Category Archives: Relationship Blog

Dannon Doesn’t Taste Good Anyway

As a black feminist, in media, I think y’all are taking this Cam Newton ‘he said females are funny and is a sexist’ situation entirely too far. You beautiful citizens of America fell for the division once again. During a time when we should be getting our representatives in DC to provide us with stronger gun legislation, and the US Department of Justice is low key making it harder to be black, we’re turning a miscommunication and misunderstanding into a war, all because a female reporter had her feelings unintentionally hurt by her favorite football player and instead of raising her hand again and saying “excuse me, what do you mean by ‘funny’?”, she let it ruin her day.

She got an apology, but was still unhappy. Why? Because she didn’t ask a follow up question that would have determined Cam’s intent and clarified his statement. For those who are unaware, reporters ask the questions. Athletes answer to what they’re asked. I truly believe that Cam does need more effective media training (which he can hire me for) and a better publicist. However, he doesn’t need to be dragged through the press or social media when his body language alone shows his intent wasn’t meant to be offensive. In fact, it seems like he was impressed that she asked something that the male reporters didn’t even think of (because they often ask about his Instagram posts or other obvious shit that doesn’t interest him much) and he expressed that in a way that she took offense to, but never clarified. Did anyone besides me think there’s the remote chance he meant it as a compliment because she asked a question he found better than any others?

Again, Cam apologized, but she said he didn’t “seem” remorseful. Probably because he didn’t mean to offend her to begin with and offered an apology because he saw it bothered her unexpectedly, not because he felt he was wrong. And that’s OK. Ladies, we all know there’s a difference in the apology we receive when the men in our lives didn’t realize what they said was hurtful because they weren’t trying to be hurtful, and an apology following a malicious statement said to hurt us. The body language and tone are not the same. There’s no begging, or crying, or roses when he didn’t intend to be hurtful to begin with. You get an “I apologize”, then a few days later after it marinates, if you made sure he understands what exactly was hurtful, you may also get a token of that apology, like dinner at your favorite restaurant.

Again, reporters ASK questions. Maybe had she just hit him with that follow up question, she’d have some clarity instead of giving too many people ammunition to argue and turn this situation into everything racist, patriotic, anti-patriotic and sexist that it is truly becoming for no reason. It’s an unnecessary fire storm, over feelings that were unintentionally hurt and a failure to properly and effectively communicate. As women in media, asking a good question is fine, asking a good follow up question can be better. So while people are demanding that Cam needs to do better (I suggest by hiring me for his media training and getting a better publicist), I think the reporter should do better also and not allow her feelings to be used against others to create more division in a country already divided on so many issues. She’s also being dragged on social media and being called a cry baby, which impacts all women working with actual sexists in male dominated industries because she is their new barometer of women not being able to hold their own.

The only thing people seem able to agree on in the midst of all of this, is that Dannon yogurt doesn’t taste good anyway. I agree, it doesn’t and the company isn’t as clean and moral as you think they are. Watch the documentary “What The Health” on Netflix and you’ll see they are hypocrites. I advise you to watch before you stock up on groceries.

You know who’s really mad about all of this? Donald Trump. Because right now Cam Newton and NFL are trending more than he is.

Get Your Happy -An Open Letter to Single Women 

If you’ve been following my journey, you know that I’m not the luckiest woman when it comes to romantic relationships or dating. Although I’m accustomed to being committed, because that’s been the majority of my experience, I’ve had some bad relationships that I had to overcome. Although I enjoying going out, dating has been a serious challenge for me as well. After a couple of stalkers, and too many men who put up facades, it was determined that online dating just isn’t my thing and meeting men in general isn’t always pleasant. 

Instead of doing the “woe is me” single dance, I started intentionally focusing on just being happily single/married to my career. My desire for male companionship has become the last thing I think or care about. Marriage isn’t a goal, it’s an option. And I won’t date a man, or chase a man just to say I “have a man”. I don’t even mind when men assume I’m already in a relationship or married, preventing them from even attempting to date me. I have begun to look at that as a compliment….it means I’m identified as wife material and it helps keep the men who aren’t for me away when they’re unsure of if I’m “taken”, or not. 

