the only official International Women’s Day event in Michigan for the second year in a row. I recently spoke at Jaiden Shephard inaugural event Finding My Way Home at the Royal Oak Public Library. I’m going to be the media sponsor for another upcoming event in April of this year. In total Super Woman Productions and Publishing is hosting or affiliated with five events in 2014 in Metro Detroit and adding more to that number soon. As you can tell, I’m entitled to a few happy dances.

Everyone has something they do when they feel really good or receive good news; at least I think everyone should. Allowing yourself to feel the joy in an experience or accomplishment sometimes makes it more real.  So often we go through life not allowing ourselves the freedom to express joy and happiness for fear of what others may think or say, that we rob ourselves of that moment of joy. I refuse to be robbed of my moments, no matter how small. It took me to long to appreciate the small moments leading to bigger ones for me to ignore any of them going forward. Life is too short.

I encourage you to do something, anything, random, fun or funny (but healthy) when you feel joy, receive good news, have a great day or accomplish something in your life. Make a spectacle of it even if no one else is there to share it with you. Be silly with it, even if someone else is watching. Love every second of that feeling and let it take you over from your head to your toes.

Embrace it.

Enjoy it.

Then do it again.

*happy dance, happy, dance, happy dance*  

What I Learned About Myself From Dealing With My Critics

Don’t let people determine your worth based solely on their experiences or lack thereof.

Don’t let people make you feel like you need to compete with them.

Even before I was ever called Super Woman, there were always people who felt like they could tear me down with their own insecurities. They would try to damage my self-esteem, determine my value, tell me what I couldn’t do and what I’d never do. I thank God for the strength and empowering words and gifts from my grandparents that were instilled in me so deeply that I never fell too deep into what other people thought of me or wished of me, that I couldn’t come back to the surface. Even to this day, people still try it. I’ve had people smile in my face and lie on me behind my back. I’ve had people try to associate with me to improve their own self-worth and when their plans failed, they tried to curse me in the name of God. I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to.

People  claim they don’t like The FabLife Radio Show. But they don’t have a radio show, never had one and wouldn’t know what to do with one if they did. I don’t care, as long as people continue listen. Them listening to a show they claim they don’t like is giving me ratings (smile). If they don’t listen, I don’t care about their opinion because I know that it comes from a place of prejudice. I’ve had over 50 celebrity and subject matter experts just in the first year of broadcasting the show. We constantly have people email us requesting to be guests on the show. I must be doing something right.

People claim they don’t like FabLife Apparel and Accessories, yet they’ve never seen it. They try to say it’s never going to sale and no one is going to buy it. Well people have bought it, even before a single print ad or commercial has been seen publicly. Those people bought it because they like what it stands for and when they wear their shirts, they wear them proudly. Now when the doubters and haters see a celebrity walk down the street wearing one, they will all will want one, too. That will be coming soon.

Some people don’t believe in me. Some people dislike me and yet they have never met me. Many of you have the same experiences on a daily basis; at work, at school, even from relatives. Being a public figure doesn’t change that, it just exacerbates it because it’s thousands more people looking at you everyday. That in part is why I’m not too quick to be in public all the time. I never wanted to be a celebrity and I’m not keen on that word being used to describe me. I’m intelligent enough to know that I can only control that to a certain degree. The more successful I become, the more likely the word “celebrity” is going to be used to describe me. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what people call me, as long as they have the respect enough to spell my name right.

I realized awhile back that many of my experiences growing up and in the first 20 years of my adult life were a form of boot camp to prepare me for what I deal with now and will deal with as the Super Woman Brand grows. My own ambitious nature will not allow me to ever stop striving to be successful and help others. Therefore, I needed to have a coat of armor to protect me from what the world likes to dish out. As much as there are some things about my changing lifestyle I don’t much want to deal with or have caused inconveniences, I realize they are necessary. At least I didn’t wake up in the lifestyle completely unprepared and naive to it. I was gradually introduced to it and educated it on by those with more experience than myself. I was able to observe it from a realistic standpoint for a number of years before it because a part of my day-to-day experiences. I didn’t ask for any of it, but it’s the Master’s Plan for my life. If I try to fight it, I will only lose. If I embrace it, I will always be happy.

While others are doubting me, lying on me, trying to discourage others from supporting me, opportunities are getting bigger and better. The Super Woman Brand is embarking on a publishing project that will allow writers in Detroit to become published in early 2014. We’ve entered into a business relationship with Live Nation, the largest concert and venue promotion company in the entire world. We’re going to travel to other states and broadcast The FabLife Radio Show while there. We’re shooting commercials and print ads for FabLife Apparel and Accessories. We’re sponsoring and producing events in early 2014. We’re expanding our business services and our national reach. We’ve already lined up our signature events for 2014, including our official International Women’s Day event in March, our I Feel Good! Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference in August and so much more that I get dizzy trying to remember it all.

This year I was awarded the 2013 Confident Woman Award, I was recognized in the seventh edition of Who’s Who in Black Detroit. These acknowledgements indicate that I’m doing something right. While other organizations and publications honor and acknowledge the same people year after year after year, it is the smaller publications that I respect and appreciate most because they are the ones that take the time to actually seek people others may not know about yet, who are doing great things in the world. Like yours truly. This year for the first time I went from inside the pages of magazines, to being on the cover of one; Detroit CEO Magazine’s first print edition includes myself, Lacretia Rogers and Mahogany Mignon. If by chance you don’t know who they are, I encourage you to research them further. The magazine will be available to buy soon and details about the event will be shared with Super Fans.

I don’t do what I do for “likes”, I do what I do because I love it. My work fulfills me as an individual, it heightens my purpose in this world. I don’t have to compete with anyone. I am my only competition. My goal is to be better each day than I was the day before. No one can diminish that, make me doubt myself for that, make me quit or make my hurt, because I choose to live my life with purpose. It may be a purpose they don’t like or understand, but that is not my concern or problem to solve. Those who have been supportive of me for the last five years will still be five, ten or fifty years from now for the same reasons.

What happened to all of the people who tried to damage my self-esteem, determine my value, tell me what I couldn’t do and what I’d never do?

Some of them are dead, some of them are still poor, some of them still haven’t done anything with their own lives, some of them are miserable.

Had those people spent more time improving themselves, reaching their goals, competing with themselves instead of criticizing others, they too, could have accomplished much more. Life is too short to concentrate on others more than you concentrate on yourself. Life is too short to spend it talking about others and not reaching for your personal greatness.

 

Reflections On My Younger Self

I don’t think too much about my past unless a memory is triggered. That’s because I don’t believe that you can move forward in life if you’re always looking behind you hoping, wishing and praying about what you would have or could have done “only if things had been done/turned out differently”. However, I have grown to realize that my experiences have value, not just in the woman I have become, but also as a motivating factors to others.

I receive a lot of emails and messages from people who tell me something I did or said changed their lives in a positive way. I feel blessed to be a part of other people’s personal or professional growth process.  Those seemingly small gestures of gratitude from others is one of the things that keeps me motivated as well.  Knowing that I make a difference is its own reward. That is why I have intentionally made an effort to be more transparent with you, my Super Fans, about who I am as a person and some of my challenges, both professionally and personally. I hope that you enjoy this brief article written by me for another media source and feel free to share it with someone else who may benefit from it.

~ Smooches 

The Power of Self Worth