Category Archives: Domestic Violence Awareness

Are You Woke Yet?

​As I watch how we’re being treated by law enforcement, I observe something else. Have you noticed that primarily the shooters are white male officers? There aren’t any white female or black female police officers impulsively gunning black men, women or children down in the streets because they feel threatened by us. I remember years ago a Latina police officer chased a black man, on foot, who had just committed 5 criminal acts, including causing a car accident with my car. When she caught him, he beat her badly, and she had to be hospitalized as a result, but she didn’t panic and kill him and she would’ve been justified if she had. 

A couple years ago, I was arrested and detained for 4 days in a men’s jail. When I was taken into custody, two white male police officers handcuffed me behind my back, then one grabbed me hard by my arm. As they walked me to their squad car, the one holding the vice grip on my arm said “If you try to run, I’ll shoot you in the back”. I immediately stopped walking and stood right there forcing him to stop. I didn’t jerk away from him or anything they could claim was resisting arrest. I just planted my feet and didn’t move. When he turned to look at me because I stopped walking, I looked him in the eyes and said calmly “why wait for me to run? Just shoot me in the front while I’m facing you if you’re going to shoot me.” I think that surprised him. I was pretty much calling him a punk to his face, but I think HOW I said it was what made him drop his head as he loosened his grip on my arm to something more humane. When he stepped towards the car, I released my feet. I don’t know why I did that, but I don’t regret it. I come from a long line of defiant negroes who saw loved ones lynched and burned in the South. If I was going to die that day, for something I didn’t do, I was going to look my murderer in the face. So when I see how we’re treated by law enforcement, particularly some white males in law enforcement, I get really pissed…and sad. 

Today headlines on major news outlets say “What lead to Alton Sterling’s Death?”, as if we don’t know. The simple answer at the root is racism. The deeper problem is the systematic and obvious inequalities in our country between white people who hate and profile people of color, along with the fact that laws and programs have been implemented in our society over a number of decades that have limited the amount of people that look like us from being those that protect and serve us, including WOMEN, which as you recall don’t seem to be the shooters in these murders. Further, we have been subliminally programmed to “get over”, ignore and not talk about hundreds of years of oppression, slavery and racism because “we’ve come along way”. No we haven’t, we’ve taken a step forward but we have a million miles to go. We’re still being held captive, but now it’s in privately funded jails due to mandatory minimum sentencing laws and schools that have textbooks that alter history to water down the truth of who ALL people of color truly are and where we came from. We’re still being treated as lesser people when hundreds of people are murdered by police officers, dozens on video, yet no officers are convicted. We’re still being lynched in the streets while showing our “papers”. We’ve been programmed to compete against each other and hate ourselves, while those who hate us profit off of all the things they say are ugly about us. We’ve been conditioned to fear an enemy called Isis so that we’ll forget about the enemies we have right at home with guns, badges and political power. We’ve been drugged (the never ending war on drugs), experimented on (lead in our water supplies), raped (thousands of untested rape kits) and violated in countless ways, since the first of our ancestors were traded for beans and guns and chained to the bottom of ships and called cargo. It hasn’t ended. You’re lying to yourself if you think we have come along way. History is simply repeating itself, while the world is watching it go live on Facebook, stream on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and loop on Vine. And whether you want to believe it or not, a select amout of people are making millions of dollars off of it all. 

Don’t you sit behind your computer ot smart phone thinking for a second that white people don’t see the injustice and discrepancies, because they do. Some of them are just as angry, fed up, disappointed and woke as we are. Then there are some who could care less because they forget that they could be next in line for police brutality. They think their white privilege protects them. They might want to think again. These officers murdering black people because they can do so without fear of retribution or consequences are a new form of predators. What do you think predators will do after they kill all the niggers? They will turn their guns on their own. The woke white people know this already. They know that if Black Lives don’t matter, eventually their lives won’t matter either. 

Then there’s the blind black people who lie to themselves and say we have freedom and equality. Black people like that are a danger to themselves more than they realize. They are the black people who convince others to sign petitions against Jesse Williams for telling the truth. They are the black people who think their education, money and Instagram followers make them exempt from being victimized. They are the black people who are complicit in everything that does and has happened because they don’t vote and don’t speak up for victims of violence because they’re dead. My biggest pet peeve is the black people that say “just pray about it”. 