I literally can turn men down and not feel any regret. I’ve been doing it for a long time now. I’ve gotten very good at it. I’ve politely said “no thanks” to trips, gifts, dinners, and hotel room keys from a slew of very successful, good looking, and some very famous men, and felt perfectly fine about my decision. *Here comes the grown folks convo.* While other women may think I’m crazy for turning these men away, I know why they show interest in me and more importantly, my p*ssy isn’t what makes me a good woman, therefore, I don’t feel the need to give it to every man who wants it, regardless of his status. Even if a man is genuinely interested in me, it doesn’t change the way I already feel about myself. I know my worth, and no matter how successful, good looking, or famous a man is, my worth isn’t predicated on what he thinks of me at all. I’m not hesitant to let any successful, good looking, or famous man know that “you can Google me, too, bro”, which often, they know already; that is one factor that attracts them to me. 

I can go many of the same places they go and I’m on the same guest lists, so their access doesn’t impress me. I travel, eat at very nice restaurants and wear designer clothes, so offers of plane tickets, handbags and clothes won’t impress me either. Men in my circles grow accustomed to women who fawn over their money, status and material possessions, so when they meet a woman who doesn’t need those things from them, it changes the game and sometimes intimidates them. I’m okay with that. I’m enjoying my life regardless. I’ve found my happy.

I bring this up to say, as women, we have to stop allowing how much we enjoy living life to be determined by how much attention or affection we receive from men. Women “wait” to do things, like traveling, buying jewelry, building/changing their careers, going back to school and buying property, until they “get a man/husband”, while men do whatever they want to do before they get a woman/wife. Too often women will say things like “I want my future husband to buy me a ring/watch/car like this” instead of buying it herself. But a man will see a ring/watch/car he likes and work towards buying it for himself. A woman will say things like “I want to go to Paris/Milan/Ibiza for my honeymoon”, but a man will go to Paris/Milan/Ibiza by himself or with the fellas without hesitation anytime he can afford to. 

Too many women limit the amount of living they do because they prioritize having a relationship with a man above living happily. Those same women often become resentful and envious of other women who have learned to live boldly and happily single, doing everything they want to do…. without waiting for a man to join them or facilitate it for them. That creates a strain in the sisterhood when a woman is unhappily single around her friends who are happily single or happily married. Ladies, you are guaranteed to lose a friend, or two, when you’re not happy because you’re single. 

Life is too short to wait on someone else to live it with you. If you don’t start embracing where you are today and start living life fully, as a single woman, you’ll wake up one day regretting all the things you didn’t do or deferred simply because you were single. Get your happy. Most women meet their Boaz while doing something productive and positive to enhance their own happiness in the first place.  

Devon Franklin posted this picture on Instagram, and it inspired this open letter. 

Are You Woke Yet?

​As I watch how we’re being treated by law enforcement, I observe something else. Have you noticed that primarily the shooters are white male officers? There aren’t any white female or black female police officers impulsively gunning black men, women or children down in the streets because they feel threatened by us. I remember years ago a Latina police officer chased a black man, on foot, who had just committed 5 criminal acts, including causing a car accident with my car. When she caught him, he beat her badly, and she had to be hospitalized as a result, but she didn’t panic and kill him and she would’ve been justified if she had. 

A couple years ago, I was arrested and detained for 4 days in a men’s jail. When I was taken into custody, two white male police officers handcuffed me behind my back, then one grabbed me hard by my arm. As they walked me to their squad car, the one holding the vice grip on my arm said “If you try to run, I’ll shoot you in the back”. I immediately stopped walking and stood right there forcing him to stop. I didn’t jerk away from him or anything they could claim was resisting arrest. I just planted my feet and didn’t move. When he turned to look at me because I stopped walking, I looked him in the eyes and said calmly “why wait for me to run? Just shoot me in the front while I’m facing you if you’re going to shoot me.” I think that surprised him. I was pretty much calling him a punk to his face, but I think HOW I said it was what made him drop his head as he loosened his grip on my arm to something more humane. When he stepped towards the car, I released my feet. I don’t know why I did that, but I don’t regret it. I come from a long line of defiant negroes who saw loved ones lynched and burned in the South. If I was going to die that day, for something I didn’t do, I was going to look my murderer in the face. So when I see how we’re treated by law enforcement, particularly some white males in law enforcement, I get really pissed…and sad. 

