Tag Archives: clarity

Productivity Is Addictive

I don’t smoke.

I only drink when I’m happy and my limit is two.

I’ve been celibate and I haven’t been on a single date by choice for seven….wait, eight months now.

I admit that if I have any one addiction, it is that I’m addicted to doing things well and being productive in my life and career.

It is an addiction that has cost me friends and relationships for several years. However, I’m not willing to go to rehab to trade-off being productive in exchange for making other people happy. I don’t know if this addiction is genetic or if it was learned behavior; both of my grandparents were hardworking people. Maybe I’m just highly ambitious or I’m aware that having the ability to do what I’d like to do in life isn’t free in the sense that some people think it is. Regardless, I’m an addict. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is check to see if I received any important emails while I was asleep. I quickly try to get replies out, often while squinting my eyes as the adjust to the light of the smart phone in the dark. To some people, that may be an annoyance and I’ve had people say to me “you get up early”. Well, I figure if someone can email me late at night, I can reply early in the morning.

I have my ‘to-do list’ like the planner I am, but I try to allow flexibility in my list for the Master’s Plan. I’ve learned that the plans I make will often need adjustment for one reason or another, particularly this year. I hired an assistant and she is amazing. That helps me to remain calm, focused and productive and people who know me very well can see the improvement. I now have exactly fifteen minutes extra every day that I can use to work on whatever I’m working on of importance that day. And when the day is over, I feel really good. There are events and commitments on my agenda up through December 2014 already and I’m looking forward to each and every one of them. The sacrifices I’ve made are well worth the blessings and opportunities I have received thus far. Sometimes you have to give up something you wanted to receive something you need.

I have goals that include expansion of the Super Woman Brand on a global level and I’m taking the small, yet necessary, steps to achieve those goals. I view each collaboration as an opportunity to introduce more people to the Super Woman Brand and its value. I couldn’t do half of what I’ve done, or a third of what I’m going to do in my career this year without my addiction.

It keeps me going. It wakes me up in the morning. It hugs me close in bed at night. It’s why complete strangers say I’m successful.

My journey hasn’t been without its challenges but I can truly say, my addiction (need) to be productive is definitely paying off.

 

Look For Inspiration In Everything

People often seek inspiration in the hope that something will hit them like a bolt of lightning and catapult them into greatness. When people don’t find the inspiration they seek, they then become defeated, never realizing that inspiration was all around them the entire time, but they were too focused on seeking it somewhere particular. When I’m interviewed or even sometimes in general, people will ask me what has been my inspiration. I don’t recall all of the answers I may have given over the last five years, but at the core, I’m inspired by life. I’m inspired to live a purposeful life, whatever that may be. I don’t have a definition for it. And there honestly isn’t a deep explanation either. But because I’m inspired to live purposefully, I don’t seek to find inspiration in a magic pill or miraculous experience.

My life before many of you knew who I was, was often filled with experiences that were sometimes devastating. I’ve had more than my fair share of near death experiences and drama. Where some of those situations would have driven other people completely crazy, they strengthened me to want to do better, live better, be happier and not rely on other people to help me get there. Not to say that I don’t have the occasional obstacle, but I have a lot less of them than I would have had otherwise. I’ve embraced my inner strength and made it an essential part of my life and my career. As a result I now have more options that I can use.

My journey has also brought me to a place where I see inspiration in everything. Everything?! Yes, everything. I don’t seek inspiration solely from other people. I find it all around me on a daily basis. Inspiration is in the sunrise every morning. Inspiration is in Jill Scott’s “Golden“. Inspiration is sometimes even in a color palette of eyeshadow on Sephora.com. I’m serious. I look for inspiration in everything I see, hear and experience on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes, inspiration is present and sometimes it isn’t. When it isn’t I don’t get upset, defeated or worried either. I acknowledge that instance was a second in time that will pass and life goes on. I’ve been inspired to reach out to different people to express interest in business with them. Sometimes I get a positive response from that person and sometimes I get a completely negative response such as a rude email. If it’s the latter, so what. Life goes on and I keep it moving. It doesn’t diminish or tarnish my inspiration. I just know that is one person I will not consider for any future possibilities. They go on the “do not associate with” list. I’m not exaggerating either, I really do have such a list. I have that list because it inspires me not to put myself in uncomfortable or compromising situations with individuals I know I can’t do business with.  Which also eliminates the potential for drama. See, inspiration can be in everything.

