Adjustments

Making adjustments isn’t easy.  It requires that you have information to make an informed decision so that you can facilitate change within yourself.  It’s also referred to as compromise.  So often our only focus is ourselves and we don’t look at how our decisions impact others, and how refusing to adjust can cause us to lose something, or someone, of value to us. No one can have exactly what they want one hundred percent of the time. As human beings rejection is often a part of life and expected to some varying degree. But when dealing with others, if you find yourself always saying “no” and you never offer an alternative or a compromise, you will find yourself isolated.  No one wants to be rejected all of the time.

Making adjustments also requires being selfless. This is often most difficult for people who have a life plan that they want to focus on where they have made minimal room for the “what if’s” that life throws their way. These are the people who will only consider a relationship when they have made a certain amount of money, lived to a certain age or achieved a certain level of education. These are the people who will not travel outside of their immediate neighborhood, city or state for potential opportunities because they “want” to remain where they are. These are the people who only go to certain places or participate in certain activities because they are afraid to leave their comfort zones. They sit – stagnant in one place – the one place they think they need to be in – for the remainder of their lives. They experience little growth and unfortunately not as much success as they could. They forget that they don’t control every aspect of life and that change is occurring all around them.

Making adjustments in relationships requires compromise. Someone I know is relentlessly adamant about not getting involved in a committed relationship. However, he seems to think he should reap the benefits that come with one. He wants the intimacy, the affection, and the home cooked meals. However, he doesn’t want to give any woman a commitment in return. His reason? He says a commitment isn’t included in his priorities. He doesn’t want that to change and he’s already over forty-five years old. I wonder what he would do if an amazing woman came into his life that was willing to do all of those things for him, and more, but would only do them if he would commit to her. Would he decide that since he hasn’t “planned” for her arrival that he needs to pass her by? If everything about her complimented him as a man and enhanced his happiness, would he still reject her? How long would he expect that same woman to continue being involved with him, knowing that he will never commit to her? If she gave him a day, he should feel blessed to have had that.  He hasn’t made room for the “what if’s” in life. As a result, when he’s fifty-five years old, he may still be where he is today.  Hopefully, he will one day learn to make adjustments and compromise more. If not, he will likely miss out of something wonderful in his lifetime.  Humans aren’t immortal, even when we think we are.  At some point, time passes us by.

We don’t have the luxury of having our plans fulfilled exactly when we want them to. Everything happens for a reason. Good, bad and indifferent, often unexpectedly.  Meeting people, changing careers, moving to another state: these are all things that shape our lives and can do so for the better, if we are willing to make adjustments and compromise. It doesn’t take much and it can make a world of difference in the quality of life for you and for someone else.

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