Today headlines on major news outlets say “What lead to Alton Sterling’s Death?”, as if we don’t know. The simple answer at the root is racism. The deeper problem is the systematic and obvious inequalities in our country between white people who hate and profile people of color, along with the fact that laws and programs have been implemented in our society over a number of decades that have limited the amount of people that look like us from being those that protect and serve us, including WOMEN, which as you recall don’t seem to be the shooters in these murders. Further, we have been subliminally programmed to “get over”, ignore and not talk about hundreds of years of oppression, slavery and racism because “we’ve come along way”. No we haven’t, we’ve taken a step forward but we have a million miles to go. We’re still being held captive, but now it’s in privately funded jails due to mandatory minimum sentencing laws and schools that have textbooks that alter history to water down the truth of who ALL people of color truly are and where we came from. We’re still being treated as lesser people when hundreds of people are murdered by police officers, dozens on video, yet no officers are convicted. We’re still being lynched in the streets while showing our “papers”. We’ve been programmed to compete against each other and hate ourselves, while those who hate us profit off of all the things they say are ugly about us. We’ve been conditioned to fear an enemy called Isis so that we’ll forget about the enemies we have right at home with guns, badges and political power. We’ve been drugged (the never ending war on drugs), experimented on (lead in our water supplies), raped (thousands of untested rape kits) and violated in countless ways, since the first of our ancestors were traded for beans and guns and chained to the bottom of ships and called cargo. It hasn’t ended. You’re lying to yourself if you think we have come along way. History is simply repeating itself, while the world is watching it go live on Facebook, stream on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and loop on Vine. And whether you want to believe it or not, a select amout of people are making millions of dollars off of it all. 

Don’t you sit behind your computer ot smart phone thinking for a second that white people don’t see the injustice and discrepancies, because they do. Some of them are just as angry, fed up, disappointed and woke as we are. Then there are some who could care less because they forget that they could be next in line for police brutality. They think their white privilege protects them. They might want to think again. These officers murdering black people because they can do so without fear of retribution or consequences are a new form of predators. What do you think predators will do after they kill all the niggers? They will turn their guns on their own. The woke white people know this already. They know that if Black Lives don’t matter, eventually their lives won’t matter either. 

Then there’s the blind black people who lie to themselves and say we have freedom and equality. Black people like that are a danger to themselves more than they realize. They are the black people who convince others to sign petitions against Jesse Williams for telling the truth. They are the black people who think their education, money and Instagram followers make them exempt from being victimized. They are the black people who are complicit in everything that does and has happened because they don’t vote and don’t speak up for victims of violence because they’re dead. My biggest pet peeve is the black people that say “just pray about it”. 

We prayed, now what? 

Are we supposed to load our guns, make gun manufacturers richer and have shoot outs with the Sheriff like its the Old West?

Are we supposed to walk around with tactical body armor or bullet proof vests on, just in case we get pulled over or approached by police? 

Are we supposed to keep the cameras on our phones on at all times even though all the video evidence in the world hasn’t resulted in a single conviction? 

Are we supposed to lock ourselves in our homes and never venture out because we’re black? 

I ask these questions because we already prayed. 

And Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were still murdered this week. Are you woke yet?

“Faith without works is dead” – Bible, Book of James 


Real Women Won’t Hold You Back

There’s something terribly wrong with this picture. Women, especially the younger ones under 35, are always crying about men lacking ambition, drive, focus, determination and commitment, but those same women do everything possible to undermine, discourage and sabotage the men who do. They think that being a real woman means having a man. They think that being a good woman means chasing a man. They are even so foolish to think they can get and keep a man by threatening and harassing other women. It never works in their favor, yet they are determined to try.

I feel bad for men who are surrounded by women who themselves don’t want anything more out of life  other than to be “hood”, “liked”  and “ratchet”.

To put it bluntly, there’s a THOT TAKEOVER in progress in this world, and they are doing their best to try to take our promising men down with them. Yes, the thotish behavior of women is negatively impacting the success of men of every generation and will for generations to come if it’s allowed to spread. It’s difficult enough to lay the foundation for our sons to grow up and become strong, decisive, productive members of society, but when you add a thot to the equation, you make the mathematics impossible to solve for any man.

I’m a feminist, who also loves men. No matter how much heartache I’ve had in past relationships, I have a tremendous amount of affection towards the male gender. I have learned a lot about myself and men specifically in many areas of my life because of the men who are and have been apart of it.  It’s not always easy to do, but I can say that because I am not bitter and angry,  like some women, I have built awesome rapports with men personally and professionally. I have the respect of these men because of the kind of woman I am, and the way I conduct myself; not because of how many fans I have, or don’t, and not because of sex.

When it comes to sex, I have no problems being celibate. Keep in mind that I’m not practicing celibacy because I can’t get a man. The problem I’ve always had is that my sex appeal attracts too many men and often they aren’t the kind of men I’d want in my life. It’s the combination of pheromones and the long legs that start at the floor and come all the way up to make an ass out of themselves, that causes me problems with men… or so I’ve been told.