I encourage everyone to start looking for inspiration in everything around you, where you go, the color of the sky, that day’s experiences…everything. Do it for about two weeks and see if it changes your life even a bit. I’m not saying the all the inspiration will feel good. Some of what you begin to see inspiration in will cause you to see some things differently or make some hard choices about your life, your relationships or your career. But hard choices that you are willing to make to improve who you are as a person are never a bad thing, no matter how hurt you may feel in that moment. But first you have to recognize inspiration in different forms instead of hoping for it to come down from heaven like a dove. God puts messages in small places. We have to just be open to them.

I recently added Super Woman Productions and Publishing to Pinterest. As I was pinning and creating boards for current and future public viewing, I found images that were inspirational to me for different reasons. This prompted me to create a board titled Look For Inspiration In Everything. I hope you will check out my boards, and that you will begin to look for inspiration in everything too.

 

Super Woman Brand On Pinterest

 

How To Get A Man To Pay Your Bills

Everyday a large amount of traffic comes to my website from women searching for “how to get a man to pay your bills“. I honestly have no idea how that happens because I’ve never written anything on that topic to my knowledge. I’ve written quite a bit and I really can’t remember everything I’ve ever written, so it may be a combination of the words resulting in the hits. Well, due to supply and demand, I decided to give a quick lesson on the subject.

Here’s how you get a man to pay your bills!

 

1. Don’t have any bills.

If you’re deep in financial debt in this economy, and you meet a man who also has financial responsibilities, the likelihood that he will want to pay your bills is very slim. Single men have bills also, even if they don’t have children. The only single men without bills are most likely living in their parent’s basement or still sleeping in the room they grew up in. That man can’t pay anyone’s bills or he’d have his own house. And let’s be honest, if you were already dating the wealthiest caliber of men to begin with, you wouldn’t be looking for a man to pay your bills in the first place.

2. Don’t ask a man to pay your bills.

Men look at women who ask for them to pay their bills as gold diggers. And that’s me being nice. Men actually call women who ask them to pay their bills garden tools. Here’s the thing, if you have something you can’t afford, a man doesn’t view it as his responsibility to make sure you keep it, particularly if you’re just “some chick” he met at the club, at the party, or even at church. Living above your means is not anyone’s problem but yours. So if you can’t afford that house, car, jewelry, those purses or shoes you covet, you may need to stop buying them or downsize until you can.

3. Don’t be a side chick.

In this society, the side chick gets nothing because she doesn’t know what her role is and has allowed herself to become over saturated. The over saturation of anything depletes its value. Therefore, the side chick (also referred to as the “jump off”, mistress or other woman) is no longer a commodity or convenience for a man to have. As a result, the smartest men will either elect to stay single, so they can date whomever they want, or get married and remain as faithful as possible. Smart men know that having a side chick is not worth losing everything they’ve worked for, no matter how beautiful she is or how good the sex is. The side chick is not likely to ever become his wife either, even if he does lose his marriage because of her. Plus, in this economy, unless a man is very wealthy (like Richard Branson wealthy), the wife isn’t necessarily going to divorce him. She may very well remain married to him and make his life miserable for as long as she feels like it. Either way, the wife gets everything.   

4. Become the wife.

Like I already said, the wife gets everything. The type of man who would pay a woman’s bills wants a woman who has proven herself to be loyal, outside of his wallet and bank account. She has had his back and held him down and when needed, she has also held him up. One example of this is seen in President and First Lady Obama. The woman a man of substance marries has been his motivating factor, his muse and his best friend. She may not be the mother of his children. She may not be the most beautiful woman in the world. She may not even be the smartest light bulb in the box. However, she has been his ego stroke when he needed it, and the necessary reality check when his ego got out of control. She has encouraged him more than she has belittled him. When he gets sick, she not only takes care of him, but she’ll make sure his business doesn’t fall to nothing by calling his supervisor and his doctor. That woman who made him feel better, stronger and taller than he’s ever felt before is the woman he will marry. And that man will pay her bills.

