How To Get A Man To Pay Your Bills

Everyday a large amount of traffic comes to my website from women searching for “how to get a man to pay your bills“. I honestly have no idea how that happens because I’ve never written anything on that topic to my knowledge. I’ve written quite a bit and I really can’t remember everything I’ve ever written, so it may be a combination of the words resulting in the hits. Well, due to supply and demand, I decided to give a quick lesson on the subject.

Here’s how you get a man to pay your bills!


1. Don’t have any bills.

If you’re deep in financial debt in this economy, and you meet a man who also has financial responsibilities, the likelihood that he will want to pay your bills is very slim. Single men have bills also, even if they don’t have children. The only single men without bills are most likely living in their parent’s basement or still sleeping in the room they grew up in. That man can’t pay anyone’s bills or he’d have his own house. And let’s be honest, if you were already dating the wealthiest caliber of men to begin with, you wouldn’t be looking for a man to pay your bills in the first place.

2. Don’t ask a man to pay your bills.

Men look at women who ask for them to pay their bills as gold diggers. And that’s me being nice. Men actually call women who ask them to pay their bills garden tools. Here’s the thing, if you have something you can’t afford, a man doesn’t view it as his responsibility to make sure you keep it, particularly if you’re just “some chick” he met at the club, at the party, or even at church. Living above your means is not anyone’s problem but yours. So if you can’t afford that house, car, jewelry, those purses or shoes you covet, you may need to stop buying them or downsize until you can.

3. Don’t be a side chick.

In this society, the side chick gets nothing because she doesn’t know what her role is and has allowed herself to become over saturated. The over saturation of anything depletes its value. Therefore, the side chick (also referred to as the “jump off”, mistress or other woman) is no longer a commodity or convenience for a man to have. As a result, the smartest men will either elect to stay single, so they can date whomever they want, or get married and remain as faithful as possible. Smart men know that having a side chick is not worth losing everything they’ve worked for, no matter how beautiful she is or how good the sex is. The side chick is not likely to ever become his wife either, even if he does lose his marriage because of her. Plus, in this economy, unless a man is very wealthy (like Richard Branson wealthy), the wife isn’t necessarily going to divorce him. She may very well remain married to him and make his life miserable for as long as she feels like it. Either way, the wife gets everything.   

4. Become the wife.

Like I already said, the wife gets everything. The type of man who would pay a woman’s bills wants a woman who has proven herself to be loyal, outside of his wallet and bank account. She has had his back and held him down and when needed, she has also held him up. One example of this is seen in President and First Lady Obama. The woman a man of substance marries has been his motivating factor, his muse and his best friend. She may not be the mother of his children. She may not be the most beautiful woman in the world. She may not even be the smartest light bulb in the box. However, she has been his ego stroke when he needed it, and the necessary reality check when his ego got out of control. She has encouraged him more than she has belittled him. When he gets sick, she not only takes care of him, but she’ll make sure his business doesn’t fall to nothing by calling his supervisor and his doctor. That woman who made him feel better, stronger and taller than he’s ever felt before is the woman he will marry. And that man will pay her bills.

5. Be independent.

The only thing worse than a woman who walks around saying she doesn’t need a man, is a woman who is needy and can’t live without a man in her life. Men who pay bills, like women who have joy and purpose in their lives without needing a man around. A man wants to know that if something tragic were to happen to him (death, dismemberment or illness), that woman can take care of the kids, the house, the cars and the dog, without having to move another man in the very next day. If you can’t do anything for yourself, if you can’t go anywhere by yourself, if you have to always have a man’s attention to feel good about yourself, you will never get a man to pay your bills. You might be nice to look at, have sex with, go to the club with, but you aren’t going to be the woman who gets that man to pay her bills without being considered a garden tool in the process. When a man of substance opens his wallet, he likes to feel like a man while doing it; not like customer number 9