Celibacy is a character, esteem and strength builder.

Celibacy helps me to focus on myself on a deeper level and have a clearer mind so that I will have better discernment when I do decide to date a man. Celibacy shows that I can be sexy without having to have sex. Because of celibacy, I can tell which men are worthy of my time, attention and energy, and which ones are not. Further, because I don’t chase men, I don’t hate on women who have a man, and I don’t compete with thots, I’m self-assured, confident, successful, and I don’t share my body with every good-looking, charming man who wants it. Those are just some of the many characteristics that men actually find attractive about me and other good women in the world. Thots don’t have those qualities going for them. Thots are selfish. They are attention whores who need to be validated at every turn. They like to use a lot of words and can’t say anything meaningful or valuable. They can’t bring anything to the table, not even a pitcher of water because they concentrate more on how cute they are than being smarter or successful. They are braggadocious about their sexuality, and overly aggressive towards men that have absolutely no interest in them because of it.

Men are comfortable with women who don’t try to manipulate them,  who can speak to them like they are adults and allow them to make informed decisions for themselves. Any man who has ever said he didn’t want to pursue a relationship with me wasn’t harassed or belittled. He was set free to do whatever he thought was best for him at that time. Any woman he decided he did want to be with or even showed him attention after me wasn’t harassed by me either. Why? Because I don’t need to prove myself or my womanhood to any one. What does that resolve? Nothing.

In my personal relationships, sometimes men later realize that I may have been the better woman and sometimes they don’t, but they can never say I wasn’t a good woman towards them when they were with me and they can’t say I’m crazy because I can’t handle rejection either. Thots hate rejection. It hurts their feelings because they lack maturity and self-esteem. Thots are quick to attack the next woman in a man’s life, while real women know that they have other options that they can take advantage of.

I learned early on how to be a motivating factor and a supportive woman to a man. It’s not hard, but not everyone can do it either. It’s not about the material things. It’s not about being loud and making it rain in the clubs. It’s not about proving you’re the baddest bitch in a room (that woman doesn’t have to prove anything because everyone else already knows she is). It’s not about cooking a struggle meal or giving good sex either. That’s how thots think.

Real women, grown women, know better.  Grown women know that men mature at different stages, ages and for different reasons. We as women can’t always motivate and nurture men throughout every one of these phases, but we do know that when a man seeks something better for himself of his own accord, he will find and want the woman who will help him accomplish that. He’s not going to give his attention to the woman who is telling him he can’t, he shouldn’t, she doesn’t want him to, or the woman trying to sabotage all of his opportunities and relationships because she fears losing something that wasn’t truly hers to begin with – him. After all, if he was hers, they’d be married and supporting each others dreams and goals.

There’s a vast difference between a good woman who knows how to have a man’s back and a thot who only wants to hold a man back. A thot knows that him moving forward in his life, growing, maturing and becoming successful in spite of her, means that she has no power over him.

Real women don’t seek to have power over men.

Not our husbands, not our sons, not our brothers. We seek to co-exist and partner with men so that we can have a stronger dynamic in this world. There’s so many forces against us already as women, we don’t need to be anymore combative with each other or over any man.

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Relationship Goals

There’s been a lot of cute memes and videos circulating on the internet with #RelationshipGoal(s) examples. Everything from hugging and holding hands, to being handcuffed and wearing matching shoes. Being a woman who has had a multitude of bad relationships that included hugging, holding hands, wearing matching shoes and the occasional handcuffs (please reference some of my blogs or short stories if you don’t know what I mean), those things just aren’t a relationships priority for me.

Although the idea of a relationship lasting for a decent period of time is a foreign concept for me, if I were ever afforded the opportunity to have a healthy, successful partnership with a man who loves and respects me, my relationship goals would include honesty, communication, building wealth and leaving a legacy behind for our grandchildren. We can have great sex, of course, and dress nice, live a comfortable lifestyle, travel and such, however having mutual respect, admiration and support for each other’s professional endeavors, talents, ideas and ambition would be what separates the good from the best, in the way that I view a successful relationship for myself now.

Having someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself in spite of what others say about you, can make a difference in your self esteem as well as in your bank account balance.
Someone who encourages you to take care of yourself, mentally, physically and emotionally, so that you can look and feel good, as well as combat stress that comes from obstacles you can’t control, can be the difference between you being happy and having a heart attack. Having someone who respects your sacrifices and struggles to grow within your purpose, instead of someone trying to change who you are to fit their agenda, can be the wind beneath your wings.