We prayed, now what? 

Are we supposed to load our guns, make gun manufacturers richer and have shoot outs with the Sheriff like its the Old West?

Are we supposed to walk around with tactical body armor or bullet proof vests on, just in case we get pulled over or approached by police? 

Are we supposed to keep the cameras on our phones on at all times even though all the video evidence in the world hasn’t resulted in a single conviction? 

Are we supposed to lock ourselves in our homes and never venture out because we’re black? 

I ask these questions because we already prayed. 

And Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were still murdered this week. Are you woke yet?

“Faith without works is dead” – Bible, Book of James 


Happy #IWD2016

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Today we celebrate the contributions of women worldwide and in Detroit we’re also voting in the Presidential Primary, where Secretary Hillary Clinton is a Democratic candidate.

Today I also want to recognize a phenomenal woman by the name of Karen R. Lewis. She is the Founder of The Angel House in Metro Detroit and she advocates against domestic violence. Through her own experience as a survivor and the unfortunate loss of her daughter, also due to domestic violence, Karen found courage and purpose to start The Angel House.

If you’ve ever read my story you know that I too am a survivor of and advocate against domestic violence. Therefore, I feel an immediate connection with other women who’ve had the same experiences. Please lend support to The Angel House anyway that you can in honor of International Women’s Day.
For more information, please visit the website here.

If We Didn’t Stop Growing, We’d All Be Giants

When human beings reach adult maturation, we eventually stop growing taller. As a result, we remain whatever height we are at that time, for the remainder of our adult lives. People are different heights due to their DNA. Regardless of how you think man came to exist here, one thing is true: There had to be an off switch for growth, otherwise we all would be giants.

Sadly some of us also have an off switch when it comes to realizing our potential. We put limitations on ourselves and our way of thinking which stifles our personal growth. We make excuses for not exceeding mediocrity. We blame others for our failures. We don’t take personal responsibility for the direction our lives are going in. We limit ourselves. We stop growing. Regardless of our physical limitations, there shouldn’t be limitations placed on our other abilities. Instead of “I can’t”, more of us should learn to say “I will”.

What hinders you most? Is it what you think of yourself or do you absorb the negativity that others think of you? Is it easier for you to be mediocre than great? Is greatness too much responsibility for you to handle? Understand what I mean by greatness. Greatness isn’t the same as being rich, being a celebrity or even being the boss. Greatness is taking whatever God-given abilities and talents you have and using them completely and without apology to be the best at whatever it is that you do. I don’t care if you sweep floors, greatness is doing your personal best at sweeping those floors.

There’s a lot to be said for putting forth a little effort. Almost every idea I’ve had thus far has come to fruition. I’ve discovered that when I take one step towards making an idea a reality, everything I need to continue comes to me; the people, the connections, the resources and the money. Even when I’m down to the last few dollars I have to invest in the idea, something happens that makes those last few dollars feel like a million dollars. Remember this: everything I’ve done during the last five years that I have been in business has been financed completely by me. I’ve never had a bank loan or financial investor in any of my business endeavors, and I’m still here. Yes, I’ve taken some minor losses, but they haven’t been anything I couldn’t claim as a business expense. I’ve never had to sacrifice the roof over my head or use anything I own as collateral. I haven’t had to visit a single pawn shop or sell anything that I hold dear. That is all because I don’t stop trying. Even if I fail, I take the experience as a lesson and try to do it again but a lot better the next time around, OR I acknowledge that particular endeavor just may not be the right fit for the Super Woman Brand and I set it aside with grace and move on to the next project.

I believe I’m bigger than any of my so-called failures. I believe that every opportunity that comes my way will be something I can touch one day. Maybe not today, but one day. Provided that I continue to take small steps towards it. I know that there are a lot of naysayers who don’t believe in me or anything I do. There are also a lot of doubters and people wishing for my demise with every breath they take. I could care less. I don’t do anything that I do to please those people. I don’t live for those people. I don’t work for those people. They are not my competition, not will they deter me from my goals. Everyone isn’t going to want to ride in my life’s boat with me. Not even when it becomes a beautiful yacht. I don’t even waste time inviting everyone to come aboard. Some people aren’t worthy and if they are included, they will only try to push me overboard off of my own life’s boat. Those people who are worthy will be put in the proper time and place for us to meet. How do I know that? Because it happens almost everyday.