5. Be independent.

The only thing worse than a woman who walks around saying she doesn’t need a man, is a woman who is needy and can’t live without a man in her life. Men who pay bills, like women who have joy and purpose in their lives without needing a man around. A man wants to know that if something tragic were to happen to him (death, dismemberment or illness), that woman can take care of the kids, the house, the cars and the dog, without having to move another man in the very next day. If you can’t do anything for yourself, if you can’t go anywhere by yourself, if you have to always have a man’s attention to feel good about yourself, you will never get a man to pay your bills. You might be nice to look at, have sex with, go to the club with, but you aren’t going to be the woman who gets that man to pay her bills without being considered a garden tool in the process. When a man of substance opens his wallet, he likes to feel like a man while doing it; not like customer number 9

 6. Establish standards and goals that have nothing to do with getting a man to pay your bills.

This is highly essential in your pursuit. If your only standard is a man who will pay your bills and getting such a man is your primary focus and goal for a relationship, you might attain that…but at a cost. There’s a big difference between a man with money and a man who is chivalrous. A man could have all the money in the world. He could drive an expensive car, live in an expensive house, wear expensive clothes and have all the expensive toys he could ever dream of having. That does not mean that he is going to spend his money on you and your bills. In my experience, some of these same men are very insecure and selfish with their money. They don’t mind spending it on themselves and will do so at anytime, but the minute they meet you, they become afraid of letting you near their bank accounts. That’s because they didn’t grow up with money. They are what is considered “new money” or first generation money. Whatever they have financially, they had to either work  extremely hard for it, won the lottery or did something illegal to attain it. Therefore, giving it up isn’t easy for them. And if you manage to get them to give you their money, you now become their property. It’s a lot better to have a man who is chivalrous. A man who is chivalrous believes that his role in his WIFE’S life is to be a provider and he will spend money to make her smile, because he works hard, in every way, for her: he put in time and energy to meet her, court her and has invested his emotions into her. He cares for her and wants the two of them to have a good relationship. Buying gifts, paying bills, and so-on, are something he considers to be a part of who he is as a man in that particular woman’s life. He does so willingly, not by manipulation. Instead, develop personal goals and standards that will attribute to you building your own wealth and being able to pay your own bills. Upgrade yourself and your lifestyle by yourself. If your idea of traveling is going to Chicago for the weekend, you can’t expect to meet a man who has lived in Italy and speaks fluent Italian. You might have to actually go to Italy for that. Which means you need to have your own money. If you work harder at improving your financial situation without the aid of a man, your overall life will improve tremendously, and so will the caliber of men you meet. You attract what you are.    

This may not have been the advice you were searching for when you Googled, however, I don’t write, or speak to people just to tell them what they want to hear. That’s counterproductive. It only results in people continuing to do the same thing expecting different results. I tell people the truth, whether they like it or not. You don’t have to take my advice or adjust your mindset. It won’t change my life one bit if you don’t. However, if you pay attention, and look at yourself hard and long, take my words and put them into practice, it might change YOUR life for the better.     

~ When you know better, you do better.

What If Justice Wasn’t Blind?

Michael David Dunn

257 Ocean Residence Ct

Satellite Beach, FL 32937

 

Dear Michael,

What if instead of justice being blind, it was an eye for an eye? What if the system that you hide behind said that because you took a life, you had to give one equal to it other than your own? What if because you killed Jordan and shot at his friends, any of us other mothers and fathers across this country could come to your house and kill your child and shoot at your family? How would that make you feel?

I ask because it doesn’t matter that Jordan and his friends were young Black men. It doesn’t matter that you are white and apparently become violent after you drink. All that matters is that you thought you had the right to kill someone else for no reason. Music isn’t a weapon aimed at you. There was no gun in the car. None of the teenagers had a gun on their person. In fact, the only person wielding a weapon that day was YOU. YOU who thinks you have the right to police everyone else’s taste in music, actions and whereabouts. Yet you don’t have any self-discipline to police yourself. YOU, the coward, who thinks he can kill young Black men because you think they are beneath you. You, who thinks lying about feeling threatened will get you acquitted. You are an ignorant, prejudiced, homicidal maniac, who has absolutely no respect for human life.