 6. Establish standards and goals that have nothing to do with getting a man to pay your bills.

This is highly essential in your pursuit. If your only standard is a man who will pay your bills and getting such a man is your primary focus and goal for a relationship, you might attain that…but at a cost. There’s a big difference between a man with money and a man who is chivalrous. A man could have all the money in the world. He could drive an expensive car, live in an expensive house, wear expensive clothes and have all the expensive toys he could ever dream of having. That does not mean that he is going to spend his money on you and your bills. In my experience, some of these same men are very insecure and selfish with their money. They don’t mind spending it on themselves and will do so at anytime, but the minute they meet you, they become afraid of letting you near their bank accounts. That’s because they didn’t grow up with money. They are what is considered “new money” or first generation money. Whatever they have financially, they had to either work  extremely hard for it, won the lottery or did something illegal to attain it. Therefore, giving it up isn’t easy for them. And if you manage to get them to give you their money, you now become their property. It’s a lot better to have a man who is chivalrous. A man who is chivalrous believes that his role in his WIFE’S life is to be a provider and he will spend money to make her smile, because he works hard, in every way, for her: he put in time and energy to meet her, court her and has invested his emotions into her. He cares for her and wants the two of them to have a good relationship. Buying gifts, paying bills, and so-on, are something he considers to be a part of who he is as a man in that particular woman’s life. He does so willingly, not by manipulation. Instead, develop personal goals and standards that will attribute to you building your own wealth and being able to pay your own bills. Upgrade yourself and your lifestyle by yourself. If your idea of traveling is going to Chicago for the weekend, you can’t expect to meet a man who has lived in Italy and speaks fluent Italian. You might have to actually go to Italy for that. Which means you need to have your own money. If you work harder at improving your financial situation without the aid of a man, your overall life will improve tremendously, and so will the caliber of men you meet. You attract what you are.    

This may not have been the advice you were searching for when you Googled, however, I don’t write, or speak to people just to tell them what they want to hear. That’s counterproductive. It only results in people continuing to do the same thing expecting different results. I tell people the truth, whether they like it or not. You don’t have to take my advice or adjust your mindset. It won’t change my life one bit if you don’t. However, if you pay attention, and look at yourself hard and long, take my words and put them into practice, it might change YOUR life for the better.     

~ When you know better, you do better.

20 thoughts on “How To Get A Man To Pay Your Bills”

    1. Great article BUT i know plenty of women getting their bills paid and they are NOT working, NOT attractive and seem to put it out there that they need help for their services. I am NOT friends with them but again I know of them. Men have even told me that nonworking women get money because they put the man first and have nothing better to do that have sex. An independent woman like myself, 2 jobs, school and raising 3 kids alone for several years-been single for 6 as well are too busy and already are making ends meet so there is no need for a man’s help.

      Yes, men like my independence but rather help a lazy welfare chick not doing anything with their lives. My own cousin gets helps too and she hasn’t had a job in years so I don’t think what you are saying is entirely true but I am sure it deals with low self esteem from men and wanting attention. I work hard but have never had any man ever help me- i was the dumb wife paying all the bills and being loyal. I will never fall for the same bs but it would really be nice to get help here and there.

  1. You’re article opened up my eyes. I wished for a man to pay my bills because of my upbringing. My parents never gave me money. I asked to borrow $30 for groceries, and they said no. After reading this article, i realized that i must cut my crap out. Boost my own business and get rich on my own, the hard way. It will elude better results.

  2. i got a phone and needed a credit card for the monthly payments. My boyfriend was with me at that time and I asked if I could use his then ill switch it to my bank account and he wont be charged anything.
    He agreed. A few days later he said I was thinking just leave it.

    Then I lost my phone and he asked if he should cancel payments and I said no Ill get a phone next month when I have a little more money.

    After giving it some thought, I sent him a message saying since his only suggestion was to cancel then cancel it.
    Its a bullshit 20 dollars a month but it hurt me tremendously when he didnt offer to buy me a phone instead of cancelling service.

    I later emailed him since you suggested I cancel as your only thought, I thank you for the initail offer, its been cancelled.

    He later emailed me saying he never said that. But I feel 100 times better about finding my own phone soon and changing the 20 dollars a month out of my account.

    I hardly have any money I just survived a car accident and this guy was the cause but I am done counting on him for any security whatsoever.

