Tag Archives: esteem

Turn Down For What?

Often we go through our lives concerned about what others think to the degree that we diminish ourselves. Too often, women in particular, down play our talents, dumb ourselves down to seem less educated or intelligent and quiet ourselves up to seem less intimidating. There’s that word – intimidating. I’ve heard that a lot  in my life and until I reached my 30s I honestly didn’t understand what it meant. Men often said I was ‘intimidating‘ to them and that’s why it is difficult for men to ask me out or commit to a relationship with me. I thought it meant I was doing something wrong. I later came to the realization that wasn’t the case. In fact what I grew to understand was that

Strong Women Only Intimidate Weak Men ~ Dr. Farrah Gray 

Recently, the extremely talented Mo’Ne Davis was verbally attacked  on Twitter by a male college student who called her a “slut” because he was jealous of her.  Yes, jealous. That was his motivation whether he would admit it or not. He didn’t like that Mo’Ne Davis was shining brightly, so he called her a “slut” on social media in an attempt to take her down a notch and throw shade at her. He wanted Mo’Ne to turn down so he could build himself up. His envy of her success drove him to behave like a jealous person does – ignorantly – and he lost his opportunity in return. Mo’Ne, being the exceptional young woman that she is, forgave him, asked his college to reinstate him and publicly stated;

“Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance. I know he didn’t mean it in that type of way. I know people get tired of seeing me on TV. But sometimes you got to think about what you’re doing before you do it.

I admire her forgiveness, however, I have issue with her saying “I know people get tired of seeing me on TV” and here’s why:

As women, in general we turn our light, our shine, and our accomplishments down too much, too often and to make other people feel better about themselves just because they want to see our light lessened.  We do it in the work place, we do it at social events, we do it at family reunions and we do it with the men in our lives. As a result, we are paid less and disrespected more. We shouldn’t do this to ourselves, each other or teach other young women, like Mo’Ne, that they should either. If being successful in any shape, form or field results in others feeling envious of you, that isn’t your fault and it isn’t something you should apologize for. You shouldn’t stop doing the great things you are doing in your life or career because someone feels intimidated. You can’t control other people feeling jealous of you. You don’t have to lessen yourself to build others up. If a person’s jealousy doesn’t motivate them to do better for themselves, that’s entirely too bad for them.

I no longer care about how intimidated someone else feels when it comes to my appearance, my success, my intelligence, my height or anything else that makes other people feel ‘some type of way‘ when I enter a room or express myself.  Especially not a man. That is their issue to resolve, not mine. I will continue to be the amazing woman I am and anyone, man or woman, who can’t handle it doesn’t have to stand in my sunshine. They can go find a dark shadow to lurk under. And if Mo’Ne Davis was my daughter, I’d tell her the same thing.

The next time you encounter a situation where someone is attempting to diminish your shine, say this to yourself until you feel it resonate within yourself like the sun itself

I shine brightly, I am intelligent, I am successful, I am happy, I am beautiful, I am self assured, I am gifted, I am talented, I am loved. I live within my purpose, and I strive for personal greatness, so turn down for what? 

 

New Year – New Beginnings

I enjoy New Years. I don’t enjoy it for the parties or the pomp and circumstance. I enjoy an opportunity to have a new beginning. Even when you have a good year to begin with, having an opportunity to improve on it can be highly motivational. Whatever you didn’t finish in 2014, you can complete with bravado in 2015. Whomever or whatever you should have eliminated from your environment in 2014, can be left at the door in 2015.

New beginnings are beautiful. New beginnings are empowering. New beginnings should spark a desire within to become even better than you were yesterday, or this year. If you’ve been a fan for a while, you’re aware that I don’t believe in making resolutions. Instead, I elect to set goals for myself that can be achieved and measured. I am proud that I have completed many of my goals in 2014. Those few tasks that were completed are still many steps ahead for 2015, simply because I started on them and set realistic expectations, then I allowed the Masters Plan to improve upon them one day at a time. You can do the same. Begin your new beginning now. Not another year from now.

That goal you’ve been trying to get on the right foot with but it keeps going left, may simply need the insight of someone who can mentor you in order for it to grow and flourish. But you have to start today.

That weight you want to lose can be gone before you know it and you may just need someone to motivate you and encourage you to adopt healthier eating habits or more physical activity more often. But you have to start today. And that person to motivate you could be the same person you see in the mirror.

That education you may want to pursue might be available for free online. Google it. But you have to start today.

Some opportunities are indeed once in a lifetime; however some opportunities are there for the taking when we take the necessary steps toward them. That then creates additional opportunities that you may not realize. But you have to start today.