But that’s not how a lot of people view relationships anymore.

A lot of people look at relationships as something they need to make them whole and happy. That isn’t the case. Relationships are meant to enhance who you already are and increase the happiness you that already have as an individual. Seeking happiness from someone else in a relationship will not make you a whole person. And if, because it happens, the relationship ends, then what do you do? Sadly, some people resort to extremes because they can’t let go of the person they believed made them happy. That’s not healthy for anyone involved.

A lot of people also hold a lot of bitterness when their relationships end. It’s normal. It’s human. But you have to let it go so that you can move forward and have the opportunity to do it better the next time around. Try to refrain from wishing ill towards someone when the relationship ends. That only creates a void within yourself. When you genuinely care for someone else you want them to be happy, healthy and whole, not because of you, but even without you around.

I’ve always admired power couples. Personally that is what I’d like to have if and/or when I get involved with someone again (yes I’m cynical about the possibilities. Again, reference my past blog posts).  Power couples are typically two separately successful individuals who come together and complement each other’s drive, ambition, talent, focus, etc. etc. etc. There are thousands of said power couples in the world. Some more successful and popular than others, but all equally beautiful to me.

These couples probably wouldn’t have the relationships they have if they depended solely upon each other for their success or their happiness. They came to the table as two people with a lot to offer as individuals and saw that in each other, made a decision to combine together and grow towards something they wanted. That is what I think it takes to reach your #relationshipgoals.

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I Admit To Failing

There’s a preconceived notion that people who are successful are equally successful at everything they do and in all areas of their lives. People who are successful often have experienced failure; not only prior to becoming successful at what they’re good at, but also in other areas. Every first attempt at anything can result in failure just as repeated attempts at the same thing can, if a person isn’t learning more and growing during the experience.

As successful as other people think I am in my business and career, many attempts I’ve made to develop different ideas and projects over the years, have failed. Some worse than others, even to the degree that they won’t be attempted again. I receive a great deal of rejection emails from companies and brands I seek support from for my events and projects. I’m averaging approximately two rejection emails per day. They are always accompanied by an explanation. The most popular being:
•We’ve already supported events for the year.
•We only support specific causes and this doesn’t qualify.
•We don’t have the personnel to assist at this time.
•You don’t have a large enough social media following.
…and the list goes on.

Not only have I learned to expect rejection, I’ve learned that I have to decide in the beginning of the project or idea that I want to pursue, exactly how I’m going to move forward without any assistance or support, so that I don’t have to rely on others who may only reject me when asked. Being prepared to handle everything alone reduces the likelihood that I will have to feel disappointed later. It’s also partly how I came to be known as Super Woman; I go it alone whenever necessary.

I’m not nearly as successful as I’d like to be and it will take a lot longer than I’d like to get there because I started my business as a second career that I never planned for. I’m literally learning about my own business every day. I know that my level of success is determined by many factors and I weigh them all; including my accomplishments and failures in other areas of my life.

There is one area of my life where I admit to being a complete failure:

Dating and relationships.

It’s just something I’m quite terrible at and I have been my entire adult life. The older and more mature I become, the more I fail at dating. It has gone from me dating a lot, without anything serious developing, to men not asking me out at all and only offering me compliments privately on social media. I’ve been on about 5 dates in the last year. Men just don’t want to court me. Of course, they also have a variety of explanations, including, but not limited to:
•”I’m not interested in dating anyone.” (wants to remain single)
•”I’m not ready for commitment.” (has commitment phobia or already in one)
•”You’re too busy for me.” (is codependent and lacks confidence)
•”I’m too busy with other things in my life.” (doesn’t want to give attention to one woman when he can have many)
•”You don’t need a man in your life.”
•”There are plenty of men who want you, so I can’t compete.”

Those last two I can’t translate any other way and are complete fabrications by the men who have said them in my opinion. I have never said that I don’t need a man and I have no idea where all these imaginary men who want me are supposedly residing or even who they are. But I digress.

