Tag Archives: career

Turn Down For What?

Often we go through our lives concerned about what others think to the degree that we diminish ourselves. Too often, women in particular, down play our talents, dumb ourselves down to seem less educated or intelligent and quiet ourselves up to seem less intimidating. There’s that word – intimidating. I’ve heard that a lot  in my life and until I reached my 30s I honestly didn’t understand what it meant. Men often said I was ‘intimidating‘ to them and that’s why it is difficult for men to ask me out or commit to a relationship with me. I thought it meant I was doing something wrong. I later came to the realization that wasn’t the case. In fact what I grew to understand was that

Strong Women Only Intimidate Weak Men ~ Dr. Farrah Gray 

Recently, the extremely talented Mo’Ne Davis was verbally attacked  on Twitter by a male college student who called her a “slut” because he was jealous of her.  Yes, jealous. That was his motivation whether he would admit it or not. He didn’t like that Mo’Ne Davis was shining brightly, so he called her a “slut” on social media in an attempt to take her down a notch and throw shade at her. He wanted Mo’Ne to turn down so he could build himself up. His envy of her success drove him to behave like a jealous person does – ignorantly – and he lost his opportunity in return. Mo’Ne, being the exceptional young woman that she is, forgave him, asked his college to reinstate him and publicly stated;

“Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance. I know he didn’t mean it in that type of way. I know people get tired of seeing me on TV. But sometimes you got to think about what you’re doing before you do it.

I admire her forgiveness, however, I have issue with her saying “I know people get tired of seeing me on TV” and here’s why:

As women, in general we turn our light, our shine, and our accomplishments down too much, too often and to make other people feel better about themselves just because they want to see our light lessened.  We do it in the work place, we do it at social events, we do it at family reunions and we do it with the men in our lives. As a result, we are paid less and disrespected more. We shouldn’t do this to ourselves, each other or teach other young women, like Mo’Ne, that they should either. If being successful in any shape, form or field results in others feeling envious of you, that isn’t your fault and it isn’t something you should apologize for. You shouldn’t stop doing the great things you are doing in your life or career because someone feels intimidated. You can’t control other people feeling jealous of you. You don’t have to lessen yourself to build others up. If a person’s jealousy doesn’t motivate them to do better for themselves, that’s entirely too bad for them.

I no longer care about how intimidated someone else feels when it comes to my appearance, my success, my intelligence, my height or anything else that makes other people feel ‘some type of way‘ when I enter a room or express myself.  Especially not a man. That is their issue to resolve, not mine. I will continue to be the amazing woman I am and anyone, man or woman, who can’t handle it doesn’t have to stand in my sunshine. They can go find a dark shadow to lurk under. And if Mo’Ne Davis was my daughter, I’d tell her the same thing.

The next time you encounter a situation where someone is attempting to diminish your shine, say this to yourself until you feel it resonate within yourself like the sun itself

I shine brightly, I am intelligent, I am successful, I am happy, I am beautiful, I am self assured, I am gifted, I am talented, I am loved. I live within my purpose, and I strive for personal greatness, so turn down for what? 


IWD – It’s Not What You May Think

Happy International Women’s Day!

Today we celebrate the economic, political and social achievements of women from all around the world, past and present. Today we also reflect and advocate on behalf of women’s issue and gender equality and social equity.

At Super Woman Productions and Publishing we contribute to International Women’s Day by hosting the only official IWD event in Michigan each March 8, called Women’s Day Tea. This year isn’t any different. However, for the first year this year, I ran into a small roadblock. In Detroit, I’m accustomed to people being behind in receiving and sharing information. I’m also accustomed to people not being receptive to something that is different from what they typically know about or are exposed to. Detroit isn’t the most innovative place in the world, like it once was.  It takes time for people to understand the value of something “different”.  Although I’m accustomed to these factors, I don’t accept them and I find ways to work around them.

This year, however, I received a lot of inquiries from women business owners whose only interest in Women’s Day Tea was to be a vendor at the event. I literally received messages on social media, by phone and email asking if there were any vendor tables left for the event. They didn’t seem to understand that vending wasn’t the purpose of the event and that I only offer four vendor tables to create an added feature and opportunity for women-business owners in Detroit, that would help them to meet and interact with other successful women in hopes it will encourage them and help them economically. Most of the women who contacted me by phone immediately dismissed me (practically hanging up on me) when I told them that vendor tables were sold out, and they didn’t allow me an opportunity to invite them to attend. Women who contacted me by email, didn’t accept my invitation to attend and responded with “let me know next time you have an event with vendors”.  Very disappointing.

When I vented about this sudden upswing of women business owners only wanting to be vendors at events and not understanding the importance of IWD as a whole, someone had the audacity to suggest that I should just turn the event into a vending event since so many people seem to want that and, in essence, just take the women’s money since they didn’t know any better.  That’s not the type of business woman I am and that does not contribute to the purpose of IWD.