  3. My boyfriend wants to pay all the bills but tells me if he’s paying all bills he has total say so over what I wear and how I wear my hair. So if he’s taking care of me he feels entitled to pick and choose for me whether I like it or not.

  4. I totally agree I had to dump him, my self worth is more to me than his controlling demands. I had previously allowed myself to let my husband at the time control me for 10 years and he was physically abusive, I ended that marriage 8 years ago then this clown tried to do the similar things I said no way!. Thanks for your response I appreciate it.

  5. When you say, “Separate Checks Please” and a Woman freaks out and leaves… It’s Technically her legal place to pay for her meal and is therefor committing a crime. It’s a Theft by Fraud. No Man Legally has to pay for a Woman’s meals, clothes, rent or any other bill. Except in Ohio and certain states, All Men should avoid, where independence is not recognized.

    I agree with you. Women should set goals that don’t involve Men. There is no Position a Woman CAN’T occupy, if she isn’t Wall Street’s Bitch Like, Hilary. I voted for Jill.

    Women should be treated like Men in Society and be required to perform and come under the expectations of society that a Man has to. This is equality. Any subservient role of Men, would not be Equality.

    Which rolls back to the time where Women, were wards, mere possessions of Men. Where Men were expected to give a Dowry to the house he was taking the Woman from to pay them for the expense of keeping them up all that time.

    But now Women can work in any field they want, they can save money from a job, like any man and file to start their own business, like any man can. There is nothing at all stopping them.

    Women should make their own way in life. Just like Men have to. Some Women are Mad because it’s not easy for them to do. Well, When you refuse to say that you are their equal and you want special dispensation, you are not independent, you are dependent.

    Women will have to work hard if they want to get success, after all if Women are better than Men, this should give them a advantage, rather than a disadvantage.

  6. What about if the guy has moved in with you for the past 3 months?
    I’m and independent woman with my own career. I used to pay my house and all my bills on my own when he met me. I’m giving him time because he ‘s still paying for his rental house since his two adult children live there until October. After that, I think he should volunteer to pay for half of the household bills or not?

    1. First, your situation is a little different than what this blog was about, but since you asked, I’ll answer. He’s grown with grown children living in his rental? To live in your house that you were already paying for, he should be paying ALL of the rent RIGHT NOW, not come October. I don’t buy his excuse and it sounds like he’s a broke man trying to take advantage of your kindness if he never even offered to pay you to live in your house in the first place. However, you should have laid out that expectation in the beginning and you could have seen his true colors. I hate to say it, but don’t be surprised if you tell him it’s time for him to ante up on rent money and you never see him again. And if I’m right, you are better off without him anyway. Get a man with a selfless heart who wants partnership with you, not charity from you.

  7. No. Tanya. He should not pay all the house bills. He should pay half. If the situation was reversed would you expect the woman pay for all of his house bill.

    Men are not entitled to take care of women. Why woment think this is beyond me.

    1. A woman should expect a man to contribute financially, especially if they expect to be cooked for, cleaned after, sexed and supported.. I have my own place and car and have degrees… Ive been independent for a long time… If a man can’t contribute financially then there shouldn’t be any expectations from them on the woman…

      1. “Sexed” is a mutually agreed action. You exchange dick for pussy. No transfer of funds in any way should take place for that. If you’re feeding him and he’s not contributing t the groceries then I understand that.

  8. I’m helping a woman 40 years younger. She apparently has had little training with money and throws temper tandrums when I say no. We’re not having sex. She has had traumatic loss of family members which led her down a path it would be really sad to see her go down again. There are thousands of women just like her who’s mother’s example was that you just get a man and just party all the time.All the red flags are there that would suggest I should just stop and stand down. I used to be a police officer in my younger years. Not long but long enough to know if someone, in this case me doesn’t step up to the plate and give to her and help pay her few bills then she will be really susceptible to be targeted by a trafficker. You may say not being chivalrous but being a fool. All I know is that there are many girls like her that are not with us anymore because nobody gave a dam to step out of there comfort zone and at least try.

    1. Good for you Steve! The struggle to survive is real! I hope this young lady appreciates your kindness and may God bless you!

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