You had just witnessed your son get married. Were you not happy about that occasion? Was it really necessary for you to leave a day of celebration and make someone else’s life a day of tragedy? You are a piece of trash. Not because I say so; but because your actions and excuses for them make you so. If someone had walked into your son’s wedding, just hours prior, and decided to shoot him because they didn’t like the wedding music he had elected to play, how would that have made you feel?

These are the things you need to consider while you spend the rest of your life in prison. I also want you to know that as a mother of a young Black man, had that been my son you killed, you’d already be dead.  I believe in an eye for an eye. Be thankful you get to remain breathing for a moment, Michael. I hope the state of Florida ends that soon and sentences you to execution along with the other 401 prisoners on the list. That probably won’t happen though, because it seems that the only people who are executed quickly and without remorse in Florida are young Black men, and you don’t fit the criteria.

I pray that if you and your buddy, George Zimmerman (with whom you apparently share the same hobby of killing innocent people), don’t get the execution you greatly deserve, that in exchange the two of you spend the rest of your lives getting raped in prison. The two of you aren’t what we would call “real” killers, so you won’t be able to handle what they do to you in there. No punishment handed down is powerful enough to bring Jordan and Trayvon back to their parents, but maybe it will make you appreciate human life a lot more before you die.  

 

Sincerely,

A mother of a young Black man and a citizen of the United States of America demanding justice

~ The “Stand Your Ground” law is a racist and prejudiced device used in Florida to kill us, not protect us. It is unequally applied at the whim of the judges and prosecutors. A Black woman, Marissa Alexander, was sentenced to prison for 20 years in 2012, for shooting a warning shot into a wall because her physically abusive husband attacked her. Yet, Michael Dunn and George Zimmerman both killed young Black men, who were minding their own business in public, not abusing anyone or committing any felonies in the process during the same year (2012) using the same exact defense. This is Michael Dunn’s real home address.

What I Learned In Therapy

I completed my relationship therapy. *Happy Dance* Now I’m a lot more comfortable with everything going on in my life. I’m more comfortable being single. I’m more comfortable doing business with men. I’m more comfortable with who I am. Although I had a fear of being alone, in the end there isn’t anythingwrongwith me. In fact, my career is my “husband” for now; and contrary to what others may think, right now my career treats me very well. It doesn’t lie to me. It doesn’t cheat on me. It doesn’t blame me for its problems. It gives me a warm glow that people find attractive. It puts a smile on my face and gives me something to look forward to. Sounds like I’m already in a good, healthy and fulfilling relationship.

I still don’t like or appreciate people who are dishonest. But that just shows that I have character and will not allow people to insult my intelligence with their lies. I’m still hardworking and ambitious to a fault, but I’ve learned that it is perfectly fine for me to enjoy my mini-accomplishments just as much as I enjoy my BIG ones. I discovered that is okay for me to occasionally pat myself on the backmean it and not apologize for it. I just needed confirmation from someone on the outside looking in, with a truly unbiased viewpoint, who would not tell me what they thought I wanted to hear, that I am not “crazy”, “insecure”, “delusional” or “full of trust issues” that are “preventing me from having good relationships”. In fact, I’m not the person with the problem at all. I just don’t believe in unicorns, and I refuse to allow others to convince me that unicorns exist when I’m well aware that they do not.

I like reality. I accept change. I embrace the truth, no matter how painful.

I’m just fine, regardless of what other people, who believe in unicorns, may think.

Now I’ve spread my wings even more. I now have my radio show called The FabLife Radio Show. The first week’s show that aired on Friday, October 12 had almost 400 listeners (at last count). *Happy Dance* This week I’d like to see that number increase tremendously. But even if it goes to just 401, I’ll still be happy. And I think all of my Super Fans for making those numbers possible. {Make sure you check out the current Super Fan Offers for my token of appreciation}

I had to let some things and people “go” in the last few days. I just don’t have the time or patience for people who don’t see the BIGGER picture. I like forward thinking people. Those are the people I want to collaborate and do business with. Those are the people who understand growth and marketability. During my therapy I learned that having realistic standards is a good thing. I learned that listening to your instincts is a good thing. I learned that having goals is a good thing. And I learned that along this path in life, there will be many times when others just won’t understand that. I learned that as a result, I have to be ready to say “good-bye” and sometimes “good riddance” to those people, in order to allow people who do understand to have the opportunity instead.

It’s actually very simple when you think about it. 