If Super Woman Productions and Publishing can assist you with your new beginning by helping you publish your books, by speaking at your events or for your groups to motivate you, by helping you prepare for interviews for television or radio, by advertising your products and services, or by involving you or your business in our events so that you can meet others who can assist you, those opportunities have been made available to you. That’s what the Super Woman Brand is here for and that’s what I strive to do with my books, blogs, events and words; encourageentertain and empower YOU.

Start your new year today. 

Start your new beginning today. 

 

The Rain

In my last blog I talked about how patience pays off. I received so many thank you’s from people I know, and from people I’ve never met, who read my blog. I’m glad that what I say and how I feel motivates and helps others in their personal and professional lives. The beginning of 2014 has been an amazing time in my life and I can tell it’s just the beginning. I literally feel as if blessings and opportunities are raining down upon me everywhere I go and with everything I do. Recently, I was sending someone some of my good news and they replied “I can’t stand the rain”. My brain didn’t comprehend that immediately (it was a busy day and I’m always multitasking so I get a little slow sometimes – don’t judge me), and I thought of two songs: Missy Elliott’s “The Rain” (1997) and New Edition’s “Can You Stand The Rain” (1988). After thinking, I decided to just ask what they meant by that. They said it’s a term for “all the good things pouring down” on me. I fully understood at that point and stopped singing in my head looking for a clue in those songs lyrics. For those of you who have been reading my blog for a long time, you know that I believe that rain is necessary because without it we wouldn’t have flowers, trees and green grass. As much as rain can damage something, rain can also purify and improve something else. Rain in our lives allows us to grow and flourish even if it comes in the form of a storm. Rain can also pour down upon you in the form of success, blessings, and favor.

It’s definitely raining in my life and in my career. 

If you subscribe to the Super Newsletter and received your email this morning, you know that I am now also a correspondent blogger for Six Brown Chicks. I consider this an honor and an opportunity to do something I’m very passionate about on another platform; write. Writing is my primary gift. It’s one of the first gifts I developed as a child and it’s the one out of all the gifts I have possessed that has remained with me my entire adult life and hasn’t dwindled or gone unused. I appreciate any opportunity to share my gift of writing with the world. Six Brown Chicks has honored me with the opportunity to share my gift with an impressive audience of women of all ages, who do not yet know who I am or what I have to offer. I always use my opportunities wisely. I’m also honored to be selected because of the Six Brown Chicks mantra: Brown Chicks are women who are: Being Responsible Obedient Willingly Now. Choosing Honesty Integrity Commitment Kindness and Self-Worth. I am extremely thankful to Zondra Hughes and her team for choosing me and seeing these attributes in me as a representation of what they want to accomplish for the Six Brown Chicks brand. Zondra Hughes is someone who I have admired for a long time and having the chance to meet her this week amazed me.

One of my favorite quotes is so very fitting for what I’m experiencing. I heard it years ago and I often think of it during times when I have to make a business decision. It reminds me to assess the flow of opportunity, alliance and favor around me. It helps me select who I will say ‘yes‘ to and who I should decline offers from. It also tells me to enjoy the abundance of favor and success in my life when it comes about. It’s just five words that speak volumes and can completely alter your outlook when you understand how powerful the words really are. When we think of rain, the first thing we want to do is grab an umbrella so we can stay dry. It’s human nature for us to run indoors and get out of the rain when an umbrella may not be available to us. I’m not interested in staying dry and I’m not running indoors. I’m following the advice I heard years ago and I’m going to enjoy every raindrop that falls.

When it rains, get wet” – Quincy Jones

Six Brown Chicks New Correspondents April 2014

Reflections On My Younger Self

I don’t think too much about my past unless a memory is triggered. That’s because I don’t believe that you can move forward in life if you’re always looking behind you hoping, wishing and praying about what you would have or could have done “only if things had been done/turned out differently”. However, I have grown to realize that my experiences have value, not just in the woman I have become, but also as a motivating factors to others.

I receive a lot of emails and messages from people who tell me something I did or said changed their lives in a positive way. I feel blessed to be a part of other people’s personal or professional growth process.  Those seemingly small gestures of gratitude from others is one of the things that keeps me motivated as well.  Knowing that I make a difference is its own reward. That is why I have intentionally made an effort to be more transparent with you, my Super Fans, about who I am as a person and some of my challenges, both professionally and personally. I hope that you enjoy this brief article written by me for another media source and feel free to share it with someone else who may benefit from it.

~ Smooches 

The Power of Self Worth 

 

If We Didn’t Stop Growing, We’d All Be Giants

When human beings reach adult maturation, we eventually stop growing taller. As a result, we remain whatever height we are at that time, for the remainder of our adult lives. People are different heights due to their DNA. Regardless of how you think man came to exist here, one thing is true: There had to be an off switch for growth, otherwise we all would be giants.