Of course my friends and relatives have made considerable attempts to keep hope on life support, by telling me how awesome I am, by introducing me to single men that they assume might be interested in me and they try to make me feel better with logic by telling me:
•Men think they’re immortal so they are waiting to get married later in life. (yes, but I don’t want to date anyone my father’s age or older)
•Men are intimidated by you/your success. (sigh, it’s only going to get worse then)
•Men all just want to be players and date a bunch of different women. (doesn’t that get old eventually?)
•Men are just stupid and confused. (and?)
•Men assume you’re already taken. (why? and why not ask me?)
•Men fear rejection. (so do women, big deal)
•You’re just not meeting the right men. (where are the right men?)
•There are plenty of men wishing for a woman like you. (but they clearly can’t say so)
•Your Boaz will find you one day. (Oh, God)
•You’re still young and there’s plenty of time for marriage. (if you say so)

Regardless, whether these statements are true or not, I still fail at dating. If I can’t date anyone more than one time, how can I ever expect to get married again and have it last for the rest of my life? Whenever the rare occasion arises that I actually like a man enough to want to date him, he friend zones me indefinitely and showd no interest in dating me in return. When a man asks me out, I don’t know if I’m even on a real date or not. The few men who actually asked me out in the last year, do so inconsistently (every six months or longer) which is a clear indication that they are just not that into me. That inconsistency presents new concerns for me to contemplate because it’s been so long since I’ve seen that man. I wonder:
•What should I wear?
•Should I expect food?
•Should I be prepared to ask for separate checks?
•Should I drive myself or ask him to pick me up?
•Should I shake his hand or hug him  when I see him?
•Should I thank him when I leave?
•Is he only asking me out because he wants free book publishing?
•Is he only asking me out because he expects sex?
•Is he secretly married or in a relationship and I don’t know it?

All of that is too much to worry about and by the time I get dressed I’m a nervous wreck, for no reason at all. I don’t believe in dating for just for “fun” or to get a free meal. At the age of 40, if I give of my time, rearrange my schedule, spend time and money to get my hair and make up done, put on something impressive, leave my house and allow a man into my personal space, my goal is to find out if there’s any interest in developing a committed relationship between the two of us, over a reasonable amount of time, or not. That is my only intention at this time in my life. I can have fun and a meal with my friends, by myself or with Super Son. After all, I’m busy.

My schedule is often an excuse men like to use against me. Many men have claimed they don’t ask me out because I’m always working or going places. What they don’t realize is that my ambition was born out of me not having a reliable, consistent, interested and loyal man to share my life with. Instead of crying and complaining about being alone, or wondering what’s wrong with me, I decided to find ways to occupy that increasingly extra time in my life more productively, with hopes that it would eventually make me wealthy. My goals are an equal and opposite reaction to the rejection I’ve received during my failed dating experiences.

My bad dating experiences have altered who I am on a deeper level and changed me into a very driven, ambitious, goal-oriented, single, business woman, who is very mindful of what and whom she invests her time and energy towards. It’s a huge benefit for me in business and since I wasn’t successful at dating and relationships to begin with, I don’t see the need to change for ‘what ifs’ that may not ever materialize. To some degree I’ve even convinced myself that no matter how successful I become, how well I take care of myself (financially, spiritually, physically), how well I dress, how engaged my social media presence becomes or anything else, there’s a great possibility that I will still fail at dating and relationships. Some of the best advice I ever got from a very successful, married man (guess who that might be), was that I need a man who realizes that you are the missing element in his life and success”. However, if men don’t see me as a woman they want to combine lives with, that is something beyond my control. All I can control is making sure I don’t waste my time or energy needlessly trying to convince a man otherwise. That is time I can’t recoup and energy that I could’ve put into myself, one of my causes, or others in my life who need me.

I know that saying I’m a failure may seem to be a self fulfilling prophecy. But it isn’t. Admitting that I don’t succeed at dating actually makes me more self aware of what I am good at doing. It creates a deeper appreciation for the achievements and blessings I do have. I may be single, and bad at dating, but I am a great mother, a published author, a published writer, a business woman and I use my gifts in ways that inspire others. Would a man want to date a woman with all of that going for her? Maybe. Maybe not. I’ve discovered that some men don’t want the “next Oprah Winfrey” for a wife.

The good news is that today we don’t have to find out. Instead my energy is going where it is currently needed; into the Super Woman Brand. I’m able to focus on the opportunities coming my way and broaden my business relationships, instead of lowering my standards or wasting my time. I can’t share the details of the opportunities until the ink dries, but when I do share them, know that they have been a work in progress by myself or whomever I’m working with on them. Overnight celebrity, or Instafame, have never been my goal. My goals are bigger than that. As a result, through the practice of patience, I strongly prefer slower growth that builds strength and resilience, so I can withstand more, both professionally and personally.

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. ~Moliere