I refuse to let anything or anyone stunt my growth. Growth is more important than money to me. Growth adds value to a person’s life that money could never do. Yes, being a profitable business is important. But also doing something to inspire others to reach their full potential is equally important to me. I don’t have the time to personally mentor everyone who asks, although I wish I did. Many people have unfortunately declined opportunities with me that would have inevitably helped them in the long-term. I learned that can’t give forth thought to short-sighted people so I don’t waste my time trying and I don’t let it upset me. I just continue to move forward with my own goals and show by example what can happen when you make a decision and stick to it.

When I was a child I nearly towered over everyone I went to school with. Occasionally there would be one or two other girls taller than me that would distract people from staring up at me and saying “WOW! How tall ARE you?!?!?

Now, as an adult at 5’10” tall, I still  get that question and I still tower over many people, even ones who are physically taller than I am, simply because I strive to continue to grow.

I strive to grow in my industry.

I strive to grow in my business.

I strive to grow in my community.

I strive to grow my bank account.

I strive to grow my employees.

I strive to grow my network.

I strive to grow my influence.

I strive to growth my value.

And I will continue growing until I become a GIANT

 

♦Super Woman is showing other women how to become a GIANT. Attend or Sponsor the upcoming I Feel Good! Mind, Body and Soul Women’s Conference © Sponsored by Wayne State University on August 17, 2013 at Wayne State University. 

Awareness

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  It’s celebrated nationally with events, conferences and activities.  We celebrate the survivors and commemorate those we have lost to breast cancer, regardless of who they are, by wearing pink, making donations and getting involved.   We do good things for breast cancer awareness during this month. 

October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Unfortunately it is not celebrated nationally.  We don’t pay tribute to the survivors or commemorate those who have lost their lives, regardless of who they are.  We don’t get involved or donate to organizations that assist victims and their families.  We don’t speak out to bring awareness.  Some of us don’t even call 911 when we witness an abusive situation on the street.  We tell ourselves things like “It’s not my business.  I don’t know what she did.  She could leave if she wanted to”.  We make excuses for not speaking out and we develop arguments against the victims.  We forget that at anytime, we could be “her”.  We forget that we’ve all had those minor encounters that could have at any second, turned major and put us in her shoes. 

I have been “her”.  About ten years ago I was “her”.  I was in an abusive marriage with a man who was both controlling and cowardly.  At his hands, I had been choked to the point of petechial hemorrhage, had received a cracked rib, black eyes and numerous bruises.  I had also suffered emotional abuse and infidelity that led to a miscarriage.  After three years and too much patience on my part, I ended the marriage and never looked back.  All my dreams of what a marriage should be, were completely shattered.  As a result, I developed trust issues, and I built a wall around myself that hindered me from allowing myself to be completely loved.  To this day I have nightmares and fears associated with the trauma I experienced.  I am one of the lucky ones.  I left alive.

Domestic Violence affects more people than most of us are aware.  It creates lasting damage to individuals and families beyond what you can ever imagine.  It changes lives; just like breast cancer can do.  I encourage that while we pay tribute to those affected by breast cancer, that we don’t forget those who suffer from domestic violence.  On my charm bracelet, I have my pink ribbon charm accompanied by a purple high heeled shoe charm.  It reminds me to take care of my health, in more than one way this and every October.

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH, 2010
– – – – – – –
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

In the 16 years since the passage of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), we have broken the silence surrounding domestic violence to reach thousands of survivors, prevent countless incidences of abuse, and save untold numbers of lives. While these are critical achievements, domestic violence remains a devastating public health crisis when one in four women will be physically or sexually assaulted by a partner at some point in her lifetime. During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we recognize the tremendous progress made in reducing domestic violence, and we recommit to making everyone’s home a safe place for them.

Read the full proclamation by President Obama by accessing the link here:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2010/10/01/presidential-proclamation-national-domestic-violence-awareness-month