Sadly some of us also have an off switch when it comes to realizing our potential. We put limitations on ourselves and our way of thinking which stifles our personal growth. We make excuses for not exceeding mediocrity. We blame others for our failures. We don’t take personal responsibility for the direction our lives are going in. We limit ourselves. We stop growing. Regardless of our physical limitations, there shouldn’t be limitations placed on our other abilities. Instead of “I can’t”, more of us should learn to say “I will”.

What hinders you most? Is it what you think of yourself or do you absorb the negativity that others think of you? Is it easier for you to be mediocre than great? Is greatness too much responsibility for you to handle? Understand what I mean by greatness. Greatness isn’t the same as being rich, being a celebrity or even being the boss. Greatness is taking whatever God-given abilities and talents you have and using them completely and without apology to be the best at whatever it is that you do. I don’t care if you sweep floors, greatness is doing your personal best at sweeping those floors.

There’s a lot to be said for putting forth a little effort. Almost every idea I’ve had thus far has come to fruition. I’ve discovered that when I take one step towards making an idea a reality, everything I need to continue comes to me; the people, the connections, the resources and the money. Even when I’m down to the last few dollars I have to invest in the idea, something happens that makes those last few dollars feel like a million dollars. Remember this: everything I’ve done during the last five years that I have been in business has been financed completely by me. I’ve never had a bank loan or financial investor in any of my business endeavors, and I’m still here. Yes, I’ve taken some minor losses, but they haven’t been anything I couldn’t claim as a business expense. I’ve never had to sacrifice the roof over my head or use anything I own as collateral. I haven’t had to visit a single pawn shop or sell anything that I hold dear. That is all because I don’t stop trying. Even if I fail, I take the experience as a lesson and try to do it again but a lot better the next time around, OR I acknowledge that particular endeavor just may not be the right fit for the Super Woman Brand and I set it aside with grace and move on to the next project.

I believe I’m bigger than any of my so-called failures. I believe that every opportunity that comes my way will be something I can touch one day. Maybe not today, but one day. Provided that I continue to take small steps towards it. I know that there are a lot of naysayers who don’t believe in me or anything I do. There are also a lot of doubters and people wishing for my demise with every breath they take. I could care less. I don’t do anything that I do to please those people. I don’t live for those people. I don’t work for those people. They are not my competition, not will they deter me from my goals. Everyone isn’t going to want to ride in my life’s boat with me. Not even when it becomes a beautiful yacht. I don’t even waste time inviting everyone to come aboard. Some people aren’t worthy and if they are included, they will only try to push me overboard off of my own life’s boat. Those people who are worthy will be put in the proper time and place for us to meet. How do I know that? Because it happens almost everyday.

I refuse to let anything or anyone stunt my growth. Growth is more important than money to me. Growth adds value to a person’s life that money could never do. Yes, being a profitable business is important. But also doing something to inspire others to reach their full potential is equally important to me. I don’t have the time to personally mentor everyone who asks, although I wish I did. Many people have unfortunately declined opportunities with me that would have inevitably helped them in the long-term. I learned that can’t give forth thought to short-sighted people so I don’t waste my time trying and I don’t let it upset me. I just continue to move forward with my own goals and show by example what can happen when you make a decision and stick to it.

When I was a child I nearly towered over everyone I went to school with. Occasionally there would be one or two other girls taller than me that would distract people from staring up at me and saying “WOW! How tall ARE you?!?!?

Now, as an adult at 5’10” tall, I still  get that question and I still tower over many people, even ones who are physically taller than I am, simply because I strive to continue to grow.

I strive to grow in my industry.

I strive to grow in my business.

I strive to grow in my community.

I strive to grow my bank account.

I strive to grow my employees.

I strive to grow my network.

I strive to grow my influence.

I strive to growth my value.

And I will continue growing until I become a GIANT

 

♦Super Woman is showing other women how to become a GIANT. Attend or Sponsor the upcoming I Feel Good! Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference © Sponsored by Wayne State University on August 17, 2013 at Wayne State University. 

Estrogen Economy

It is true that people, in the Black community, in particular, need to cooperate with each and support each other more. In a time when we should be learning to co-exist more peacefully with one another we are often too divisive among ourselves. We self segregate and hold onto mindsets that set us up for failure instead of embracing those that encourage us towards greatness. I recall sometime ago when speaking with my mentor about my business goals, he asked me what my demographic is. I told him “Detroiters” are my demographic and he told me I was wrong. I said “Black folks” are my demographic and again he told me I was wrong. I admitted to him that I was confused and didn’t quite understand what he was leaning towards. He told me “Your demographic is women. Not women in Detroit. Not Black women. Women, period. No matter where you go or where you’re from, women will be able to relate to you because you are a woman, too.