In my post event surveys from Women’s Day Tea for two prior years, attendees stated that the event vendors were not the primary reason they attended the event or would attend again. Those who attend, attend to celebrate the purpose of International Women’s Day more than they attend to buy products from vendors at the event. In fact, their attendance still supports women-owned businesses, and attendees network with each other and hopefully support each others’ businesses and community projects after the event concludes. So, if my paying attendees have an understanding of the goal of the event and attend because of that goal, why would I want to shift the focus to please those who don’t have an understanding? I wouldn’t. And there are thousands of other events all over Michigan, throughout the year, if women want to buy a vendor table for a few hours or an entire day. I stuck to my guns. I did not turn Women’s Day Tea into a vending event or expo.

As a result this is what happened:

I received an email from an internet television program asking if they could cover the event; they now have a level of exclusivity and “bragging rights” because they get to cover the only official International Women’s Day event in MichiganWalt Disney Pictures contacted me and asked if they can send representatives to give away promotional items to the event attendees. Of course I said ‘yes‘ and it may turn into future business opportunities with Walt Disney Pictures. At the last-minute, for online ticket sales, tickets were still selling. I woke up this morning to emails from women asking if they can pay at the door.

At 6 pm today, Women’s Day Tea will take place as planned. The ladies who attend today will have a delicious and fun time, receive gifts and giveaways, network and celebrate the purpose of International Women’s Day with one another. Selected women in attendance will be awarded as #MakeItHappen honorees. Those women who opted not to attend Women’s Day Tea because they only wanted to be a vendor, have unfortunately lost out on opportunities to be vendors at the I Feel Good! Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference in August at Wayne State University, where we have up to 20 vendor tables available.  I have learned that sometimes passing up one opportunity because it doesn’t fit what you think it should, results in other missed opportunities. I truly wish more women in Detroit would realize that. That’s today’s lesson on being short-sighted, I suppose. 

There’s Always More

It’s always been my opinion that as an entrepreneur, you’re never not working towards building or improving your business. If you wake up in the morning and you don’t have anything to do, you’re not hands on enough in your business and that could have dire consequences. It’s not that you have to go to an office every day, or that you need to micromanage your staff, but you should know exactly what is taking place with your business and have a system in place to be informed of it on a regular basis.

If you’re as hands on as I am with your business [which is not necessarily recommended, but for me, that’s just how it is], you soon realize you are never done. There is always more.

There’s always more to do, more to learn, more to accomplish, more to research.

And if you do those things right and well, there are always new opportunities that you can take advantage of because of your entrepreneurial vision and the work you dedicate towards it.

For example, I went from having no annual events to having two after 5 years in business, now four before my seventh year in business. I went from having no community and nonprofit partnerships in my first six years, to now having two with Karmanos Cancer Institute and Lung Force. I went from blogging on what was once the Essence Community Ning-site (which has since been dismantled) to blogging for Six Brown Chicks. I went from have one or two articles and features published about me in the entire year of 2011 to having nine (plus) articles and features published about me in the last six months alone…and there are more pending. There is always more.

There is always more work to do, more to learn, more to accomplish and more to research.

I wrote a little book, this year, called Breaking Through the Black Ceiling, which took me less than a year to complete. I already have the foundation for two more books; one work of erotic fiction and one based on a true story. Before I could finish those, I was referred to very promising funding opportunities for some of the television and web series scripts I’ve had lying around for the last few years. These scripts have been waiting for their turn to come to fruition before an audience and they will soon get it. Because there’s always more.

The only thing I can’t seem to get more of is time. However, that isn’t an issue if the time I have is spent wisely and used for the purposes of being more productive and more profitable. That is what an entrepreneur should do based on my experience, not what is taught in business school. As I look forward, 2015 has a great deal of promise in it because there is always more. I’ve already had planning meetings and discussions about 2015 events and the expansion of them. We’re already considering guests for Fridays in 2015 for The FabLife Radio Show, which is now in season 3. And that’s not all, because there’s always more.

There isn’t a day that I wake up and don’t have something to do. Even if I initially think I don’t, that thought changes very quickly when I see or hear something that sparks an idea or completes an existing one. That may be the major difference between being a media entrepreneur like myself and another entrepreneur in a different industry – the type of task and the process of getting to it. But a task in need of tackling is still inevitable. It has to be. Growth and sustainability are paramount in building a business from the ground up, regardless of what type of business it is. There is always more.

I’m writing this blog in the between taking webinars and participating in conference calls. No joke. I also checked my social media analytics and scheduled posts for later this evening and tomorrow morning while writing this. I’m not bragging, I’m just reiterating that there is always something for an entrepreneur to do where their business is concerned. If you call yourself an entrepreneur and you’re finding yourself bored without anything to do on any given day, please reevaluate how serious you are about being an entrepreneur. Even if it’s planning the holiday party for your staff (or hiring someone to do it), there should be something on the horizon for you to look forward to completing, learning or accomplishing for your business. If you don’t know what it might be, download Breaking Through the Black Ceiling and see if it helps you uncover what it may be.