So I’m forging ahead. I have a great deal of work ahead of me and a great deal of success to enjoy. God speed to those I had to leave behind, cut ties with and delete. I hope that they will find their way to whatever they are searching for in life… It just won’t be with me.

 

~ When you truly know your worth, you don’t need to lower your standards to make others happy. If they can’t step up, tell them to step aside. #MogulMindset – Super Woman 

 

 

The LeBron James Factor

Being an entrepreneur is not the same as having a business of your own. It takes more than that. Being an entrepreneur is not a selfish attempt. Being an entrepreneur is a great deal of responsibility and to whom much is given, much is required. Entrepreneurs have to be able to make decisions for  themselves and others, understanding how others may react to those decisions and yet be strong enough and willing not to feel pressured to make the “popular” decision just to appease someone else. This factor is sometimes what separates the successful entrepreneur from someone who just wants to own a business. An entrepreneur is often the person who will build a business from an idea into a brick and mortar building with employees, whereas a person who wants to be in business for themselves may only want to do the type of work that someone else tells them will generate additional income. There’s nothing wrong with the opportunity to generate income, but most entrepreneurs will sometimes bypass an opportunity such as that because they are concentrating their energy, time and talents into building their idea into something tangible.

I’m an entrepreneur. A media entrepreneur, specifically. In my field I have to find better, different and interesting ways to do what I do. I am The Company, The Woman and The Brand. I have goals that I’m striving to attain that will benefit my entity as a whole. I am responsible for the failure and success of Super Woman Productions and Publishing, even with other people working with and for me. If I do well, I’ll receive the credit. If I fail, I’ll be stoned. Not literally, of course, but you get the jest of it. Being ‘the boss‘ requires that I sometimes make decisions that may be unpopular to others or even upset people. It’s necessary to protect the brand. It’s what I call the LeBron James Factor. When LeBron left Cleveland he was doing so to improve the level of his success and to achieve goals that he had set for himself. As we all know, it wasn’t the popular decision and resulted in the entire city of Cleveland turning their backs on him. However, LeBron’s decision was necessary for him, regardless of how others may have felt about it. He was strong enough and willing to upset others for the growth of his career. He didn’t kill, assault, defraud or otherwise violate anyone in his decision – even if the residents of Cleveland felt like he did at the time. He did what he had to do. In my opinion he didn’t owe an explanation or apology for it either. It was a business decision.

I recently had to make a business decision to protect the Super Woman Brand. That business decision has resulted in the creation of The FabLife Radio Show along with Andre “Mista Ecks” Harris. I didn’t expect to be in the position where I’d have to make this business decision after only four short months of co-hosting a previous radio show, but when an entrepreneur is faced with a situation that requires a decision, the entrepreneur makes a business decision. Period. It’s the LeBron James Factor. The decision I made may not have been the popular one and it may have upset others in the process. However, in order to achieve my goals, I have to be willing to make the tough decisions and live with them. In order to achieve my goals, I have to be able to see a better opportunity for the Super Woman Brand when it presents itself. In order to achieve my goals, I have to sometimes overlook other people’s opinions and feelings if they contradict what I’m trying to accomplish. I’m responsible for other people and my success helps them. If I lag or stay in situations that don’t allow growth, I’m not just hindering myself, I’m hindering them as well. That is not acceptable.

The FabLife Radio Show will be an information sharing radio show. Meaning we are going to entertain you, enlighten you and inspire you by providing current events, entertainment, lifestyle and fashion news going on in Detroit and elsewhere. So far, the show has not yet aired, but we already have interest from potential advertisers and people are already asking to be guests on the show. I thank my Super Fans for that. You help people become more aware of me and what I do by sharing my newsletters, blogs and tweets with your audiences, friends and family. I appreciate you very much.

I’m really looking forward to the airing of The FabLife Radio Show each and every Friday at 7 pm eastern for however long we are blessed to remain on air. I’m also looking forward to my business partnership with Andre Harris, who is very talented. You’ll get to see more of his talents in upcoming months. If you have an upcoming event or a business that you’d like to advertise on the show, feel free to submit the Contact Us form to receive the ad rates by email. Thank you in advance for your support of my next step in entertainment!

 

“Maybe those ones burning my jerseys were never LeBron fans anyway.”- LeBron James