Although somewhere deep down, I probably already knew that, on that day it was like the hand of God Himself granted me infinite wisdom.

Some of what I was already doing in my business model was fitting my demographic; I just needed to be fully conscious of it. 

Yes, I’m from Detroit and I love my city, even when it doesn’t love me back. Yes, I’m Black and I love my people even when they don’t treat me or each other right. But at the end of the day, I love myself. And I am a woman.  I understand what that means from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head. I understand how women often are working and trying to achieve in male dominated fields, but lack support from other women and from men. I understand how many women have to work, go to school themselves and send their kids to school as well. I understand what sacrifices women make for their loved ones. I understand the issues women have with men, relationships, self-esteem and finances. I get it because I am a woman.

I’m also smart enough to know that if I sit around and just wait for specifically Detroiters and Black folks to embrace and support me, I will never get to where I want to be.

One of the things I’m most thankful for is that I understand and embrace diversity as well. Although I’m “prowoman, my Super Team is very diverse. We range in age, experience, race, class, education and culture. However, the majority of the members on my Super Team are, in fact, other women.  This wasn’t intentional or determined by company policy. It is what is meant to be and therefore it has developed into what it is. Simple. I don’t discriminate against men, but I do find it more difficult to work with them sometimes because of their preconceived notions based on physical attraction or what their experiences tell them a woman should be able to do…and not do. I’ve had more men claim that they would love to work with me then turn around and be deceitful and dishonest in their business practices, than women have, because unfortunately, the men started off with an agenda that wasn’t about business at all. I’m not the only woman who has had this experience with men in business either. I operate my business with integrity and character and I expect the same from all the people I do business with. It just so happens that the people I can work effectively with are other women.

This year thus far has had many amazing developments for The Brand. This month has been another fast paced, yet amazing one in my Super World. And throughout it there has been a common reoccurrence. I was being approached and embraced by the women in the room, no matter where I was at. It’s one of those things you have to step outside of yourself for a moment to realize and reflect upon. It’s a moment I have to enjoy at that moment. Which I have learned to do.

Women’s Day Tea was a complete success on Friday, March 8, 2013. It was a celebration of women in hip hop and women owned businesses. At the event we had Mae Day, Lola Damone, Smiley Davis and El DeBarge Jr. in attendance. Everyone that attended said how much they enjoyed the event. Many of whom wanted to know when we’d have another event and if we’d have another Women’s Day Tea in 2014. The answers are ‘yes‘ and ‘yes‘. I was so happy that everyone else enjoyed themselves. All of the stress was definitely worth the smiles and ‘thank you’s‘ from everyone.

We’re working towards completion of the I Feel Good: Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference this August. The goal is to reach young women and show them possibilities that will help them become stronger, better, more confident adult women; and help adult women become stronger and better as well. The goal is not to make women into what men think they should be, but to teach women to embrace what womanhood truly IS.  Womanhood is not us tearing each other down (‘she’s fake’, ‘look at her, she thinks she cute’, ‘I don’t like her because of her shoes’); it’s about us building and lifting each other up. Building and lifting each other up sometimes will require positive reinforcement, correction and constructive criticism. Those things are not esteem or dream killers; they are strength and confidence builders. We’re looking for ways to save money on the venues and materials as well so that we can have the young ladies ages 11 – 18 attend for free and then pass the additional cost savings on to women attending over the age of 18. We’ve also added the option of In-Kind donations for the items that we need to make the event a success, such as beverages, lunch, marketing materials and advertising. We’re seeking media partners across Metro Detroit who may be interested in being title sponsors in exchange for helping us get the word out. I Feel Good: Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference is promised to be another successful Super Woman Productions and Publishing event held in Detroit, just like the two we’ve had so far in 2013.

About a week before Women’s Day Tea, a brilliant concept popped into my head from God. It was two simple words:

Estrogen Economy ©

What is it? What can it do? How do we get it? And yes, I’m copyrighting it. It’s about to be huge.

Prior to the concept being gifted to me, I was already contributing to the concept. Women’s Day Tea on Friday, March 8, 2013 was clearly evidence of that. Super Woman Productions and Publishing was the only company in the state of Michigan that held an official celebration of International Women’s Day. That’s one point for the Estrogen Economy© already. Over the next several months, my other upcoming projects will also contribute to the Estrogen Economy© in many ways as well. I hope other women, and companies throughout the state of Michigan, will join this initiative over the next several months. Some have already indicated that they will. That makes me smile.

#EstrogenEconomy – 2013 through ∞