My #FabLife40th Birthday

This is a monumental year for me. As I mentioned in an earlier post this year, I’m celebrating my #FabLife40th birthday this year! I’m celebrating the entire year by doing two things: by being a blessing to others and building upon what I’ve already started with the Super Woman Brand. In lieu of accepting gifts for my #FabLife40th birthday, I’m asking Super Fans to support two nonprofit organizations by giving a donation of $20 each for a total of $40 to commemorate the 40 years of my life.

If you’re new to my life story, you may not know that each year that I’ve celebrated my birthday is very special to me since my 30th birthday. I don’t need to celebrate with a party or cake and ice cream. I don’t need a lot of people around me or a lot of gifts either. I celebrate my birthday by setting attainable personal and professional goals. My birthday is also very special to me because I was diagnosed with a chronic illness when I was 26 and told that I could die by the age of 30. So turning 40 is quite an accomplishment for me and my health has tremendously improved. I feel blessed to breathe everyday. There are two times in my life that mean a great deal to me. When I was a child and looking forward to becoming a senior adult. That is why I’m a board member for two specific organizations. Real Life. My Music is a nonprofit organization in Detroit that provides after school programs in arts, dance and music for school aged children, while St. Patrick’s Senior Center is a nonprofit organization in Detroit that provides services and programs for senior adults.

When I was a child I was very blessed and fortunate to have opportunities to formally study dance and music. Not all children have those opportunities now. Real Life. My Music helps to bridge that gap so that we can have a generation of well-rounded children who become well-rounded adults. As I get older, I hope to have access to the services and programs provided by St. Patrick’s Senior Center so that I can have an active life in my golden years. That is why I selected these two organizations to support.

Therefore, in honor of my milestone #FabLife40th birthday, I’d like those who support me, to support the organizations I donate my time and resources to.  It’s just that simple. No gifts. No gift cards. Just a $20 donation to each organization anytime between now and December 31, 2014. That’s all I want from my Super Fans for my #FabLife40th birthday.

This is also just one of the many ways I plan to bless others during this year, along with the upcoming events, I Feel Good! Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference in August, Detroit Women In the Arts Wikipedia Edit-Athon in October and my summer release of “Breaking Through the Black Ceiling” with a portion of sales being donated to Karmanos Cancer Institute in honor of Mark England.

I appreciate you in advance for supporting initiatives that are much needed in Metro Detroit for our children, senior adults and our community.


~Super Woman 


To make a $20 donation to St. Patrick’s Senior Center click here. 

To make a $20 donation to Real Life. My Music click here. 

To support upcoming Super Events, please contact us using the Contact Us form here.


Productivity Is Addictive

I don’t smoke.

I only drink when I’m happy and my limit is two.

I’ve been celibate and I haven’t been on a single date by choice for seven….wait, eight months now.

I admit that if I have any one addiction, it is that I’m addicted to doing things well and being productive in my life and career.

It is an addiction that has cost me friends and relationships for several years. However, I’m not willing to go to rehab to trade-off being productive in exchange for making other people happy. I don’t know if this addiction is genetic or if it was learned behavior; both of my grandparents were hardworking people. Maybe I’m just highly ambitious or I’m aware that having the ability to do what I’d like to do in life isn’t free in the sense that some people think it is. Regardless, I’m an addict. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is check to see if I received any important emails while I was asleep. I quickly try to get replies out, often while squinting my eyes as the adjust to the light of the smart phone in the dark. To some people, that may be an annoyance and I’ve had people say to me “you get up early”. Well, I figure if someone can email me late at night, I can reply early in the morning.

I have my ‘to-do list’ like the planner I am, but I try to allow flexibility in my list for the Master’s Plan. I’ve learned that the plans I make will often need adjustment for one reason or another, particularly this year. I hired an assistant and she is amazing. That helps me to remain calm, focused and productive and people who know me very well can see the improvement. I now have exactly fifteen minutes extra every day that I can use to work on whatever I’m working on of importance that day. And when the day is over, I feel really good. There are events and commitments on my agenda up through December 2014 already and I’m looking forward to each and every one of them. The sacrifices I’ve made are well worth the blessings and opportunities I have received thus far. Sometimes you have to give up something you wanted to receive something you need.

I have goals that include expansion of the Super Woman Brand on a global level and I’m taking the small, yet necessary, steps to achieve those goals. I view each collaboration as an opportunity to introduce more people to the Super Woman Brand and its value. I couldn’t do half of what I’ve done, or a third of what I’m going to do in my career this year without my addiction.

It keeps me going. It wakes me up in the morning. It hugs me close in bed at night. It’s why complete strangers say I’m successful.

My journey hasn’t been without its challenges but I can truly say, my addiction (need) to be productive is definitely paying off.